* I have grown to understand that the good things are the bad ones. I now know what true value is. Value isn’t the sweet stuff, but the bitter. I now value pain, confusion, betrayal, rejection, ungratefulness, and disappointment. I value bad people more than the good. The bad ones are the ones who made me cry until I recalled there is God in heaven. God who truly loves. My heart used those people as a staircase to the throne of God where everything good is abundant.
* Lord, I must admit, I wasn’t sure who was number one in my life between you and Grace. I loved her enough to be mixed up in my heart. As awkward as it may sound, but I’m somewhat relieved she devalued herself in me. That has given me the opportunity to put things in the right order. I mean, I would be happy when she was happy. I would be at peace when on good terms with her. But that changes right now. She will never determine my joy, peace, and hope. Only you, Lord, will control those critical things in me.
I booted the laptop feeling like I was booting my old daily work routine: working on the blog in the mornings and praying in the afternoons. Indeed, my yesterdays were gone. I only had to focus on today whilst anticipating tomorrow. Instead of starting work, I found myself back to my notebook writing a poem:
Yesterday’s family, today’s graves, tomorrow’s memories
Yesterday’s wife, today’s betrayer, tomorrow’s enemy
Yesterday’s maid, today’s friend, tomorrow’s wife
Yesterday’s darling, today’s demon, tomorrow’s disaster
Yesterday’s friends, today’s enemies, tomorrow’s crucifiers
~
Yesterday’s hope, today’s disappointment, tomorrow’s regret
Yesterday’s love, today’s hell, tomorrow’s regret
Yesterday’s promises, today’s excuses, tomorrow’s disappointments
Yesterday’s trust, today’s doubt, tomorrow’s treachery
~
Yesterday’s love, today’s hatred, tomorrow’s murder
Yesterday’s promise, today’s lies, tomorrow’s deceit
Yesterday’s help, today’s ungratefulness, tomorrow’s disappointment
Yesterday’s wealth, today’s burden, tomorrow’s liability
~
Yesterday’s husband, today’s ex, tomorrow’s enemy
Yesterday’s soul, today’s ghost, tomorrow’s terror
Yesterday’s sweetheart, today’s swine, tomorrow’s imbecile
Yesterday’s friend, today’s boss, tomorrow’s enemy
~
Yesterday’s beauty, today’s flop, tomorrow’s shame
Yesterday’s wisdom, today’s foolishness, tomorrow’s crime
Yesterday’s knowledge, today’s obstacles, tomorrow’s jokes
Yesterday’s dream, today’s silliness, tomorrow’s joke
Yesterday’s lives, today’s memories, tomorrow’s stories
~
Yesterday’s wife, today’s opponent, tomorrow’s ex
Yesterday’s lovely babies, today’s dropouts, tomorrow’s menace
Yesterday’s girls, today’s addicts, tomorrow’s whores
Yesterday’s boys, today’s gangs, tomorrow’s thugs
~
Yesterday’s kings, today’s slaves, tomorrow’s history
Yesterday’s power, today’s idiocy, tomorrow’s shame
Yesterday’s angels, today’s demons, tomorrow’s problems
Yesterday’s anointing, today’s obstacle, tomorrow’s religion
~
Yesterday’s God, Today’s God, Tomorrow’s God
Yesterday’s Christ, Today’s Christ, Tomorrow’s Christ
Yesterday’s Spirit, Today’s Spirit, Tomorrow’s Spirit
~
It’s clear now
Time ticks
People change
People change
People change
Things change
But God doesn’t
He never changes
He is the same yesterday, today, and forever
Chloe knocked once and came in. “El, Detective Howell on the phone. It’s like he wants to ask you something about Grace’s favorite restaurants and meals.”
“Okay.” I nodded, realizing how beautiful Chloe was. It was as if I was staring at some treasure that had been hidden for ages. I hadn’t noticed her gold long hair glowed like a chandelier made of gold. If she joined the Miss America pageant, no doubt, she could be the queen: tall, perfect figure, perfect long face. Her voice wa –
“Elijah. You heard what I said? The detective sounded like it’s urgent.”
