“I’m not jealous,” said Logan, but his voice had a nasty tinge.
“We’re driving Reid home, and that’s that,” I said.
“No, that’s okay,” said Reid.
Logan clenched his jaw.
“I’m getting out,” said Reid.
“Close the fucking door,” muttered Logan.
“Look—” said Reid.
Logan hit the gas and the car lurched forward.
Reid was tossed to the other side of the back seat and the back door slammed closed.
“What the hell, Logan?” I demanded.
“Just doing what you wanted,” he said.
I gaped at him for a minute, trying to think of something to say and coming up empty. Finally, I sat back in my seat and folded my arms over my chest.
Logan drove.
It was quiet.
Outside my window, I watched the streetlights go past. I was pretty sure Logan was going a little bit over the speed limit, but I decided not to say anything.
“Hey, uh, Petra?” said Reid in a soft voice.
“Yeah?” I said, my voice also soft.
“How’s Tatum?”
I hesitated.
“You know what? I don’t care,” said Reid.
“I know you care,” I said. “It’s just that I don’t really see her. She’s not talking to me, and I’m barely in our dorm room anyway, because I usually sleep at Logan’s.”
“Right,” said Reid. “That’s how it was with me and Tatum. She was always at my apartment, and I asked her to move in. Hell, I rented a three-bedroom apartment so she would feel like she had her own space. You realize that? How does she just… turn her back on everything?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
More silence.
“Hey, actually?” Reid said. “I don’t want to go home. Drop me at Barley and Bells. It’s closer, anyway, and I know you want to get rid of me, Logan.”
*
I watched as Logan poured the vampire blood into the basin that held the mop-things. We were in the classroom where Willoughby had set it up, but we hadn’t bothered Willoughby. It was late, and he’d explained to us how to do it adequately. We could handle this part ourselves.
I wasn’t sure what I expected to happen when the blood was poured in there. I guessed I shouldn’t have expected anything, but I thought maybe there would be some sort of change in the mop-things. But there was nothing.
I hoped we’d done it right.
Logan set down the empty container that’d had the vampire blood in it. “Well,” he said. “Okay, then.”
“Okay,” I said.
He peered down at the mop-things and then at the empty container. He wasn’t looking at me.
“We going to talk about this?”
“About what?” said Logan.
“I don’t know, the whole night,” I said. “But most especially how absolutely batshit you were with Reid.”
Logan fluttered his wings, irritated. “You didn’t see the way he was looking at you.”
“He’s not into me, geez. Can’t you see he’s out of his mind over Tatum?”
Logan shrugged. He wasn’t disagreeing with me, but he wasn’t conceding the point, either.
Damn it. I was utterly floored. I’d never seen him behave like that before, and I was appalled that he could be so juvenile. Who was this guy and what had he done with my boyfriend?
Logan scuffed the toe of his boot against the floor. “I don’t like places like that.”
“Oh, right,” I said, folding my arms over my chest. “I forget that you have to go to strip clubs all the time for purposes of hunting monsters.” My voice had gotten pretty sarcastic there.
He raised his gaze to me. “Wait a second. You don’t believe me?”
“I just don’t see what strippers have to do with monster hunting.”
He lifted his chin. “You’re jealous.’
My jaw dropped. “No.”
“You are. You’re jealous of random women you’ve never even met when you know that I’ve never touched one of them, and you actually fucked Reid.”
I threw my hands into the air. “I can’t believe you are still hung up on that. I thought we were over it. And you’re dodging the question. Just admit it. You go to strip clubs for fun.”
“I do not.” He was disgusted. “Places like that, they twist everything all up. Some things shouldn’t be turned into commerce. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When people try to sell it, it turns it inside out and makes it ugly.”
I bit down on my lip. “I agree,” I said softly.
He rubbed his forehead. “I end up at places like that, because I’m always hunting the scum of the earth, and that’s where they like to hang out.”
“Oh,” I said in a quiet voice. Maybe that did kind of make sense. I drew in a breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” he said. “I shouldn’t have been an ass to Reid like that. I think I just wanted some kind of outlet. I felt… antsy.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Antsy why?”
He cringed. “Sorry. Never mind. You want me to walk you back to your dorm room?”
“You’re going to leave me here?”
“Fox said it’s better if you stay on campus. And we’re clearly in a fight, so—”
“No, we’re not. We apologized.” I went over to him and put my hands on his chest. “All better now.”
He sighed, gazing into my eyes. “Petra…”
I chewed on my bottom lip. “I kind of want to go back to your place. I sort of want…” I sighed. “I hated that place, but it made me… I don’t know, I kind of…” I wriggled a little bit. My clothes felt too tight. I gave him a meaningful look.
He let out a harsh breath. “Seriously?”
I hung my head. “You probably think that’s really gross.”
“No,” he said in a choked voice. His hand came up, his knuckles brushed my cheekbone. “No, that’s the thing I hate the most about those places. How you can’t help but be affected. I thought maybe you’d be immune.”
