by Kariss Lynch
“Is this His idea of healing?” His voice rose, and Kaylan noticed the pulse throbbing in his throat.
“I don’t know what this is, but good things are happening among your people, Eliezer. Don’t you see? I came back to see if things were better, and they are.”
“They are not better. There is no one here helping Haiti. Your people helped, and then left us to our filth and destruction. No homes, little food, disease. This is not better. You have angered the spirits. Leave, Kaylan Richards, or we will make you leave. You are not one of us.”
The men behind Eliezer stepped forward as the men from the church surrounded Kaylan and Nick, pushing them to the back. Rolin stood at the front of the group, eye to eye with Eliezer. His Creole was quick and passionate, but firm. Abraham translated for Nick and Kaylan.
“She is one of us. She has the heart of a Haitian. She lived through what we lived through. Her God is now our God. We rebuild from the ashes to make a better Haiti. Help, or be gone.”
“You would side with her over me? Who helped you when your wife ached with child? Who came to your aid to yank Yanick away from the ways of this woman and her God? You dare turn on me now?”
“Her God gave me hope to live tomorrow, and so I rebuild a place where those of our city can worship Him. You have no power here. My God is bigger than you or your spirits. He is hope and love, not manipulation and anger. In the name of Jesus Christ, leave. You will not harm this woman today. She brought a message of life to Haiti. This earthquake was not her fault.”
Kaylan closed her eyes and fought tears at the outpouring of love from these people. She had given them pieces of herself, and they had given pieces of themselves to her. They formed a tapestry of color and loyalty. She had poured into them, invested all of who she was. When they were broken, she was broken. In their hope, she now found hope. Another small piece of her heart felt the warm sensation of healing.
Stevenson stepped forward, and Eliezer’s eyes blazed. “You left me.”
“You asked me to harm the people you claim to protect.”
“You have turned your back on our heritage. You are no student of mine.” As he raised his arm to strike Stevenson, Kaylan surged forward before Nick could catch her.
“Stop.”
Eliezer’s hand froze in midair, and his eyes focused on her, surprised, angry.
“We don’t have to do this. You once told me we could both help Haiti. Help us now, Eliezer. Help us rebuild.”
“I will not. Haiti will not be saved with your religion.”
“No, it’ll be saved because of my God. The Bible says the Lord binds up what is broken.”
Eliezer seemed to lose the ability to talk. He advanced toward her again, the men behind him rooted to the ground. He bared his teeth, but Kaylan stood her ground. She remembered her place. She remembered her identity and why she’d come to Haiti. She remembered her calling to stand for the less fortunate, and her fear fled. No more would the past months destroy her hope. As Nick moved to her side, she laid a restraining hand on his arm.
“I will not fight you, Eliezer. My purpose is to help, not hurt. Will you inflict more harm on those of your own blood?”
His eyes blazed, and he studied the men surrounding Kaylan. He took a step backward, then another, before swiftly turning and fading back into the dust, leaving those around him confused, adrenaline crashing without a fight. The church members swarmed around them, talking, sharing the gospel.
Nick watched it all, but most of all he watched Kaylan. She had never looked more beautiful. Her hair knotted under a bandanna, dirt smudged her cheek, and her clothes were sweaty and crumpled. She’d done it. She’d graciously, confidently faced the man who had haunted her dreams. She’d come to the country that had nearly destroyed her, and in the process she’d emerged like the lily she wore around her neck: strong, beautiful, resilient, changed.
Chapter Forty-Two
THE MOUND HAD flattened in the past months. Kaylan laid the flowers over the grave and stepped back into Nick’s embrace, tears flowing unchecked down her face. For the first time she knew she hadn’t left her best friend in Haiti. She and Nick would return to this place later with Sarah Beth’s family and their Haitian friends who had known her, but this was Kaylan’s time to say good-bye.
