by J. M. Miller
Xavyn squatted beside me, and Haidee grabbed a broom.
“I’m worried,” she said as she dumped the last of the glass in the waste bin, breaking the silence we’d been working in. “I’m not asking you to explain everything, but I don’t understand why you’ve changed your mind about the Trials, about wanting to go with Caulden when he leaves.”
“There’s a reason for everything, Haidee,” I replied, choosing to hold my plans from her for a little while longer. In time—however long it was that I’d remain on the island—I’d tell her the truth. I’d tell her goodbye. “Queen Havilah is hurting too. She’s losing her kingdom. She’s losing her son. I realize that she’s angry and hurt by all of it. I have no idea what her plans may be. But it would be better for everyone if he just accepted I’m not going with him.”
Xavyn’s gray eyes slid to me, but I kept mine on Haidee, watching her lips tip down for a moment before she nodded and gathered a few stray plaits that had fallen over her face, tucking them behind an ear.
“All right, Vala,” she said, straightening up. “We should leave so we aren’t late. I’ll be outside.” I nodded and watched her pull the door open, but she stopped short. “Leint. What are you doing here?”
I froze for a moment then instinctively shoved Xavyn toward the bedroom. If he was seen by anyone else, everything would fall apart. Leint replied something I couldn’t hear as Xavyn and I moved quietly, our eyes pinned on Haidee. We closed ourselves into the bedroom, leaving a crack to peek through where we saw Haidee take a last step outside and close the door behind her. Her voice remained loud enough to hear but not make out the words.
I turned around to Xavyn and found myself staring at the shirt covering his chest. I hadn’t realized how closely his body had been leaning behind me. His hand propped high against the wall right below the ceiling and his face leaned close to the crack in the door. I tipped my head back and watched his face tilt down to see me. The light from the window was stronger now, highlighting the slope of his nose, the peaks of his lips, which tipped up slightly. My body wasn’t prepared for the closeness and the feeling that came with it, like strength and weakness mixing as one thrilling rush of energy.
“I should … go,” I whispered so softly I wondered if I’d said it at all. My heartbeat was louder, pounding hard against my chest, pulsing inside my ears.
“Will you be all right?”
I stared at his lips as he spoke, trying to focus on his words and not the feel of him surrounding me. “Yes.”
His eyes closed for a lengthy blink. “Remember, you decide. Anytime.” He glanced through the crack again, double-checking the empty room. “Even now.”
“If I hear nothing today, then we’ll go tomorrow,” I decided, knowing it would be the best time. “The Trials will have everyone busy. You won’t be seen leaving, and I can sneak away at some point.”
He leaned in closer for a moment before pushing his whole body back, letting air rush between us. “Be careful today.”
I smiled at his concern. “I will.” Opening the door a little wider, I looked back at him. “After seeing you this morning, I couldn’t imagine anyone, even humans, not offering you wine or a bed.”
His eyebrows quirked then the corner of his mouth twitched just before I closed the door.
TWENTY-THREE
The morning passed in a blur of silence and hushed whispers much like the previous day, only with more Guard and servant chatter about the impending Trials. Haidee and Leint went about their usual routine with Caulden, and I spent the morning posted outside the princess’ southern rooms. The only interaction I had was a trespassing beetle traveling the hallway. I thought of crushing it, even went as far as to lift my boot, but in the end, even though it was positioned to squeeze its way beneath the princess’ door, I let it go.
The princess emerged hours after midday, clothed in a simple dress made from very few layers of white and orange silk with her hair plaited and wrapped in a large coil atop her head. We met with Queen Meirin in the dining hall where they ate by themselves. Queen Havilah and Prince Caulden were nowhere to be found. Since the Trials had been moved up, I would have assumed the prince and princess to use any extra time getting better acquainted. It made me wonder if there was a reason they were apart, but I stopped wondering when I remembered that it was no longer a concern of mine. Caulden would leave with Anja soon enough, but I was leaving sooner. And I could only hope from then on, I wouldn’t have to worry about our paths crossing again. I didn’t want to think what would happen if they did.
