“Hey, Eli,” Gracie calls, once she’s done slobbering all over her boyfriend.
“Yeah?” I ask warily. My guard is up and I’m fully prepared for her to say something shitty to me about Ava.
“Are you and Ava going to be able to work it out?” She leaves Caleb and approaches me, her expression full of concern.
I shrug, trying to play it off, though I don’t know why I’m bothering. Gracie won’t give me shit, though I can feel Hayden’s assessing gaze on me.
That’s the one I have to watch out for.
“Maybe,” I say, keeping it purposely vague. Why does everyone want to know our business?
“Do you want to work it out with Ava?” Hayden asks.
I swing my attention in her direction, wondering if I have an ally in her or not. I like Hayden. I like all of my friends’ girlfriends for the most part, but they’ll take Ava’s side every time and I know it. Just like I’d take one of my friends’ sides every single time. That’s how it works when you have your friends’ backs.
Unless one of them did something extremely shady or, I don’t know—illegal? Then I’d have an issue.
“I do,” I finally admit. “But maybe—it should be her turn.”
Hayden’s face hardens, her mouth turning into a frown. “What do you mean?”
“She has to come to me,” I say. “I approached her last night at the party, and it didn’t—quite work out. Now the ball is in her court.”
Yeah. I like the basketball analogy.
“Really, Eli? You’re just going to wait for Ava to approach first?” I turn to Gracie, just in time to see her roll her eyes. “You’re so stubborn. All of you are.”
“Hey, I tried. Now she needs to make an attempt,” I say indignantly.
“You might be waiting for her to come to you forever,” Hayden points out.
“That’s the chance I’m willing to take,” I say, my voice easy. Full of confidence.
But deep inside, I can’t deny it.
I’m freaking the fuck out.
Eight
Ava
“It’s been so nice having you around,” Mom says as she approaches the table where I’m sitting. “We’ve missed you.”
It’s Monday afternoon and I’m outside in the back yard by the pool, enjoying the cooler weather. A storm is brewing. I can see the dark clouds clinging to the mountains in the near distance, and there’s a distinct nip in the air that tells me fall is most definitely upon us.
“Yeah, it’s been weird, not having to work on homework or go to class,” I say, watching my mother settle into the chair across from me.
I really take her in, noting our similar features, our matching green eyes. My mother is still beautiful, even though she’s a mom. But I’ve always thought Mom was beautiful, and I know Dad does too. He still gets hearts in his eyes when he stares at her too long, and I remember how Eli used to do that with me, too.
Ugh. Eli. Just thinking about him hurts my brain and my heart, yet my body lights up like it wants another chance with him. I still can’t forget the kiss we shared Saturday night. It had been months since we’d seen each other, let alone touched. The moment he put his hand on me, my entire body reacted and immediately wanted more. And then when his mouth settled on mine, and the words he said?
Whew. Hot.
The chemistry between us is still there, but is it enough?
“Do you miss school? And your friends?” Mom asks, her soft voice breaking into my thoughts.
We’re currently the only two at home. Beck’s at school and Dad left a while ago to go join him at football practice. Gracie reached out to me late last night, asking if I wanted to get together for dinner tonight and I said yes. She’s the only one of our friends who lives here, since she’s teaching at the local elementary school and everyone else is down in Fresno.
“No, not really. The break is nice,” I answer. “I do miss Ellie though.”
I miss my best friend something fierce. She’ll be coming home soon, thank goodness. By Halloween at the latest, she reassured me via text a few days ago. Specifically on Saturday night when I was having a minor freak out after my run-in with Eli and I needed her advice.
More than anything, I needed her to tell me everything was going to be all right. And she did exactly that, calming me down.
“Oh, for a second there I thought you were going to say you miss Eli,” Mom says, wincing.
“Ah, no.” I shake my head extra hard, as if I need to convince myself. Which, I sort of do, because let’s be real.
I totally miss Eli.
“You can be real with me, you know,” Mom says, her voice low, her gaze unwavering as she watches me. “I’m sure you actually do miss Eli, even though he hurt you so badly.”
“He’s a stubborn jackass,” I say, not holding anything back. “I saw him Saturday night. After the game.”
Mom’s brows lift slightly, but otherwise there’s no visible reaction to my confession. “And how did it go?”
“Terrible,” I say, not about to admit that I kissed him and we basically felt each other up. I’m pretty open with my mother, but not that open.
“Did you talk to him?”
I shake my head.
“Not at all?” She sounds skeptical.
“Not enough to make a difference. He’s still stubborn as ever.” God, I sound bitter.
“So it’s over between you two?” Mom actually seems sad.
“How can I work it out with him when he won’t even listen to me? He’s impossible.” He’s also ridiculous and hard-headed and…distracting.
Very, very distracting.
“You’re still mad at him too, aren’t you?”
I nod, not bothering to deny it. “We’re uhhh…definitely not seeing eye to eye right now, Mom. And I’m not sure if we ever will.”
“You know, your dad and I split up right after we started—seeing each other,” Mom admits as she gazes off into the distance.
