by Conn, Phoebe
Erica raised her hand to his lips in a frantic attempt to silence him, but it was too late. Baby Stephen had been starded as badly as she, and he began to cry in a pitiful
jwail. Without replying to Viper's astounding accusation, jshe went to the cradle to pick up her son. When changing his diaper and a few minutes of cuddling would not stop his tears, she carried him to the rocking chair and sat jdown. She had fed him before going up to me third floor to see Viper, but knowing of no other way to get him back to sleep, she loosened the ribbon at the neckline of her gown iso he could nurse again. Since she had no idea how to lanswer Viper, she hoped he would have the sense to leave. When she looked up a few minutes later, she was surprised to find he had not.
This was not the first time he had watched Erica nurse their child, but as always, the sight of them together filled him with an embarrassing combination of pride and desire. How could she have come to him to complain he had not visited her room when it had taken every bit of self-control he had to stay away? He walked over to the rocking chair and knelt down by her side.
"I did not mean to wake him," he apologized as he patted the little boy's back lightly. It had not been half an hour since he had thought to himself that his life could not get any more complicated, but Erica had just turned his world upside down again, and he was more shaken than he would admit. He waited patiently for his son to drift off to sleep again, and as soon as Erica placed him in his crib he took her hand and led her back to the windows. This time he sat down on the cushioned window seat and pulled her down across his lap so even if he whispered very softly she could hear him.
"Hell can have no tortures worse than what you and I have suffered this last year. I promise not to yell at you again, but how could you not have known your marriage to Mark was not a legal one?"
As flustered as he. Erica slipjjed her arms around Viper's neck. "I never even thought about it. He and I were married by a minister, and you and I weren't. I thought Mark and I were married, I really did. Are you certain that we aren't?"
"Positive," Viper swore with a wicked grin. He had never allowed himself to dwell on thoughts of Mark making love to her, but to learn that the man had never had that pleasure pleased him enormously.
"Viper," Erica began to plead very softly. "I don't think Mark is as strong as he was. Have you noticed how content he is to spend all his time with me now? Please don't ask me to tell him we aren't married. I couldn't explain why we aren't without telling him Stephen isn't his, and I don't think he could survive so terrible a shock as that. Please don't ask me to do that to him."
That she had noticed the changes in Mark was a relief, for while he had been willing. Viper had not wanted to carry the burden of that knowledge alone. "The answer to your first question is yes. I have noticed Mark isn't as well as he was. When you answer your father's letter, please tell him what you have noticed, so he will know, too. As for your second question, to tell Mark he has neither a wife ^ nor a child would be unspeakably cruel, and I would never ask you to do that to him. I care about him, too. I think we can find our happiness without costing him his."
"Are you really certain I am not married to him?" Erica asked once again, still unconvinced that what he said was true, since her commitment to Mark had always been such | a sincere one.
"Ask an attorney if you do not believe me." Viper had a hard time stifling a laugh at that thought, but he decided the best way to do it was with a kiss. With an agile move, he pulled her down beside him on the window seat, which fortunately was not only comfortably padded but also wide enough to accommodate them both. "I love you," he whispjered hungrily, his mood now the openly passionate one she had hoped to find earlier. He covered her face with light kisses before he allowed his lips to stray to the enticing sweetness of her mouth.
Erica's hands moved over Viper's broad shoulders as she drew him near. "I've been such an awful fool," she confessed breathlessly between kisses. "I should have written to you last winter. I should have told you everything once you were here. I was afraid you would hate me, or try and make me leave Mark, or—"
"Hush," Viper scolded. "How could you have so many fears when I promised to be with you always? How could you have forgotten that?"
"I didn't forget. I remembered it all, and I did see you everywhere. I really did. In the colors of dawn and
sunset, in—"
Viper interrupted her with another kiss, which he did not end until he felt the last of the tension that had filled her for so many months begin to melt away. They were together again, bathed in the light of the stars, and while he had not thought it possible, he knew they were even more deeply in love than when they had had to part in the fall. How the worst year of his life could also have been the best he could not explain, but he knew it was true.
