Empty Without You

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by Roger Streitmatter


  “I talked to her!” she said. “I talked to her. I was crying, and I couldn’t think of anything to say.”

  Dear Tommy! I felt like crying, too! What a relief!

  Your wire was here when I came in last night, and it was wonderful to have it.

  Gosh—I can hardly believe you’re really back!

  Your column yesterday was one of the best you’ve ever written. I caught Leone Crowlie32—whose 19-year-old boy is somewhere in the Mediterranean theater—reading it last night, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

  All my love—

  H

  In 1943, for the first time, Eleanor and Lorena did not spend an evening together to exchange gifts and celebrate the Christmas holiday. Eleanor was at the White House; Lorena was at her Little House.

  [December 25, 1943]

  The Little House

  Moriches, Long Island

  My dear:

  I can’t let Christmas go by without telling you how very grateful I was for all the things you do all the year round to make life easy and comfortable and happy for me. I think sometimes that all of us—those who love you and those whom you love—may take you too much for granted. But when we stop to think—we don’t.

  Merry Christmas, dear, and God bless you—

  H

  Although Eleanor and Lorena could not find an evening to spend together during the holiday season, not so Lorena and Marion. On December 10, they spent the night together at the Hay-Adams Hotel a block north of the White House. The next day, Marion sent Lorena a postcard with a photo of the hotel on the front, penciling in an arrow that pointed to a room on the sixth floor. On the back of the card, Marion wrote the suggestive message, “X marks the spot.”33

  In one of Marion’s ardent love letters, she wrote, “I hope 1944 will be a good year for you, darling, and I hope the Gods will give us many happy hours. Dearest Hick—I love you very much.”34 Meanwhile, Eleanor was bound for the Caribbean and South America to boost troop morale and to inspect military bases there.

  March 7th [1944]

  [The White House]

  My dear:

  The beautiful material and your very generous [birthday] check were here when I came in just now. I don’t think it should cost seventy-five dollars to have that dress made, dear. I’m going to put the money into a bond now. I’ll have the dress made in the Fall, and I think I should return to you the balance.

  Well—I’m 51 years old today. Sometimes I feel 101!

  I, too, have thought a lot about you starting out over the [Caribbean] route we covered ten years ago this Spring. Can you believe it was ten years ago? I find it difficult. Yet so much has happened. And we are both older and, in my case, I hope, wiser. Well—it was a beautiful trip, dear. But I wish I had been more mature, more stable.

  Good night, dear. My love and my thanks for your generosity.

  H

  March 9th [1944]

  La Fortaleza

  San Juan, Puerto Rico

  Hick dearest, I have thought of you so much ever since I arrived.

  The wind blows all the time so it is cool & really very beautiful. One does feel farther away from the war here. The problems are as bad as ever for the people & wages don’t sound very high.

  Much love dear,

  E.R.

  March 17th [1944]

  [The White House]

  My dear:

  Your very interesting letter of March 13th [from Brazil] was here when I came in a few minutes ago. I’m looking forward with interest to your return and the stories you’ll have to tell. I’m glad you’re having a comfortable trip. Gosh, I’d like to go to South America sometime.

  I suppose those boys do want to go home. But how about the boys in the Pacific, which must be infinitely less comfortable. Or in Italy. Sometimes I think no one really appreciates what those kids are going through. Except a few people, like you, who have been out there. We were talking about it at dinner tonight—Marion and I—the seeming lack of understanding and awareness of people here at home. We were wondering if so much drama, on so large a scale, hasn’t stultified us.

  The news on the diplomatic front has me down. “Sphere of influence”—power politics—I’m uneasy.

  Must go to bed. Thanks for your letter, dear. And my love to Tommy and you—

  H

  It was in the paper about Elliott and Ruth [divorcing] yesterday. I’m awfully sorry, dear. I wish she’d had the sense and wisdom to wait until the war is over. After all, she’s no child.

  H

  Eleanor returned from South America in late March and by early summer had escaped the Washington heat for a visit to Val-Kill.

  July 7th [1944]

  Val-Kill Cottage

  Dearest Hick, Being here gives one a very remote feeling about all the problems of the world.

  Elliott is apparently on the way to matrimony again but I’ve had no word from him anymore than I had from Ruth about her marriage.35 I think he [Ruth’s new husband] has a cruel face which does not seem to promise happiness for her or for the children.

  I hope you had a satisfactory time in N.Y. & that now you & Marion Harron will enjoy every moment of this holiday.

  Devotedly,

  E.R.

  Lorena was in Chicago for the Democratic National Convention, which would nominate FDR for a fourth term. The Republicans nominated New York City Mayor Thomas E. Dewey.

  July 12th [1944]

  Blackstone Hotel

  Chicago

  Dearest:

  I didn’t know that Ruth had married again. I can’t help thinking she did it out of pique, and that she will be sorry. Foolish little idiot!

  It struck me tonight that in my discussion with you on the telephone today I hadn’t even let on that I was aware of the president’s statement that he would run! Well, for your sake and his, I hate to see him do it. If it were not for this war and all the problems that go with it, I’d not be a party to it. I’m not a Fourth-Termer, under normal conditions. But there’s no one else I’d trust now. But it’s awfully tough on you—and him.

