Emma squeals. "Oh my God, this is… oh my God. They're all so hot. I can't even. What am I going to say?"
"Fuck me please." I laugh.
"No, they're all taken." She pouts. "What would possess a smoking hot rock god to settle down?"
"The right woman," Brendon offers.
That shakes her out of her starstruck daze. She turns back to Brendon. Examines his expression. "You have a secret girlfriend I should know about?"
He shoots her a really look.
She returns it.
Uh uh. My night is not heading down this path. Not when everything is perfect.
This is my chance to be happy before everything goes to shit tomorrow.
I'm not losing that.
I move toward clipboard guy. "Excuse me. Um. I'm Kaylee Hart and this is my friend Brendon Kane. We're on the list."
He looks to Em. "And you, sweetheart?"
"Emma Kane." Her smile is equally parts sexy and sweet.
He glances at the clipboard. "Looks like you are." He moves aside from the door. "Head in. But stay out of the way."
I nod as I step through the door. "Thank you."
Emma and Brendon follow.
We're actually backstage.
It's a lot more crowded than I'd expect. There are roadies and other crew type people milling around.
And there's the opening band's dressing room on our right.
And just beyond it, a sign taped to a door reads Dangerous Noise.
Emma squeezes my hand. "That's it." She skips forward.
I follow her into the room.
Oh my God.
That's actually Joel Young, Brendon's supposed client.
And he's actually looking at Brendon like he recognizes him.
And at me like he—
He has this knowing smile. This mischief in his green eyes. Like Brendon did fill him in on all sorts of dirty details about me.
"Didn't think you'd show." He moves forward. Nods hello to Brendon then looks to me and Emma. "I'm Joel."
"I know." My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
Emma nods.
"You must be Kaylee," he says.
"Yeah." It's all I can say. He knows my name. A famous rock star knows my name.
"I dig the glasses." He holds up his left hand and wiggles his adorned ring finger. "If only you'd found me before Bella did."
"Huh." I giggle. If only I'd met him before he was married, then he would have slept with me.
With the way he's smiling in Brendon's direction, I'm pretty sure this is for my not exactly a boyfriend's benefit.
But still...
A rock star is flirting with me.
"This is Emma." I nod to my best friend. "She's a big fan. We both are."
"Thanks." He offers me a hug.
I take it.
I'm hugging Joel Young.
This is so weird.
Then he's hugging Emma.
He opens his arms to Brendon. Chuckles when Brendon shakes his head. "It's been what, six years now? Still can't get any affection from the guy. Must be hard living with a brother like that."
"You have no idea," Emma says.
"Nah, I do. My older sister is a tough cookie. And she's a shrink. Count your blessings," he says.
Emma laughs.
"He doesn't talk much, does he?" Joel asks.
Emma shakes her head. "Not usually."
"So sometimes?" Joel cocks a brow. "Go on. But only if it gets juicy."
"There's someone he talks about a lot." Emma presses her lips together. "A girl."
A voice echoes through the room. "Five minutes."
"Damn." Joel shakes his head. "They really gotta warn us about this shit. Pretty sure Ethan is still fingering Vi off some place."
"Oh... Uh..." My mouth gets sticky. How can he be so casual with that information? It's just... Umm... Uh...
"It was nice to meet you, Kaylee. Emma." He winks. "Give your brother a hard time, for me."
She laughs. "Will do."
The three of us make our way back to the main room. We cut through the crowd just in time for the lights to go down and the band to step on stage.
Emma and I get lost in the music for the entire set. Even Brendon seems to enjoy it.
Everything is perfect.
Until we're on our way out.
And Emma is dragging me into the bathroom. "Come on, Kay. We need to talk."
Chapter Forty-One
Kaylee
Emma goes straight to the sink. She sets her purse on the counter and digs through it until she finds her lipstick.
I lean against the wall. Watch her add another coat of red. Try to wipe the guilt from my eyes.
It's not working.
I find the lipstick in my purse and apply another coat. But my hands are shaking. The line is messy. Like it was after I was making out with her brother.
"So..." She zips her purse and taps her fingers against it.
"So...?"
Her chest heaves with her sigh.
I keep my lips pressed together.
I can't say anything.
She can't know.
It's just not an option.
"Whatever is happening, you can tell me." She turns toward me. "I won't be mad."
I don't believe that. I force my lips into a smile. "Nothing is happening."
"You... you and Brendon are being weird. And your lipstick was smudged in the car."
"I had a snack at Inked Hearts."
"Nobody snacks at Inked Hearts."
"In the lobby."
She shakes her head. "What is it, Kay? Why don't you want to tell me?"
"It's nothing." Shakiness seeps into my voice. I want it to be nothing. Or at least nothing important. But it's huge.
"It's something." She presses her ass against the counter. Folds her arms. Frustration creeps into her eyes.