"Let's go outside to the garden," he suggested suddenly. "With your windows open, we can hear if Stephen starts to cry. Come with me."
When he stood and offered his hand. Erica could not refuse. This was exactly what she had wanted: the same wild abandon he had always brought to their loving. She stood and grabbed the coverlet from off her bed as they left her room. They ran down the stairs, trying not to giggle like children as they rushed from the house and danced down the stone path to the grass.
"I love youl" Erica whispered as she let her nightgown slip off her shoulders, exposing her newly slender fi^re to his view. Her pale skin glowed with the reflected light of the stars, while her hair, catching each beam of moonlight, shimmered like the finest silver.
Viper had taken the white coverlet and unfurled it upon the grass with a quick toss rather than wasting a second of the night in arranging it neatly. He then discarded what few clothes he wore with the same haste. When he pulled Erica down upon the light quilt he found it held the same enchanting fragrance of lavender as her skin. Surrounded by the sweet scent of that perfume and the lingering essence of the lush garden's many blossoms, he remembered the nights they had spent under the stars and thought this would be the best of all.
His hands traced the velvet-smooth swell of her breasts as his lips caressed hers in nearly endless kisses, which, while filled with the magical sweetness of her love, left him hungry for still more. He leaned back for a moment, and when she smiled he thought the soft radiance of the moonlight made her look more like an angel than ever. "There must be no more secrets between us. Will you promise me that?"
Having learned what a terrible burden a secret could be, no matter what the reason for keeping it, Erica readily agreed. "I promise," she replied, then sealed that vow with another lingering kiss. Her fingers slid through his hair, still wishing it were the glorious mane of silken ebony it had once been. He was holding her in a tender embrace, but she didn't feel in the least bit fragile. She merely felt alive, for the first time in months, and she moved against him to draw him closer still. **You won't hurt me," she encouraged playfully. "We can make love any way you like."
"I like all the ways," Viper confided with a deep chuckle. Still, he regarded her as even more precious than he had before now that she had ^ven him a child "You are not afraid of having more children?"
"Most women do not conceive when they are nursing. Viper, so we needn't worry about that tonight."
"Most women, but not all?"
"No, not all," Erica had to admit, "but since we both like babies, I would be happy to have another. Wouldn't you?"
"Yes." Since he would welcome all the children she gave him. Viper decided not to remind her of what an ordeal Stephen s birth had been if she had forgotten. They would both know more with their second child, and he was confident the birth would be far easier than her first. He kissed her again, wanting to savor every delectable inch of her lovely body but too hungry for her kisses to begin an adoring appraisal of her figure until the slow circular motion of his fingertips drew drops of creamy white liquid from her nipples. He leaned down then to lick the moist tips of her breasts and found the taste of her milk too delicious to move away. Whe
n she moaned sofdy, he looked up. "Shall I stop?"
"No, that feels wonderful," Erica purred as she ruffled his hair. "Nursing Stephen feels very much like making love. Why do you think he is so well fed?" she asked with a seductive giggle.
Viper laughed, too, glad to know feeding their son was so pleasurable for her. While he was certain he would never tire of nuzzling her breasts as his son did, he did not want to steal the infant's breakfast, and he spread his kisses
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over the smooth flatness of her stomach instead. "You are so pretty," he whispered as he pressed his Hps against her lavender-scented flesh. "You have always been beautiful to me."
Knowing he had viewed her pregnant figure through a bright haze of love. Erica did not argue, but she was confident she was far more attractive now that she was again as slim as she had been when they had first met. She was glad they had come outside, for it was easy to pretend they were again lying beside the Cottonwood River where he had first taught her how fulfilling making love could be. She adored him still, and she welcomed each of his lavish kisses and tender caresses until she was so lost in the rapture of his loving that nothing mattered but sharing that beauty with him.
