“Can you now?” Weston asked, a familiar, mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. Holden had seen that glint thousands of times before. It usually meant that Weston was playing a trick of some kind, but now wasn’t the time for jokes or tricks. Not when the life of a twelve-year-old boy hung in the balance.
“Come on, Weston,” Holden said. “Don’t be an asshole. There’s a boy’s life at stake here, so don’t play games.”
“The boy is gonna be just fine, Holden,” Weston said, then winked before looking over to his left. “Nick! You wanna come out?”
Holden’s breath caught in his throat, and then, from around the corner, Nick suddenly appeared, looking sheepish but exhilarated. He was wearing a backpack, and had his fingers curled tightly around each of the arm straps.
“What the…where did he come from?” Holden asked, looking back and forth between Nick and the boy. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to hug or kill Nick and Weston both. When he looked up and saw the satisfied smirk on Weston’s face, he definitely started leaning in the “kill” direction. Weston looked a little too pleased with himself.
“I found him on his way in,” Weston said. “He was walking up to the apartment at the same time I was, and I knew right away who he was. He looked so guilty, and his eyes have an animal look to them, even though he doesn’t smell like a shifter at all.”
Weston reached over and tousled Nick’s hair. Nick smiled nervously in response, his eyes darting back and forth between Holden and Violet. Holden could see that Nick hadn’t been as enthusiastic about Weston’s little trick as Weston had been. And no wonder. Weston might have thought it was funny to make the group wait a few more minutes to discover that Nick had returned safely, but Nick knew he was in deep shit with his mother. Elise wasn’t going to care how valuable the information Nick recovered might be. She was only going to care that he left in direct defiance of her wishes, and nearly gave her a heart attack in the process.
“You’re a piece of work,” Holden said to Weston, shaking his head. “If I wasn’t so relieved to see Nick alive and safe, I’d teach you a lesson about not making jokes that aren’t funny.”
Weston only laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” he said.
Holden could have made another salty comeback, but he let it go. He was more interested in how Nick was doing at this point than in punishing Weston for being an insensitive asshole. There would be time later to get back at his friend for his actions.
“Nick, I hope you know how worried sick we’ve all been about you,” Holden said, keeping as stern a look as possible on his face. “And how foolhardy it was for you to head off on your own like that. We had no way of knowing whether you needed help, and we couldn’t come after you without risking someone smelling us and knowing there were shifter spies afoot.”
Nick had the sense to look ashamed for a moment, but then he raised his chin defiantly. “Well, I wouldn’t have been going at all if I’d told someone. Mom didn’t want to let me go. But I proved that I could do it. All her fears were for nothing.”
Holden heard Violet let out a long sigh. “I think it’s time we woke Elise up,” Violet said. “Whether or not her fears were for nothing, she’ll want to know that her boy is home safe.”
Holden nodded, and stepped away from the door to allow Nick and Weston to enter. Violet gave Nick a warm hug once he was inside, and Holden thought he saw the shimmer of tears on her eyelids. She’d been worried sick about the boy, too. How could she not be? She knew what Saul’s army had done in the past, and that they were capable of inflicting awful pain on their prisoners. Holden didn’t have to ask to know that, for the last several hours, she’d been playing over all the possible scenarios in her mind of what might happen to Nick if he was caught. Holden gave Nick a gentle cuff on the ears as the boy passed him.
“Don’t ever scare us like this again, you hear?” he asked the boy.
Nick still had a bit of a defiant look in his eyes, but he nodded nevertheless. “I hear,” he said. Then he slipped his backpack off and set it down on the dining room table, rifling through its contents while Violet went to wake Elise up. Holden sat in one of the dining room chairs and stared at the doorway to Elise’s bedroom. Part of him wanted to go with Violet, and to be the one to greet Elise with the news that Nick had returned. But another part of him held back, worrying that the last person in the world Elise would want to see right now was the person who had given Nick the idea to go spy in the first place. The only person who was watching Elise’s bedroom more nervously than Holden was Nick. The boy had had his reasons for doing what he did, Holden knew. But that wasn’t going to stop his mother from chewing him out royally the moment she saw him, and his mother’s wrath was probably the only thing that scared him more than Saul’s army.
