“Godlings only teach back to the formation of the Semidio as a whole. Before that, it’s vague and up for debate. Purposely, I think.” Knowing more about David, now, I’m positive he made sure any hints of a purpose other than his own were excluded from textbooks and lectures. “The closest thing I’ve ever seen to an explanation is the prophecy we found last night calling Egidio the last of the creators.”
Caleb shakes his head. “No wonder you all are so far off track.” Sighing, he seems genuinely upset by this, and worried about what effect such a lack of understanding has had. “The symbol represents our beginnings and purpose,” Caleb begins. “Egidio was one of the creators, one of the gods who made this world. They worked painstakingly for millennia to create a world of balance. Ecosystems, animals, climates, everything they did was carefully planned. When Mankind was introduced to the world, the creators knew Man would need help to maintain balance, so they created us. We were meant to take away enough pain and suffering that humans could always remember the beautiful parts of life. Everything we take in through hunger is meant to be expended in acts that will improve life.
“The Richiamos were designed to serve as vessels for us, reserves of power, creatures with tremendous empathy who were capable of absorbing large amounts of suffering to feed our hunger, allowing us to do more good in the world. The Eroi,” he shook his head at their self-appointed name, “are not anything more than humans, physically, but they are an ancient group who were once charged with finding and training Richiamos to retain and hold suffering without letting it damage them.”
“They still do that,” I say, jaw clenched as thoughts of Ivy and what she was forced to endure haunt me.
Caleb shakes his head sadly, “Yes, but like Godlings, they twisted their original purpose into something that would gain them power and dominance. They find and train Richiamos in order to turn them into weapons against us. Richiamos means “lures,” but they weren’t meant to lure Godlings to their deaths. They were meant to act as a lure to pain and suffering, holding it until a Godling could take it from them.”
Struggling to contain my rage at the Eroi, I have to force my next question through my teeth. “Are Richiamos really meant to die young, or is that just because of what the Eroi put them through?”
As long as Caleb and the rogues have been watching us, I know he’s aware of what happened with Ivy, right up to the end. The compassion in his eyes eats at me, but he answers my question.
“That doesn’t seem to be an Eroi lie, but the more Richiamos work with Godlings, letting them take away the pain and ease their own suffering, the longer they live. Carrying that much pain constantly, it’s a terrible strain on them. Most don’t live past their twenties.”
Ivy was seventeen when she died, when she gave up her life to end David’s and save a people she once thought she was born to destroy. I have to look away to contain the emotions raging inside me. She could have had another five or ten years. She could have lived a better life, found happiness, felt like she was doing something good instead of believing herself to be worth almost nothing. Bait. A trap. A worm dangling on a hook. It’s almost impossible to believe a group could be so cruel, but the Godlings aren’t any better.
“What does the symbol mean?” Van asks quietly. “It’s different than the tattoo.”
“The symbol shows the source of life in the center, the sphere, with the two snakes protecting it. One snake takes from the source of life, the skeleton snake, while the other gives it back. The hands around the whole system belong to the creators.”
“Why snakes?” Van asks. “Aren’t snakes supposed to be evil?”
Caleb chuckles. “Snakes have long been associated with duality: good and evil, life and death, creation and destruction. They’re also associated with rebirth, because of the way they shed their skin, as well as transformation, immortality, and healing.” His gaze focuses on Van, considering her carefully.
That last words pulls my thoughts away from Ivy and back to snakes. None of the deserters or council had the snake tattoo, but I remember Chris’s original explanation of the symbol’s meaning…healing and medicine. I’m beginning to think that initial connection was the right one, but it still makes little sense. Is this some fanatical group of Godlings who want to remind themselves of a lost purpose? But then why would they be after Van? It could be the Eroi reminding themselves of what the Godlings lost or twisted, and that they’re punishing us for it, but I’m not sure I buy that either. Healing, though, I no longer have any doubts about that after what Van did.
“That’s the true purpose of the Godlings, isn’t it?” I ask. “You said one of the snakes is supposed to give back while the other takes. That’s how Van described healing Ketchup, taking his pain as her hunger fed, then giving the power back in order to heal him. Is that is, then? The answer to this centuries old question every Godling has been so fascinated by since someone like David decided they wanted a new purpose and twisted everything we were meant to be into mindless weapons?”
My voice is hard and clipped by the time I finish, but Caleb takes my anger in stride. His nod is calm. “It’s what we have expected for a long time.”
“Why don’t you know for sure when you know all this other stuff?” Van demands. She’s pulling back into the school’s parking lot, but neither of us moves to get out.
Caleb frowns. “I’m not sure what you’ve been taught about rogues, but the first of us left the main group at the time the Semidio were first formed. As cruel and vicious as David was, he was hardly the first to bury truth and twist power. Even so,” he said, “many of the first group of rogues were hunted down and killed. Those who survived retained as much truth as they could and passed it down through the generations, but the highest and most knowledgeable were hunted the most. Not many survived, and we lost a great deal of knowledge. We’ve been slowly trying to gather it again, but there are still holes.”
“Why healing?” I ask. “Why think that when hunger drives you to feed off others, to cause more pain and suffering just to satisfy your own needs?”