Despite Erica's reassurances of her health. Viper treated her as though she were made of porcelain rather than flesh and blood. His adoring kisses were light as his lips traced the beauty of her graceful limbs from fingertip to throat, then toe to hip. The last time they had made love, his heart had been filled with the anguish of their parting, but now he knew they would have a lifetime to share their love. This night was only the first of many he planned to fill with passion rather than the lonely dreams of the last months, and when he moved over her, now poised to bring them together as one, he paused to whisper words of love he hoped she would never tire of hearing. "I will love you always, until the moon and stars no longer shine, until the sun no longer rises and sets."
Cushioned by his loving embrace. Erica felt as though she were floating in Viper's arms. His first thrusts were shallow, slow, and gentle, until the eagerness of her response convinced him he need hold nothing back. She dung to him as she felt his mood change from cautious to wild, but there was nothing he could ask of her that she would not willingly give. She loved his strength as well as his tenderness, the fire of his Indian soul as well as the wannth of his love. Their agile bodies entwined in a variety of graceful poses, their hearts pounding with a primitive beat, they passed the hours until dawn so eager for the splendor each gave the other that it seemed as though they had made love only once rather than a dozen
times. Their loving promises were slurred and their kisses accented with laughter, but when they parted company at Erica's door, each hoped the day would pass quickly so they could again fill the night with love.
When Sarah arrived to see Mark that day, she found him in a serious mood. He wanted to have Stephen christened, and thinking they could put a lace cap on the child to hide his dark hair, she saw no reason to object. "I'm sure hais won't mind if you have Stephen's christening without him. After all, if we don't do it soon, that beautiful christening dress Mother made for you will be too small for him, and it would be a shame not to use it."
Mark looked puzzled. "What does it look like? Is it all tucks and lace and that sort of thing?"
"Yes, I'm certain you must have looked adorable in it, although I wasn't there." Sarah gave her brother's hand a squeeze, then leaned over to kiss his cheek. They were outside in the garden where they usually spent their mornings with Erica, Viper, and the baby. "Have you asked anyone to be godparents?"
Erica had been surprised when Mark had mentioned the christening, since she had completely forgotten about it herself, but she didn't know what to say when he responded to his sister's question.
"We want you, of course, and Etienne. You'll do it won't you, Etienne?" he asked with a nervous smile. "I guess I should have asked you about it before now."
With Sarah and Erica eyeing him with skeptical glances, each waiting to see how he would refuse Mark's request gracefully. Viper waited a long moment before satisfying their curiosity. "I would be honored, monsieur. Do you want to have the ceremony here, or at the church?"
"Here," Erica announced before Mark could respond. Then realizing she had spoken too quickly, she explained her reasons. "I would prefer a private ceremony, and it would be ever so much nicer to do it out here in the garden. Don't you think that's a nice idea, Mark?"
"Yes, I guess so." Mark was holding the tomcat who seldom left his side. The animal slept on his bed at night and followed him wherever he went during the day. He
scratched the strif)ed animal's ears as he made another request. "Can you go down to the church today, Etienne? I want the christening tomorrow or the next day. We should have done it before this. Why didn't you plan it. Erica?"
Since Mark had not spoken a single critical word to her since he had been injured, Erica was dismayed by his tone, but she managed to reply sweetly. "You're right, I should have made the arrangements as soon as I felt up to it. Since I didn't, I'm so happy you remembered. Let's make a party of it, shall we? You could wear your uniform, and let's hire a photographer so Stephen can see how cute he looked when he was a baby. Would you like to do that?"
"I think that's a charming idea," Sarah agreed, but she was still amazed that Etienne had accepted Mark's request to be Stephen's godfather. "It would be the perfect time for a family portrait. I can stop by the church on the way home. That way I'll know when the priest can come, and I'll tell the photographer to be here, too."