“Nicholas!” a shout came from the bedroom, moments before Elise’s face appeared. Tears were already starting to stream down from her face as she ran toward her son. “Oh, thank god you’re okay. I would have died if I lost you!”
She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed, her whole body shaking as the realization hit her that her boy was back, and unharmed. Nick patted her awkwardly on the back.
“It’s alright, Mom,” he said. “I’m fine. They never even knew I was there.”
Nick’s voice made some part of Elise’s emotions snap. She pulled back and slapped him across the face, hard.
“It’s not alright, Nicky! Do you hear me? It’s not alright for you to leave me here worried sick about you, not knowing if I would ever see you again. There’s a reason I told you not to go. Contrary to what you might think, I wasn’t trying to spoil your fun. I was trying to keep you safe.”
Nick’s hand covered his face where his mother had just slapped him. He winced, but the defiant look never left his face. In fact, his defiance seemed to grow stronger at her words.
“That’s the problem, Mom! You always try to keep me safe. Too safe! You never let me live my life. You act like taking the smallest possible risk is going to result in me dying or being horribly injured. I’m so tired of it! You can’t keep me in a bubble my whole life.”
Holden saw Weston and Violet exchange glances. Violet seemed to be telling Weston something using only the expression in her eyes, and, apparently, he understood her meaning.
“I, uh, need to go get my things unpacked,” he said.
“I’ll help,” Violet said, standing and heading toward the door. “You’ll need someone to show you where our apartment is, anyway.”
As she stood, she gave Holden a meaningful look, and he realized that she was trying to get all of them to leave and give Elise some privacy. Part of him agreed that the mother and son probably needed some time alone to work through their angry feelings. But part of him didn’t want to leave Elise. He wanted to stay and hear how Nick had fared in Saul’s camp. And he wanted to make sure that Elise wasn’t too angry at the part he, Holden, had played in today’s events. But the look on Violet’s face told him that he better get up and follow her—and fast. Reluctantly, he stood to his feet.
“Yeah,” Holden said halfheartedly. “I’ll come help out, too, Weston.
But Elise had other plans. She’d seemed to not even be paying attention to anyone in the room other than Nick. In fact, she’d given no indication that she’d even noticed that Weston, a newcomer, had arrived. The moment Holden stood to leave, however, she turned to him with flashing, angry eyes.
“Oh no you don’t,” she said. “The others can go. But you! You’re the one who put all these crazy ideas in my boy’s head. I want a word with you.”
Holden looked at Violet and shrugged. He wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved that he got to stay, or regretful that he couldn’t escape with the others. But it didn’t matter much what he felt. Elise’s tone made it clear to him that he was staying, whether he wanted to or not. Violet shrugged back at him and then turned toward the door. Holden wasn’t sure how much she had picked up on the relationship between him and Elise, but she
would have needed to have been an idiot not to realize by now that something was happening. After all, Holden had never come home last night, and Violet had mentioned the “connection” between Holden and Elise. Holden glanced up at Weston, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Weston must have caught on to the “connection,” too, and Holden knew there would be a lot of explaining to do later. He just hoped that he would be explaining how Elise had forgiven him, and not that she had said she never wanted to see him again.
Violet pushed a curious Weston out the front door before he could ask any questions, and, for once, Holden was glad for the woman’s bossy side. He did not want to have to answer any questions about Elise right in front of her, and he knew Weston would have no qualms about brazenly asking what was going on with Elise while she was right there in the room.
As soon as Violet and Weston were gone, Elise seemed to forget about Holden again, and turned her attention back to Nick.