There is such great sadness in Caleb’s eyes, it makes me uncomfortable. He looks reluctant to speak, but does it anyway. “I mean no criticism to your parents, because they did they best they could, given their precarious situation, but starving physical hunger drives people to act in ways they normally wouldn’t. It changes their interactions and choices. Physical hunger is usually only temporary, but our hunger is not. Starving it as your parents did left you with only one choice, to believe there was something wrong with you, and that feeding your hunger was a bad thing. I don’t know how Godling children are taught within the compounds, but our children help care for the sick and dying from early ages. Feeding their hunger is a beautiful thing that eases other’s suffering, even if none of us are capable of truly fulfilling what we suspected to be our true purpose.”
Van and I look at each other. I can read her thoughts as surely as she can read mine. Pain settles in my gut as I think about what that would have been like. To grow up not thinking of myself as a monster? To not have been afraid of myself and my siblings. To not have had moments where I wished it would all end? I can’t really imagine it, but I want it. Maybe it’s too late for me, but when I’m with Annabelle and I think about our future together, that is what I want for our children. I had love growing up, but I didn’t have peace.
This war isn’t just about one side winning out over the other. It’s about fixing what’s broken, giving the next generation a chance to have what we didn’t.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Stunned
(Vanessa)
I’m here.
Jumping up from the mat, I sprint through the gym and out the doors, not slowing as I barrel down the hallway to the lobby. Ketchup’s face lights up as soon as he sees me, and any lingering anger I harbored toward him disappears when I see he’s missed me as much as I’ve missed him. I crash into him and wrap my arms around his body. Not having him to come back to after
visiting our old home to pick up Ivy’s book was torture. Being without him for two days while he flew to Denver for some sort of evaluation or test got me banned from sparring with anyone but Chris, Zander, or Caleb. Since when do Godlings get in trouble for being too rough?
Shaking off my irritation and disgust, I put my full focus into kissing Ketchup. Or I would have if he didn’t pull back after only a quick peck. Before I can get annoyed, he says, “Van, uh, Mom wanted to, um…chat.”
Pulling out of his grip, I stare at Ketchup’s mother in surprise. I didn’t even noticed her when I came running in. “Mrs. Keane,” I say, extending my hand awkwardly. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”
She chuckles, happier than I’ve seen her in a really, really long time. “It’s perfectly okay. I just wanted to drop in and see you. I should have come sooner, but with everything that’s been going on…I’m sorry. Thanking you should have been my first priority after I knew William was going to be all right.”
“Thanking me?” My voice trails off as my eyes dart over to Ketchup. He holds up his hands in defense, making his mom chuckle.
“Vanessa, he didn’t tell me a word, but it wasn’t hard to figure out you were responsible for him surviving the shooting.” Tears well in her eyes as she reaches out and takes my hand. I’m too stunned to respond, but she has more to say, anyway. “I don’t understand how it happened. If you want to tell me one day, I would be happy to listen, but I don’t need to know the details to know you saved his life. I’ve always known you were special. You’re good for him in so many ways.”
I grimace, thinking of all the ways I definitely was not good for him over the years.
Mrs. Keane waves off my guilt. “That first day of kindergarten, I was a mess. I sat by the phone all day, just waiting for the call for me to come pick him up because something had happened. When he came bounding out of the building at the day, he was so happy. All he could talk about was his new friend Vanessa…and the annoying girl who wouldn’t quit talking, but the majority was all about you. I’d never seen him so happy and excited. I’d been sure letting him attend school was something I would regret, but somehow, having you in his life made everything better.”
Still struggling to rein in my shock, I can only stumble through half a response. “I…I don’t…know, uh, what to say, but…thanks? I guess.”
Mrs. Keane laughs, something I haven’t seen her do since before her husband left. That was never a happy memory, for any of us, but now I realize now just how devastating it must have been for her. It’s one thing to have your husband walk out on you to raise a child on your own. It’s something else entirely to be abandoned along with your incredibly ill child to support, protect, and drop everything for at any time of day or night if he needed to be rushed to the hospital. I feel my chest constrict as I wonder how on earth she did it all.
“Now,” Mrs. Keane says, “I promised Ketchup I wouldn’t stay long or embarrass him too much, but I did want to thank you and see this school he’s spent so much time at lately. I’m still not sold on the idea of him boarding here next year, but knowing you’ll be here with him does make me less nervous about it. When everything is done being remodeled, I hope you’ll both give me a tour.”
“Of course,” I say quickly. “It’s really going to be awesome once it’s done.”
Conflict pinches her expression, but she nods and pulls me into a tight hug. She whispers, “Thank you,” again and releases me to say goodbye to her son. I see her wiping away tears as she turns for the door and slips through it.
“She really didn’t have to leave so quickly,” I tell Ketchup, still staring at the door.
Ketchup wraps his arms around me from behind and sets his chin on the top of my head. “She knows. This kind of stuff is just not her thing. Emotional displays and all that. She’s still embarrassed she lost it in front of you the night my dad left.”
“Seriously?”
He shrugs.
“Is she really going to let you board here next year?” I ask.