“Oh yes, by the way,” I said and walked to the dining room. “Why didn’t he call my cell phone?”
DAY 25
ELIJAH
Friday, February 10, 2017
1:03 PM
I stopped praying and walked towards my office desk. Slowly but surely, I was getting used to my daily work schedule again. Yes, it was still awkward without Grace, but I managed to push myself. I pulled my notebook and wrote two things after switching the lights on – it was dim since the sun was blocked by black clouds:
--Friday, February 10, 2017--
* Now I know what a journey is. It is this thing that you start with throngs of people but finish alone. The last one to drop is your wife. When she drops, it is a sign that you are about to reach your destination and please God with your life. However, if she does not drop, but gets to the destination – still with you, still holding on to you – still encouraging you – know very well you are the luckiest man alive, you got a gem. Treasure her, love her for that’s God’s blessing you have gotten. That’s a super woman.
* There comes a time when only God believes in you, everybody else considers you a moron. At that time you should rely and joy only in Him.
* It’s always easy to forgive until you have been wronged and betrayed by the one you love and trust. But even then you must forgive and move on. What else can you do?
Chloe knocked. I couldn’t believe her. I suspected probably, she had read my eyes and had seen the love for her growing in me. Ever since I resumed full time work in my office she would disturb me during the afternoons whilst praying.
She knocked again. I said nothing. There was no need to, I had explained to her that she shouldn’t disturb me after lunch because it’s usually prayer time. But she didn’t listen and proceeded to behave like an animal in heat.
She knocked again. I thought of opening for her. My anger was diluted by compassion. She seemed to be madly in love with me. She must have noticed the love for her. While I searched for Grace, she never fought to be where I was to chat with me about silly, petty stuff. I only had to open up and tell her my heart.
She knocked again. “Please open, El. It will take a second.”
I laughed. “Nope. Yesterday you said the same thing and I ended up cancelling four hours of prayer.”
The door clicked open and she came in giggling.
“How did you open? I locked the door.”
“Locked. Are you sure?”
“Very sure!”
She giggled. “How did I open if you had locked?”
“You know what Chloe? Wait for me in the living room. Watch TV or something, I’ll be out by four.”
“Four. Three hours left. Why do you pray so much? It’s boring.”
“Yeah, today I need four hours in total. I’m praying for one hundred and fifty people today.”
“One fifty!? Who are these people? Do they pay you?”
I laughed. “Of course not. They don’t even know they’re in my notebook. It’s everybody I know. You’re also inside here.”
“One fifty a day! How many do you have in total?”
“I can’t remember the exact number but it’s a little above four thousand.”
“Four thousand! You don’t even get paid. But it looks bad. Here you are praying for strangers when your wife is still missing. If I were you, I would continue looking for her and forget this boring thing.”
“Chloe, our story is a long, long one. I told you she cheated; she is not even missing, but she ran away with a millionaire.”
“So you think –”
“Chloe, even yesterday you did the same thing.” I laughed and pushed her out of my office. “Today, I ain’t losing another three hours.” She giggled and moved out. I locked the door and continued praying.
After a few minutes Chloe knocked again. I sighed. “Jesus.” I ignored her and continued praying.
The door clicked opened.
“Chloe, please, I’ll be out soon, you’re disturbing me. How did you open the door anyway? This time I’m sure it was locked.”
“I told you to stop this stupid praying,” Chloe screamed.
“Why? Why are you angry?”
“Consider yourself warned.”
“Warned!” I drew close to her face. “Who do you think you are? This is my life. My house,” I screamed.
“You want to know me?” Chloe shouted with a deep voice. A voice of a man. “You want to know me? Huh?”
I reversed. “What’s up with the big voice? Get out of my office.”
