‘Well, I can’t swim and I’m afraid of water. I didn’t like to throw that into the conversation as I think Hazel, and Jenny would have been mortified. I agree with you, they meant well. This is my car here, thanks for walking with me. It has been nice meeting you, Chris, and I’m envious of the scuba diving. If I ever get up enough courage to conquer my fear, it’s something I’ve always longed to experience.’
He holds out his hand and gives a friendly shake.
‘Well, if that day ever comes be sure to look me up. I’d be happy to give you a lesson, or two.’
As I drive off I’m chuckling to myself. I’ve been scared of the water since I was a tot. Although I’d love to see what lives on the bottom of the ocean, it’s a dream I know will never happen. Guess this really is ‘the one that got away’, in more ways than one.
Adam
What a Difference a Year Makes
‘Hi, I’ve come to collect my order. The name is Adam Harper.’ My eyes sweep around the shop. I can’t see Katie anywhere and I don’t recognise the woman serving. This time last year it was pouring with rain and blowing a gale. I was standing here bedraggled, soaked to the skin and half-frozen. I have to stop myself from laughing out loud and looking like a lunatic. Although I wish she was here maybe it’s for the best. Today we couldn’t have had a meaningful chat, anyway.
What does strike me is that every time I call in the place seems to feel a little less welcoming. The loss of that wonderful, cosy atmosphere is a real shame, in my opinion. Gone are the personalised touches and now everything, including the displays, are what you would expect from a corporate chain.
I’m relieved to see Hazel walking towards the counter. She smiles, recognition instantly flashes across her face.
‘Hi, there. One very special cake coming up!’
As she disappears to find the cake, I turn and smile at Leonie. She slips her hand into mine and squeezes it.
‘What a fabulous cake shop. I can feel myself putting on weight just looking at those cupcakes.’
‘Wait until you check out the Christmas cake. Lily had a princess cake from here for her last birthday and it was amazing. Katie, the owner, is one talented lady.’
‘You know her?’ Leonie looks surprised.
‘Only as a customer, I’ve purchased a few cakes. You know, Grandma’s birthday and, of course, the festive cake.’
I can see that Leonie is impressed when she sees the cake that is placed in front of us.
‘Wow, the detail is amazing. It’s so cute. Shall we take some cupcakes as well?’ She looks at me with a broad smile on her face.
‘Oh, so the diet goes out the window.’ I laugh and Leonie leans into me, giggling.
‘I think we’ll take four of those as well, please.’ She points at a tray in the display cabinet.
As the cakes are being boxed up, I’m surprised there’s still no sign of Katie. I feel too awkward to ask after her. The last time we talked she indicated she was at a bit of a turning point and I hope she’s now moved on. Certainly the shop is busy today and everything is running efficiently. I’m pleased for her. She deserves to have her dream and make a huge success of it.
But it seems wrong to leave without saying anything. As I hang around waiting to pay, I start up a conversation with Hazel.
‘Another great cake. I love the village scene. Will you thank Katie for me?’ I glance across at Leonie, standing next to the counter with two boxes in her hands. She looks back at me and smiles warmly.
‘I will. I’m sure she’ll be very sorry to have missed you, but it’s her day off.’
‘Ah, right. I hope she’s doing something nice. Business seems brisk.’ I look around at the queue and at the two other people busy serving.
‘It is, we can’t keep up with it at the moment,’ she replies, amiably. ‘How’s that lovely daughter of yours? Lily, wasn’t it?’
‘Great, thanks. She’s off with her mother on a trip to Disneyland.’
‘Fab, bet she’s having a marvellous time. I hope you, and your girlfriend, have a nice visit.’
‘Thanks so much. Tell Katie I’m here again next week, so I might pop in. Are you open on Christmas Eve?’
‘Yes, we’re open until four o’clock and Katie should be here. Merry Christmas and I hope your grandmother enjoys the cake.’
It’s funny, but I can’t recall having mentioned Grace to Hazel. I don’t suppose … no, I’m sure Katie wouldn’t have any reason to discuss our little talks. There’s no time to puzzle over it as I step forward to hold open the door for Leonie. I’m conscious we’re running a bit late and Grandma will be worried.
