First Impressions Series (1-2)

by Nicole R. Locker

  At the drool remark, she laughed as the blood pooled in her cheeks, tinting her in the most beautiful shade of crimson.

  I didn’t stop there. “It’s your smile, and your laugh, and the way you see through to the real me. The way you know exactly what I like, even when I don’t know it myself.”

  I let go of her hands just long enough to move my chair closer to her, then took them back in mine, squeezing them tightly as though afraid she might slip through them if I let go. “It’s you, Zia.”

  Then I sat and waited for her response. She said nothing, but a single tear escaped and trailed down her cheek. I let go of one hand just long enough to gently wipe it away, preparing myself for the worst.

  Finally, she spoke. “But the other night, you rejected me. I threw myself at you and you stopped me. I don’t understand how a few days ago you could just walk away when I was baring all my feelings to you like that, and now all of a sudden say that you do have feelings for me.”

  “Zia, you had just had a pretty traumatic experience the night before, and I saw how bad it affected you. What kind of guy would I be if I took advantage of you in the state you were in after that had just happened? I wouldn’t have been any better than Cason. I’m not like that. I respect you and care about you too much to ever do that to you. I never wanted to be a regret you’d look back on,” I explained.

  She had not run for the hills yet, which I took as a good sign.

  “Me?” she asked again in disbelief.

  “For me, Zia, it’s you. But the question is, what about you? What do you feel for me? I know that this wasn’t what you signed up for. You thought you were helping me find other girls. I’m just not sure that you ever wanted to be one of them.”

  I was not used to being this vulnerable, and it scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could endure.

  “Dylan, is that even really a question? Do you seriously doubt what my feelings are for you? I realize that I was drunk the other night when I told you how I felt, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t true. I meant every word of it. The only thing I didn’t mean was for any of it to come out when I didn’t think you felt anything like that for me,” she finally admitted.

  There was a long pause as I looked into her eyes, searching for the confirmation I needed that she meant the words I’d been hoping to hear.

  Finally, I could not hold back another moment. My hand touched her cheek, and I did what I’d been longing to do since the moment we had met. I leaned in closely, not even a moment’s hesitation, as my lips found hers.

  I finally had the answers that had eluded me for weeks. She didn’t push me away or slap me across the face. She didn’t sit motionless while my kiss unwantedly assaulted her.

  Instead, my lips were met with warmth, reciprocation, and passion. I could feel it spread from the small point of contact all the way through my entire nervous system as every synapse fired a chain reaction throughout my body. They fired again when I felt her lean into it even more.

  She wanted this, too.

  When I broke the kiss, I couldn’t restrain the loving smile that had spread widely across my face.

  “When did you know?” she breathed.

  “Know that I wanted to know you, or know that I wanted to keep you?” I asked.

  “Both, I suppose,” she clarified.

  “The night I saw you here, the night you said you first saw me was when I first noticed you. When I saw you again a couple of days later at the table where I forgot my Biology book, that was when I first knew that I wanted to know you. Of course when I saw you at the coffee shop later that evening I knew I couldn’t pass up my chance to talk to you,” I explained as I held both of her hands again in mine.

  “Okay, so then that just leaves when you knew you wanted to keep me,” she pressed further.

  “The night that I came by your apartment and we got to talk and got to really know each other a lot better. That was the night I lost the good fight of trying to deny how much I was starting to like you.”

  Then my thoughts turned serious as I looked down at where our hands were intertwined together. I continued, “But what really sealed the deal for me was the night at Thunder, when I went back to find you because I just couldn’t keep pretending to be interested in all these other girls anymore, when all I really wanted to be doing was talking and being with you.

  “I went back to the table and you were gone, so while I waited thinking you had gone to the restroom, I looked over and saw you being carried out by that sick bastard. I saw red. Rage just consumed my entire existence and all I could think of was that I had to protect you. I’ve never been more scared in my life as I was on that drive to the hospital that night.”

  Just thinking of it had me getting angry all over again. I pulled her in for a tight embrace, and just held her momentarily. When I loosened my hold, I pressed another soft kiss to her lips with my arms still circled around her. Zia, in turn, wrapped her arms around my waist.

  “What took you so long to say something if you’ve felt this way all this time?” Zia asked, looking expectantly at me.

  “I guess I just wasn’t sure how you would react. I mean, you were going to an awful lot of trouble to pawn me off on all these other girls,” I teased with a laugh.

  “Hey, now! I was just trying to help,” Zia teased back defensively, then added, “So why didn’t you call or text me after that night last weekend when I tried to drunkenly seduce you?”

  I laughed internally at the way she put it.

  “That, I guess you could thank Becker for. I ran into him and some other guys that next morning at the gym, and he was bragging to us about going out with you earlier that week. He said he had plans to hook up with you again soon. And maybe a few other things guys usually say to each other about girls they’re seeing. I guess it caught me off guard, and I figured I didn’t want to stand in your way.” I saddened at the memory and how crushed I had been.

  “I see… Dylan, I have no interest in Becker. The truth is, I really never did. He was just someone Clara had been trying to set me up with for a while before you came into the picture, so when I started getting to a point where it was getting harder and harder to ignore my feelings for you, I got desperate for a distraction. So I agreed to go out with him one night a couple weeks ago.”

  I laughed and shook my head, relieved. “I’m glad to hear you’re not interested in him. Apparently he’s been known to have a temper. ‘Roid rage, or something. I was going to hate to have to beat up your boyfriend if he ever laid a hand on you,” I said as I brushed a hand down the side of her arm. She thought I was joking. I knew I wasn’t.

