“You let me sit here with Gabriel, and there was a guy with a gun only a few feet away.” She shot up from her seat and shoved him in the chest. He didn’t move an inch. “Am I okay? No, I’m not anywhere near okay. What the hell is wrong with you, McNeil?”
“Me? I did everything but drag you out by the hair. How dense can one person be?”
Mac’s conversation filtered across her mind. It made little sense in the moment, but now, hell, the man was so clear. Shit!
Mac ruffled her every nerve on a good day. She was just too tired, too stressed to give what he was saying even a momentary thought. He’d tried to warn her, and she missed every clue. God, Gabriel.
“Where is my son?”
“Relax. Gabriel’s fine. He’s with one of my agents.” He reached for her hand, easing her fingers out of a fist. The middle finger hurt the most. He rubbed his thumb and forefinger over the swollen joints. “Doesn’t feel like you broke any bones.” He lifted her chin and studied her neck. “Your hand is going to hurt for a few days.”
“I remember. Rico wasn’t exactly an easy defense trainer.”
The intensity of his stare made her want to lower her eyes, break their connection, but that would be backing down. She would never allow Mac to get the upper hand. “If we’re done, I would like to see my son.”
“He’s right behind you.”
She turned and let out a noisy sigh. A woman held Gabriel in her arms. Tears streaked his soft cheeks, but he was fine. “Oh Gabriel,” she said, reaching for the one person on the planet she loved unconditionally. She moved her hand over his small body. “Are you okay?”
“I threw up.”
“I know, but I bet your tummy feels better.”
“Can I have a popsicle?” He lowered his head to her shoulder.
“As soon as we get home.”
A man dressed in a gray suit approached with her bag in his hand. “So sorry for what just happened. Are you okay?”
Lexie nodded her thanks, heaving the bag over her free shoulder. “I’m fine. I just need to get my son home.”
“Mrs. Trevena, I’m the loan officer, Carl Greene.” He led her a few feet away from Mac. “We can arrange another time to come in and discuss your―”
“What about my loan?”
His expression softened. “If you will allow the bank to use the trust fund as collateral—”
“No. The trust fund goes untouched. Do I qualify on my salary?”
He shook his head, and Lexie’s heart dropped.
Brad Winston had emailed her last week for the first time in two years. Gabriel’s birth mother wanted to meet. Lexie had to be overreacting, but if the woman thought she could take her Gabriel away from her, Lexie planned to have a large influx of money for the fight of her life.
Greene’s comment was the worst possible news: she had nothing. With tears blurring her vision, she said a quick thank you before heading toward the exit. Gabriel’s small arms wrapped securely around her neck anchored her emotions and kept her from breaking down.
“Lexie, wait a sec,” Mac said, crossing the foyer.
“Do you need me to give a statement?” she asked.
“What just happened?”
“Nothing.”
He raked his eyes over her and then at the loan officer. “Don’t lie to me. That wasn’t nothing.”
“It’s none of your business. I need to get Gabriel home.”
“I’ll see you to your car.”
“I can walk to my own car, McNeil.”
“And I’ll walk with you, Trevena.”
The heat of the afternoon hit Lexie the moment she stepped onto the sidewalk, but unlike most people, she enjoyed it. If she were alone, she would lift her face into the sun and allow its warmth to calm her. With Mac at her heels, taking a relaxing moment was out of the question. Clicking the key fob, she opened Gabriel’s side of the car and set her purse on the floorboard.
“Let me take Gabriel,” Mac said right behind her.
“I’m quite capable of putting my son in his car seat.” She set Gabriel down, pulled the car seat strap over his head, and clipped it into place. She pressed her lips on the boy’s forehead and said, “We’ll be home in a few minutes, and I’ll get you all cleaned up.” After shutting the door, she planted a smile on her face.
“Thanks for seeing me to my car.”
Mac leaned against the driver’s door with his hands in his pockets. There was something different in his eyes—not anger, but disappointment. If possible, that look hurt more than his anger.
