The women continued their trip by spending two days in San Francisco, where they were again assaulted by a mob of reporters. The Examiner and Chronicle both inaccurately identified Lorena as the first lady’s “secretary,” and the Chronicle described her as “plump, ruddy, and hatless” and characterized her as having “played the role of guardian in chief to the First Lady for several years.” In addition, the women fell victim to a gang of hooligan souvenir-seekers who broke into Lorena’s car and stole, Lorena later wrote, “maps, sun glasses, sun-tan lotion, chocolate bars, my cigarette lighter, even a little St. Christopher medal which Mrs. Roosevelt had given me, and which I kept in the glove compartment.” It was a dismal ending to a dismal trip. When they reached Portland, Eleanor joined Franklin and Lorena resumed her investigation of the nation’s relief programs. The women then continued their correspondence, but never again would their letters rise to the level of passion or emotional pitch that they had once reached.12
Five
AUGUST–DECEMBER 1934
Letting Go but Holding On
Although the Yosemite trip marked a significant turning point in Eleanor and Lorena’s relationship, not every letter they wrote in the wake of that debacle reflected the change. Their letters continued to include words of endearment, as well as a constant flow of support and encouragement.
Still, extremely rare now were the references to the women kissing or lying down together; those sentiments were replaced by a series of apologies for hurt feelings, rearranged schedules, and missed meetings—along with an instance of Lorena verbally reprimanding the first lady for wearing an expensive evening gown. In addition, the letters that Eleanor wrote during the last five months of 1934 were much more likely to contain the familiar words “a world of love” than the more intimate “I love you deeply & tenderly.”
Indeed, Eleanor now seemed to save her most romantic words almost solely for the occasions when she wanted to prevent the first friend from going into an emotional tailspin. One such occasion came after Eleanor had set aside an evening early in the Christmas season exclusively for Lorena but then had altered her plans to accommodate the ailing Louis Howe. “I think I’ll have to devote my evening to him,” Eleanor wrote, then quickly adding, “You know I’d rather be with you & carefree & dear I love you deeply & tenderly!”
On Lorena’s part, her letters from this period were dotted with phrases communicating a variety of negative emotions—agitation and frustration, regret and remorse, pain and torment. “Good night,” she wrote Eleanor two weeks after their calamitous western vacation, “I hope you are having a happy, restful time at camp—a happier, more peaceful time than you had with me. Oh, I’m bad, my dear, but I love you so. At times life becomes just one long, dreary ache for you.”
After leaving Eleanor, Lorena returned to San Francisco to investigate the relief programs there, and Ellie Morse Dickinson came down from Colfax to spend several days with her.
August 8th
Hotel Worth
San Francisco
Dear One:
Although I shall miss Ellie greatly when I no longer have her with me, it seems good to be here alone, in my dressing gown, for a quiet talk with you. I hate being hurried or interrupted when I’m writing to you, just as I hate it when we are together.
Yes, as you suggest, Ellie and San Francisco have made it easier for me, although there have been times when I’ve missed you so that it has been like a physical pain, and at those times I’ve hated San Francisco because you were not here. Not so many times, however, and I’ve tried very hard not to let Ellie see.
Well, I spent the morning with Mayor [Angelo] Rossi—for three hours. I like Mayor Rossi, a lot. He’s temperate, sane, a man of good judgement. Quite different from the fiery type you’d expect an Italian to be. Single-handed, his staff tells me, he fought against setting up martial law in San Francisco during the strike1 although the pressure brought to bear by the moneyed interests and business men and the newspapers was terrific. It must have taken a good deal of courage, but he won out. I liked him this morning. Several of his “cabinet” were there—the comptroller, the city engineer, the San Francisco county relief directors, and so on. They were pretty sore—there has been a good deal of friction between the city and the state and federal relief administrations—and they lost their tempers and made some pretty wild statements. But he remained calm, corrected some of their more extravagant assertions, and was sweet and courteous to the end.
