"He won't," said Garras, lifting his mug again.
Noni slowly pushed herself up to her feet. "I've got to rest," she said. "So do Garras and Dzaka. Will you stay till the afternoon? We aren't leaving him alone in case he wakes and thinks he's still dreaming. There's a stew in the pot on the range. It only wants heating. Help yourselves."
"We'll stay," said Carrie. "You get some sleep. If he wakes, we'll fetch you."
Noni nodded. "You got blankets in your aircar?" she asked.
"Yes. Why?" asked Kusac, stopping in mid-stride.
"If you fetch them in, these two can bed down on the floor in my room so's they can get some peace. Reckon I'll be safe enough alone with them, more's the pity," she cackled.
"I'll fetch them," Kusac said with the ghost of a smile.
* * *
It was late afternoon before Kaid began to stir. Carrie was sitting at the table dozing, head cradled on her crossed arms while Kusac watched him.
Seeing him begin to move, Kusac got up and went over to sit on the bed beside him. Kaid's movements stilled but Kusac knew he was awake.
"Kaid, it's me, Kusac," he said quietly, reaching out to touch his good hand reassuringly. "You're here at Noni's. Can I get you anything?"
Kaid's outer eyelids opened slowly and he turned his head to look up at him. The inner lids were still partly closed and Kusac could feel the pain radiating from him.
His tongue flicked out as he opened his mouth to speak. "Water, please," he croaked.
Kusac got up and fetched him a mugful from the faucet. He held it against Kaid's lips, but he made a noise of denial, moving his head aside before beginning to push himself up into a sitting position, his injured hand held close against his chest.
He took the mug from Kusac and began to drink slowly, his eyes never leaving the other's face.
There was an emptiness about them that worried Kusac. "I'll fetch Noni," he said, getting up.
"No!" said Kaid sharply.
Kusac sat down again. "All right," he agreed.
Kaid finished the water and handed the mug back to Kusac. "How did I get here?" he asked.
"Garras and Dzaka brought you here yesterday."
"Yesterday? How long have I been here?"
Kusac looked at his wrist comm. "Twelve and a half hours," he said. "You are here, Kaid. There's been two people watching you constantly since you arrived."
"Where's Ghezu?" The words were delivered in an emotionless voice that brought a chill to Kusac's heart.
"He escaped. The Brothers are still out looking for him. We're safe here, Lijou has the place surrounded, so has Raiban. She's after him for treason."
Kaid nodded, then lay back against the pillows.
"How do you feel?"
"Better than I have for ..." Kaid stopped. His ears began to fold backward, then righted themselves.
"You've been at Stronghold for nearly two weeks," said Kusac compassionately.
"That long?" said Kaid.
They sat in silence for several minutes before Kusac spoke again. "I have something for you," he said, taking the bracelet from his pocket and handing it to him. "A bonding bracelet. Khemu's?"
A look of anger flashed across Kaid's face. "No. Ghezu stole hers from me. This one's mine. Fyak's medic took it from her body and kept it for me."
"L'Seuli got it from him for you. He said she was dead. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It was quick. I gave her a poison capsule. She used it when Fyak's men took us."
Kusac nodded, then reached forward to touch Kaid's left hand again. "I'm glad you're still with us," he said, gently tightening his grip. "Carrie was able to find you because of the crystal you're wearing."
Kaid closed his eyes, his hand responding with a tiny movement before he removed it from Kusac's grasp. "Ghezu took that too," he said bleakly.
"No. You're wearing it again, Kaid. T'Chebbi found it on the floor in the interrogation room. Noni tied it back round your neck before you left Stronghold. Let me go and fetch her," he said, getting up. "Carrie's at the table. You aren't on your own." He waited for a response but there was none. Stifling a sigh, he went to the bedroom to rouse Noni.
She stomped in a few minutes later, followed by Garras and Dzaka. Going to the sink first, she washed and dried her hands, then went over to the bed. Plonking herself down beside him, she reached for Kaid's injured hand.
"I'm going to look at your hand, Tallinu," she said. "Don't pull away! Garras, give him some more of that pain relief stuff of yours," she said, holding onto his wrist. "Dzaka, fetch my flat dish and mix two parts of warm water with one of my herb potions, same as you did last night," she ordered. "Carrie, stir yourself, girl!" she called out. "Get a fresh cloth, dressings and swabs from my cupboard over by the table. And the pot of ointment you'll find there."
Kaid opened his eyes. "There's no need to fuss over me like this, Noni. I'm fine."
"Fine is it!" she said as Garras stepped past her to administer the analgesic. "If that's the case, then humor an old female, lad." She took her scissors from the night table and began to cut the dressing free.
"It can't be that good if you're admitting to being old," said Kaid tiredly, closing his eyes again.
Noni snorted her contempt and continued with her cutting.
Carrie came over with the pot and dressings which she put beside the elderly Sholan. "Where do you want the cloth?" she asked.