“For your information, son, I try to keep you safe because I love you. You may think I’m a crazy old lady, but I’ve lived longer than you have, and I can understand dangers in the world that you’re too young to understand.”
Holden willed Nick to just apologize to his mother and soothe Elise’s flaring temper, but Nick had a temper of his own. He was ready to match his mother blow for verbal blow.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Mom. I do understand the dangers I was facing. I know that if Saul’s soldiers captured me it would have meant torture and quite possibly death. But I also knew that I was capable of outsmarting his men. I was willing to take the risk, and I wasn’t being foolhardy. It was a calculated risk.”
Holden was surprised that he couldn’t see steam literally coming out of Elise’s ears, given how angry her eyes looked right now. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling like he was an awkward eavesdropper even though Elise knew full well that he was there and had, in fact, insisted that he stay. His movement must have caught her attention, because she turned to look at him then, and unleashed her fury on him.
“Did you fill my son’s head with these notions of calculated risks?” she asked. “I should have known better than to let my son hang out with a dragon. You promised to protect him! And instead you let him run off into the middle of a war!”
“Elise,” Holden said, trying to keep his voice calm. He struggled for the right words to say, but finding them wasn’t easy. He needed to apologize to Elise, but he also needed to make her understand that her son was a dragon, and dragons all had a bit of a wild side. “I’m sorry that I made the suggestion to Nick that he go back through the tunnel and spy on Saul’s soldiers. In hindsight, I should have known that bringing up the idea would spark a fire in him that wouldn’t be satisfied until he completed the spying mission, with or without permission.”
“Yeah, you should have known,” Elise said. Her voice dripped with frustrated anger, and Holden did his best to remind himself that she was still recovering from the shock of thinking she might lose her son.
“I’m sorry,” Holden repeated again, gently. “I misread the situation. I never intended for Nick to go alone, without having a way of communicating with us and sending a signal if he got in trouble. I’m new to this whole preteen world. Perhaps it was plain to you that Nick would react the way he did, and go off on his own. But I didn’t see it coming. All I can promise you is that I’ll learn from the experience, and do better next time.”
Holden paused, his heart in his throat. He was half expecting Elise to snap at him again, and tell him that there wouldn’t be a next time. That she didn’t want him in her life. But she said nothing. The anger in her eyes didn’t soften, but at least she hadn’t thrown him out the door yet. Holden took a deep breath, and then continued speaking, hoping that he wasn’t going to push Elise away forever with the words he spoke next. Regardless of what happened between him and Elise, though, he had to say his piece about dragons, and about what having a dragon for a son would mean. Holden owed Nick that much. The boy had not had a father to guide him or temper his wild dragon side. The least Holden could do, as a fellow shifter, was to try to warn his mother of what was to come.
“The only other thing I have to say about all of this, Elise, is that while I may be new to the world of preteens, I’m not new to the world of dragons. I’ve known my whole life that I’m a dragon, and I grew up around dragons. You could say I’m something of an expert on dragon shifters, and here’s what I know: that ‘wild side’ that you want to tame in your son will never truly be tamed. Dragons need to be free, to soar, and to spread their wings. The more you try to hold Nick back and keep him safe, the more resentful he’ll become. I would never dream of telling you how to raise your son, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try to explain to you what lies ahead for you as the mother of a dragon. Dragons are fiercely loyal and unapologetically fierce. Your son will never hesitate to give his life for you, or for the causes he cares about. You can try to protect him, but you will never truly tame him. That’s why he went to spy on Saul’s soldiers today. He cares more about fighting for the side of good than he does for his own life. I know that, as a mother, that’s a hard thing for you to accept. But if you want to maintain an open, honest relationship with your son, you’ll need to accept that.”
