He nuzzled his face into my neck as he slowed his pace again and I groaned, needing a release.
"Not yet, princess. Not yet," he breathed.
I wrapped my fingers in his hair and pulled slightly as I tried to rock against him.
The feeling he was causing in my body was unlike anything before. I didn't understand it. I felt connected to him in a way I'd never experienced. It scared me but liberated me all at the same time. How could I feel this way for a man I’d just met? A man I still knew very little about.
As he stared into my eyes and the orgasm built, I realized I was falling for him. It's cliché and unrealistic, but it was there. I'd said I didn't want anything serious, that I needed to focus on schooling, on myself. I don't think I'd told that to my heart, though.
With one more torturously slow massage against my clit, I lost it. The orgasm crashed through me and I moaned long and loud as my body shook with pleasure.
"Mason! Oh, God," I moaned as I rocked with his slow thrusts.
He nuzzled his face into my neck and thrust hard two more times before letting out his own release, biting my neck as he groaned.
We stayed in a sexual haze as we both came down from our orgasms, my arms still firmly wrapped around his body and his face still pressed against my neck. I took that time to go over the thoughts flowing through my mind. It must have been the excitement talking, the anticipation of release causing me to be nonsensical. There was no way I could possibly be falling for him already. The thought seemed farfetched, and yet I knew the connection we'd had was instantaneous. Why did I think falling for him would be any different?
Pulling away from me, Mason kissed my neck then my shoulder before he looked up to meet my eyes with a small smile.
"I think I might be becoming addicted to you, Ms. Blake."
I smiled at his formal use of my name and bit my lip. "And what shall we do about that, Mr. Cline?"
"I'm not sure," he stated as he kissed my forehead. "I can't lock you in my room." He smiled then raised a brow. "Or can I?"
I laughed. "I don't think you'd have to lock me in there. I'm pretty sure I'd willingly stay."
He smiled down at me then reached over to turn the spray off before walking out of the shower. I watched him as he made his way to the closet on the far wall and opened it to retrieve a towel, then turned back toward me.
I stepped out and he immediately wrapped me in a towel and started to dry the drops from my body. I was going to protest and tell him I could do it myself, but I kept my mouth closed. He obviously knew I could; there was no reason to point that out. If he wanted to dry me, then I'd let him.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"I could always eat," I answered with a smile.
He chuckled and finished drying me off, then moved on to himself. Once he was dry, he grabbed my hand and led me into his room toward a white dresser. Pulling it open, he retrieved a white t-shirt and handed it to me.
"Put this on and slide into the bed. I'll get some snacks and bring them up." He kissed my forehead and sauntered out of the room, completely naked.
I watched him walk away, staring at his tight, cute butt and bit my lip. I was swooning.
Swooning.
I took a deep breath as I pulled the t-shirt on and pulled the covers back on the bed before sliding in. I needed to take a step back and really guard my heart. I couldn't let myself get so attached already. I needed to take my time with this, get to know him. Make sure his feelings were mutual before I went diving head-first into a pit of heartbreak. I couldn't do that again.
Nineteen
Mason
I woke up the next morning inhaling the scent of vanilla as I ran my hand up Emma’s stomach, under the t-shirt, to grab a breast. She poked her ass out and wiggled closer to me as she chuckled.
“Good morning.”
I kissed the small space of skin exposed at her neck. “Good morning,” I replied in a raspy voice.
Sex with her was amazing, but the previous night, something changed. I wasn't sure why I'd done it, but fucking Emma in the shower was unlike anything I'd ever done. It was intense and personal. Too intimate, but I did it anyway. It was like I'd become someone else, someone who felt worthy to be with her. It was ludicrous to feel like I was having an out-of-body experience, but that's exactly what it felt like. It was like I was watching myself with her, instructing the movements. I'd been loving and gentle. I was possessing her body, making it mine, making sure she felt every part of me, letting her feel how much I worshipped her body.
I smiled into her neck as I spread her legs, possessing her body once again.
Nothing would be able to compare to the euphoria that consumed me completely, but ended too quickly.
I would have liked to spend the morning with her, but she’d informed me that she’d made plans with some friends to have coffee and would have to leave.
She seemed reluctant, but it was for the best. I had many things I had to prepare for the day.
~*~
When Emma left, I’d taken my time to shower and get dressed. I tried not to examine my feelings for her, but everything was so new to me, so foreign that I didn’t know how to process it all. That’s when I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a long time.
Take a drive out to Ferncliff Cemetery to see Mom.
After what happened that night when I was seven, I rarely went out to see her. I still blamed myself. I was the reason she was dead. How could I go to her grave and pretend I wasn’t the reason she was there? That pain I’d tried to bury so long ago always found its way to ache when I was there. It was a feeling I didn’t like to have, but it was a void I’d tried to fill.
Parking on the side of the road, I looked up to the right, out in the sea of headstones. I knew exactly where it was. I still remembered the day of the funeral. I’d felt guilty for not wanting to attend, but I knew she’d be mad at me for not paying my respects. The reasons I didn’t want to attend had nothing to do with her and all to do with John.