Why the hesitation over saying ‘seeing each other’? The early days of their relationship have always been a bit of a mystery to me, and they rarely talk about it.
“Why?”
“His life was messy. Isn’t that what you kids like to say?” She laughs when I make a face. “I sound like an old woman. Anyway, your father was a bit of a mess and I was too, and he tried to cut things off to protect me I suppose, but really? I think he did it to protect himself. He didn’t know what to do with me.”
“Why do you say that?” And why is she telling me this?
“His feelings for me scared him, which was fine because my feelings for him scared me too. Everything happened so fast between us, it was overwhelming.” She’s totally lost in her memories, I can see it in her eyes, on her face. “I think sometimes you and Eli overwhelm each other.”
“He’s overwhelming,” I agree.
“But so are you. You’re always so passionate when it comes to what you believe in. You don’t back down, Ava. Neither does Eli.” When my gaze meets hers, she smiles gently. “Maybe you should learn how to back down a bit.”
“No way do I want to give first,” I say firmly.
Mom laughs. “And you claim he’s the stubborn one. I think it goes both ways.”
It probably does, but I don’t want to admit that.
“I think you two should really talk to each other, without any other distractions.” She sends me a pointed look. “Like your friends.”
“Pretty sure he doesn’t want to do that.” And I’m too scared to do it. What if he touches me again, kisses me, and we end up getting carried away? Next thing I know, we’ll have sex and nothing will get resolved.
“Do you regret going to Spain?” Mom asks, changing the subject.
I shake my head. “It was the best thing I could’ve ever done for myself at that time, and I have zero regrets.”
“Even though you lost your boyfriend in the process?”
“Honestly? I thought maybe we would—be back together by
now,” I admit, feeling foolish.
Hating that I just said that out loud.
“This is why you should try and talk to him without anyone else around. I know you love your friend group, and they are all so supportive. I wish I had that many friends when I was your age, but sometimes their voices and opinions can get in the way.” Her smile is gentle, her gaze sincere.
I know she’s right.
“Maybe I’ll text him.” Oh wait. I can’t.
I’m blocked.
I meet Gracie for dinner at Southgate, a local restaurant that is part brew house and has fantastic food. Tourists and locals flock to the place, but considering it’s October, there are more locals than tourists currently occupying tables. It’s funny how Gracie has turned into a local, though I’m sure she’s not necessarily embraced by the community yet since she only started at the elementary school in August.
I remember how reluctant the locals were to accept my family into the fold, and my dad is a freaking NFL Super Bowl champion for the love of God. He won them over by coaching in the youth football league and then at the high school. Only then were the Callahans fully embraced as part of the community.
Gotta love small towns.
“Are you liking it here?” I wrinkle my nose, fully prepared for Gracie to complain. She grew up in the Bay Area, so she’s used to big cities. She’d complain that Fresno was too small for her sometimes.
“I love it here. Everyone’s so friendly and accepting,” she says, her eyes sparkling and a giant smile on her face. We’ve already ordered drinks and appetizers—no alcohol, since I’m still only twenty, and Gracie drove herself here—and I’m dying to drill her for info on Caleb.
And maybe a little info about Eli too.
“Really?” I didn’t expect her to say that.
She nods. “Once they found out Caleb is my boyfriend, I was considered one of them. His parents are an institution in this town. Multi-generational. His grandparents still live here too.”
“I forgot about that.” I stir my straw in my Coke, then take a sip. “You and Caleb doing good?”
“Yes, can you believe it? Remember how much I hated him?” A sigh escapes her and she’s got this dreamy look on her face. It’s kind of annoying, only because I recognize it and am currently experiencing a twinge of jealousy.
“I always figured the hate was a mask for all that sexual tension brimming between the two of you,” I tease her.
“There was always something, huh? It was hard not to notice.” She rests her elbow on the table, her chin propped on her fisted hand. “Just like there’s still something between you and Eli.”
My cheeks grow warm and I duck my head for a moment, fighting embarrassment. I’ve told no one about our kiss on Saturday night. Not even Ellie, and I tell her everything.
Can I tell Gracie?
“Did something happen between you two?”
Hmm, sounds like she already suspects.
When I still remain quiet, her eyes narrow and she leans across the table, her voice pitching low as she says, “Something did happen. It’s written all over your face.”
“He kissed me.” I shrug, trying to play it off.
“Did you kiss him back?”
“Well, yeah.” Duh, is what I want to say, but I’m trying to remain mature about the situation.
“And was it good? Better than usual?”
It feels like she’s living in my head. “You ask a lot of questions.”
“I’m curious, and I’m watching out for you. Eli can be very…persuasive.” I’m about to ask her how she knows this when she continues, “I lived with him, which he talked me into doing, by the way, even though I knew it might be a huge mistake. He can convince just about anyone to do something they don’t want. He’s rather—charming.”
“Unless he’s pissed at you. Then he’s not charming at all,” I mutter, making her laugh.
“Says the woman who pissed him off yet kissed him Saturday night.”