Holden fell silent, then, already feeling as though he’d said too much. Elise’s eyes were unreadable at this point. He wished she would say something, anything, that would give him a clue as to what she was thinking right now. His heart had not stopped pounding in his chest since the moment she’d commanded him to stay behind when Violet and Weston left. He didn’t want to take the focus away from Nick right now, but there was so much more Holden could have said about dragons and their loyalties.
The truth was, Holden was struggling with his own fierce inner dragon. Even though it scared Holden to death, he’d realized that he would always be loyal to Elise. He would always care for her, and fight fiercely for her. He’d been scared of love for so long, and that hadn’t changed. He was terrified at the emotional rollercoaster that might lie ahead of him. But he knew deep down in his bones that Elise was his lifemate, and that he would never be able to stop loving her. He would risk his life for her, and, because Nick was her son and meant the world to her, he would risk his life for him, too. There’s nothing Holden wouldn’t do for this family. If only he could find the right words to say to make Elise understand that. But before Holden could find more words of his own to say, he heard Nick’s voice speaking up. The boy’s anger had dissolved somewhat, but his eyes were just as determined and fierce as they had been from the moment his mother had walked out of her bedroom.
“He’s right, mom,” Nick said, quietly but with conviction. “I know you love me deeply, and only want to keep me safe. But I have a wild heart. I may be young, but I already feel like I’m destined for great things. I’ve known all along that I was no ordinary boy. I didn’t know until this week that it was because I was a dragon shifter, but I’ve always known there was something different about me. I think you knew it, too.”
To Holden’s surprise, a reluctant smile crossed Elise’s face. “Yes,” she said. “I’ve always known you were different. Special.”
Nick took a deep breath. He looked over at Holden, as if searching for the encouragement he needed to continue. Holden gave a slight nod of his head, letting the boy know he should continue his speech. Nick turned back to his mother.
“Mom, don’t blame Holden for what happened today. He told me very clearly not to do anything that you didn’t approve of, and I didn’t listen to him. My actions today were my own, and I take full responsibility for them. I should not have disobeyed you behind your back, and I deserve whatever punishment you decide to give me. But please, hear me out on this. I went today because I needed to fight for the side of good. There is a war going on, and many lives hang in the balance, not just mine. There was something I could do to make a real difference for the side of good, a
nd I had to do it. My heart didn’t give me a choice. You always tell me that it’s important to be brave in the face of bullies, and that’s what I did today. I was brave in the face of that big bully Saul. I’m sorry I scared you, but I’m not sorry I went. I know I can do great things, Mom, if I just had the chance. I wish you would believe in me a little more. Holden is right. I need to stretch my wings.”
Holden held his breath as he waited for Elise’s reply. He knew that Nick must have been holding his breath, too. Elise sat down at the table and put her face in her hands. She stayed that way for a long time, and finally Nick sat down next to her. When Elise finally raised her face, it was streaked with tears, and her eyes appeared red and puffy.
“I’m sorry, Nick,” she said. “I should have trusted you more.”
Nick’s eyes widened, and he looked over at Holden as though he could hardly believe what his mother was saying to him.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she continued. “I don’t approve of you going behind my back and disobeying me. But you’re right. I do need to let you stretch your wings more. I’ve been overprotective of you since the day you were born. I think it’s because, since the very first breaths of your life, I saw that you had a wild streak in you, like your father. Now I know why.”
Elise glanced over at Holden, and, to his surprise, a small smile turned up the corners of her mouth. She looked back at Nick, and reached out to cover her son’s hand with her own.
“It’s going to take some getting used to, Nicky,” she said. “But I mean it when I say I’m proud of you, and that I think you’re special. So from now on, I’ll do my best to trust you a little more. Just, please, don’t run off without telling me. My heart couldn’t handle it if something happened to you. Waiting here and wondering whether you were dead or alive was the worst kind of torture.”
Nick looked truly contrite. “I’m sorry, Mom,” he said. “I didn’t realize everyone would be that worried.”
Stealth and the Dragon (Redwood Dragons Book 7) Page 13