by Sheila Kell
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Epilogue
About The Author
His heart is hers.
“The night before Matt went into the navy, me and some of the guys from college took him out. Boy was that a night to remember.” Brad shook his head and took a big bite of his steak.
“Enough,” Matt growled in response.
“Oh?” Caitlyn quizzed as she covered a french fry in ketchup. “What made it so memorable?” She bit into the fry and almost moaned with delight. There was something about the combination that just set her taste buds on fire.
“Tattoos,” Brad stated while Matt said, “Nothing.”
Glancing back and forth between the brothers, she smiled. “Tattoos, huh?”
“It’s nothing,” Matt reiterated.
“Don’t listen to him,” Brad advised with a mischievous smile. “We have matching tattoos so we would always remember each other and the fun we had.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. Matt had never been a tattoo person; in fact, he’d always been a little opposed to them when they’d been in college. She guessed getting drunk must’ve fractured that thinking.
Not that she was opposed to them. She was indifferent, since it wasn’t her body. Men, and women, could have them or not, but she didn’t want needles unnecessarily stuck in her skin. Only she didn’t really care for them on the face. It could sometimes be a bit creepy.
“May I see?” she dared to ask, knowing Matt wasn’t happy about the topic.
“Not in here,” he directed at Brad, who’d grabbed hold of his shirt as if ready to pull it up or off.
She stifled a chuckled. She wouldn’t put it past Brad to rip his shirt off in public. That much hadn’t seemed to change in him. “Ooh,” she cooed. “I’m intrigued.”
Brad winked at her. “I’ll show you anytime, brat.”
“Sheila Kell is a mistress of the genre…”
—Readers’ Favorite
Other HIS Series Novels
by Sheila Kell
His Desire
His Choice
His Return
His Chance
His Destiny
His Family
Hamilton Investigation & Security
HIS Series, Book Seven
Matt & Caitlyn
HIS HEART
Copyright © 2017 by Sheila Kell
Publisher: Cunningham Books
Editor: Hot Tree Editing
Interior Design: Polgarus Studio
Cover Designer: CT Cover Creations
Cover Models: Zeke Samples and Sami Bossert
Photographer: Eric Battershell Photography
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the publisher, Cunningham Books, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.
ISBN 978-0-9978489-9-1
To Debi Lynn Rodriguez
I love you more, Sis
Acknowledgments
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Epilogue
About The Author
Since I’m not an all-knowing genie, I sought assistance while writing HIS HEART from industry experts and also involved my Facebook Reader Group in naming animals, facilities, and even the facility slogan. We like to have fun like that. I want to ensure I give everyone proper credit and hope you will forgive me if I miss anyone.
First, there is a great group of professionals who I have relied upon for this series to make the book look great both inside and outside. Eric Battershell Photography takes the great photos that Clarise Tan of CT Cover Creations turns into beautiful covers, and this one is no exception. On the inside, Becky Johnson of Hot Tree Editing and her outstanding team make sure the story is worth reading. I couldn’t do this without any of them.
I have the best group of readers on Facebook. I love to use names in my work they hold dear or that just make up for the fun of it. Jamie McDowell Reinhardt named our service dog facility while Susan Jane Parkes gave us the slogan, “Working Pets for Vets.” There were many dogs in the book, but those front and center were named by Barbara Shuler, Clare Roden, and Sheila Roberts Gross. All great names that were perfect for this story.
This time I traveled to look at two facilities. The experience was a complete eye opener. I enjoyed sitting with Skip Martin at Precision Prosthetics and learning about the innovations they had accomplished. I used their custom product as an extension of Matt. Should I have confused the order of putting on or taking off the prosthetic and sleeves, that is my error.
It’s never a bad day when I had the opportunity to spend it with the dogs, and the afternoon I spent with Charles Dwyer at Retrieving Freedom was wonderful. I was lucky. Not only was a veteran in attendance with his service dog, but I learned so much about how these animals are not only helpful but can be lifesaving. Retrieving Freedom, Inc., is a nonprofit organization and depends upon donations to help train service dogs to assist veterans living with post-traumatic stress disorder and injuries sustained during their service, children with autism, and individuals living with diabetes. You can learn more about them at: https://www.retrievingfreedom.org/.
ANOTHER DAMN FAMILY wedding he’d been required to attend. Matt Hamilton put on a smile and wished the happy couple the best. Christ, he wanted his family to be happy, but would it never fucking end? The sappiness of all the couples nearly drove him insane.
