Ava sniffs. “You wanted to take a break.”
“I’m a fucking idiot.” I shake my head once. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I need you. I love you.”
I’m not holding shit back. Not anymore.
“This…” Her gaze briefly casts downward before it returns to mine. “This will change everything.”
I can’t help it. I drop my hand from her face and settle it over her flat stomach, my touch light. “You’re for real right now.”
She nods. Smiles faintly. Maybe she can feel my excitement because, yeah, I can’t deny it.
I’m excited.
I’m going to be a dad. And Ava is my baby mama.
Another server walks by and I announce, “We’re having a baby.”
“Sshh,” Ava says, hitting my arm.
The lady is older, there’s gray in her hair and wrinkles around her eyes. She stops when I say that, a big smile forming on her face. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” I’m beaming. I can feel the smile stretching my face so wide, it almost hurts.
The woman walks away and Ava sends me a chastising look. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not? We’re going to be parents, Ava.” I tip my head back and laugh. “Can you freakin’ imagine? You and me, Mom and Dad?”
She smiles, and it’s like the clouds have broken and the sun is shining through them, thin beams of golden light falling on the two of us. I lean in and touch her face, sweeping my thumb across her cheek. Her skin is so soft, and she’s a little pale, but damn if she isn’t the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
And she’s going to have my baby.
“Aren’t you scared?” she asks, her lips trembling.
Leaning in, I kiss her. It’s soft and light and I hope she can feel what I’m feeling, because yeah, I’m scared. But with her by my side, we’re going to be fine.
“Yeah,” I admit. “I’m excited too, though.”
She grabs hold of the front of my sweatshirt, fisting the fabric. “I’m still mad at you, Eli.”
“I’m a dick,” I say immediately.
“It’s going to take more than that for me to forgive you.” She shakes her head. “You pushed me away so easily.”
“It was a mistake. I’m just—I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. There’s been so much going on, so much pressure coming in on me from all sides.” I press my forehead to hers and stare into her eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”
“We can’t keep doing this to each other, especially now. We have someone else to think about.”
Oh fuck.
I lift away from her, needing the space for a moment. I lean back against the booth, waving at the server as she approaches us. “You serve liquor here?”
She cackles out a laugh. “No, we do not, young man, and especially not in the morning. How about a strong cup of coffee?”
“Done,” I tell her.
“Are you sure you don’t want a cup of coffee?” the woman asks Ava kindly.
She shakes her head. “No, thank you.”
I send her a look when the waitress leaves. “You live for that shit. Coffee. Starbucks. Whatever.”
“Caffeine isn’t good for the baby,” she admits softly.
I whistle low, marveling at what she just said. At how she just changed my life completely with only a few words. “This is crazy. You’re pregnant.”
“Right?” She glances helplessly around the mostly empty restaurant. “I agree.”
“I can’t wait to tell everyone,” I start, but clamp my lips shut when she shakes her head. “What? You don’t want me telling anyone?”
Fuck, I’m going to burst if I have to keep this to myself for long.
“Not yet,” she admits. “Let’s wait a bit first.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Maybe I want to keep it just between us right now.”
“Do your parents know?”
“No, but Autumn does,” she admits.
“But you don’t want me to tell anyone?” I’m a little offended.
“She’s the only one who knows, besides you and me. She ran out on Thanksgiving night and bought me the pregnancy tests,” Ava explains. “My sister has been a huge help to me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.”
“I get it, yeah.” I nod, not wanting to upset the mother of my unborn child.
Need to keep my girl and our baby healthy.
“I’m scared to tell my parents about the baby,” she admits, her voice the barest whisper. “What if they get…mad?”
“They won’t,” I reassure her. I can’t imagine them being anything but happy.
Well, maybe they won’t be happy I’m the one who got their daughter pregnant.
“Didn’t they have Autumn really young?” I ask.
Ava nods. “Doesn’t mean they’ll like it. They always want more for us. They tell us that a lot. And what am I going to do about school? I just signed a lease and I’m leaving for San Diego right after New Year’s.”
My heart drops at her admission. “What?”
“That was always my plan,” she admits, her voice small. “I thought it was best to go back to school.”
“You can’t leave,” I say fiercely, telling myself I won’t get mad. Though I can’t believe she made plans to go back to San Diego, it’s not surprising. I’m sure that was always the plan, just as she said. “I want you to stay here with me, Ava. I want to take care of you. And our baby.”
She gazes at me, her expression soft and open. All I want to do is hug and kiss her, but she wants me to listen to her right now, so I restrain myself. “We really, really need to talk everything through.”
“We will,” I say, slipping my fingers around her chin and tilting her head back, so I can kiss her. My mouth lingers on hers as I kiss her once. Twice. Three times. Trying to pour all of my love for her into this simple connection of our lips. “Let me eat breakfast first, though. Daddy’s hungry.”
Ava cracks up, pulling away from me. “Okay, that was a little gross.”
“You liked it.” I smile at her.
She smiles back.
Yeah.