Good night, sweetheart. I love you tenderly.
H
The following three letters show the degree to which the terms of Eleanor and Lorena’s relationship had changed after the West Coast trip, with a subtle restraint permeating Eleanor’s words.
August 10th
Campobello Island New Brunswick, Canada
Hick dearest, Two letters from you & I was amused by your conversation with Katherine Beebe.2 Dear, I hope she gets you in the right frame of mind to enjoy life.3 I surmise you would be happier if my own attitude were different.
Well, it’s lovely here. The drive up was as nice as ever & the two girls4 are riding in the morning & I’m going to loaf a day or two.
I telephoned F.D.R. & he sounds happy over yesterday & everyone seems to like his speech.5
Dear one, take care of yourself,
E.R.
August 11th
Campobello Island
New Brunswick, Canada
Hick darling, Your letter to-day was a joy & I am glad it was easier on the whole but I’m afraid you & I are always going to have times when we ache for each other & yet we are not always going to be happy when we are to-gether. Somehow we must find the things which we can do & do them so that what time we have to-gether is as happy as it can be in an imperfect world!
I’m writing you out on the balcony looking over the lake at the sunset & it is absolutely quiet & peaceful & lovely. Major6 was driven up today & he’s beside me, at first he didn’t seem to know me but he’s slipped quickly back to familiarity & follows me around as usual & no doubt will sleep with me or with Earl [Miller].7 It is nice to have him [Major] though I rather dreaded it & know I shall be an idiot when I say goodbye! I do know how you feel about Prinz & sometimes it makes me ache.8 I’ve had a walk & a swim & sun after lunch & then read out under a tree for a couple of hours & now will soon have dinner.
Your work sounds strenuous but are you resting? A world of love dear one, be good!
E.R.
August 13th
Campobello Island
New Brunswick, Canada
Dearest one, Two letters to-day because there was no mail yesterday & I had a grand time all by myself reading them.
Nan & I were left alone for a time this morning, & she was making drawings9 so I sat on the porch & read in the sun & thought a great deal about you. I am so glad you are feeling better & cutting down on cigarettes & above all I’m glad you’ve been to the ear doctor & it was not so painful. The one ear must have been pretty bad though for probing & scraping is never comfortable! Poor dear, how idiotic to think you could do anything political particularly in that California mess.
Yes, I am happy here & one reason, of course[,] is the place but there are other reasons & I was analyzing them to-day, perhaps the main one is that I think I am needed & wanted—I suppose that is why I enjoy being with Anna & John [Boettiger]. So often with the boys I feel tolerated! What curious creatures we are!
Well, dear one, be careful & take good care of yourself, precious person.
Lovingly,
E.R.
My pen just gave out & I am too far from the house to get the ink just now!
In the final paragraph of this letter, Lorena obliquely apologizes for losing her temper in Yosemite and then expresses her hope that Eleanor’s life has been more peaceful since that trip. At the very end of the letter, the first friend describes the pain she feels when she is separated from the first lady, followed by a pledge to try to remain emotionally s
table.
August 15th
Hotel El Tejon
Bakersfield, California
Dear You:
Well—another day gone. A long day of driving about seeing things, with the chairman of the county board of supervisors and several relief people. The most interesting thing I saw was the little village of adobe houses built by Allan Hoover10 on his ranch for his migratory workers.
A syndicate in which the former president is said to be a dominant figure owns a ranch, four square miles, near here. They raise mostly cotton and alfalfa. Young Allan Hoover is managing the place.
One of the principal causes of the labor trouble in the Imperial and San Joaquin valleys last winter lay, as you may know, in the unspeakably bad housing provided for the seasonal migratory workers, who come in to pick cotton and harvest the fruit and vegetable crops. Though the growers are supposed to provide decent housing and sanitary conditions for these people, they don’t. Most of the workers live in tent colonies, with no water and no sanitation. Many of them live on the banks of the irrigation ditches and drink the ditch water.