He broke their connection, shielding his emotions. “Lexie, do you need money?”
She hugged her elbows. “No, I’m fine.”
“If you need—”
“Mac, I’m not taking money from you. Will you please drop it?”
Hardness formed in his expression as he straightened his frame. Time seemed to slow, and the tension between them thickened and intensified. God, he made her so nervous, and if she didn’t get the hell out of there, the tears she had been keeping back were going to break wide open.
A huge part of her wanted to unload everything, the fear and desperation that hit like a ton of bricks the moment she opened the email from Brad Winston, but she kept quiet. Sometimes pride meant carrying a heavy burden. She couldn’t show weakness, especially in front of this man.
Mac reached for the handle and opened her door. Still, she needed to say something to him. “I’m not usually that clueless. I should have picked up on what you were trying to do.”
A smile touched his lips. “You had your mind on a few other things.”
Hell, the man could change from being an irritating jerk to a perfect gentleman on a dime. He was actually trying to be nice to her.
Mac reached for her hand and Lexie stilled as his warmth spread through her. His thumb caressed the tender skin in the center of her palm. He didn’t move an inch, and she could have sworn neither did she, but before she could put any space between them, Mac lowered his head and their lips touched.
Undefined emotions spiked through her every cell as he brushed his lips over hers. She couldn’t stop herself. She deepened the kiss. Mac touched only the tips of her fingers and her lips, but it was as if their bodies meshed with each other. Need she had not felt in years overwhelmed her. She took what her body demanded until one reasonable thought surfaced.
This was Mac McNeil she was kissing as the damn FBI swarmed around them. She could easily lose herself in him; the sensations he dredged up were so strong. But Lexie had been down this road before. It wasn’t a place she would ever revisit. There was too much at stake for her to involve herself in another meaningless relationship.
Lexie turned her head and broke their connection. She inched away, bumping into the door frame. “I can’t… we can’t―”
He didn’t argue with her and even placed more distance between them, which allowed her to drop into the driver’s seat. She took her time adjusting her seat belt across her chest and placing the key in the ignition. She reached for the door, but Mac shut it gently and then tapped on the driver’s window with his knuckle. After lowering the window, she raised her chin and faced him.
“This isn’t over, Lexie.”
His words came out hoarse, sexy as hell, but they hit her like a threat. There wasn’t anything left in her to argue with him. Instead, she took the chicken way out and drove out of the lot. His intoxicating herbal scent clung to her, as did the feel and taste of him. It was going to be a long time before she got that kiss out of her system. It wasn’t until she reached the next block that her response formed in her head.
Like hell, it isn't.
Three
“I’ll say it one more time. I’m not hung up on Mac McNeil. The man drives me insane.” Lexie took another bite of the most scrumptious chocolate cream doughnut she’d ever put in her mouth and set it on the plate.
Marcus was a genius when it came to food, a master chef and baker extraordinaire at the smal
l café and used bookstore he opened with Cole almost three years ago. They had also been her rock since the day she moved into the apartment across the hallway, first helping her deal with Rico’s death, then his betrayal. That they both fell hard for Gabriel was heaven-sent.
At that moment, however, she wanted to kick both their butts. Her friends had crossed the line and arranged a blind date behind her back. To be perfectly honest, she did have a slight hand in the mess she was in. Under the influence of too much wine, she agreed to sign up for a dating service, but she sobered up and came to her senses. Maybe she should take some blame, but she wasn’t in a reasonable state of mind.
That kiss from Mac three days before still muddled her mind. She could still taste him, feel his strength in a simple touch. If this was the side effect from the first kiss in more than two years, the last thing she needed was to throw another man in the mix.
Except for the threat of Gabriel’s birth mother showing up in her backyard, she was very pleased with the life she’d mapped out for her and Gabriel. It took her an extra year, but she finally earned her degree in engineering, and for the last five months, she was proudly working at an up-and-coming tech company. Why mess all that up with a date?