  Next time we’re both in New York, let’s have lunch or dinner and have Tommy along, and I’ll fill you in on the convention. I’d love to spend a weekend with you at your place or mine. If it isn’t convenient for you to leave Hyde Park, I’ll go up there.

  Darling—all my thanks for everything. I love you with all my heart.

  H

  Lorena had been planning a visit to Val-Kill. But when FDR decided to bring Winston Churchill back to Hyde Park after their meeting in Quebec to discuss war strategy, Eleanor had to inform Lorena that the president’s plans pre-empted hers. Allied forces were, by this point in the war, confident of victory. American and British leaders were now struggling to devise a plan to prevent Germany from starting yet another war in the future.

  September 12th [1944]

  The Citadel

  Quebec

  Hick dearest, F.D.R. thinks we’ll bring the Churchill party back getting to Hyde Park Sat. or Sunday so unless you want to come anyway & take your chances, which of course I’d be delighted to have you do, you had better wait & come on the 30th when I know I’ll be in the cottage. I won’t be in N.Y. either next week as I hoped[,] but I will be there from the 25th-29th. Perhaps either the 26th or 27th you would dine & go to the play with us? Tommy will be there too.

  I don’t know what work goes on here36 but we talk much at meals. These people are all nice people & in some ways that is discouraging because [if] they’ve not found the answers, how can we hope that we’ll find them in the future.

  Do you want a new skirt & long coat for Xmas, it seems to me about time? If you don’t want that, what are your wishes Madame?

  Devotedly,

  E.R.

  September 14th [1944]

  Beekman Tower

  My dear:

  I received both your letter and your wire today. And so I’ll go up to Hyde Park Saturday.37 It will be good to see you.

&n
bsp; No, I don’t think I’ll need a skirt and coat this year. If my plans work out as I hope they will, I’ll be spending a good share of next year down in the country. You see—I realize that I’ll have to work the rest of my life. I’m tired—a kind of cumulative fatigue that has been building up for a couple of years. I believe that a good long rest and change would probably prolong my working life by several years. So I’m going to take it. Six months anyway. Longer if I can swing it financially. As a matter of fact, I now have enough ahead to keep me going for a year, maybe—down there. I don’t know just when I’ll leave the committee. If we win, I probably should stay and help through the inauguration business. If we lose, they’d probably appreciate it if I removed myself from the payroll as soon as possible. Marion thinks I ought to resign January 1st.38

  I’d love to have dinner with you and Tommy either on the 26th or the 27th. We can fix the day this weekend.

  Good night, dear. It will be good to see you.

  H

  September 21st [1944]

  Val-Kill Cottage

  Dearest Hick, Your letter came on Monday & I think I would resign [from the Democratic National Committee job] Jan. 1st if you really feel completely exhausted. I doubt however whether you will need or want more than 3 months rest & I’d try to get the future job lined up before you leave. Since you don’t want a suit for Xmas why not let me just fill your stocking with silly things & give you a check toward the vacation?

  I loved having you here for the week end.

  Much, much love,

  E.R.

  FDR’s margin of victory was even less than it had been four years earlier—only 54 percent of the popular vote.

  November 10th [1944]

  The Little House Moriches, Long Island

  My dear:

  Well—are you glad the darned old campaign is over? I’ll bet you are. And so am I! It was, beyond any doubt, the meanest campaign since 1928—and I think it was meaner than that one. God, it would have been awful, had [Thomas E.] Dewey been elected.

  I have a seat back on the Congressional [train] Saturday, the 25th, to spend the weekend with Marion, in her new apartment.39

  I’ll phone the White House and see if you are there. I’ll be in Washington until just before Christmas. Back here for the holidays and in Washington during all of January. After that, my plans are uncertain.40

  Darling, I don’t like to think about the next four years for you. Rotten luck—but, my God, we couldn’t let that little man with the mustache be president! Not now.

  H

  Eleanor had invited Lorena and Marion to dine at the White House, and the first lady also had persuaded Lorena to make an appointment with a Washington doctor for a comprehensive physical examination.

  November 20th [1944]

  The Little House

  Moriches, Long Island

  Darling:

  It was sweet of you to offer to go to the doctor with me, and I do appreciate it a lot.

  I think we are now witnessing the twilight of the Democratic party. The Democratic party didn’t elect the president—this year nor four years ago. He did it himself—as Charlie Michelson remarked several times during the recent campaign, in spite of the Democratic National Committee.

  Marion and I would love to have dinner with you Sunday night. And I think I’ll stay there that night if it’s alright. I want to get some clothes—I left my winter things there.

  I love you!

  H

  Eleanor’s reference in this letter to feeling like Elliott’s new wife was nothing more than “a passing house guest” speaks to the first lady’s increasing frustration with her children’s marital instability. The five Roosevelt children eventually would rack up a total of nineteen marriages among them—a startlingly high figure for an upperclass family of the era.41

  December 21st [1944]

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Hick dearest, I hope this will reach you before Xmas. I shall think of you in the little house & hope that the day will be very happy & that the coming year will bring you much happiness.