The queen and princess chatted lazily about communications with Islain, their council, and small issues that were being taken care of there. I screened all of their words, but none were about Sacred Lake, its water, Vaenen, any of the goddesses, or even the mourning flowers. When they finished eating, they chose to take a walk for some air.
“So, Vala,” Queen Meirin called back to me after we exited the chateau and moved out into the gardens. I tensed, keeping my focus on her lengthy blue cloak as it dragged behind her like a gown’s train, clearing some dirt from the slate pathway. Transton and Prins slowed, allowing me to pass them and move closer to the queen and princess.
I’d expected her to keep talking, so when she stopped, I gave a head bow. “Yes, Your Majesty?”
She squinted her eyes then turned to continue walking. “My daughter tells me you’ve always been this way.”
“Mother! Honestly.” Anja huffed. “The poor thing has been through enough without us bothering her.”
Thing. Thing. Poor thing. I gritted my teeth beneath my mask and clenched my hands at my sides. That was all I was. Thing.
“I’m just trying to talk to her. I think she’s exceptional. And if Queen Havilah can’t see that then she is the one who has the problem. You have a gift, young one, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. Do you believe it was a curse that made you what you are?”
“Mother,” Anja murmured in warning. “Don’t.”
“Anja, don’t make me send you back to your room,” she said with a squeaky laugh that made her whole body shake and shimmy.
What you are. “I do not know, Your Majesty,” I answered, making my voice as stolid as possible.
They walked through the largest arbor, keeping a steady course through the garden without paying mind to any of the plants. They’d been here long enough to not care much anymore, I supposed.
“Pity you don’t know. Because I think the idea of anything magic is simply amazing. We haven’t seen it in a thousand years. You being so different is obviously a sign, don’t you think?”
“I do not know, Your Majesty,” I repeated.
“Well, I happen to think so. I also think it’s fateful that you should be found here on this island, so far away from the magic lands that have been sealed for so long. Curious actually.”
I looked at the chateau, watching the queen’s two guards keeping speed with us while walking the pathway closer to the building.
“What else is curious about this place is its lack of birds. This island isn’t so far away from Islain’s coasts to prevent birds from traveling here. Any could make the journey, especially with the ability to rest on the archipelagos close to either coast and even the trade ships. You have some gulls down at the port that harass the fishermen. So where are the rest? You see, I’m a huge collector of feathers. That’s why I’m interested. I love all kinds, but the rarer the better. Have you seen any here, Vala?”
“No, Your Majesty,” I said, curious as to her point. It was something that we all here had wondered, but why would she have noticed or cared? Because of a collection?
Quicker than I even realized, we came to the end of the walkway, the last steps before the queen’s conservatory. “Shame,” Queen Meirin replied. “I would pay handsomely if anyone were to find one, of course. Big or little, dull or vibrant. I have no preference. I just like rare things. And a feather on an island without birds is rare indeed.”
Feathers. �
�Do you like pheasant feathers?” I asked before I could stop myself. Asking her anything was a huge risk, but with how talkative she was being, I felt comfortable taking a chance to get some answers. Captain Baun had said the fletching used by the archer assassin had been pheasant feather, which Leint had said was a bird native to eastern Islain.
“Pheasant?”
“Striped,” Anja said, as if the queen needed reminding.
“Oh, yes. They are pretty.” Queen Meirin stopped in front of Queen Havilah’s sentinels, Bransley and Lato, standing at the oak and metal doors, who bowed and opened them for our entry. “They dwell not far from our palace. We hunt and eat them quite often. The feathers are also used in arrows for our army archers, too. Nothing to waste. Maybe you’ll get to see them or even hunt them … when you come with us.”
Anja hissed quietly, and I stared at the back of both of their heads, stunned by what she’d said. “Mother, that’s for her to decide. She has a lot to deal with as it is, and you haven’t even extended a proper invite.”