I gave him a helpless look. “I did too.”
He let out a soft chuckle. Then he kissed me.
I shut my eyes and clung to him.
He pulled away. He shook himself. “Okay, look—”
“Let’s go to your place,” I said.
“You need to stay on campus.”
“Okay, come back to my room, then,” I said. “We can be quiet, and—”
“Your bed is extremely small.”
“Logan…” There was a note of a whine in my voice.
He took a deep breath and then a step back.
My heart sank.
He moved away from me, quickly crossing the room. He seized the door knob and turned the lock on it.
My eyes widened. “Are you locking us in?”
He strode back for me, fluttering his wings. There was something in his eyes, something glittering and hard, but it excited me. He came for me, and his hand was behind my neck, cupping my head, and he claimed my mouth.
I ran my fingers over his shoulders. Then my nails down his arms. I didn’t know what had gotten in to me. I was never like that. But inside me, my arousal rose like something red and searing.
Logan made a noise in the back of his throat. He pulled away and fixed me with a brutal look. He put his mouth on my neck.
I threw my head back, moaning.
“Shh,” he whispered harshly.
I shivered.
He seized me by the hips and turned me so that I was facing away from him. His mouth was on my neck again. His hands were fumbling at my jeans.
I helped him, unbuttoning, unzipping, peeling them off.
He grunted.
I gasped.
He pushed me down, bending me over one of the desks, spreading my legs.
I shut my eyes. “Take me,” I breathed.
He did.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It had never been like that with Logan b
efore. Never so desperate and forceful and a little dirty, and maybe I liked it, and maybe it was fun getting it on in that room. Even with the door locked, there was a little bit of danger, and that made me a bit keyed up.
But it was quick, and then we were panting and spent and clinging to each other, and when we kissed, it was only sweetness between us, and I felt cleansed. Whatever there was between me and Logan, it was pure, and it was good. We were in love. It was real.
We got dressed and he did walk me back to my dorm room. I was angling to try to convince him to stay with me anyway. Sometimes at night he turned to stone, and it didn’t matter where he was sleeping, but he could climb into bed with me in the morning, and then we could snuggle and be close and maybe—
Except when I opened the door to my room, Estelle was in there, sitting on the couch. Her eyes were red and bloodshot and she looked like she’d been crying. When she saw me, she got up. “Oh, God, I didn’t think you were ever coming back.”
I rushed in. “Estelle, what happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said. “I didn’t know where else to go, but I thought you and Tatum are basically my only friends, and then she just yelled at me that I was just as much to blame and left me here, and you weren’t here and—”
“What happened?” I said.
She dragged her hands over her face. “It’s Fox.”
“What about Fox?” said Logan, furrowing his brow.
I turned to him. “This is maybe a girl talk sort of thing.”
Logan looked very confused. “Why?”
“Just trust me, it’s probably better if you let me and Estelle talk this out alone.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “Wait, is this why you were at his apartment when we found that body? Is there a… thing with you and Fox?”
“Logan,” I said.
“But he’s your professor,” said Logan.
“You’re not helping,” I said to him, steering him back out the door.
Logan stroked his chin. “You know, maybe you’re right about that guy. Maybe there’s something off about him.”
I kissed Logan. “Good night. I love you.”
He sighed. “I love you, too. I’m being dismissed.”
“I’ll see tomorrow.” I kissed him again.
“All right, all right,” he said. “Night.”
“Night,” I said. I shut the door on him out in the hallway and then I turned back to Estelle. “Okay, tell me everything.”
*
I had to break out the wine for this conversation. I didn’t have any really good wine in my apartment. I could have conjured something, but conjured food and drink didn’t really have substance, and—most importantly—conjured alcohol didn’t really get you drunk. So, we were stuck with the little tiny bottles of moscato that I had in the mini-fridge in the dorm.
Estelle didn’t mind. She drank as she told me all about what had happened between her and Fox, and about how it kept happening, and how she couldn’t seem to stop herself and that he couldn’t stop himself either.
“Except tonight, he did stop,” she said. “He told me that I needed to stay away from him, that I didn’t know everything there was to know about him. He said he wasn’t a good man.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What the hell? I knew there was something off about this guy.”
“You did? You think he’s… what could he mean by that?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “But we need to be careful around him. I mean, I’m basically using him to get this spell and that’s that. Like, what was that thing he did to Reid?”
“Yeah, I didn’t like that either,” said Estelle. “It seemed like it hurt Reid. I asked Fox about it, but he said there were no side effects or anything.”
“We maybe can’t trust what he says.” I drank some of my wine. “I wonder if we should go to Norwood with this.”
“What? No, we can’t tell Norwood that I was kissing my professor!” Estelle was mortified.
“Well, I thought we’d leave that out,” I said. “But you’re right. Norwood’s a dick, and besides, we need the professor to help me with this spell.”