Some of the more liberal growers have started a movement to provide better housing, but, so far, young Hoover is the only one who has actually done anything. I visited his ranch today. Fortunately he was away. I think we both might have been somewhat embarrassed had he been at home.11
It’s funny, but ten miles away from the Hoover ranch, on the outskirts of Bakersfield, is a place called “Hoover City”—a jungle of tents, cardboard houses, built out of cartons, no sanitation whatever. In “Hoover City” live 100 families, wretchedly—itinerant farm workers, oil workers out of jobs, unemployed of all sorts. It’s a terrible place, like thousands of other terrible places growing up on the outskirts of our towns. The tent colony in West Virginia really wasn’t any worse, except that the winters are colder in West Virginia. What are we going to do with these people?
Last night I was looking at maps. Many, many miles lie between us, dear one.
Good night, I hope you are having a happy, restful time at camp—a happier, more peaceful time than you had with me. Oh, I’m bad, my dear, but I love you so. At times life becomes just one long, dreary ache for you. But I’m trying to be happy and contented.
H
August 18th
Campobello Island
New Brunswick, Canada
Hick darling, Yesterday p.m. yours of the 13th came & this morning the one sent on the 14th. So as I had missed for a day[,] I feel very rich. They are amusing too & your efforts to be polite12 are most praiseworthy but I know how you have hated it. Poor dear, what I have put you through! We won’t do public things any more & you’ll be spared all this.13 I can just see you writhe!
At least you sound as though work were of interest again & I am awaiting the reports with anticipation!
I went off for three hours yesterday to see Elinor Morgenthau. Her mother is at Loon [Lake] & I do think she is far from well so for once I could be really sympathetic.
One week is over & a week from to-day, the 25th, I will be home & for the rest of the year, with only a week end or a few days now & then, I will be “Mrs. Roosevelt”—we’ll try to have our times to-gether in N.Y. quiet & unobserved however!
The sun is out & we are off to float around in the motor boat.
I miss you dear & think of you so much & love you dearly,
E.R.
The third paragraph of this letter is one of many apologies that ER offered during this period.
August 21st
Campobello Island
New Brunswick, Canada
Darling, I hope stepchild14 gets you back safely but I don’t like the way she is behaving & if it continues we’ll turn it in for a new one!
Thanks for the “Post” [article] but I had seen it.15
Yes, dear, you are right I give everyone the feeling that you have that I’ve “taken them on” & don’t need anything from them & then when they naturally resent it & don’t like to accept from me, I wonder why! It’s funny I know & I can’t help it, something locked me up & I can’t unlock!
A world of love dear, I’ll be in Hyde Park on Sat.
Devotedly,
E.R.
In late August, Lorena had written from Salt Lake City that she had become ill with severe intestinal pains. Eleanor offered to cut short her vacation and fly across the country to be with her ailing friend. But in keeping with Eleanor’s new restraint, she did not speak of wanting to cradle Lorena in her arms or lie down beside her. Also, Eleanor’s statements in the letter clearly suggest that she felt sorry for Lorena in the same way that she did for the recently divorced Earl Miller—both were people to be pitied.
[August 31]
Val-Kill Cottage
Hick darling, I was so distressed by your letter to-day. Did you ever have typhoid inoculations? I sent you a wire to-night for I felt I wanted to know how you really were. If you are really ill I will fly out of course.
Well, as far as I’m concerned, a ride this a.m. & work at the cottage with Tommy til noon, a talk with a Miss Roberts, who has been after the stock exchange for 14 years & is about to publish her case, lunch, the [Henry and Elinor] Morgenthaus with three men from the Treasury, 2 women to see me about a radio idea, then work again till 6. The [Rex and Florence] Tugwells16 & [Harry and Barbara] Hopkinses arrived & Mr. Hopkins seemed to know you were ill. Both were much concerned. Tommy & I worked & we are up on back mail & have part of my radio address done.