Matt had suffered through four of his brothers and his sister getting married to the one they couldn’t live without. Now, his father, U.S. Senator Blake Hamilton, was tying t
he knot after too many years alone. Everyone had their own fucking happy ending except him. And his twin, Brad.
He exhaled a long breath. If only he could go back and do things differently….
Dammit, his future still looked bleak without the woman he loved by his side. After all these years, all he wanted was for her to forgive him, even though he’d probably never forgive himself, or welcome him back. It was his fault tragedy had struck her. If only….
A hard slap on his shoulder brought him back to the present festivities. “Hey, man, how you holding up?” Brad’s question was filled with concern. He knew Matt’s aversion to weddings and the harsh memories they evoked. Like when they were young, he and his twin had few secrets between them.
“I’ll survive.” Taking the focus off him, he issued a sly grin before he spoke next. “Pity there aren’t any bridesmaids for you to chase today.” Their father’s bride—their new stepmother—only had one attendant who wasn’t married, and she was old enough to be their mother. Of course, knowing the horndog Brad was, that might not be a roadblock to him.
“Don’t I fucking know it. Hell, I’m off to The Square. Want to come? We can hit up Square Pizza, then grab a beer somewhere. There’re lots of college girls hanging out at the bars.” Brad waggled his eyebrows in emphasis.
Unfortunately, the lure of the entertainment hub of Oxford, Mississippi didn’t bolster him. The burden he carried was too great, and being in Oxford, where he’d fallen in love and then had his heart destroyed, weighed on him. “No. I’ll pass.” Matt raised an eyebrow in question. “Aren’t you a bit old for college girls?” he joked. Hell, they were thirty.
Brad ignored his question and gave him an inquisitive stare before shaking his head. “Shit. This is about Caitlyn, isn’t it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Every fucking wedding has brought you to this brooding mood. I don’t know whether to be pissed at you for hanging on to her memory so long or feel sorry for you for doing the same. Listen, you’re here, so why don’t you visit her father, find out where she lives, and go see her?”
“It’s not that simple and you know it.” Nothing had been simple with his and Caitlyn’s parting.
“Yes it is,” Brad stated hotly. “You’re just too much of a fucking pussy to settle this shit.”
Anger surged through Matt. He shoved his balled fists in the front of his khaki pants pockets to keep from swinging at Brad. How dare his brother—his twin of all people—tell him to settle this shit? He knew what had happened and how Matt had been at fault.
Eight years ago, Matt was engaged to be married, and the thought of his own wedding had made him happy beyond all means. His heart sank at the thought and rolled around there to crush the joy he’d once felt. But things had gone horribly wrong, and Caitlyn Robinson had called off the ceremony.
Before blasting back a reply, Matt’s gut churned. Brad was right. Hell, he needed to salvage a future worth living, and that meant he needed to settle things with Caitlyn. But he wasn’t sure he could handle her rejection one more time. Not from her… the woman who, even after eight long years, was still the only future he wanted.
Saying he could just forget the reason for their estrangement and move forward was impossible. Her final words had held him captive all this time. Sure, he’d dated—though he used that term loosely—during the intervening years, but no one came close to replacing Caitlyn in his life or, most importantly, in his heart.
“Hey, guys, what’s up?” AJ, the youngest Hamilton brother, approached, holding his nine-month-old son, Alex, in his arms and grinning like everything in the world was perfect. Since he’d become a father, AJ’s smile had grown twofold and remained permanently in place.
“Just planning single guy stuff. Remember that? The fun? The women?” Brad mocked as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
AJ narrowed his eyes at Brad, but his smile didn’t falter. “Maybe you aren’t familiar with the married stuff—a great woman in your bed every night and children who bring joy to your life.”
“Someone criticizing you. Someone always telling you what to do. Someone always in your business,” Brad retorted like they were playing an I’ll-one-up-you game he planned to win.
“What’s going on?” Jesse, the eldest of the brothers, joined them. Not expecting a wedding when Matt and his brothers and sister had made the family trip at their father’s insistence, most weren’t prepared for the dress attire a wedding usually required. Not Jesse though. Seemingly prepared for just about anything, he’d packed a blazer in his luggage. Who the hell wanted to wear a blazer in this summer heat? Not Matt. Luckily, his father and the bride hadn’t wanted to wait until they all were in suits or dresses; they wanted everyone to come as they were for their wedding in the gardens of the Oxford family home.