  She laughed. “Thanks for that. Why are you just now telling me this?” She lightly hit my arm, feigning anger and disbelief. “You were just going to let me figure that out on my own?”

  “Would you have listened to me if I had told you?” It was a rhetorical question, as I already knew the answer.

  “Well, probably not,” she admitted. “But I’d at least have kept it in the back of my mind so that I could have watched out for the signs.”

  Thankfully that was no longer an issue.

  We talked and laughed together for another hour or two before I drove Zia home that evening. I walked her up to her apartment and kissed her silly before heading home and texting her for several more hours that night.

  As I lay there, feeling like a giddy little school girl, on top of the world, I couldn’t help but recall that first night I had seen her at the Book Shelf. I remembered thinking to myself that Zia was probably just another girl like any other girl I’d been with. I didn’t think there was any point in going out of my way to try to meet her, talk to her, or get to know her.

  Then, I recalled that night at my soccer game after seeing her walk away with Becker. I had thought that I could step aside and try to let her be happy with him if that was what she really wanted.

  Somehow things had turned around, and I couldn’t believe my luck a
t how it had all finally worked out.

  The one thing I could say for all of it: thank God for second thoughts!

  EPILOGUE: ZIA

  “Oh my God. Get a room, you guys!” Clara joked as Dylan kissed me hello in front of the Student Central Building.

  Dylan looked down at me with an innocent chuckle before taking my hand, and the three of us walked into the building together to grab lunch.

  It was the Monday following the weekend that Dylan and I had finally admitted our true feelings for each other, and it had been an interesting weekend, to say the least.

  Cason had actually had the nerve to text Clara on Sunday. After the shock of disbelief at the nerve – or just plain foolishness – that guy must have had, Clara simply texted him back one message.

  Clara: We filed a police report. Cops are looking for you. Contact me or Zia ever again, I’ll hand your sorry ass over to the cops.

  It had been radio silence from him ever since, thankfully.

  We grabbed something to eat from the food court, and as we approached a table to sit at and eat, we saw a group of guys approach.

  Clara was the first to notice Becker among the group. “Uh, Zia? This might be a little awkward,” she warned.

  I looked up in time to meet eyes with Becker, and his eyes moved from me to Dylan standing beside me.

  “Zia?” Becker questioned. “What are you doing?”

  Afraid of making a scene, I turned to Dylan. “Would you mind if I talked to him for a second? I probably owe him an explanation.”

  He nodded his approval, so I walked around the table we stood at and moved toward Becker who had gravitated to the front of the group of guys he had entered with. Becker and I walked away from the group to speak with some privacy.

  “Hi Becker.” I greeted him nervously.

  “What’s going on?” He suspiciously eyed Dylan who had taken a seat at the table with Clara, then looked back at me with an accusing expression. “Are you here with Dylan Porter?”

  “I’m sorry, I know this is a little awkward. I should have mentioned something a little sooner. It just kind of happened.” I shrugged.

  “When?” he asked, and I could tell he was getting angry. I started to feel tense, recalling what Dylan had told me about Becker’s temper.

  “Just since this past Saturday,” I answered.

  “I thought we had something good going.” Becker grabbed my arms a little too tightly and pulled me in closer to him.

  My hands went up to his chest and tried to push him away as I tried an unsuccessful attempt to back myself out of his grasp.

  “Becker, are you kidding me? Take your hands off me.” I jerked away from him forcibly. “We had two dates. I don’t mean to be rude here, but we never had any claim on each other. You don’t even know me, and I clearly don’t know anything about you.”

  I looked over to the table, knowing Dylan and Clara would be watching. I met eyes with Dylan, who had already stood to make his way over to me. I shook my head letting him know I was okay and not to come just yet.

  I looked back to Becker. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but judging from your reaction, things wouldn’t have ever worked out between us anyway. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, seeing me with him before I had a chance to tell you in person. But I would hope you can respect my choice and let me go without making a big deal about it.”

  Becker thought for a second, and he seemed to let go of whatever anger he had initially resorted to. His demeanor relaxed visibly. “I’m sorry, Zia. You’re right.”

  I wished him all the best before turning to walk back to my table

  Clara and Dylan both stood as I approached them, and Clara was the first to speak. “Zia, are you okay? That looked a little too intense for my liking,” she stated.

  “I’m okay. It’s never a fun conversation to tell someone you’ve kind of been dating that you don’t want to see them anymore,” I explained.

  Clara laughed. “I thought Dylan was about to go pound Becker to a pulp.”

  Clara and I looked to Dylan, and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

  “Nobody’s going to manhandle my girl and get away with it. Much less right in front of me.”

  The butterflies stirred in my stomach again hearing him call me his girl. I knew I was hopeless at that point, but couldn’t think of anything I’d rather be hopeless about than being in love with this insanely gorgeous, protective, chivalrous, intelligent, thoughtful, and – did I mention insanely gorgeous? – guy.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Nicole R. Locker is a resident of Lubbock, Texas. She has a Master of Science in Psychology and a love for pit bulls, pilates, and romance novels. Nicole dreamed of becoming a writer since grade school after writing her first poem in 4th grade at the age of nine. A Social Worker since 2008, she has published life-coaching books on self-esteem and personal relationships, and has now added Fiction Romance to her repertoire.