She liked it.
Thirty-One
Ava
After I watch Eli eat—I only munched on his sourdough toast, which caused him to order more toast for himself—we head back to his apartment to talk. God, I was so scared to tell him about the baby, but he responded really well.
In fact, I can tell he’s excited, which I didn’t expect.
I don’t know what I expected from Eli. That’s the best and worst thing about him. His impulsiveness, never knowing how he’s going to respond to…whatever.
Last night after I took the pregnancy test and saw the almost immediate results, I told Autumn it had to be false. So I drank a bunch of water and took another one.
Positive. Again.
The look my sister sent me practically dared me to deny it.
I’m really good at denial though. It’s like my brain couldn’t compute it. Pregnant? Me?
Impossible.
Luckily enough, she bought three tests, so I drank even more water and two hours later, I took the final test.
Still positive.
I cried. Autumn held me and said soothing words while I sobbed all over the front of her pretty dress, always careful not to get snot on it. I felt weak and stupid for getting pregnant. Really, really stupid. I’m only twenty. I should’ve known better. I was on birth control and let it lapse like a dumbass and then like an even bigger dumbass, I let my ex-boyfriend—which is what he still is if we’re keeping things real—come inside me.
Multiple times.
It’s like I forgot. We’ve gone for years without condoms and I was totally used to not using them. He was too. We just fell back into old habits and while it was amazing as always, the sex resulted in me getting pregnant.
Pregnant.
&
nbsp; I’m going to have a baby.
Eli’s baby.
Wow.
Still in a little shock over the whole thing.
Pretty sure I know when it happened—the night we went back to his place after his mom was in the car wreck. When he woke me in the middle of the night and we ended up having sex. It had been downright magical.
Magical enough to make a baby? Maybe.
A shiver steals through me at the thought.
When we walk into the apartment, of course Caleb is there kicking it on the couch playing video games, and he sits up straight when he spots me, his blue eyes wide as he hits pause on the controller before greeting me. “Ava. Long time, no see.”
“Hey, Caleb.” I wave at him, feeling awkward.
His gaze goes from Eli to me, and then back to Eli again, a little frown on his face. “You two good now?”
“We’re fucking great.” Eli snags my hand and I send him a look.
One that says, don’t you dare open your mouth further.
He goes silent, his lips curled in a mysterious smile.
Caleb frowns. A silent Eli isn’t normal, and he knows it.
“That’s great,” Caleb finally says, his gaze settling on me. “Gracie will be glad to hear this.”
“Uh huh.” My response is noncommittal because I don’t know what’s going to happen after this discussion, and I can only imagine what Caleb will tell Gracie.
Honestly? I refuse to get my hopes up. Every time I think we’re good, Eli goes and does something to prove we are absolutely not good at all. I’m tired of it. I need stability, now more than ever. I need confirmation that he’ll love me no matter what. I need him to be responsible, to support me and our unborn baby.
More than anything, I need to know he’s going to step up and be a good father. A solid boyfriend. A man who’s going to stand by my side and not be so damn selfish all the time.
He’s got it in him. I know he does. He just needs to grow up a little more first. Maybe having a baby will help make that happen.
“Come on,” he says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I wave at Caleb and follow Eli into his room, settling on the chair at his desk as he shuts and locks the door.
“Don’t want him to just barge in,” Eli says as he turns to face me. “Caleb’s been known to do that.”
Right. “I’m not having sex with you, Eli.”
“What? I don’t expect you to have sex with me.” He almost looks offended. “I know you want to talk.”
“I do.”
“Let’s talk then.” He settles on the corner of his bed, facing me. His legs spread wide, feet planted firmly on the floor, his chest and shoulders looking extra broad in that black hoodie he’s wearing. He looks good.
When does he not?
I exhale loudly and settle my hands on my knees. “Okay. By my calculations, I think the baby is due in early July. Though I need confirmation from a doctor, I guess.”
He grins. “A 4th of July baby?”
I wish he wouldn’t smile. It’s so distracting.
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m thinking I could probably go to school for the spring semester and then take a leave of absence. Once I’m moved in, I’ll find a doctor down in San Diego, though I plan on having the baby here. I’ll come home when school’s done, and deliver the baby in the summer. It’ll work out perfect.” Eli is shaking his head, his expression full of annoyance. “What?”
“I don’t want you going to San Diego for the spring semester.”
He says it with such finality I can feel my irritation rising. “Why not? I need to go to school, and I’ll be out by May. At least six weeks before the baby is due. Then I come home and have the baby here. The timing is perfect.”
“Yeah, no. I don’t think so. That’s not gonna work.”
“Why the hell not?” I snap.
“What about me?” He taps his chest. “Where do I fit into your plan?”
“What about you?” I retort. “I’m the one who’s carrying the baby for the next eight months or so. Delivering the baby. You’re not too involved except at the beginning.”
Okay, that was a little mean, but he’s being so bossy.
Truth? I want to give in to him. I’d rather put school on hold and revel in being pregnant. Enjoying the time with Eli while we prepare for our future.