Assessing Grandma with a quick glance I notice that she’s beginning to look rather frail and there are dark smudges beneath her eyes. As we hug, it hits home how much weight she’s lost. She appears to be shrinking. I could almost wrap my arms around her twice over and I feel as if I tower above her diminutive frame.
‘Grandma, this is Leonie.’
Grandma Grace’s face breaks into a welcoming grin. It’s wonderful to see her light up when she looks at Leonie.
‘It’s so lovely to meet you, my dear. Come in and sit down. Adam, the kettle has boiled and there’s a tray already prepared in the kitchen. Can you do the honours?’
I nod, knowing that what she’s asking for is simply some time alone with Leonie. I guess she’s looking out for me, in case I lose my head and grab the first available woman. I’m pretty sure that Leonie will pass the test, though – she’s smart, kind and looking for a steady relationship. Job done. What can go wrong?
Katie flashes into my mind and I deliberately push all thoughts of her away.
I linger in the kitchen as long as I can, washing up a few dishes while the tea brews. Then, with a manly cough, I walk back into the sitting room.
Leonie is sitting in Pop’s chair, chatting away to Grandma with apparent ease.
‘No,’ she shakes her head in response to an unknown question. ‘I never wanted children. When my friends were pregnant their experiences were enough to put me off the whole thing. Cooing over babies isn’t something I do and I’d be bored stiff being at home with a small child all day. At Lily’s age, at least you can hold a proper conversation with them. Plus, they don’t need watching every single second of the day.’
I don’t know what they’ve talked about so far, but the last question is obvious. Grandma is giving her the third degree. I decide not to interrupt and take a seat on the spare sofa.
Grandma looks a little put out by Leonie’s response.
‘It was always a concern to me that Adam was an only child. It would have been such a comfort if he’d had a sibling, someone he could turn to in troubled times.’
‘I’m an only child too, so I don’t know if that’s how it works. I have a friend who hasn’t spoken to her brother for eight years, so I guess nothing is guaranteed. Anyway,’ continues Leonie, ‘the benefit of having only one child is that you get time to have a life of your own. They demand a lot of attention, don’t they?’
Grandma raises an eyebrow and I jump in to change the subject.
‘Tea, ladies?’
‘Leonie’s been telling me all about her job. I often wondered what exactly happens in those laboratories, when they say they’re testing food. Nice to know someone is keeping an eye on all those additives.’
Jeez. They’ve only been alone together for ten minutes tops and Grandma has worked her way down the list of essential information. The next question would have undoubtedly been about me. I can picture it, ‘Do you love my grandson?’ My unwittingly sharp intake of breath attracts their attention. I say the first thing that comes into my head, as both pairs of eyes settle on me.
‘Um … did Leonie tell you her parents live in the States?’ It begins a long exchange as Leonie talks about the fabulous lifestyle they have, living in Palm Springs. I feel a little more comfortable with the topic of conversation, until Grandma responds.
‘You must feel very lonely
at times, Leonie, with no family close to hand. But maybe that works for you. I’ve always felt that maintaining the family home was important. Adam’s roots are here. It’s somewhere he can return, where memories are a comfort. Life isn’t always easy, so it’s important to have something to hang onto.’
The conversation ends abruptly and I’m surprised by Grandma’s words. I fill the void with polite chatter about the garden and the atmosphere becomes more relaxed. My mind is working overtime – Grandma doesn’t seem to have taken to Leonie as easily as I’d hoped.
I marvel over the thought that, even after all these years, she can still surprise me. I know our relationship is a lot closer than most, because of the sorrows we’ve shared. Tragedy has a way of making people cling together. What I hadn’t stopped to consider was how much work went into making that happen. Grandma was always the cornerstone, the tower of strength for Pop and me. In return we loved her for the kindness, support and selfless-love she gave us. We took that for granted, but where would we have been if she had been a different type of woman? What if she’d insisted on having her own life and her own space, rather than always putting her family first?
