Right now, there's no doubt in my mind that the four of them belong here. There's no doubt that the frost between Joel and Mal will fade. There's no doubt that they'll go on to record platinum albums and win Grammys.
After Mal and Ethan take turns teasing the headliners, the lights go down, the crowd screams, and Ethan goes straight to me.
His strong arms envelop me. His heart is beating so hard I can feel it against my chest. This is what he wants, everything he's ever wanted.
Can I really ask him to give up any of it?
My thoughts evaporate as he presses his lips to mine.
When the kiss breaks, he looks into my eyes. "Stick around. I have a surprise for you after the show."
"Oh yeah?"
He nods. "You'll love it." He kisses me again. It's hungrier this time. "It will be a while."
"That's okay." I brush a strand of dark hair from his gorgeous blue eyes. "Go tend to your fans."
"You can come with."
I shake my head. "I don't need to incite the rage of the jealous fangirls who want you to themselves."
He cocks a brow. "You wouldn't defend my honor?"
"What honor?"
He laughs. "Vi, I…" His eyes go to the floor, then they're on mine. "I'm glad you're here." He pulls me into another tight embrace. "Now stay here. Or at least stay around."
"I will."
I kiss him goodbye then watch as a dozen people stop to offer congrats or support. Sinful Serenade is halfway through their set when Ethan finally clears backstage.
After their show—they're as amazing as always—I hang out with Joel, then Kit, then Mal. They take turns chatting with fans, entertaining me, and avoiding each other.
It's well past midnight when Ethan scoops me into his arms. "Come on." He nods goodbye to Mal and leads me out to the stage.
The room is cleared out except for staff. The stage is empty except for the mic stand, a few amps, and a guitar. Not just any guitar but Ethan's guitar.
His blue eyes light up. "You want to be a rock star?"
I shake my head, but my feet have other ideas. I walk straight to the mic stand and look out at the empty auditorium. The place looked massive from backstage but this goes beyond massive.
This is insane.
How does he play when the room is packed? I can barely manage to stare at the empty seats without trembling.
Ethan slings his guitar over his shoulder. He motions to someone in the sound booth. His lips curl into a smile. "I know you know this one."
The lights go on. They're shades of blue and purple and there's a spotlight on me.
Familiar notes fill the room as Ethan strums his guitar. He's playing the intro to my favorite song, I'm Only Happy When it Rains, by Garbage.
His eyes meet mine as he starts the first verse.
Oh God, he wants me to sing it.
I shake my head. I can't sing on stage. I don't care that the venue is almost empty. The mic is still hooked up to the amp. Someone is going to hear me.
Ethan laughs as he starts the song over. He moves up to the backing vocals mic. "Vi, I've got all night."
"Doesn't New York City have quiet hours?"
"Volume is turned down low enough nobody outside can hear." His eyes light up as he smiles. "If you don't play rock star now, I'm gonna have to drag you on stage at our next show."
That sounds mortifying.
He raises a brow as he restarts the intro. All the joy in his expression flows into me.
I close my eyes as I let out the first line. Nerves rise up in my chest then settle. My voice gets louder. I pour my feelings into my performance.
This song deserves everything I've got.
By the second verse, I have my eyes open. I stare out at the empty seats with as much confidence as I can muster. I shift my hips, wrap my hands around the mic, and sing like I'm a fucking rock star.
When the song fades into the outro, Ethan looks at me. He speaks into the mic. "Crowd is demanding an encore after that." He cocks a brow. You game?
I nod. I am. This is fun.
He plays another Garbage song, I Think I'm Paranoid. I relax enough to sing every word with passion. Then he's playing another one of my favorite songs. Another. Another.
He plays and I sing until the stage manager, Jim, is motioning for us to cut the lights.
Ethan holds up his guitar and bows to the non-existent crowd. "Show's got to end sometime." He throws his guitar pic into the stands then he pulls another from his pocket and presses it into my palm. "You make a good rock star."