  Let me know about the doctor. I really want to hear all details & I hope you have all the necessary tests.

  Elliott’s new wife [Faye Emerson] is pretty, quiet. She seems capable but I don’t feel that she is more than a passing house guest! I hope I’ve behaved well!

  Much, much love dear,

  E.R.

  December 23rd [1944]

  The Little House

  Moriches, Long Island

  Darling:

  Were you ever right! It seems I have a blood sugar of 272, which is pretty high, considering the fact that normal is under 100.

  I’m on a very strict sugar-free diet over the holidays and am to have another blood sugar before I go back to Washington on the 2nd.

  Mostly my trouble, he says, is fatigue. He says my heart sounds like “a tired old man.” I have orders to sleep nine or ten hours every night and to relax and not push myself at all when I feel tired. He enthusiastically approves of my taking a long rest and wants me to get away as soon as I can. There is evidence of infection in my septum—probably sinus. And I have a low blood count, though not dangerously low.

  I’m apparently going through the menopause with a minimum amount of trouble. He didn’t even recommend shots for that!

  Darling—thanks for making me go to the doctor. He says you probably saved my life.

  A Merry Christmas to you. And all my love.

  H

  Nine

  1945–1962

  Living in Two Different Worlds

  After Franklin’s presidency had kept Eleanor in the bright glare of the national spotlight for twelve years, his death in early 1945 finally offered her the opportunity to leave public life and design the private life that she had, for so many years, said that she wanted—and that Lorena had dreamed of. And then, just four months after FDR’s death, Hick ended her relationship with Marion Harron. But instead of Eleanor and Lorena creating a life together in that little cottage that Eleanor had written of so longingly a dozen years earlier, the first lady’s sense of duty propelled her to still greater heights. Even though she told Lorena “I’m going to be no leader of thought or action but a homebody,” ER did not scale back her activity. In fact, she soon became not merely first lady of the United States but—as President Truman so aptly dubbed her—first lady of the world.

  As Eleanor traversed the globe, she continued to write to Lorena, but the lengthy letters from past years gave way to brief notes scribbled on postcards—from Paris and Rome, Hong Kong and Karachi. It is unclear, by this point, how much of Eleanor’s sustained contact with Lorena, still plagued by poor health and financial worries, was driven by genuine love and how much by loyalty and the first lady’s legendary sense of duty.

  This final period of correspondence was dominated by Eleanor’s letters, with only a handful from Lorena. Perhaps the most telling passage came in a letter the first lady wrote in 1955—“Of course you will forget the sad times at the end & eventually think only of the pleasant memories. Life is like that, with ends that have to be forgotten.”

  [March 7, 1945]

  Val-Kill Cottage

  Hick dearest, I hope you have a happy birthday. This little check brings you my love & the hope that you will use it for some little thing you want.

  I wish I could be with you.

  All my love,

  E.R.

  After the month-long trial living arrangement with Marion in January 1945, Hick opted not to move in permanently but to live in the Little House by herself. So in March, Lorena left her job at the Democratic National Committee—as well as Washington.

  March 21st [1945]

  Democratic National Committee

  Dearest:

  The goodbyes have all been said, and presently I shall be on my way out of Washington with two orchids pinned to my shoulder—and wishing that I could live up to the nice things that have been said to me
these last few days. With you as an example, I tried awfully hard to do a good job, and, most of the time, I think I honestly did give the best that was in me. But many times I was irritable and impatient and intolerant. One of the qualities I love most in you is your tolerance, and yet I can be so intolerant if people do not live up to my standards—which have been mostly set by you. It’s all very mixed up—and inconsistent and makes me very much dissatisfied with myself. And also makes me feel awkward and inadequate when people say nice things to me—even though I love to hear them and even though, especially now, they mean a lot to me.

  I wish I had the words to tell you how grateful I am for your many kindnesses these last four years—and especially for letting me stay at the White House. It did two wonderful things—kept me near you and made it possible for me to hang on to my Little House, which is so infinitely precious to me. I shall miss you. Yet I shall feel that you are near. After all these years, we could never drift very far apart. You are a very wonderful friend, my dear.

  Goodbye and God bless you.

  H

  Easter Sunday

  [April 1, 1945]

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Dearest Hick, It has been a lovely day & everything is so lovely. I hope it is begining [sic] to bloom with you too.

  We’ve had a busy time. I left F.D.R. at Hyde Park on Tuesday a.m. & put in a busy day in N.Y. speaking far too often! Got in here Wednesday a.m. & F.D.R. arrived Thursday a.m. & left in the p.m. for Warm Springs.

  Much much love dear,

  E.R.

  On the afternoon of April 12, the president suffered a cerebral hemorrhage while vacationing in Warm Springs—Lucy Mercer Rutherford was with him. Eleanor, who was in Washington, flew to Georgia but did not arrive until after her husband had died. When Lorena heard that the president was dead, she sent a telegram to Warm Springs, offering to fly to Eleanor immediately. Eleanor then telephoned Lorena on Long Island, suggesting instead that they meet at Eleanor’s apartment in New York the next week, as soon as she vacated the White House.

 

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