“What?” Chloe screamed. Her voice sounded like a lion roared. “Who do you think you are?” she slapped me on my chest and I fell on the desk, breaking it and crushing the laptop.
“Jesus.”
“That’s the problem. Why do you call that man?”
I rubbed my face, removing the milk and coffee powder on my face. I jumped to my feet, blinking endlessly, trying to gaze at Chloe. But my eyes swelled, they almost fell out of their sockets. I reversed until I hit the wall. She looked like a giant crocodile. She had four legs, a long tail, a long neck, and wings. Her head was still Chloe’s head but it was bigger. She was big.
She faced up and roared. The whole house shook. Fire broke out of her mouth. Then an explosion like a bomb had gone off followed. It threw me onto the roof then back to the floor. I blinked but the house was smoky. I couldn’t see anything. But when the smoke subsided, I discovered that the entire roof and part of the wall were destroyed for Chloe was even bigger than the house. She was a huge dragon, roaring endlessly. Each roar was accompanied by bolts of thunder and lightning.
The house was hot as a furnace. I almost wet my trousers. I was grossly confused and terrified.
She lowered her long neck, trying to locate me down in the rubble she created out of my house. I didn’t know what to do. I jerked to my wobbling legs and ran towards the window but she grabbed me and smashed me on the wall.
“Jesus, my God,” I screamed, crying. Instantly, I lost brakes and peed.
She roared strongly and jumped to chop me with her claws. But fire came out of my mouth and burned her long neck. I was amazed. I staggered to my feet watching her jump up and down with her hind legs in pain.
She glared down at me, deep hatred on her face. “We own this city. We own New York City. You continue disturbing us with your stupid prayers then you are a dead, stupid man. Stop ruining our kingdom. Every department fails to function when you keep on praying. Get that.” She tapped her wound. “A month ago, we had to harvest: a lot of blood from an Albany train but we couldn’t do it. The accident never materialized because of you. The immorality department, the… every department is suffocating because of you. All princes of New York are suffocating because of you and your stupid prayers. You must die. Today,” she roared, still in pain. She continuously tapped the wound with her claws. “Why don’t you get a job and work for your children. People like you are a snare; they don’t deserve to live. When we ran Babylon that fool called Daniel disturbed us. When we ran the Roman Empire John troubled us. When we –”
“Jesus Christ, help me, my God. This battle is not mine but yours. It’s far bigger than me.”
“Stop calling that man.” Chloe jumped again to crush me, but a lake of fire escaped my mouth and torched both her front feet. They were completely burned, but no blood gushed out. She could not even step on them. She stood on hind legs jumping up and down twitching and roaring in great pain.
Dimly, I saw Kim running on the rubble coming towards me calling, “Daddy. Daddy.”
When I took a step to take her Chloe blew out a blanket of fire to consume me and Kim but it was quenched like she blew it to the sea.
“Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.” I screamed. I gazed at Chloe and blew towards her. A ball of fire lifted from my stomach and escaped my mouth. It was as big as a ten story building. When Chloe saw it coming towards her she flew away.
“I will be back Elijah Turner. I’ll be back.” She roared. “That’s a promise. I never lose.”
The ball of fire encircled by reverberating bolts of thunder and lightning pursued her. It pursued her over Long Island. She flew into the Atlantic Ocean. The fire also followed her into the waters, leaving them bluish and raving.
“Thank you, God,” I said, staggering about, extremely dizzy and with dimmed vision. When I recalled that I saw Kim running towards me, I panicked and started looking for her in the rubble. I feared the beast flew with her to the sea. But then my vision became dimmer and dimmer and dimmer. The rubble –
4:22 PM
A tiny, cold hand touched my forehead and shook my head violently and desperately. “Daddy. Daddy.”
Dimly I saw Kim. She was distorted. “What?” I said with a sleepy voice.
I blinked, shook my head, trying to recollect where I was.