"No, I don't." I intertwine my fingers with his. "But it's fun pretending."
The next day, I show Ethan around all my favorite touristy landmarks—the mecca of commercialism that is Times Square, the tranquil sanctuary of Central Park, the gorgeous views from the Empire State Building—then I move on to secluded spots—the Strand bookstore, real New York bagels, the view from the top of the NYU student center.
In his heavy coat and a Yankees cap, Ethan blends in enough he isn't recognized. It's a rainy, grey day, but my heart is floating on blue skies and sunshine. Everything, even getting caught in the pouring rain on our way back to the subway (I'm too stubborn to take a cab), is fun with Ethan.
Life is fun when he's around.
I'm alive when he's around.
The four-block walk from the subway to my apartment is cold and windy, but with his arm around my waist and his smile lighting up my heart, I don't feel the chill.
My hands are wet. I fumble over my keys. Ah, there.
I look back to Ethan as I press the key between my palms. "We haven't talked about what happens tomorrow."
"Something you want to say?"
I nod. "Stay here with me. Until your next show."
"The show is Monday. You sure you want me here all weekend?"
I nod. "I need you here all weekend." I press my forehead to his. "Promise you'll stay."
His voice is sweet, earnest. "You need me here?"
"Yes."
"Then I promise I'll be here." He presses his lips to mine.
I sigh as I pull back. Ethan will be here, in my apartment, all weekend. We have a whole weekend to explore New York City and to christen my bed as ours.
This is good.
No, this is great.
I turn the lock, open the door for Ethan, and step inside.
Athena is sitting in our tiny living room on the couch. Her long hair is in a ponytail. She's wearing makeup—something she never does when she's home alone.
She takes us in with a knowing look. "You were right. He is hotter in person. Especially as a Yankees fan."
Ethan laughs as he takes his baseball cap off. "Afraid I prefer the Angels."
"That's okay. Different leagues. Besides, we could kick your ass any day of the week."
"Those are fighting words," he says.
"Bring it on." She holds up her hands as fists in a playful let's go stance. "I'm not a guitarist. I don't have to worry about my hands." She winks at me. "Though, I guess Violet worries about your hands too so—"
"Oh God." My cheeks turn red. I hide behind my hands for a moment then I collect my senses. "Athena, this is Ethan. Ethan, this is Athena. She lives right there." I point to her door. "She goes to NYU too, but undergrad."
They shake hands and exchange hellos.
She turns to me. Her voice shifts to that tone that means she's up to something. "You know, Violet, it's rude to ignore your best friend." Athena looks to Ethan with approval. "I understand your reasons, but I can't excuse them. I just want you to know that you earned the embarrassment you're about to receive."
Oh God.
Ethan's eyes light up. "Did she?"
"Oh, she did." Athena leans against the wall. Her eyes meet Ethan's. "The first time we talked about you, it was because I caught sight of Violet's 'Dangerous Noise' Google alert. I was gushing about how hot your lead singer is—"
Ethan laughs. "We get that a lot."
"The way he sing
s all breathy and groaning. It's—" She fans herself. "I know he's your brother, but you must realize it."
Again, Ethan laughs.
"Violet let me go on and on. She sat there nodding, until she blurted out that the two of you used to date."
Ethan laughs. "Did she?"
"Turns out, she also has a Google alert just for you."
Ethan looks at me. He raises a brow to say is this true?
I keep my lips zipped. It's bad enough my cheeks are burning.
"I had to talk her down a few times after she saw you photographed with a lingerie model." Athena laughs. "She was so jealous I thought she'd turn green."
"You were jealous?" Ethan's voice is earnest.
I clear my throat. "Well, it's only natural—"
"Don't play dumb. You probably hoped she'd get jealous. Didn't you?" Athena folds her arms.
"Did you?" I ask.
"Honestly, Vi, I assumed you were over me."
"Really?" I ask.
He nods.
"I wasn't," I say.