I glance across at Leonie. What attracted me to her from the start was her determination. That sense of wanting to succeed at whatever she decides to do. Is she another Kelly? Am I simply drawn to the sort of women who will inevitably have their own agenda, because it counters something lacking within me? What do I want out of life, aside from Lily’s happiness?
Unease stirs in the pit of my stomach. I think Grandma was trying to make a point; highlighting what she feels is important to me. Things so inherent in my makeup that I hardly notice them; but without which, everything would fall apart, as it did with Kelly.
The afternoon flies by and with one last hug it’s time to say goodbye. Leonie politely excuses herself to touch up her make-up, giving me a few minutes alone with Grandma.
‘Thank you for a lovely day.’
‘My dear, I hope I didn’t say anything out of line. I have to say what’s in my heart. I mean well, but naturally, I’m anxious for you. I don’t want to see you hurt again.’
It’s an awkward moment and she hugs me with a fierceness that belies that look of frailty.
‘Hey, I’m fine and there’s nothing at all to worry about. I do need you to take good care of yourself, though. We’re counting down the days until Christmas Eve and our trip to come and collect you.’
She eases away from me, those sparkling eyes looking up into mine, reflecting love, and pride.
‘Oh, I nearly forgot to thank you for the beautiful cake. I would also like you to give this to Katie, at Sweet Occasions. It’s only a little something. She has talent and a passion. I admire that and I hope she knows that the personal touch means a lot. Every time you bring me one of those little boxes I can’t wait to see what’s inside. I love you more than words can possibly say, Adam.’
Her eyes mist over. I take the small parcel she picks up from the table in the hallway to hand to me.
‘It’s breakable,’ she warns.
‘Hmm, right, well, I’m sure she’ll be delighted. I’m not sure when I’ll have a chance to drop it in though …’
‘I was rather hoping you could pop it in on your way back today,’ Grandma says, pointedly.
‘Okay, although it’s her day off and I’ll have to leave it with one of her colleagues.’ I know a command when I hear one and I’m not about to argue. Normally, I’d be delighted to have an excuse to pop into the shop. Knowing Katie won’t be there, and with Leonie in tow, it isn’t quite the same.
‘Drive safely, Adam, and don’t forget to ring me as soon as you get home. Give Lily a big hug from me.’
When Leonie reappears she stoops to give Grandma a kiss on the cheek, which I think is a nice thought. Maybe it wasn’t quite the grilling it appeared to be and Leonie was expecting a thousand and one questions. As Grandma admitted, it’s only natural she should be protective of me.
However, as soon as the car door is shut, Leonie lets out an exaggerated sigh.
‘Wow, you should have given me some advance warning about that.’ She exhales, loudly. ‘I thought I was a strong woman, but your grandmother is one tough cookie. Has she ever approved of any of your girlfriends?’
There’s an air of sarcasm in her voice. I change the subject, feeling it’s an unfair question and I’m disappointed in her more than I care to admit. I acknowledge that Leonie didn’t find today’s visit an easy introduction. Maybe she genuinely can’t understand the natural sense of wanting to protect one’s child, or grandchild. I will admit it probably wasn’t very fair of Grandma to question and judge Leonie’s opinion on things she hasn’t personally experienced. So far Leonie’s been great with Lily and I can’t fault her in that respect. Perhaps the Christmas visit will be easier, as everyone will be relaxed, and happy. Today felt more like an interview than a visit and I was equally as uncomfortable witnessing it. But if you can’t be a little forgiving to an elderly lady when it comes to her grandson, what does it say about you?
Jingle bells, here we come. I can only hope the season is full of festive merriment – for us all.
Katie
Life Is Full of Surprises
‘Oh no, you missed him. He was in this morning and called in again about ten minutes ago with this, for you.’
If only I’d left home a little earlier, I would have caught him. I can’t believe the bad timing. I was secretly hoping he would call in at the end of the day, when it’s quieter. Just like last year. I popped in, hoping to use the excuse that Hazel has a party tonight and she might want to leave early. Guilt floods through me as I realise I can’t even be honest with myself about how I feel about him. It’s quickly replaced by a heart-stopping sense of disappointment.