Sunrise. Kaylan gazed at the horizon. The morning had never looked so beautiful, not since the earthquake. A sprinkling of grass had grown over Sarah Beth’s grave. Kaylan thought it fitting. Where someone lay battered, something else took root. Sarah Beth had given their Haitian friends a taste of hope. She’d given them what she treasured the most—life, full and abundant. She’d given Kaylan that gift, as well. Kaylan could never thank her enough.
She knelt next to the mound and ran her fingers over the grass. “You made a difference, Bubbles. You changed the world, and your memory will keep changing it. They found Jesus because you loved them enough to show them how good He is. You showed me that.” Kaylan bit back a cry, and Nick knelt next to her. “Look who’s here with me, Bubbles. Can you believe it?” The sky came alive with brilliant displays of pinks and reds, as if the Lord were showing off this morning just for Sarah Beth, a tribute to a faithful soldier who had joined Him. “It’s beautiful this morning. Your favorite colors. But you’re watching them from a much better seat. Save a spot for me. We’ll rock on that front porch up there for the rest of eternity.” Her voice broke, and she sobbed. Telling her goodbye, letting go, was almost more difficult than the earthquake and the months of heartbreak. This was what she should have done at Sarah Beth’s funeral.
“I wish you were here. I never imagined the next stages of life without you. But I’ll take you with me wherever I go. And I’ll remember. I still don’t understand why it took an earthquake. I still don’t understand why He took you, but God is doing big things here. Beautiful things that I never imagined.” She laughed, tears still flowing. “He’s good, just like you said. You saw it in death, and it took your death to show me that in life. I won’t ever forget.”
Kaylan grabbed a fistful of dirt and clenched her fist. She could do this. She could let go of her best friend. The memories would never leave her. They would push her through every day of the coming internship, of the next stage with Nick. They would make her laugh in the hard times and cry when she needed a friend. They would make her strong, because there had once existed a blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty who’d loved a country so much she’d died to share Jesus with it, and in the process she had changed more lives than they would ever know.
“I don’t know how to tell you good-bye. You were the sister I never had. How do I let that go?”
Nick’s gentle voice broke into her reverie, soothing the pain. “You remember, Kayles. This isn’t good-bye. You’ll see her again.”
“It’s hard, Nick. I don’t know how to do this.”
He lifted her hand from her lap and held it over the mound. “She’s not there.”
“I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to say good-bye.”
“Sarah Beth will always be part of you, remember?”
She nodded, tears falling on Sarah Beth’s grave. Finger by finger, she loosened her grip, and dirt sifted down, coming to rest on the mound. “Bye, Bubbles. I love you.”
Nick helped her to her feet, and it took every bit of resolve to turn her back on the grave.
“I’m proud of you, babe.”
Kaylan wiped the tears from her face. “Can we go to the beach?”
“Absolutely. Show me the way.”
The hum of Rhonda’s truck occupied the otherwise silent ride. Memories of Sarah Beth flooded Kaylan’s mind. She didn’t know it was possible to feel pain and peace in equal measure, but it was her reality. She placed a hand over her heart. Some holes would never be filled. Sarah Beth had left a mark on her life. It was the mark of a partner in crime, a best friend, and a sister. It would not fade or blemish. It was love of the purest kind; Kaylan hoped one day to find that kind of friendship again.
Slipping her shoes off, she waded into the surf. The sun was warm and the water a deep turquoise. It showed no signs of an earthquake—no cracks, rubble, or decay. It was pristine, strong, and beautiful. She turned to face Nick, his smile as bright as the sun. It was a smile she loved, that she wanted to see more of. She rolled her eyes. “I’m a mess again. Give me a damage report.”
He came toward her in the water and ran a thumb over her cheeks. “Tear trails that will fade.”
“I wish scars faded that quickly.”
“Battle scars are badges of honor, Kayles. They are the mark of a survivor. They’re earned. A reminder of an event that changed your life. Never be ashamed to acknowledge them.”
“They’ll remind me of Sarah Beth, of Haiti, and of these amazing people.” She nodded at the water. “It doesn’t show damage.”
“It masks what’s under the surface, Kayles. It polishes rough edges and smooths over cracks. They exist, but they are being made better through a rough process.”