"You should have seen the way she tried to tell herself she liked that Denny guy." Athena shakes her head. "He was more boring than plain toast."
"Oh yeah?" Ethan asks.
"Yeah, total white bread, no butter, nothing," Athena says.
"He was nice." I fold my arms. That's really all he was.
"She could have done better you know." Athena looks at Ethan. "Whenever we go out, Violet has to turn down at least a dozen guys. They love that hot goth chick who won't take your shit thing."
"I'm sure you do alright on that front," Ethan says.
"Alright?" Athena looks to me and winks. "He better be as good in bed as you say he is to treat your friends this way."
"Oh God." Hiding behind my hands does nothing to help me here.
Ethan smiles.
My break from mockery is short lived. Athena blows me a kiss and goes right back to embarrassing me.
"Once, she scribbled out a model's face on a tabloid page. It was really tacky." Athena mouths I love you to me.
My blush spreads to my chest. I have to hide behind my hands. "I got that magazine at the dentist."
"That doesn't make it right," she says.
"I hate you," I mutter.
"I hate you too." She moves in for a hug and squeezes tight. Her voice drops to a whisper. "You really okay with him here?"
"Yeah."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
She pulls back and shoots Ethan a knowing smile. "I'll get out of your hair for a few hours. This project is kicking my ass. I'll concentrate better at the library." She packs her laptop in her messenger back and steps into her boots.
"Thanks," Ethan says. "Owe you one."
"You could send us tickets to a show. Your band is just okay, but Sinful Serenade is fucking awesome. And their drummer is so…" Athena fans her face.
"You know he's got a cock piercing," Ethan says.
Her eyes bug out of her face. "I thought that was just a rumor."
"Rumor's true," Ethan says.
Athena blushes.
Ah, at least she's suffering embarrassment too.
"Damn." She winks at me then looks at Ethan. "Drummers are the hottest."
He laughs. "Are they?"
"Oh yeah. But guitarists aren't bad either. And Violet speaks very highly of your skill with your hands," she says.
Ethan looks to me and smiles.
I'm blushing so hard my entire body is burning.
She pulls him into a close hug and whispers something I can't hear. He whispers back.
Athena nods goodbye as she steps out the door. "Be good or be discreet!"
"You too."
The door slams shut behind her. It's one of those doors that always slams.
Ethan gives me a long once over. "We have a few hours."
"We do."
"You want to eat first?"
"No."
He smiles. "Me either."
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ethan
The tiny bedroom is pure Violet. Black bedspread and sheets, glittery rose decals on the walls, stacks of sci-fi DVDs piled high on her dresser.
Four math posters hang over her desk. One has a triangle with a hippo lying on the hypotenuse. Another has a pi symbol telling the square root of negative one to get real. Honestly, I'd have no idea what it meant if didn't own a t-shirt with the same design.
She catches me looking at her posters and blushes. "I'm still a math geek."
"I love that you're a math geek." I love that she has a place where she can be herself.
I love that she's inviting me into it.
It's difficult to resist pinning her to the wall immediately. I do it for long enough Violet can explain the jokes on her other math posters and show off her sci-fi collection.
I unbutton her coat and slide it over her shoulders. She does the same to me. Her lips find mine.
I kiss her with every ounce of hunger in my body. Being in her room is making me dizzy. It's a good dizzy. A this is intimate enough to last forever dizzy.
She digs her fingers into my hair as she moans into my mouth. Violet has always been a hell of a kisser, but she's more passionate now. She's giving more of herself.
I scoop her into my arms and lay her on the bed. Her groans vibrate down my throat. She rocks her hips against mine.
I peel off her boots, her jeans, her socks. I drag my hands up her calves and over the smooth skin of her thighs.
Her eyes get heavy with lust. "Ethan." She pulls me into a deep kiss. "You need to be naked now."
"You first."
She pulls her sweater over her head. There's Violet, lying on her bed with only a thin white tanktop covering her black bra and panties. Her breath is heavy enough to compete with the rain pounding the concrete outside.