And of course, they both waited until the last minute to tell her of an impending date and added another ounce of guilt by pointing out to her that to cancel at this late hour was just tacky. Yep, she was definitely going to kick their butts.
“Scoot over,” Cole said, easing his six-foot frame around the small island in her kitchen. He held up a pair of dangling earrings next to her ear. “Nice. These are perfect with that outfit.”
“I’m not wearing an outfit, and this isn’t a date.”
“Well, then, why are you getting so pissed about meeting some guy for coffee?”
“Mommy’s pissed,” Gabriel laughed, then covered his mouth with his small hands.
“Gabriel, don’t say pissed.” Lexie gave Cole a hard glare he ignored. “The reason I don’t want to go,” she added, “is I’ve been up for almost eighteen hours, ten of which I worked.”
“It’s just coffee, Lexie, and at our place. You have home court advantage,” Marcus said, sitting at the bar.
All Lexie wanted to do was lie next to Gabriel and read A Giraffe and a Half for the hundredth time as he fell asleep curled in her arms. What was wrong with that? Cole and Marcus meant well, but the idea of sitting across from some guy and making small talk churned the acid in her stomach. Men and her ego rarely match.
Cole set a hand on her shoulder. “Look, I’ll come by in about twenty minutes and check up on you. If you want out, just give me a sign, and I’ll get you out of there. You need to get out some, find some love in your life.”
“I have wonderful, loving men in my life. I don’t need another one.”
“I’m not talking about love, and you know it,” Cole murmured.
“I love you, Mommy,” Gabriel said as he used his finger to put lip gloss from Lexie’s lips on his own.
“See?” she said, nodding at her son. “I already have the perfect man.”
“If you chicken out of this date, the next hook-up I arrange will be with a certain FBI agent. I know who the man is and how to get in touch with him,” Cole threatened.
Lexie punched her elbow into his abdomen. “Don’t you ever do that, Cole Guzman,” she threatened under her breath. Cole wiped the lip gloss off Gabriel’s finger, then lifted him into his arms. “Kiss your son goodnight,” he said, leaning Gabriel down. Lexie planted a kiss on each cheek. Cole edged around her and headed toward Gabriel’s bedroom. “I’ll see you in about thirty minutes.”
“You said twenty minutes.”
He shut the door in her face.
Lexie loved the warm, pleasant evenings in Austin, and sitting on the plant-covered patio of the coffee house was one of her favorite things to do. But was she enjoying herself?
Not in the least.
Lexie couldn’t put her finger on the why, but everything about the date made her uncomfortable.
The man in front of her was Ryan something. She was so nervous when he introduced himself, she didn’t hear his last name and was hoping for some way to get him to repeat it. He was being a perfect gentleman, and from what she could tell in fifteen minutes, he was even a nice guy.
Dressed in a black T-shirt, black jeans, and a sports coat, some would consider him good looking. Okay, strikingly attractive―windblown, blond hair, firm jaw, and a sexy smile. He was freakin’ eye candy.
As dates go, he was very attentive, intelligent, well spoken, and actually seemed interested in what she said. He was the perfect guy, and they were having a perfect date. Lexie no longer believed in perfect.
There were good, honest men in the world. Ryan What’s-His-Name had a fifty-fifty percent chance of being one of the good guys. He said the right things, and seemed to do the right things. It wasn’t his fault that she judged him against every man who had ever hurt her.
There simply wasn’t anything warm and fuzzy about him. She couldn’t picture him and Gabriel tossing a ball in the park or him kneeling down and cleaning up puke off a bank lobby floor.
“Is something wrong?”
Lexie glanced up at Ryan. “No. Why do you ask?”
“Did someone just step across your grave?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
He glanced at his watch. “It’s early. Why don’t we get out of here and do something? Austin has a great nightlife.”
“Sorry, not tonight.”
“How about dinner somewhere…”
“Ryan, I don’t know what my profile said, but I’m a single mother of a two-year-old who is up at the crack of dawn.”