But is that what he wants? Can he step up and take care of me?
Can he handle the pressure?
“I take offense to that.” He crosses his arms. “I want to be involved in all of this. Every little thing. That’s my baby inside of you. Don’t forget.”
As if I could.
“How’s that going to work? You’re here.” I wave my hand, indicating the room. “And I’m going to be down there for school.”
We’re quiet for a moment, my words hanging between us and I cross my arms too, feeling a little defensive.
I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. I don’t really want to go to San Diego and be alone, going to school while I’m pregnant with my first child. Even my mom would tell me that’s a ridiculous idea. My dad would probably stop me from leaving. Autumn would do her best to talk me out of it. They all would.
If Eli made me the right offer, said the right things, I’d agree to chuck the San Diego plan forever and stay with him.
“Is that what you really want to do?” he asks with a sigh.
No, I want to say. No, I want to stay here and I want to make a little family with you. That’s what I really want. I don’t care about anything else. Just you and our baby growing inside of me.
Like a chicken shit, I don’t say any of that. I need to be real with him and tell him how I feel. How important he is to me, despite everything that’s happened between us.
I know we can make this work. We have before. We did for years.
We can make it work again.
Parting my lips, I start, “It’s a smart pla—”
“Because it’s not what I want,” he interrupts. “I can’t stand the thought of you being pregnant, and like, hundreds of miles away from me. What if something happens to you, Ava? What if you need me? It’ll take me hours to get to you, and I’d probably lose my mind in the meantime. I can’t do it. I won’t.”
I drop my arms at my sides. “What do you want to do, then?”
Eli does the craziest thing.
He falls on his knees and crawls over to me, grabbing my right hand and holding it in both of his. “I love you, Ava Elizabeth Callahan. I love you more than life itself. And I love that you’re going to have my baby. That we’re going to be parents.”
I stare at him, swallowing hard. I’m speechless.
“I’ve made some mistakes. Big ones. I was a selfish asshole and ain’t gonna lie, I’m probably still a selfish asshole, but I’m going to work on it—for you. For our baby. For us, and the family we’re going to become. I’m sorry that I keep fucking up and hurting you, but you need to know just one thing This asshole loves you with all his heart.” He pauses for the smallest moment. “I want you to marry me.”
I gasp. “Eli—”
“Hear me out,” he says, squeezing my hand in between both of his. “It makes sense, us getting married. I know we’re young, but we’re in love and I’m on my way to possible stardom in the NFL. I don’t want to make you give up your dreams of completing college, but what if you put it on pause for a little while? We can get married and move in together. By the time the baby’s born, we’ll know if I get drafted or not, and we can move wherever we need to go. Just you and me and baby Bennett. It’ll be great. I can take care of you. Give you whatever you need, and our baby too. Watch out, Patrick Mahomes and your cute little girl and baby mama. We’ll break the internet with our cute as shit baby and put them to shame.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“Come on, babe.” His hazel eyes glow as he contemplates me, on his knees for me, his expression so serious. No smile. No cocky Eli in sight. Just a man asking for my hand in ma
rriage—literally. “I love you so damn much. I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve made. I never meant to hurt you, and I’m bound to make more mistakes. You know I’m not perfect.”
“I’m not perfect either,” I murmur.
“But we’re perfect together.” He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “We don’t make sense when we’re apart, Ava. It hurt my heart so fuckin’ bad, not having you in my life for those months. Not being able to talk to you. Look at you. Be with you in every way I can.”
His voice lowers with the last sentence, making my skin warm.
“Marry me. Be my wife. Let me take care of you, Princess. Make me the happiest man in the world and say yes.”
I can’t help but waver. We haven’t talked enough yet about our situation. There are so many things I still need to say. Things I want to ensure. I want him to promise he’ll put the baby first. And me first too. It can’t always be about himself anymore. There are other things to consider. Other people involved now. It’s not just about him.
It’s never going to be just about him again.
But I can’t resist this man. I love him. Deep down, he knows it.
He’s got me.
“Eli…”
“Just say yes.” He pauses. “Please.”
This is a man who never says please for anything.
Except for me.
“Yes,” I whisper.
The smile that curls his lips is blinding. Beautiful. He tugs on my hand as he rises up on his knees, his mouth finding mine in a sweet kiss. “I’m going to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I love you, Ava,” he murmurs against my lips. “And that I love my baby growing inside you, too. I’m going to do right by you and the baby. Just you watch.”
I believe him.
I do.
Thirty-Two
Eli
Ava wraps her arms around my neck, and I deepen the kiss for a moment before I pull away, so I can stare into her beautiful eyes. “We’re really going to do this?”
She nods slowly, shifting so she can trace my left eyebrow with her finger. “Yes. We are.”
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant,” I whisper, my gaze eating her up. This woman—she is my everything. I need to tell her that more often. I used to all the time, when we were younger and first falling in love.
The Senior (College Years Book 4) Page 26