I didn’t only blame myself for her death. I also blamed him. If it wasn’t for him doing what he was doing, she would have never wanted to leave and I would have never chased after her. That thought alone had always built fury in my gut.
Grabbing the dozen roses I’d purchased on the way, I stepped out of the car and made my way to her grave, looking around as I went.
So much death in one place. It makes you realize your time on Earth is so short. It was thoughts like this that made me worry about my own life. What have I done to make a difference in the world?
Nothing.
I’d spent my life trying to rid myself of my demons and not doing a very good job.
Coming to a stop at her grave, I knelt down and placed the flowers in the vase attached to her stone.
“Hey, Ma.”
I wiped the grass away from her stone and stared at the wording engraved in it.
Loving wife and mother.
I sat in the grass and propped my arms on my knees, closing my eyes as a cool breeze swept past me.
“I miss you every day. Some days, I don’t know how I’ve gotten by without you to guide me all these years.” I paused and picked at the grass. “I met someone. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. I don’t even know what it is.” I laugh. “But I know you’d love her.” I shake my head at myself as I think of everything going on in my life. “There’s so much she doesn’t know about me, Ma. Things that would make her run. Things I’m sure have you rolling in your grave. I don’t know how to stop it or get the thoughts out of my head.”
I stared at her headstone as I continued to talk, letting my heart speak for once. “Deep down, I want to change. I want to live, to love, but I don’t know how. Everything I’ve ever loved was taken from me, and I know I deserve it.” I let out a sigh. “If you knew what I’ve done, you’d probably disown me and I wouldn’t blame you for that, either. How do I let someone else in when I have so much damning baggage? I just don’t
know how to let it go.”
I diverted my eyes as I thought about Emma. She made me feel so much, more than I’d felt in a long time. How did I let her past the walls I’d built? She’d already seen me without my mask, the clothes I used to shield my scars, but it was the darkness that lived under those scars I was worried about.
Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly.
“I love you, Ma. If by some miracle you can hear me, lead me down the right path. Show me what I need to do.” I stood up and brushed off the back of my pants, then placed a hand on the stone. “I’ll try not to stay away for so long.” And with those final words, I walked away to get ready for my meeting with Donicko.
~*~
Sitting at my desk, I twirled a pen between my fingers, attempting to go over things I’d planned on discussing in class on Monday, but my mind wasn’t into it.
After visiting my mother’s grave, Donicko was all I could think about.
A few hours earlier, it was different. Emma had taken over every thought. I’d laughed to myself because I thought I possessed her body, but she was the one possessing my mind.
When she’d finally walked out the door, that’s when reality hit me. It was like I’d been lost in a dreamland in her presence. Everything outside of the house walls hadn’t existed until that fantasy had to leave.
Once that reality set in, my demeanor completely changed. I knew she could sense it, but there was nothing I could do about it. The meeting I had with Donicko rushed in and took over any sense of normalcy I’d obtained for those few hours. I had to have my head in the game whether I wanted it there or not.
After I’d arrived home earlier, I headed into my office to make a phone call. I really wanted to go up the stairs to work out my anxiety, but first I had business to attend to.
I picked up my phone and dialed Luke.
“Hey, man.”
“Hey, I need a favor.” I grabbed a pen off my desk. “I need you to give me Steve’s number.”
“Steve? Steve Morison, the guy you can’t stand? That Steve?” He laughed.
“Yes.” I knew he’d give me shit for this.
“What’d he do? I can’t let you go kick his ass for something he probably doesn’t remember. I’ll vouch for him. He was probably drunk.”
“Has nothing to do with that. Just…I’ll explain later.”
Luke read off his number, and I jotted it down.
“Is everything all right?”
I stared at the number and asked myself that question. Am I all right?
No.
“Yes. Everything’s fine. I’ll call you soon.”
“You better, asshole,” were his parting words.
I placed the phone on the desk and tried to figure out why exactly Donicko wanted to see me. I had no idea what to expect. I tried not to let my imagination run wild, but that was hard to do.
Especially after the last encounter I’d had with him at the manor.
~*~
Nineteen years old
I’d received an invitation in the mail a week before. Donicko was holding a soiree and instead of inviting John only, he included me as well, with my own personal invite.
My lips skewed in disgust at the stiff paper as soon as I saw the name printed on it, but the idea of not attending was short-lived.
Although I was considered an adult and was attending college, I was not able to do what I wanted freely. I was still stuck under John’s thumb. He’d stay out of my life for the most part, knowing I despised him, but at times like these, he liked to pull the father card. People knew him for his name, and he liked to use me as a business tool.
He prodded me around like prized cattle, showing off and getting praise for having such a promising son. I wanted to laugh in their faces, protest their comments, do something to shame him, but I was dutiful and kept my mouth shut. John was my money ticket until I received my inheritance, so until then I was his puppet.
Dressed in a black tuxedo, I unbuttoned my jacket as I slid into the seat of John’s town car. He sat next to me and was occupied talking on the phone, so I looked out the side window, trying to block him out as we took off down the road toward Hell. It was what I’d have to do for most of the night, block the whole damn thing out.