He studied her for a moment, “What do you mean you don’t know what your profile says? You created it, right?”
“Well, not really. I have two meddling friends who thought I needed to get into the dating scene. They set this up.”
“Thank them for me. I’m glad I got to meet you. Go ahead and ragged to me about your ex-husband, and I’ll listen. He’s a real jerk for letting you go.”
Lexie let out a breath through her teeth. There was no way she was going to spill her entire life story tonight, no matter how nice Ryan was trying to be. “I’m a widow. My husband was a federal agent and died on the job.”
“I’m so sorry. How long ago?”
“Two years this month.” She rose, joining her hands in front of her. “Ryan, I don’t think I’m ready for this.”
He stood. “Look, I get it, but don’t just run off. Can I at least have your number?”
Her heart thumped, hard. “I don’t know if—”
“How about if I give you my number to keep in your phone? One day when you are ready, give me a call.”
“That is really sweet, but you don’t have to do that.”
“I travel a lot and don’t have the time to meet someone like you, Lexie. It’s just a phone number. Use it or don’t use it.”
Lexie reached for the cell she’d left next to her coffee. Getting his number didn’t seem threatening, and he really wanted to see her again, which confused her even more. He reached for her hand and removed her cell phone. After punching a ten-digit number into the screen, he handed it back to her.
“Next time we meet, it will be your choice.” He held her hand for an instant, then let it go. She dropped it to her side, rubbing her palm on her skirt.
“It was very nice meeting you, Lexie. Dawn comes really early. I’ll let you get home to your child. Can I walk you to your car?”
Lexie pointed to the sedan only a few yards away. “I’m right there,” she said. There were a few things she was really bad at, and dating just topped her list.
“I’m back behind the café. So…”
“It was nice to meet you, Ryan.”
“Liar,” he said with a grin.
“Would I completely destroy this evening if I said it’s not you?”
Ryan pushed his
chair under the table and moved to stand next to her. “Grief lives on its own timetable.” He tapped the phone she still clutched in her hand. “Don’t delete my number, Lexie. I want to see you again.”
She could only nod. Ryan turned and headed down the sidewalk. She turned toward her car, and under her breath murmured, “Cole and Marcus, I’m seriously going to kick your butts into next Tuesday if you ever do this to me again.”
Four
Mac strolled into the break room and headed straight for the coffee carafe. Popping the lid off his Thermos, he filled it to the rim. The rich, aromatic scent of hot, fresh brew wafted into his nostrils. He gulped down a couple of times, ignoring his scorched tongue.
He needed the caffeine pumped directly into his veins.
Why the hell had he kissed Lexie Trevena? That question had cursed through his head for days. It had been the last thing on his mind when he walked her to her car. He couldn’t even remember who made the first move. There had to be some kind of bro-code etched in stone that he’d crossed. Besides, mixing his dreams with his reality was never a good thing.
He needed a distraction, something that would consume his focus. Replacing the carafe on its stand, Mac scanned the office. Three of his team members gathered around the center desk. One agent let out a loud laugh and made the mistake of looking in his direction.
Mac didn’t have to hear their conversation. They were still rehashing the sting operation. He might have received the credit for putting Horde behind bars, but he would never live that day down. Lexie Trevena, who had to be 115 pounds soaking wet, took down Horde while Mac stood a foot away with vomit dripping off his shirt.
Maybe he should find something to laugh about, too. He was thick-skinned. Let the teasing fly. It was what could have happened that stirred the acid in his gut.
The moments when Horde took Lexie hostage, his arm crushing her throat, played over again in his head, and his idiotic team stood there laughing at him.
He took in another swig of coffee, headed toward his office, and stopped short. Shit.
His brother, Jason sat in Mac’s chair, his legs resting on his desk like he owned the place. He was reading the Horde file with a stupid-ass grin on his face.
In the Shadow of Pride Book 4 Page 3