“It’s that important to you?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. Especially after that lovemaking session I’d just had with Logan? I was sure more than ever that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that man, and I didn’t want to live on while he died of old age. That would break me. No, I needed to be human again.
“Wow,” she said. “You know, if it were me, I think I might… there are advantages, Petra.”
“I know,” I said. “If things were different, maybe I’d feel differently.”
She nodded. “I guess we all make our own choices.”
“Speaking of choices, you have to choose not to do this with Professor Willoughby anymore.”
“I try to choose it,” she said. “I can’t seem to think when I’m around him.”
I considered. “You think it’s magic? You think he’s done something to you to make you behave that way?”
“Why would he do it to himself?” she said. “He’s just as affected by it as I am, and he keeps trying to make us stop, but he doesn’t seem to be able to either.”
“Well, then, you have to stay away from him.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” she said. “But I ran into him tonight—”
“Don’t go anywhere alone,” I said. “I’m confined to the school, so if you need someone to walk you back and forth from the library at night, you call me, okay?”
She nodded. “Okay, I will.”
“Good,” I said. “Because we don’t know what’s going on with this guy.”
“I agree,” she said. “It has to be over. He wants it to be over too. It is over. It’s never going to happen again. I won’t be alone. I’ll make sure to stay away from him.”
“Then it’ll end up okay,” I said.
She took a deep breath. “I think it’s okay in class. He’s never tried anything in class. And you can make sure to always walk me out, never leave me alone with him.”
“Of course,” I said. “And I think you should teleport home tonight. A little nausea and some skitters are a small price to pay for peace of mind. You don’t want to accidentally run into him on the walk home.”
“Good idea,” she said. She smiled at me. “Oh, Petra, I’m glad I came to you. You have no idea how hard it’s been, dealing with this myself.”
“You can always come to me,” I said. “What you said earlier? It’s not ‘like’ I’m your friend. I am your friend.”
“Oh, geez,” she said. “That’s… that’s…”
We hugged.
*
Estelle
Estelle awoke to the sound of knocking at the door to her apartment. She stumbled out of bed, not completely able to think yet. She was still full of sleep and confusion.
For some reason, she thought it was Reid at the door. It didn’t make sense for it to be Reid, because he had a key and he wouldn’t knock, but maybe he’d forgotten it or lost it somewhere. That sounded like Reid, because he was a mess in the best of times and was completely a mess now that he’d lost Tatum.
She was pretty sure he’d been drunk or on something every night since the breakup. Which maybe wouldn’t be so weird for Reid, but he sometimes was high during the day as well. She didn’t think he was going to classes, but then Reid never did.
He was fond of saying that the Darkmore name was enough to give him a mage degree, and the sad fact of the matter was, he was probably right. There wasn’t much that her family couldn’t buy in the magical world when it came down to it.
But then Estelle opened the door, and it wasn’t Reid.
It was Fox.
He was a little bedraggled. His hair was mussed, and his shirt was untucked, and there was a stain on it. His breath smelled like alcohol.
She suddenly realized that she was only wearing an oversized shirt, and it was falling off one of he
r shoulders and her legs were bare. She backed away from the door, pulling the shirt up over her shoulder. “What are you…?”
“Can I come in?” His voice had a scraping quality.
She thought of her conversation with Petra earlier. She wasn’t supposed to be alone with him. Well, maybe she wasn’t. Maybe Reid was home. But she cast a glance over her shoulder and the door to Reid’s bedroom was open, and she could see his bed inside, and it was empty. And, anyway, Reid didn’t always come home until the sun came up.
But Fox was already coming through the door. He shut it behind himself. “Sorry,” he said.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she said. God, she wished she was wearing more clothes.
“Tell me to go,” he said. “I promise if you tell me to go, I’ll leave.”
She licked her lips, nodding. She could do that. But nothing came out of her mouth.
He was walking towards her. “Say it, Estelle. Tell me to go. Please. Tell me to get out. If you would—”
But now they were close, and now they were kissing, and she could smell him and feel the coolness of his clothes through the thin fabric of her nightshirt, and her entire body was starting to wake up in a strange and pleasant way.
She moaned against his mouth. Maybe this was a dream. Maybe she had never woken up at all. After all, Fox didn’t know where she lived. She put her hands on his neck, her skin against his. His skin was warm.
She was dreaming.
She could have this if it was only a dream.
She pulled him back into her bedroom and she took his glasses off. She folded them and set them on her dresser.
They kissed again.
She tugged him back onto the bed with her.
They collapsed with him on top, between her thighs, and she wasn’t wearing anything under her nightshirt, and she could feel the scratch of his jeans against the inside of her thighs, and she knew—with a jolt—that this was real. No dream.
She let out a huff of breath.
And he echoed her breath. He sounded surprised but pleased. His face was in the crook of her neck and shoulder, and he lifted it, running his nose against her skin, breathing her in.
Then they were face to face. His lips hovered over hers. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he whispered.
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