With only a thin fog during the day and a strong sun not long from setting, the conservatory had warmed considerably. But it could have also been my heat, fueled by an uncomfortable situation and by thoughts of feathers and assassins. When I thought the situation wouldn’t get worse, I spotted Queen Havilah at the end of the building, sitting near her precious mourning flower. Her eyes were already locked upon us intruders. She was on her feet within a second, not waiting for us to approach. Her green dress billowed out alongside her, bouncing lightly with each hurried step.
She bowed her head and offered a twitch of her lips, barely passable as a smile. Her long black hair was loose, some locks tumbling over each shoulder. It was obvious she hadn’t anticipated visitors. “Queen Meirin. Princess Anja. I do hope you are enjoying this lovely day.”
“We are, thank you,” Queen Meirin replied sweetly, bowing her head also. “We thought it would be good to visit here again, study all your lovely plants and flowers.”
“Please enjoy yourselves,” she replied with a low swing of her arm. “I have matters to attend to, but I also require Vala for the remainder of the day. I sent Captain Baun to fetch her only moments ago. When he reports back to me, I’ll have him send a replacement should you require one.”
“That’s very kind. Thank you, Majesty,” the princess replied.
Everyone stepped aside, allowing Queen Havilah to pass. She moved swiftly, not waiting for me to follow. Transton and Prins eyed me as I stepped around them and hurried behind the queen. I caught up as the sentinels opened the doors for her. When we cleared the threshold, she slowed her pace, and as soon as the doors closed, she stopped entirely and turned.
“Vala,” she said. “I have some things to tell you, none of which can be discussed here. It has to be somewhere private.”
“Your Majesty?” I asked, thoroughly puzzled.
“You have to know it’s very important that we speak.” She smoothed her fingers down the front stitching of her dress. “I know you are not happy with me after the way I acted yesterday. But there are reasons … I want you to go home and get some sleep tonight. Meet me at the lake before dawn. That’ll give us plenty of time to discuss things before tomorrow’s Trials begin, before people assemble by the course.”
“I—I’m not sure I understand.”
“Do as I ask, and tell no one.” She looked around again then started walking, this time waiting for me to follow off to her side. “I have much to explain to you, and it can’t be done in the chateau.”
Captain Baun exited one of the closest doors and met us along the pathway. He had walked along the border that Queen Meirin’s guards had. I looked around, suddenly aware that they had not been inside the conservatory and were nowhere to be seen outside either.
“News?” Queen Havilah asked.
“None worthy of note.” The captain looked at me for only a moment, face as stoic as ever. “The course is finished. A good portion of the Guard will participate tomorrow. They know to show at midday.”
“And the man called Xavyn or the raven?”
“The raven hasn’t been spotted since the vineyard. No signs of the man either.”
“Do we think he is gone then?”
“There’s no telling, Majesty. We’re prepared for tomorrow. All the Guards have his description. And the port still has plenty of protection too.”
“Good,” she said, pulling some of her hair forward and running her fingers through it while staring at me. “I instructed Vala to go home for the evening. I need to meet with her tomorrow. Please send a replacement to watch the princess in her stead. Also, make sure they leave my conservatory soon. I don’t cherish the thought of them poking around in there.”
“Anything else, Majesty?” he asked.
“Find Caulden and give him the same updates. I want him aware despite the distractions.”
I looked at the captain, watching his movements and remembering all the times I’d been instructed by him. His face seemed the same. Firm, placid expression. But maybe there was something less there now. I thought about the pheasant information, considered telling him on the spot. For some reason, though, the urge to report to him wasn’t pressing in its usual way. Maybe I was viewing him as differently as he was me.
After a nod from the captain, the queen marched away and gave a brief glance back to me before entering the chateau.
Captain Baun stood in front of me, his body entirely blocking out the setting sun beyond the chateau wall. Rays of light and fog projected behind him, creating an almost cheerful glow that looked wrong surrounding his dark leather armor. “Did she give you more details for tomorrow?”
“Yes, Captain, but I was instructed not to tell anyone.”
“Good.” He pushed his shoulders back and adjusted his sword and belt on his wide waist. “Be alert, Vala. We’ve heard that Xavyn was spotted close to the chateau. It’s best to be on guard at all times.”