Matt shrugged and nodded between the two of his brothers who were dressed similarly to him in khakis and a short-sleeved polo shirt. Golf attire. That’d been their plan anyway until the ceremony changed their schedule. “They’re arguing married versus single life.” Although watching from the sidelines, Matt crossed his arms over his chest and widening his stance as if to dig in for a good long fight. “They just got started slinging mud, so this should be good.”
“There’s no contest. Married life kicks ass,” Jesse offered, wearing a broad smile. “It won’t be long before you two”—he pointed to Matt and then Brad—“tie the knot.”
“Fuck no,” Brad answered forcefully. “No way would I give up my freedom for some chick. There’s too much pussy to go around, especially now that you guys are off the beat, leaving much more pussy for me.”
“Watch your language,” AJ commanded while rubbing the back of his sleeping son whose head lay on AJ’s shoulder.
“Shit, sorry,” Brad apologized in a low-pitched voice.
Heads shook in hopelessness, but no one bothered to inform Brad that he’d cursed in his apology for cursing in front of Alex.
Matt didn’t respond to Jesse. Once, he’d been willing to give up his freedom, but he wasn’t sure he saw marriage in his future. From experience, Matt knew that if the right woman came along, Brad would jump at the chance to marry her and make her his. His twin just hadn’t fallen in love yet. It’d happen. Matt hoped sooner rather than later though. He’d like to see Brad as a father.
Fuck. How could he let it escape him that if Brad fell in love, that would mean another wedding? He didn’t think he could endure it, because he was confident Brad would ask him to be his best man. They had promised to do that years ago. Christ, they’d still been in high school. Like him, Brad would remember and ask him to stand up with him. A shiver of dread snaked up his spine.
The crazy number of weddings taking place in the last two years did nothing but drive home that he’d been too chickenshit to resolve what stood between him and moving forward. He’d never searched for Caitlyn, but her moving away had always been on his mind. Yet there he stood—a big, bad, former Navy SEAL who wouldn’t confront his past.
Releasing a sigh, he scoffed at himself for the internal emotional rant. Yeah, he’d been thinking like a big, bad former SEAL who needed a kick in the ass.
Resolved to take whatever hits Caitlyn gave, he made up his mind. He’d find her and apologize one more time. Then he could close that door and move forward. Maybe. But he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
First, the team had a job scheduled for when they returned from this short family retreat. He hadn’t been involved in the planning, but surely someone could replace him from the mission. “Hey, Jesse, if you can spare me on this next assignment, I’ve got someplace I need to be.”
Jesse eyed him suspiciously, and Matt tried to keep his facial expressions neutral—unreadable—like he’d learned long ago in the navy. Granted, Matt had never backed out of a mission before, so he expected the curiosity. He just hoped he didn’t get any questions. Sharing the reason why he wanted the time would open up too many other inquiries from Jesse and his brothers, if they found out. Brad would
keep it quiet, so best he kept it between the two of them for now. Then, if things went well, he’d share the happiness with everyone. If they didn’t, he wouldn’t have their pity any more than he had eight years ago.
“Yeah, we can make it happen.” His older brother paused for a moment, still studying Matt. “Anything you need help with?”
Matt shook his head. “Nah, just some hunting I need to do.” Hunting was exactly what he’d be doing, because after Caitlyn had dumped him, she’d disappeared, and her father had kept her location secret. After his brother Devon’s wedding and advice, Matt had shown up on Adam Robinson’s doorstep in hopes of making amends. For the longest time, he hadn’t been able to face Caitlyn’s father after everything had happened.
Adam had stated he’d never blamed Matt and wished he’d been visiting all along, because he missed his company. His card playing too. Years ago, they’d sit and play gin rummy while Caitlyn did her college coursework on days or nights that Matt just needed to be near her.
God, he still missed her terribly. Her smile. Her scent. Her laughter. All of her.
With a nod, Jesse said, “Well, we’re here if you need us.”
A lump formed in Matt’s throat. He and his brothers, now that they all worked together at Hamilton Investigation & Security, remained tight like they had when growing up together. They had each other’s back at HIS and in their regular lives. However, he had to do this alone. He had to face it without his family watching, no matter how much he wanted them with him. “Thanks.”
They shook hands, and before any could ask questions, Brad exclaimed, “Good. It’s settled. I’m out of here.” He dipped his head in farewell, then turned and strode away.