‘Who? Steve?’ I paste a cheery smile on my face.
‘Don’t pretend you don’t know I’m talking about Adam,’ Hazel declares, hands on hips. ‘Your Adam. And he came back, I’d say on the off chance you’d be here. He obviously wanted to see you. Were you expecting a package?’
She hands me the small parcel which is wrapped in brown paper and has, ‘Katie, Sweet Occasions’ handwritten on the front.
‘No, I wasn’t expecting a parcel. Was Lily with him?’ I ask, rather too casually.
Hazel hesitates.
‘No, he was with his girlfriend.’
I pretend not to be flustered, or devastated, to hear those words. Of course I’m very pleased for him and I try hard to push the negative feelings away.
‘Great!’ The word comes out sounding rather odd. Hazel shoots me a glance, pointing at the parcel.
‘Are you going to open it, then?’
It seems silly to make a big deal out of it. Especially given that his girlfriend accompanied him on his visit. That, in itself, is meaningful and I have no choice but to wish him well. I place the package on the counter top and tear away the wrapping paper. Inside there’s a pretty box. Lifting the lid, there’s a polystyrene case which I lever out to expose an exquisite little snow globe. I lift it carefully from the casing and hold it up.
‘How fab!’ Hazel exclaims. I shake it gently and a cloud of snow descends over the little village scene. ‘It reminds me of one of your Christmas cakes.’
I was thinking exactly the same thing. As I pull off the brown paper wrapping to throw it away, something falls to the floor. It’s a pale yellow sheet of handmade paper, the sort that has an interesting grain. Unfolding it reveals a short note, written in the most exquisite handwriting.
Dear Katie
I simply had to let you know how much I enjoy the wonderful cakes that Adam brings, when he comes to visit me.
They are such a perfect gift and you are a very talented lady. You pour your heart and soul into your creations, and clearly love what you do.
I have a favour to ask and wondered if you wouldn’t mind giving me a call in the next day or two.
Warmest wishes
&nbs
p; Mrs Grace Harper
Homelands, Cheriton Court Mews
05894 516933
‘How very odd,’ I say out loud, looking up at Hazel to gauge her reaction.
‘Perhaps she wants to leave you something in her will,’ Hazel says in a conspiratorial tone.
‘Hazel! I said she wasn’t very well, not that she was on her deathbed. I suspect she wants to place an order for something. It’s no big deal.’
‘What? The grandmother of the man who makes your heart leap, but are too scared to tell, asks you to call her? No big deal, huh?’
My jaw drops open.
‘He’s a nice guy who happens to be easy to talk to, that’s all. I offered to be his emergency contact if he had trouble getting in touch with her by phone. She lives about a ten minute drive away from the shop. Besides, despite living so far away, he is a regular customer. There’s no hidden agenda here, as I’ve told you before.’
Hazel smirks. ‘No need to give me a lecture. I believe you,’ she protests. Then mutters under her breath, ‘Though thousands wouldn’t,’ as she walks away.
I am very surprised by it, though, and more than a little bit intrigued. Walking home I feel a warm glow. Holding this personal little gift feels like a connection to Adam and his family. It’s silly, I know. It’s merely a very sweet gesture from an appreciative, and rather lonely, old lady. Someone who purchases expensive writing paper and a pen that uses old-fashioned, bottled ink. Old values that stem from an upbringing that is full of sweet gestures and little kindnesses. She’s a lady who is appreciative of detail and notices when time, and effort, have been put into something.
I wonder if Adam felt awkward dropping this into the shop. We’re ships that pass in the night, brief acquaintances who happened to cross each other’s path. I doubt he ever thinks about me, except for when he’s placing an order. How I wish I could say the same. He’s become the person who fills my dreams. He has become my guilty pleasure.
For some women it’s chocolate, for me it’s imagining I’m at the lodge with Adam and Lily. Sitting in the garden and relaxing as if that’s where I was always meant to be.
A Little Sugar, A Lot of Love: With cupcakes, coffee and karma Page 15