I ball up my discarded straw wrapper and throw it at her. It nails her in the cheek, which has me laughing. “He’s sexy when he’s pissed.”
Our laughter dies and the knowing look on her face is almost annoying.
“You think he’s sexy.”
“Of course I do. I’m still in love with him.” I say it like I have a disease. As if I was diagnosed with something terminal and it’s killing me slowly. It feels that way sometimes, my love for Eli. Like I’ll never get over him no matter how hard I try.
“Then why aren’t you doing something about it?” she asks me. When I glance up, I see the sincerity in her gaze. The way she’s watching me, as if she’s genuinely curious and concerned.
Gracie is a good friend. I need to confide in her.
“You promise you won’t say anything about this conversation to Caleb?” I ask.
She nods. “Of course not. He can’t keep a secret to save his life. He’d run straight to Eli and report this conversation to him if I told him about it. Not to screw you over, but to help his bro out.”
“You do realize when we were in high school, they hated each other,” I say, unable to keep that little fact to myself. “One night, Caleb was flirting with me after a football game and Eli about ripped his face off.”
“And they call us the dramatic ones.” Gracie rolls her eyes.
“Yeah.” A sigh leaves me and I decide to be completely real with my friend. “I don’t know if I want him back.”
“You mean Eli?” she asks. I nod my answer. “Why do you say that?”
“Even after everything that happened between us, I was still willing to go to Spain because, deep down, I thought he’d come around. He’d realize he was being ridiculous, and when I came home, we would be able to talk it out and fix everything, you know?” I was living in a dream land.
“But he hasn’t done that,” Gracie says.
“He hasn’t done that,” I repeat with another sigh. “I know he’s still in love with me, too. Though I can’t confirm if he’s been with other girls or not.”
My stomach twists just saying the words. I cannot imagine him being with someone else. He had a complete player reputation before we got together. I knew what I was dealing with. But he’s been one hundred percent devoted the entire time we’ve been in a relationship. He was totally into me. Other girls didn’t even turn his head.
But we broke up months ago. He can do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants. So can I.
No one else tempts me though. I glance around the room, spotting a cute guy sitting a couple of tables over with a group. He catches my eye, offering me a smile and I look away, not even bothering to smile in return.
Yeah. No one else matters to me. Not right now.
Just Eli.
“I don’t think he’s been with other girls,” Gracie says softly. “But I don’t really know either. Not like they would tell me anyway.”
Her words don’t ease my worry, but I try and shove it into the corner of my mind so I won’t focus on it. I can’t control what he does, just like he can’t control me either.
What if he’s been with other women though? Would I be able to forgive him? I suppose there’s nothing to forgive, since we aren’t together, but if he were able to find someone else so quickly…
I don’t know if I could deal with it.
Nine
Eli
I notice her before I see anyone else. The moment we walk into the restaurant, I spot Ava sitting at a table on the other side of the room, talking intently with Gracie.
I knew it was risky coming to this restaurant. My mom has been harassing me for weeks to meet up with her for dinner, and I finally gave in. She complained that she doesn’t like to drive down to Fresno at night, so I agreed to meet her up here, in the same town where I spent my teen years. Where Ava was. Is.
Fuck, she’s even in the same restaurant. What are the odds?
The hostess leads us to a table, and she keeps giving me flirtatious glances, but I igno
re her, keeping my expression steely. Downright unreadable. Mom is talking a bunch of nonsense to the girl as if she knows her and the minute we’re seated, I ask her what’s up.
“Did you know that girl?” I ask once the hostess seats us.
“Why yes, she actually goes to your old high school. She’s a senior. I always see her when I come in here with my friends,” Mom says as she snatches up the cocktail menu the hostess left behind.
Worry fills me. She promised she wasn’t drinking as much, but I’m thinking she’s lying. “Are you really going to order a drink?”
“I’m not driving, so yes,” she snaps, her gaze never straying from the menu. If I could snatch it out of her hands and fling it across the room, I so would.
Great idea, Mom, coming to this place so you can booze it up and oh yeah, look at that. There’s Ava.
It’s like I can’t escape her pretty ass.
Fucking sucks.
I bite back what I really want to say and flip open the menu, my gaze sliding over the options, though I don’t actually comprehend what I’m reading. My emotions are turbulent. Rising and falling within me, fighting for domination. I’m equal parts frustrated and stressed and nervous, all because of a certain someone who I’m currently sharing air with.
“Eli.”
I glance up when Mom whispers my name. “What?”
“Isn’t that Ava over there?” She tips her head in the direction of Ava and Gracie’s table.
I nod, training my gaze on the menu. I refuse to look over at her. “Yeah.”
“She’s back in town?”
I nod again, my appetite fleeing.
“Back from Spain?”
“Yes, Mom.” I slam the menu shut and drop it onto the table. “She’s back from Spain.”
“Why isn’t she in school?”
“She took the semester off.”
“Are you two speaking?” Mom knows about our breakup, but that’s all she knows. I gave her no details, which was probably a mistake because now she’s full of questions and I don’t want to talk about Ava.
The Senior (College Years Book 4) Page 7