“That’s what the earthquake did to me.”
“It shook you. But know what I’ve been told? When the Lord shakes us, He does it to rid us of what’s unnecessary, so that we can become more of who He designed us to be. We shake off the baggage, so we can bear more of the good.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the feel of him and the water slapping at their ankles. “Know what I shook free?”
“Bad tan lines?”
“Nick . . . ”
He flashed a smile again, the one he reserved for her alone. “Tell me.”
“Fear of letting you in. I can’t promise I won’t succumb to that again. I can’t promise I won’t cling. But I can promise that I want to try this with you. Sarah Beth always reminded me that life was meant to be lived. I want to dream big with you.”
“Then California, here we come. Think you can handle being the girlfriend of a SEAL?”
“I’m going to give it my all.” She turned her eyes to the water, the waves lapping at their legs. There would be days like this, when the ocean was peaceful, and days when it would rage. “We’ll weather it. Together.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
As their lips met, a wave crashed into their legs, knocking them down in the surf. Water soaked through her clothes and her hair fell in wet waves around her sandy face. Kaylan threw her head back and enjoyed Nick’s laughter while the sun warmed her face, reminding her of a time at this beach when she’d laughed with Sarah Beth.
She had miles to go in the healing process, more tears to cry, and more joy than she imagined possible; she’d been given time with a friend who had utterly changed her life. Sarah Beth had shown Kaylan who she could be, and she’d shown her the goodness of the God they’d both come to Haiti to serve. They had set out to save Haiti one life at a time, and slowly it was becoming a reality, a movement spreading beyond what either of them had ever planned. In that, Kaylan recognized the goodness of a God much bigger than herself. And, in that, hope bloomed.
Coming in Winter 2015 From Kariss Lynch
SHADOWED
Book Two in Heart of a Warrior series
Chapter One
THE SKY EXPLODED in an array of fiery color, and Kaylan jerked, remembering the distant crash of buildings in Haiti only nine months before.
“It’s okay, babe. It’s just fireworks.” Nick pulled her close on the beach, his arms reminding her of her new life in California, away from the humid, tropical landscape of Haiti, and away from her family in Alabama.
Vibrant reds, blues, and oranges danced in the sky, leaving smoky silhouettes in their wake. Nick’s team of Navy SEALs and their wives and families surrounded her—her new community. A few guys lit fireworks on the beach and then darted away before they ignited, children squealing in delight as they burst. A fire crackled in front of them on the beach, and the clear night sky grew hazy under the continual pops and smoke from children’s sparklers. It was the perfect way to spend the beginning of Labor Day weekend.
Kaylan wished she could freeze the memory and frame it. Laughter mixed with the lap of the waves and boom of fireworks. Children played tag, darting in and out of the waves licking the beach. Some of the guys stood near the fire, roasting hot dogs or marshmallows. The women chatted or chased down kids. It was picture perfect, and Kaylan smiled to herself. The scene seemed so normal, hiding the fact that these men could leave in an instant with just the ring of a phone. She squeezed Nick’s arm a little tighter, knowing the time would come.
His strong fingers ruffled her hair, gently sweeping strands from her forehead. Despite the warm evening, goose bumps danced down her arms, and she closed her eyes.
“What’s going on in that head of yours, gorgeous?”
She turned her head to meet Nick’s eyes, loving the fire she found in them. “Just making a memory.”
His lips brushed her forehead, and then in one quick move he stood from their sandy blanket, pulling her with him. “Let’s take a walk.” He settled his arm around her shoulders, and once again she treasured the contact, knowing these fresh memories would carry her through the long days to come.
A football whizzed through the air and smacked Nick on his back. “Yo, Hawk, get a room, man,” Jay called, whistling at Kaylan.
Before Nick could react, Kaylan’s brother Micah tackled Jay around the waist, and they both hit the sand. “I think you forgot you are talking about my sister.” With one quick move Micah wrapped his arms around Jay in a headlock, his legs pinning the rest of Jay’s body. Jay fought and kicked, but Micah held firm, his arm still allowing Jay to breathe. Barely.