Oh! dear one, what wouldn’t I give to have you here with me to-night & know just how you are & be able to take care of you. I always feel that you & Earl [Miller] need me more than anyone when things go wrong for neither of you have anyone much nearer to turn to whom I must remember not to offend!
A world of love & I hope I hear you are better to-morrow—
Devotedly,
E.R.
Lorena ultimately realized, after medicating herself around the clock for three days, that her intestinal pains had been brought on by water she drank from a desert spring intended only for cattle.
September 1st
Val-Kill Cottage
Hick darling, Your letter to-day was a relief in one way as I was afraid of typhoid tho’ I hoped you had been inoculated. However, I am worried now because I wired you last night & got no answer to-day. I’ll send another wire to-morrow if I don’t hear for I must go to you if you are really ill & yet I hope you are up & about again. Mr. Hopkins said to-day that your reports would be the best history of the depression in future years. He says he had sent you word to drive all the way home as he wants you to stay in the East for a time. I fear this means you won’t get back quite as soon. Well, let me know when you can & I’ll meet you in Washington & we’ll manage some quiet days to ourselves whatever happens. I’m glad you’ll be in the East for I like to have you a little more accessible!
It has been a hectic day the men have been conferring & [Assistant Secretary of the Interior] Oscar Chapman has joined us for the week end. We all went to the Morgenthaus’ for a clambake this evening. It was a grand party & Franklin was in grand form. He is very angry with [Budget Director] Lewis Douglas for choosing this moment to resign tho’ he’s glad to have him out17 & somehow he worked his rage out by having a grand time!
Bless you dear one,
E.R.
Perhaps as the first lady’s way of showing that she still needed Lorena, Eleanor had begun sending the former reporter drafts of articles that she was planning to submit to magazines before she sent them to the editors. The article that Eleanor mentions in this letter was about the Great Depression’s impact on the American people. The revised article appeared in Cosmopolitan three months later.
October 3d
[Fort Worth]
Darling, It was good to find your two letters to-day & I am terribly grateful for all the work you did on that article.
We had a smooth & quick flight here & Elliott & Ruth have such a nice place. The house is charming
& the baby [Ruth Chandler Roosevelt] so like Elliott at her age!
I’ll leave early Sunday & it will be good to see you dear & we will have a peaceful time!
A world of love,
E.R.
The peaceful time that Eleanor had been hoping for was not to be. Although the details of the incident are not clear, this note shows that she and Lorena had a conversation that Lorena had found quite distressing. Eleanor apparently was agitated as well, as she wrote this note so hurriedly that she neglected to date it. A White House servant hand delivered the note to Lorena.
Hick my darling, That cry of “I want something all my own” is the cry of the heart & I was near to tears last night. You told me once it was hard to let go but I found it was harder to let go & yet hold on. Love as much & yet share. Gosh! I sound horrible but I mean that you taught me more than you know & it brought me happiness & I wish I could bring it to you. I bring you unhappiness & if I didn’t think in the end it would make you happier I’d be desperately unhappy for I love you & you’ve made of me so much more of a person just to be worthy of you—Je t’aime et je t’adore,
E.R.
I hope you overslept but I fear you had a bad night.
The tone of this letter demonstrates how Lorena’s moods could overwhelm her and affect everything she did—including reading newspaper stories. Her criticizing Eleanor for wearing an expensive dress is the first example in the correspondence of Lorena confronting the first lady so boldly.
November 2nd
Lord Baltimore Hotel
Baltimore, Maryland
Dear You:
Damn the newspapers! Here I am, keen to know what you said last night and how it went.18 And what do the papers carry? One of them described you in a blue velvet dinner gown, described all the prominent people present and “Mrs. Roosevelt” leaving after her speech but not a word on the content—I hated it.
Empty Without You Page 14