“You look great, Mason,” John stated, obviously done with his conversation.
I turned my head to scowl at him before spinning back toward the window. I was in no mood for his pleasantries.
“Come on now, Mason. Aren’t you the least bit curious as to what we’re celebrating tonight?”
I turned to look at him again, that time with my whole body.
“No,” I answered honestly. “I couldn’t care less what he’s celebrating and what you’re helping him celebrate. I’m attending, but I won’t be present. I’ll shake hands with whomever you like, but I will not be pleasant and participate in conversation.”
I wanted to tell him they could both go fuck themselves as well, but I kept that to myself.
"One day, Mason, you'll appreciate the success I'm handing to you. And when you do, you'll realize this was all done for a reason."
I looked back out the window. It was pointless to speak to him. Nothing he could ever say would justify the things they'd done. What I'd done.
The car finally pulled up the circle drive of Donicko's manor, and I gazed up at the massive structure. It was a three-story colonial, half the length of a football field, with four columns and a white balcony on the second level.
I stared at it as we came to a stop and wondered why a man who wasn't married and didn't have children would need such a big house. Some ideas entered my mind, but I quickly swiped them away. I didn't want to know anything else about that man.
My door was opened and I buttoned my jacket as John walked up to stand next to me.
"Come," John beckoned. "I'll introduce you to some people.”
The night dragged on and on with introduction after introduction. I’d encountered a lot of people I'd met before: congressmen, police chief, and governors. Then there were men I'd never seen before, men from different countries who needed translators because they didn't speak a hint of English. What I did notice was the lack of women; the only ones I saw were the servers. I found it odd, but with Donicko, nothing was normal.
The hours went by and the night had been pretty uneventful. I had yet to see Donicko, which was a good thing. I was sure I'd see him eventually, but relished in the time passing without his presence.
Spoke too soon. As soon as everyone's conversations started to die down and heads began to turn, I knew he was near.
I heard the chime of a glass being tapped.
"Good evening, gentleman. I'm sorry it's taken me a while to present myself, but as you can imagine, I've been busy." Donicko smiled and everyone else laughed, except me.
"For those of you who have a ticket, please see George on the second floor. And remember, there are consequences for those who touch what is not theirs. If you have any questions, direct them toward George or myself. Thank you."
He was then surrounded by a few men, but quickly emerged from the crowd of people and smiled once he spotted John and me standing off to a corner.
"Ah, John, so glad you could come." Donicko smiled as he grabbed John's hand to shake. "And Mason, so good to see you again. It's been too long."
The last time I'd seen him was the night I'd lost Sophia.
I stared him in the eyes, hatred seeping out of my pores. "Not long enough," I replied venomously.
The son of a bitch laughed at me, mocking my hatred for him, and John joined in beside him.
"Do you know why you’re here, boy?"
I stared at him, not saying a word.
He lifted his hand and gestured around the room. "This is what you help build."
I looked around with a furrowed brow, not understanding what he meant.
"No matter how hard you try to deny it, this is your life, your family."
Nausea built in my
stomach as he talked about family. My family was dead. I wanted to walk away so I didn't have to listen to his nonsense, but I wouldn't show him weakness. He was a piranha to your emotions, and I wouldn't give him anything to feed on.
"Let's show you," he stated as he wrapped his arm around me with a smile.
I took a deep breath as he pulled me along with him, carrying on a conversation with John. I blocked them out and focused on why I hated him to my core. Why I hated both of them.
Sophia.
She would always be the reason. She had been the one thing that set everything in motion. I hated him for taking all my choices away, for stealing my childhood, for making me hate myself, for destroying any kind of life I could’ve had. Nothing in my life would ever be normal. I was damaged, scarred, broken. But I'd be damned if I let anyone see it, especially these assholes.
I wanted to pull away from Donicko, run out to the car and demand to be taken home, but I couldn't. Whatever they were doing was bound to be another test. A test I wouldn't fail because I wouldn't be involved in it, no matter how hard they pushed me into doing it. I might’ve been John's puppet in his business life, but I'd be damned if Donicko thought he could do the same thing.
We arrived on the second level to a huge open space with a balcony which looked down to the first floor. Those who had gathered parted, letting us walk through, all of them staring at me which I tried to ignore.
I couldn't deny the twisting feeling in my gut that something was going to happen I wouldn’t like, yet again. I kept my eyes forward and followed along, keeping my head up as if I were better than them. Deep down, I knew I was.
Donicko had dropped his arm from around my shoulder when we walked up the stairs, but placed a hand on the one closest to him as soon as we made it to the closed, white door at the other end of the space.
Donicko turned toward the crowd and whistled with his fingers to get everyone’s attention.
"Ten minutes, gentlemen. Then you shall make your bids."
I felt the sweat accumulating on my forehead as I squeezed my hands into fists. I knew what these words meant. I didn't have to go through those doors. I clenched my teeth as I tried to keep myself together. I would not lose it in front of all these people.
Professor Cline: Redeemed (Professor #2) Page 14