“Yes,” I agreed while wondering where he’d gotten the information. Had someone seen Xavyn before he’d gone to Saireen’s house?
“On your way then.”
I nodded, almost expecting something else. Perhaps I was thinking about my own farewell, wanting to express one to him in some way in case I didn’t see him again. Instead, I thought about the pheasant, curious about something else. “Captain,” I called before he turned to leave. When he replied with a silent questioning look, I added, “Where is the palace located in Islain?” I’d learned it long ago on a map of Caulden’s, and it could have been said a millions times before the queen and princess’ arrival, but I didn’t pay much mind, probably because somewhere inside I knew I would never travel there.
“Tamir Palace is in Sunsea, near the coast of the southwestern slope.” He tilted his head in question. “Why is it that you’re asking? Did Queen Meirin or Princess Anja mention something to you?”
“No,” I replied, shuffling all the information in my mind. The queen said they dwelled near the palace, and also that her armies used the feathers. Did that mean they could have sent the assassins? And what about Leint? Had he been mistaken when saying they were native to another region? He hadn’t lived in Islain for years. He could have forgotten information he had learned in his youth. But doubt was also creeping into my thoughts. Could he be involved too? There was no way to accuse the queen or Leint without more evidence. But I was also readying to leave, so there would be no time.
“Vala? Is there something you want to say?”
“No, Captain. I think I should go get some sleep like the queen instructed.” And tell Xavyn everything I’d heard.
TWENTY-FOUR
I’d intended to tell Xavyn everything—everything Queen Meirin said, all about the cryptic meeting Queen Havilah invited me to, the information from Captain Baun—hoping he could help sort out what it all meant. Or if any of it should matter with our departure. There was only one problem. He wasn’t in Saireen’s house when I’d arrived, and he didn�
�t return anytime during the night. I worried, pacing the floor for a good portion of the evening. He knew it wasn’t safe to leave. By now, every Guard on the island could identify him in human skin. There was no way I could search the island. Not only was it impossible to do in one night, but it could possibly raise suspicion should anyone see. The most inconspicuous place to search was Florisa’s Cove, but I didn’t frequent the taverns, and there was no real guarantee he would even bother going there over any other place or even going back to Sacred Lake. Unless that was where he kept his boat.
That spawned a new concern. Had he left willingly? I really didn’t know. Could he have been dishonest from the start, waiting to get information he needed before leaving? Or did he run out of time and have to? And then there was another option, the idea of it seizing my mind like a thick cloud of smoke. Maybe he hadn’t planned to take me after all.
When the time came for me to leave for Sacred Lake, my eyes were heavy and I had worried a hole inside my cheek. But there was nothing more I could do, so, with a dispirited and hardening heart, I resigned to attend the meeting with Queen Havilah and figure everything else out later, whenever I could. I’d have all the time in the world if I was no longer leaving.
I kept an eye on the horizon while I traveled, watching as the darkness began to dissolve. I also listened for any unseen movement, especially when I neared the Trials course. A single Guard had been posted there to make sure none of the structures had been compromised during the night. I wouldn’t put it past some of the Guards to manipulate the course to ensure a win or even ensure a loss for someone else. Our Guards were good and loyal, but not always righteous when a prized position was on the line.
The crevasse fields had indeed gotten worse, some of the gaps stretching farther than an average person could jump. It took more time to cross, searching the darkness for alternate routes, sometimes forcing me to move back several times in order to pass forward. When I reached the solid ground on the other side, I released a breath and then a soft laugh as I pictured the queen performing the same task. I shook my head, knowing she would have taken the less treacherous route. Looking along the horizon, the land now sloping subtly downward, I could see the light cresting over the sea, still so delicate. I started into a run, darting over the small beginning stream of the Vitae River, continuously listening and watching for any movement within the shadows and fog. In very little time, I stood before the entrance of the cavern, the red-orange mourning flowers spread beneath my feet like a path of fire, highlighted by the soft rays of dawn, welcoming me. Though, I wasn’t sure how welcomed I’d actually be.