We haven’t really discussed an official decision on my part to leave public school and join the Godling school full time, but he knows as well as I do that it’s the best decision. Zander and Annabelle deserve to move on with their lives, wherever that takes them. Oscar and Emily will still be here with Joshua, which will make it a little easier.
“She pretends she’s undecided, but she’ll cave. She always does.”
“Spoiled brat,” I tease. “You’re not going to get so many free passes now that your heart is fixed. You know that, right?”
Ketchup scoffs. “Miracle kid gets just as many free passes as dying kid.” He pulls me closer and kisses my cheek.
“You didn’t tell her we’ve been sharing a room, did you?” I ask, hoping that wasn’t part of the reason for her quick exit.
“Are you kidding me? Of course not. Even she would flip about that.”
Sighing in relief, I turn in his arms and simply press myself against him. I’ve been lost without him. Whatever my hunger was doing for him over the years, he’s already more than paid me back. Just being near him calms me, makes me less afraid, gives me hope that things might actually work out. In many ways, we couldn’t be more opposite people, but like jigsaw pieces, somehow we fit together and complete the picture.
“So, what have I missed?” Ketchup asks without letting go of me.
His question makes me laugh. “Oh, you mean, so far today?”
While he’s been gone, we’ve been trading texts and phone calls every chance we got. He knows about the raid, the book, the symbol, the tattoos, the dead Godling deserters and council, and all the other crazy stuff I’ve largely been left out of.
“It’s been unusually quiet this morning,” I tell him.
Ketchup chuckles. Turning so I’m at his side, we start toward the gym. “That’s got to be the most bizarre thing you’ve told me yet.”
“Calm before the storm, I’m sure.” My grumbling doesn’t dampen his mood in the least.
“Eye of the storm, most likely, but we might as well take advantage of it,” he says. “Wanna teach me to fight?”
Staring up at him, I can’t hide my shock. “What?”
He shrugs. “Docs seem to have run out of tests they can do on me. I’m officially cleared for active duty.”
“They did not say that,” I say, my words backed by a glare.
Ketchup thinks for a moment. “Well, maybe their exact wording was more like I could engage in light physical activity, but close enough.”
“You should listen to your doctors,” I argue. “Even with a healed heart, you still shouldn’t be sparring with a Godling!”
“Why not?” he asks. “You still banned for not playing well with others?”
Rolling my eyes at him, I push him away and continue toward the gym without him.
“Been a while since you’ve been tagged with that one!” he calls out after me. “Fourth grade detention, wasn’t it?”
“Shut up,” I snap.
My snarkiness has no effect on him. He’s already caught up to me, and is suddenly dragging me down the hall behind him. “Come on,” he teases, “I want to show you something. Something you’re going to like…”
I could easily get away from him, but he knows he’s piqued my curiosity when I stop dragging against him so hard. Winning makes him pick up speed, and laugh at me. I want to smack him by the time we stumble into the gym and he lets up. Holding back on hitting him, I do yank my hand out of his grip. I park my hands on my hips and demand, “Well, what do you want to show me?”
Ketchup’s eyes glint with excitement. I almost object when he kicks off his shoes and steps onto a mat, but his boyish glee is annoyingly contagious. He gestures for me to join him, which draws a few worried looks from the others. Insulted by their lack of confidence in me, I lift my chin and stalk over to join Ketchup on the mat.
“What are we doing?” I ask.
All eyes are on us now, with the except
ion of Verity and Gyan, who are racing each other up a cargo net.
“Put your hands up,” Ketchup says, “like when you’re practicing punches.”
I have no idea what this is all about, but I do as he says. He’s absurdly pleased by my obedience. “Shouldn’t I have the punching pads?”
Ketchup scoffs. “Afraid I’m going to hurt you?”
“More like afraid you’re going to hurt yourself,” I say with a fake smile. What is he doing? Trying to prove some kind of point? I know his heart is perfect. I made it that way. I still don’t think he should jump headfirst into full-on combat training with Godlings.
Zander walks into the room and raises an eyebrow at the scene, but doesn’t say anything. Good choice. At least one person in the room trusts me.
“What are we doing?” I ask Ketchup.
“Don’t flinch, okay?”
Flashing him a skeptical look, I say, “I’ll try,” in a tone that makes it very clear I think this whole thing is ridiculous. Even so, I brace myself and motion for him to go ahead. His fist flies toward my palm, landing with enough force to throw my hand to the side and silence the entire room.
Not sure what just happened, but blaming it on not being ready for him to punch that hard, I move my hand back into place and get serious. Muscles tensed, stance locked, I put up the same defensive effort I would against Zander. “Do it again.”
Grinning, Ketchup shrugs, and punches into my palm again. I move less this time, but my hand still can’t bear up under the force. Impossible. No way should a human be able to do that. I think that, but then I remember him punching Zander, knocking him out cold. I’d passed it off as a lucky shot. Now, I’m not so sure.
Tearing my gaze away from my hand, I stare at him for several long seconds before speaking. “How did you do that?”
Ketchup is buzzing with energy and excitement. “Wanna know what the next best thing is to being a Godling?” he asks. “Owing your life to one.”
Wicked Revenge Page 24