"Spread it under here," she said, indicating with a flick of her ear where she was working.
Carrie did as she was asked, then joined Kusac at the other side of the bed, watching as Noni gently peeled the bandages back to reveal the wounds beneath.
Kaid heard Carrie's sharp intake of breath. It was still bad then. His hand twitched automatically, making him wince with pain.
"Now hold still, Tallinu. The dish, Dzaka," Noni said.
Dzaka placed it under his father's hand and retreated.
Noni supported Kaid's hand with hers, tilting it this way and that as she examined her handiwork. She reached for a swab, immersing it in the liquid then squeezing it out before she gently wiped the residual blood away from the wounds.
Kaid let out a low hiss, his hand twitching involuntarily again.
"Be thankful it does hurt," said Noni tartly. "At least we know there's no nerve damage."
Even as he growled in response, Kaid felt the pain begin to dissolve as the analgesic cut in.
"Well, the swelling's going down," Noni said at last. "It looks as if you might have got away without an infection." She looked up at him. "We might even have saved that finger."
Noni placed his hand on the cloth and, opening the pot, started to spread the ointment on one of the dressings.
Carrie leaned over to touch Kaid's shoulder. He looked round at her, opening his eyes tiredly.
"Don't worry. Your finger'll be all right," she said reassuringly.
His ears flicked once and, closing his eyes again, he looked away.
Noni finished bandaging his hand and turned to look at the wounds on his cheek. An application of her ointment and she was finished. She knew he was feigning sleep and took advantage of that to sign to Garras to give him a sedative.
As he felt the hypoderm a second time, Kaid's eyes flew open and he pushed himself up on one arm.
"No sedatives!" he said, a look of panic in his eyes as they began to glaze over.
Noni reached out and taking hold of the thong round his neck, cut it with her scissors, pulling it free. Opening the pouch, she took the crystal out and placed it in his left hand.
"Hold the crystal, Tallinu. You can't lose us if you hold onto it," she said. "Tell him, Carrie. Tell him it's his anchor to you."
Puzzled, Carrie looked from Kusac to Noni.
"Tell him!" Noni insisted.
Carrie reached forward and placed her hand over Kaid's, closing it around the crystal. "It's your anchor, Kaid. You can't get lost if you hold it," she said quietly.
The drug was ra
pidly taking effect. Kaid's hand opened enough for her fingers to slip through his into his larger palm alongside the crystal, then he closed it tightly, trapping both her and the stone in his grasp.
His eyes flickered, then shut as he slipped back down onto the bed, deep in a drugged sleep.
"Um. I can't get my hand free," said Carrie, looking up at Noni.
"Then you'll have to wait till his hand relaxes," she said. "Dzaka, Kusac, clear away all my stuff, would you?"
Carrie's arm was stretched uncomfortably across the bed to Kaid's hand. "Noni, I can't sit like this. Can't you open his hand for me?"
Noni's eyes fixed on her. "Your hand and that crystal are the only things keeping him sane at the moment," she said sternly. "And you want to move? No, girl, you hike yourself across that bed and sit this side! He'll let go of you soon enough when he relaxes. He's still afraid this is all a dream."
On you go, cub, sent Kusac. It's little enough to do considering all he's been through.
Carrie scrambled across to sit beside Noni, trying not to lean on Kaid as she did so. "Why me, Noni? Why should he see me as his anchor?"
"In a minute, child. Dzaka, take Kusac to my herb garden and show him the herbs I pick for my ointment. I need to make a new batch and if he's going to be about here for several days, he'd better learn where everything is. Garras, you go out to the aircar and call that mate of yours and have more drugs sent out here. Yes, I know I usually use herbs," she snapped, "but they take longer and he needs to be healed as quick as possible if I'm to save his finger!"
"I didn't say a thing, Noni," said Garras with a grin.
Noni waited until the males had all gone off on their separate tasks, then turned back to the human female.
"It's you he kept coming back to, Carrie. First time you could only sense him, next time he was actually there. He's your third, with a link to you so you can bind the three of you together to walk the Fire Margins. No wonder he's drawn to you." She touched Carrie's face fleetingly. "He's been through a terrible ordeal in these past weeks, child. Do what you can to strengthen him. He's still disoriented, unable to tell what's real. I think there's still a residue of the drug in his system. He trusts you: you're the only solid, dependable person in his world at the moment. It isn't easy for him to know he's facing a fear he can't control."
"But why me, Noni?" she asked, a puzzled look on her face. "I'd have thought an old friend like Garras was a much more likely anchor than me."
Noni sighed. "Another one who needs to hear it confirmed before she'll believe! Because you matter to him, of course! The drug responded to his state of mind, and took him to you. Use your head, girl! Now, enough talk. The males are returning and it's time we ate."
CHAPTER 17
Two days had passed since Kaid had been brought to Noni's. Physically he was improving, but the psychological impact of his imprisonment would take much longer to heal. At times he still woke suddenly, not knowing where he was and whether what he saw around him was real.