Erica glanced at Viper, only to find him trying not to laugh. She leaned over to g^ve him a poke in the ribs. "Do you know what a godfather is supposed to do, Etienne?"
"But of course, madam. When a child is baptized, his godfather promises to see that he will be taught about God. I will be happy to teach your son all I know."
Unable to imagine what his beliefs might be, Sarah shook her head and excused herself. "If I'm going to arrange this by tomorrow, I'll have to hurry. I'll send you a note if I can do it."
"Thank you!" Mark called out as his sister walked away. When Erica left them a short while later to take Stephen indoors, he continued playing with the cat, not responding with any enthusiasm to Viper's attempts at conversation. Finally he suggested a topic of his own. "I made out a will leaving everything to Erica v/hen I joined the army," he began. "Money will never be a problem to her. I hope we can baptize the baby this week, then what more should I do? Can you think of something?"
At the mention of a will, Viper grew alarmed. "For what are you preparing, monsieur?"
Mark shrugged, as though their topic were a light one. "My head hurts nearly all the time now. I don't want to be a burden to Erica. If I get too sick to get out of bed.. . ."he
paused then, apparently unable to focus his thoughts for a moment. "I won't be a worse burden than I am now, I would rather be dead. How much laudanum do you think that would take?"
His question was asked with near childlike innocence, and, astonished, Viper needed a moment to come up with what he considered the perfect reply. "What you are suggesting would break your wife's heart, monsieur. You would not save her pain, but cause her the worst sort of grief."
"How would she know? Would you tell her?"
"No, of course not, but—"
"Would you want to live if you were sick more often than well?" Mark asked, thinking he could predict his friend's answer.
"If Erica were my wife, yes," Viper swore dramatically. "I would cling to life like ivy to a wall."
Mark laughed at that thought, and as his heart lightened, he grew more optimistic. "Maybe I will get better."
"I hope so, for your sake as well as your wife's." Viper reached out to give Mark an encouraging pat on the back. "Try and think happy thoughts rather than such sad ones."
"I will try," Mark agreed, "but you must promise me something."
"If I can," Viper replied cautiously, for he would not help Mark ta
ke his own life. It was not simply out of fear that he would be accused of murder, either. It was simply a secret he did not want to have to keep from Erica.
"I want you to look after Erica, as well as the baby. Will you do that? I had other friends, but they are in the army still. They could not be here when she needed them."
"I will be happy to help your wife in any way I can. Now I think we should go see if dinner is ready." Viper got to his feet, then gave Mark a hand. "Let us take each day as it comes and not worry so about tomorrow."
"I'm sorry, Etienne. I don't want to be a burden to you, too."
Viper grabbed Mark in a boisterous hug. "You are no burden, you are my best friend."
"Yes, we are best friends, aren't we?" Mark slipped his
arm around Viper's waist as they walked toward the house. "I'm a very ludcy man, aren't I? I have a beautiful wife, a fine son, and a best friend."
"Yes," Viper agreed. "We are both very lucky men."
As Erica watched the two men approach the house, she could not help but wonder at the cause of their high spirits. At least Mark seemed to be feeling well that day, but she was still quite worried about him. During dinner they continued to plan for the christening, and the next day it went as beautifully as she had hop>ed it would. Mark's christening gown fit Stephen perfectly, while the matching lace cap concealed his dark hair so the priest offered no comment on his coloring. The babe looked like a cherub and giggled happily through the brief ceremony. The photographer Sarah had found took photographs of them all in every jx)ssible combination, and, certain they would never forget so marvelous a day, Erica again looked forward to spending the night in Viper's arms.
By the time Viper turned the page of his calendar to September, an x marked nearly every day. Mark had never again spoken of death, and the brave hoped he had forgotten their conversation had ever taken place. It was not a subject he and Erica ever discussed, either, although he could sense it was on her mind as well as his, and yet when one afternoon Mark failed to awaken from his nap. Viper could not believe death had taken the young man so soon.