It's hurting her that I'm keeping a secret.
This is my chance.
I can confess everything.
Or I can double down on the lie.
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly.
Her dark eyes stay fixed on mine.
"I... uh... Brendon... uh. Brendon caught me and Dean." Guilt nags at my throat. It takes everything I have to keep my expression neutral.
"Oh." Emma tilts her head, turning over the so called admission.
"Yeah." I dig into my lie. "We were just kissing, but he got pissed."
"What did he say?"
"Dean's a whore. I can do better. That kind of thing."
"Did he threaten to kill Dean?"
"More or less." Or a lot less.
Emma's eyes bore into mine. "Really?"
I barely nod.
"Look me in the eyes, Kay."
"Why?" My gaze goes right to my shoes. They're grey. Canvas and rubber. Comfortable. Perfect for a concert.
"Kay."
"What?" I force myself to stare back into Emma's dark eyes. They're lighter than Brendon's. Wider. But still a lot like his.
"Tell me the truth. Whatever it is."
"I..." My voice cracks. The words claw at my gut. They make it all the way up my throat, but I stop them with a swallow.
"You..."
"I..."
"Are you fucking my brother?"
"Em..."
Her eyes go wide. She shakes her head. "Kaylee, what the fuck?"
"It's not like that."
"You had sex with my brother."
"Yeah, but—"
"He was the one at karaoke?"
I nod.
"And the one... oh God, he was offering to, ew..." Her nose scrunches. Her eyes fill with disgust.
All the details I've spilled have been about her brother.
And her best friend is a liar.
Of course she's disgusted.
I...
"I'm sorry." I don't know what else to say.
"You and Brendon..." Emma shakes her head. "How long have you—"
"A long time."
"And he?"
"I don't know. A long time too."
"And everyone else knows?"
"I didn't tell them."
Emma steps away. "So, what, you don't trust me?"
"No, Em. I thought you'd freak."
"You. Don't. Trust. Me."
"I'm sorry. But I... I love him."
She shakes her head. "No. You do not love my brother."
"Yeah, I do."
"He's fucking ancient!"
"But he... he's a good person. You know he is."
"No." She grabs her purse and moves toward the exit. "I know that he's a liar. That you're both liars."
"Em. Please."
She shakes her head. "Don't talk to me."
"Em—"
The door swings shut behind her.
Chapter Forty-Two
Brendon
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Emma grabs my arm and pulls me from the theater entrance.
"Where's Kay?"
Her eyes narrow. "Is that the only thing you care about?"
"What are you—"
"What am I? You're fucking my best friend."
"Em—"
"Don't. I don't want to hear it. You're supposed to be the guy who keeps shit like this from happening."
She's right. It's completely fucked, me and Kaylee.
"I'm so stupid. You two have been hanging out all this time. And I just... I actually believed that you care about her. That you want the best for her."
"I do."
"She's eight years younger than you. What the fuck would you do if it was me and Dean?" She folds her arms. "She trusts you, Brendon. She trusts you like family. And you used that to fuck her."
"I care about her."
"If you cared about her, you'd keep your fly zipped." She moves to the street. "Don't wait up."
"Where the hell are you going?"
"None of your business. I'm eighteen. I'm an adult. Those are clearly your standards. I don't need to tell you shit." She turns and runs toward the Hollywood and Highland center.
She's pissed.
She needs to cool off.
But I'm not going to let my sister do something stupid.
I run after her.
She's gone.
I check every club on Highland.
I check every store at the strip mall.
I call every one of Emma's friends.
And, still, I keep looking. Find another store. Another bar. Another shady fucking alley.
I don't stop until my phone is buzzing.
It's a text from Walker.
Walker: Emma's at my place. She's gonna stay here.
Brendon: She okay?
Walker: No. But she will be. Is Kay okay?
Brendon: I don't know.
Walker: Fuck. You better figure that out.
Brendon: Take care of Em, okay.
Walker: Good luck.
I slide my phone into my pocket and make my way back to the venue.
But it's already closed. Lights off. Everybody—even the crew—is gone.
I call Kaylee.
Voicemail.
Again.
Voicemail.
Again.
Nothing.
I shoot her a text.
Brendon: Where are you?
Nothing.
Chapter Forty-Three
Brendon
The house is dark.
The only sound is coming from upstairs. From Kaylee's bedroom.
She's crying.
Fuck, I've never been this happy to hear someone crying.
I nearly run up the stairs.
Nearly break her door pushing it open.
She's curled up in her bed in the dark.
Hugging her knees.
Blinking back another set of tears.
"Kay." I sit next to her. Rub her shoulder with my palm. I need to fix this. Somehow.
"I'm sorry." She pulls her knees into her chest. "She asked. And I wanted to lie, but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything. I just stared."
This is my fault. This whole fucking thing is my fault.