As soon as I recalled the war with Chloe, I jumped to my feet and kissed and hugged my baby. But then I was confused because I was lying down on the carpet in my office, not on a pile of rubble. My office was intact, nothing was burned and broken. The roof was intact. I put Kim down and ran all over the house, Kim following me. The entire house was intact. No part of it was burned or a pile of debris.
When I was about to conclude it was all a bad, bad dream and that Chloe wasn’t a sea monster, Kim said, “Daddy, I saw you fighting with Chloe.”
“Sit down here,” I said, pointing at the couch. Kim sat down and I sat next to her. “This Chloe you saw me fighting, what did she look like?”
“Dad, Chloe is a dragon. She has always been a dragon.”
My mouth became sticky, and I swallowed lots of saliva. I stared at Kim. “What do you mean she has always been a dragon?”
“Dad. Aunt Chloe would change and be a nice dragon when alone with me. She has big powers like Harry Potter, Dad. She would change to a big, cool dragon. She would cough out fire like a real dragon on TV.”
“But why didn’t you tell us all this? Your mom and me. Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I told you but you didn’t listen.”
“I don’t remember. You told us? No.”
Kim giggled, pointing at my trousers. “You peed on your pants, Dad.”
“Kim, focus. Let’s finish talking about Chloe. When did you tell us she is a monster?”
“I did Dad. I even drew her in my drawing book, but you and Mom told me to never draw it.”
“Go and get your drawing book.”
She ran upstairs and came back with it. I took it and opened until I reached the picture she was talking about. Indeed, she was right. She had drawn the entire family with a pet that looked like a snake, a dragon. We all had our names written on our chests – DAD, MOM, LEON, KIM, GRANDMA but on the dragon she wrote AUNT CHLOE.
“What did we say when you showed us this picture?”
“You told me you’ll spank me if I insult Aunt Chloe by drawing her as a snake again. You said, ‘How could you draw her as our pet, a snake for that matter.’”
“I don’t know what to say, darling.”
“It’s okay Dad. We all make mistakes. But she is gone now. I saw the fire that came out of your mouth chasing her to the beach. That was cool Dad. How did you do it? You have got to teach me.”
“Sweetheart, what else did she do with you?”
“Nothing. Oh, no Dad, there is one thing: she drank some red grape juice every day, from under her bed, but she refuse
d to let me taste it even once. She kept lying, saying it is human blood, she will give me when I’m twelve.”
I grabbed Kim and hugged her very tightly. “I love you, my baby.”
“I love you too Dad. But we have to celebrate now. I saw chocolate ice cream in the fridge.”
I laughed.
DAY 26
ELIJAH
Saturday, February 11, 2017
9:10 AM
My call to go for tea and bread sandwich fell on deaf ears. Kim was not yet satisfied we had done justice to the snowman we had revived. She still wanted to add some more accessories. “See Dad. Now she looks like a cute girl,” she said after putting the hat on her head. She had even forgotten she was standing on my hands. She just took her time chipping the snowman’s head on both sides. Then she took out her pink shades from her pocket and put on the snowman. “She looks pretty now. She –” She paused. “Mom! Mom! Mom!” She screamed and jumped off my hand. But she couldn’t land properly on the ground. She fell on the snowman and crumbled it to a pile of snow.
For a second, I was confused how Kim could give her heart out to build a snowman and then crush it in a second. But I got the reason when I promptly bent to pick her up from the snow. She had seen Grace at the gate.
She jumped to her feet and ran to her screaming, “Mom! Mom! Mom!” She threw herself into her arms, laughing, screaming. Grace caught her in the air. She kissed her all over her giggling face.
I walked back to the house to have coffee and sandwich.
11:03 AM
Grace took a tissue on the edge of the bed and wiped tears running down her cheeks.
“Elijah, I fantasized about being reunited with you – my family a thousand times. But you give me this. I thought you would jump up and down when you saw me.”
Wicked Girl (THE FIRE Book 1) Page 26