It was midafternoon, and Kusac sat in the garden with Noni while Carrie showered.
"You leave her here with me," she said. "They need to pair to complete the Triad. It won't happen with you here too."
"I know," he said, keeping his eyes away from her. "It's just that ..."
"Jealous? That's a rare emotion for one of us, but then, you aren't just one of us anymore. Listening to the Human side, are you? And you with a Human life-mate that's becoming almost more Sholan than you! Huh! Make me laugh, you do! Think Sholan, boy! That scrap of a youngling female loves you more than anyone yet born! Only ones she'll love as much as you will be your cubs, you can rest safe in that, young Aldatan!"
"You're right, of course, and I know it," he admitted, looking up at her. "Our bond is so close, Noni. I don't know how I'll feel when she ..."
"What about that Vanna female you pair with now and then?" she interrupted. "Does your life-mate flex her claws and growl? Does she go into a hunt state, have hysterics? Does she insist on sharing it mentally with you?"
"No, of course not! But since Garras moved onto the estate..."
"Does your Carrie think you love her less for being with Vanna now and then, or does she grudge either of you a little of what you and she share?"
"No!"
"Then why should you have a problem?" she demanded. "It isn't just anyone! It's someone you trust, someone you like! Just as she can let you be with Vanna, you'll find you can let her be with Tallinu. She's not going to love you any the less, you know."
Kusac looked away again, mentally squirming under her sharp comments.
She leaned forward, patting him on the hand. "Rest easy, boy. She cares about Tallinu, but not like she loves you. Be thankful it's him that's the third. He'll never cross either you or her."
"What about him? Does he care for her?" he asked.
"Ah, that's one you'll have to ask him. I will tell you he's afraid of pairing with her— partly because of his loyalty to you. You need to speak to him, but not now, after."
"After," Kusac nodded with a sigh, flexing his claws.
"Leave them alone here for a bit. Let them get easy with each other. They'll not pair first time out on the estate. She's never had a lover but you, she's afraid too. Go to your Vanna when the time comes— you'll know when. Meanwhile, Dzaka can bring her back every four days. I'll get Lijou to send someone to guard us while he's gone. I could do with her help anyway."
He nodded, then looked sharply toward the back door as Carrie came out wrapped in her toweling robe. "You shouldn't be out here," he said. "You'll catch a chill."
"I felt your concern," she said, going over to him.
Leaning on her stick, Noni pushed herself to her feet. "I've things to do before I go out," she said.
Carrie took her seat and they sat in silence till Noni had disappeared indoors.
"What's wrong?" she asked quietly, reaching out to put her hand in his. "Is it about Kaid?"
"We've never really talked about this Triad, cub," he said, tightening his grasp on her hand. "We try to avoid it. I think we have to talk now."
"Just before we leave for the estate? Wouldn't it be better left till we're at home?"
"We need to talk. I know I say this was a joint decision, but do you feel that I pushed you into agreeing to the En'Shalla rituals?"
"No, you didn't push me," she said. "It was a joint decision. I want us to be free, and like you, I'm prepared to do what it takes to achieve that."
"What about Kaid? Are you agreeing to this Triad just to please me?"
She glanced away.
He could feel her reluctance to discuss the subject, then he sensed her resolve harden as the inner strengths that had served them so well in the past came to the fore.
"To be with you, Kusac, I had to turn my back on everything I'd been taught, everything I'd been brought up with. It wasn't easy, but it was what I wanted to do. Humans have very little understanding of me and why I want to be with you, none at all of why I want to have your cubs." She looked up at him.
"Our daughter is who we are, neither Sholan nor Human, but both. What we want is worth fighting for, Kusac. Is it the Sholan you that's concerned, or your perception of my Human side? I asked myself that question. Hell," she grinned wryly, "I'm sunk already among Humans, no matter what I do! And Sholans don't care whether I've got a lover or not!"
He leaned forward, caressing her face with his hand. "Cub, the Sholan me feels no jealousy for Kaid, just sadness that he can only touch the edge of what we share. I hope he finds someone who'll bring to him everything that you've brought to me."
His hands sought hers as, standing, he pulled her up into his arms.
"My worry is that we're forcing this on him," she said, resting her head against his chest. "That he'll do this out of loyalty. If he does, I hope I never find out."
"I don't believe he will, though he keeps his mind so tightly closed it's impossible to tell." He rubbed his cheek against the top of her
head, holding her as close as he could. "It's no different from the times I've shared with Vanna, cub," he said softly. "We've more control over our link now, we know it's not a problem if the lover is known and liked by both of us. The same will be true with Kaid, you'll see. Just remember, he's not like me, he has no Human side to him. What we take for granted, he won't know, and not being a telepath, he can't read from you."
"I'll remember." She looked up at him. "You want me to stay here, don't you?"
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