Em is right.
I'm the adult here.
I'm the person who is supposed to protect Kaylee.
If there was some other twenty-six-year-old guy trying to get in her pants, I'd kick his ass.
"It's not your fault." I run my fingers through her hair. "This has been inevitable."
She nods. "Still."
"No, Kay. This is on me."
She shakes her head. "I didn't have to make up that stuff about Dean. I... I'm sorry. I made everything complicated. And you... you don't want complicated."
"Come here."
She pushes herself up and buries her head in my chest. "She's never going to talk to me again."
"She'll get over it."
Kaylee shakes her head. "No. She looked so betrayed. I've never seen that before."
"She will. I promise."
"No. I'm going to leave tomorrow, and everything is going to be fucked, and I'm going to come back here and everything will still be fucked." Kay clutches at my arms. She holds me tighter. Pulls me closer. "I'm sorry. I..."
"It's not your fault."
Again, she shakes her head.
She's not going to get it.
Not like this.
She needs someone to walk her through this.
To occupy all her thoughts.
Or maybe that's my cock talking.
I run my fingers through her hair.
I hold her body against mine until she stops shaking.
Is this for me or her?
I'm not sure.
She has me so fucked up.
I don't know up or down anymore.
I certainly don't know right or wrong.
"You want to feel better, Kay?"
She looks up at me with all that trust in her eyes. "Yeah, but I don't see—"
"You want out of your head or not?"
"I do."
"You trust me?"
"Of course."
"Then go to my room."
Understanding fills her eyes. "You mean—"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Well. Um. Yeah. Okay." She pushes herself to her feet. "Okay. Is Em okay?"
"She's staying with Walker."
"Okay. Good. I, uh... Okay. Do we need a safeword or something?"
It never hurts. "You have something in mind?"
"Tattoo."
Fuck, it's like she's trying to be adorable.
How the hell am I supposed to give her up?
I nod. "Tattoo."
"Okay." Her voice is halfway back to normal. Her posture too.
She's slow about moving into the hallway.
Then into my room.
The door shuts.
She's waiting in there.
For me to hurt her.
But not the way she thinks I'm going to.
Chapter Forty-Four
Kaylee
Emma is never going to forgive you.
It's the only thought in my brain.
No matter how hard I try to focus on Brendon's smooth sheets, or the way his scent is lingering in the bed, or the mirror I can use to watch him fuck me, or even that he's about to come in here and—
I don't know what he's going to do.
Only that I trust him to steal all my other thoughts away.
Emma is never going to forgive you.
Thoughts of my wrists tied to this bed, of his palm on my ass, of his hand around my throat—
Nothing can stop that angry voice in my head.
This is your fault.
You ruined everything.
You begged him for this.
He said it couldn't happen and you begged him.
You're ruining his relationship with his sister.
With the only family he has left.
You really think he'll forgive you for that?
That either one of them will?
Grandma is gonna die and Mom is gonna find out about this. And then you'll have nothing. You'll come back to LA and you'll be alone.
He steps through the door.
He's still in the same outfit. Skinny jeans. A t-shirt. Bare feet.
He has the same dark hair and dark eyes.
The same sleeve tattoo.
But he's different than the Brendon of a few minutes ago.
He's demanding. In control.
And that look in his eyes, the one that screams you're mine and I'll do whatever I want with you—
It sucks up all my attention.
It's exactly what I need.
His eyes fix on me. "You wore that skirt to drive me out of my fucking mind."
It's a minor infraction compared to everything else I've done, but it's enough.
"Answer me."
"Yes."
"You knew I couldn't touch you in front of Em."
Her name is a dagger to my chest. I push up the walls around my heart. Something, anything, to stop that guilt from flooding my body.
"Kaylee. Answer me." His voice is stern. It's a promise. An answer me or you'll regret it.
"Yes."
He takes a seat on the bed next to me. His hand rests on my thigh. It doesn't stroke or tease. It just sits there. "What did you want to happen?"
"I don't know."
"You do."
I shake my head. I really don't.
"Did you want me to fuck you?"
"Yes?"
"To drag you to the alley and split you in half?"
"Yes."
"What else?"
"I don't know. I just want you. It's all I can think sometimes."
"How?"
"Huh?"
His hand knots in my hair. He turns me so we're eye to eye. "Tell me how you wanted me. You were staring at me all night. You were thinking about me."
"I was."
"How?"
"About you bending me over the counter. Or the chair. Or ordering me onto my knees."
"And coming on those pretty, pink lips?"
"Yes."
"You like to tease me, angel?"
"Yes."
"You have to pay for that."
I nod. Yes. Please. I need to pay for... for everything.
He presses his palm against the back of my head to guide my body over his. So I'm bent over his knee, my stomach against his thighs, my face against the bed, my ass in the air.
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