The rest of the team gathered around, money exchanging hands as quickly as their cheers and chanting filled the air. Kids joined in the frenzy, excitement glowing in their young eyes.
“Micah totally has this.”
“No way. Jay wrestled in high school. Micah is toast.”
Jay squirmed. His face turned red, whether from embarrassment or lack of air, Kaylan wasn’t sure.
Nick chuckled. “Looks like Micah has it under control.” He turned Kaylan away from the crowd and moved up the beach as darkness settled around them.
The moon hung low in the sky, reflecting eerily on the waves capping and lapping the beach. Nick walked them toward the surf, the cool Pacific stretching to kiss their feet. Kaylan could barely see the water line, but the soft roar of each new wave soothed her.
She closed her eyes, turning her face to the gentle breeze and enjoying Nick’s hand in hers, strong, tough. Her eyes flew open as her feet left the sand and Nick swung her in his arms, jogging to the water.
“Put me down, jerk!” she shrieked, awaiting the plunge in the dark, cold water. Her panic built. She saw only blackness. “Nick Carmichael, don’t you dare.”
His boyish laugh tugged at her heart. “It’s just water, Kayles.” And in they went, Kaylan’s jean shorts soaking, her T-shirt hanging on her frame.
Her breath caught in her chest with the chilly water. She could barely make out Nick’s grin in the darkness as she swiped wet hair from her eyes. “Nick Carmichael!” With one good swing she sent a wave of water into his face. His eyes registered surprise before his smile quirked. Trouble.
“Oh, no, you don’t. You already got me wet. Nick, don’t you dare.” Before she could back away, he grabbed her around the waist, and they both went under an oncoming wave. The salty taste permeated her mouth.
“All right, all right.” She came up, sputtering and gasping for air in the icy water. She shoved at his chest as he steadied them both. His heart pounded beneath her palm, and his warm laugh melted her heart. She joined his laughter, loving the familiarity. Just as it had been with her best friend, Sarah Beth, Kaylan was learning to read Nick’s moods, his reactions. This laugh was one of pure joy. Contentment.
“Moonlight looks pretty good on you, even though you’re wet.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her close.
“You are
n’t too bad yourself, Mr. SEAL.”
“I mean it, Kayles. Beautiful, kind, genuine, gentle. I couldn’t be more blessed.”
She was thankful for the darkness as her face heated. She could barely discern his eyes, but she knew that look. The one he reserved only for her. He expressed himself better than she did, and occasionally it left her feeling behind the emotional curve.
He rested his forehead on hers, the waves lapping gently around their legs. Despite the chill, she felt warm with this frogman in his natural habitat. Nothing could touch her.
The breeze ruffled her dripping hair, and on its wings came the words she longed to hear yet dreaded. “I love you, Kayles.” The whispered line sent her heart pounding, and she pulled back.
“Nick . . . ”
“Don’t panic on me.” He held her close, and she fought the need to pull away, the urge to run before she got hurt, before she lost another person she loved, before she fell so hard that the darkness enveloped her again. She could almost taste the Haitian dust clinging to the air, smothering the light and her ability to breathe.
“I can’t. Nick, I . . . let’s talk about something else.” Sarah Beth’s cry echoed faintly with the crash of buildings in her mind. Again she tried to pull away.
His calloused hand cupped her chin. “Kayles, look at me. It doesn’t matter that you can’t say it right now. I just need you to know. I need you to trust me.” His eyes reflected the glowing moon and never wavered from their hold on her face, on her heart. “I love you.” He drew each word out, making sure they reached every insecurity. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She allowed the words to penetrate her fear, hoping against hope they would take root and blossom. Healing came slowly, but every day she grew stronger. Nick was key to the process. But there were some memories that could not be erased, some nightmares that bled into her daylight hours, stealing her most precious moments.
One day she would say it. One day she would feel it. But not yet, just not yet.