There isn't a hint of apprehension in her eyes. Violet doesn't just trust me with her body. She trusts me with her heart too.
I lose track of my thoughts as she does away with her tank top. Slowly, she unhooks her bra and slides it off her shoulders. Slowly, she pushes her panties off her hips.
They land on the floor.
She's inviting me into her bed and into her life.
Her voice is heavy, breathy. "You're supposed to be getting naked."
Can't argue with that.
I take in every soft, curvy inch of her body as I strip to my boxers. Her expression gets needy as I climb into bed next to her. She runs her fingers through my hair.
Her lips meet mine. She kisses hard, sucking on my lips then my tongue.
I go to pull her closer but my hand hits something hard. Not hard exactly, but certainly harder than her skin. The feel of it is familiar. The shape too.
"You still have this?" I pull her rabbit-style vibrator from under the covers.
Violet turns every shade of red. "It still works."
I hold the power button until the device starts buzzing. "So it does."
She hides behind her hands.
I peel one hand off her face. Then the other. I use my free hand to hold her wrists over her head.
Her back arches. A sigh of pleasure falls off her lips. "Ethan…"
"You ever come until you pass out?"
She shakes her head.
"You want to?"
"You're going to kill me."
"I'll play I'm Only Happy When it Rains at your funeral."
"You'll have me forever if you play that song for me in public." She looks up at me through heavy lids. "You aren't naked yet."
"Help me with that." I loosen my grip on her wrists.
She traces the lines of the locked heart tattoo on my chest. Slowly, she rakes her hands down my torso and slides my boxers off my hips.
Her arms go right back over my head. Her wrists go right to my palm.
She wants to give herself to me.
She wants to be mine.
I plant a hard, deep kiss on her lips as I press the vibrator to
her clit. She groans as she kisses back. I can feel her need pouring into me, my need pouring into her.
This is where we're supposed to be, with each other.
I tease her until she's squirming. Her lips stay glued to mine. Her arms stay above her head.
Slowly, I slide the device inside her. When the rabbit ears hit her clit, she bites my bottom lip.
She breaks free of our kiss to groan. "Ethan." Pleasure spills over her face. Her nipples tighten. Her skin flushes.
I fuck her with the toy. Slowly at first. Then faster. Harder. Deeper. She writhes. Her toes squeeze the sheets. Her nails dig into her palms.
Her breath catches in her throat. I lean down to suck on her nipple. Then she's there, groaning my name as she comes on the toy. I look up to watch her eyes roll back in her head.
Violet lost in pleasure is the best thing I've ever seen.
She pulls her arms to her sides and plants her hands next to my shoulders. "You have to come too." She drags her lips over my chest. "You have to come in my mouth."
"Vi…"
"Don't stop." She drags her lips down my torso. Her hips stay in place, but they turn as she guides herself into position.
My fingers brush against her as I fuck her with the toy. I've fucked a woman while she was sucking off another guy, and I've been sucked off while another guy was fucking a woman, but I've never done both at once.
She flicks her tongue against my cock. Pleasure surges through my body. There is no other woman. There's never going to be another woman. There's never going to be another experience that compares to Violet.
There isn't a doubt in my mind.
Then her mouth is on me and there isn't a thought in my mind either.
"Fuck, Violet." I fuck her with the toy. My free hand knots in her hair. I guide her over my cock.
She envelops me with her mouth. Her tongue explores every inch of my cock, then it settles on the spot on the bottom of my tip. She torments me with hard flicks of her tongue. Then soft. Then hard again.
My body takes over. I tug at her hair. I fuck her with the toy. I groan her name.
I can feel her orgasm in the way her thighs shake and her fingers dig into my skin. Her groans vibrate over my cock. It's an intense sensation. It's driving me out of my fucking mind.
She groans again and I lose control. I hold her head in place as I come in her mouth. She swallows hard. She groans like my pleasure is her pleasure.
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