by Leah Martyn
‘Look.’ Dan spread his hands in a plea. ‘It’s complicated.’
Lindsey’s mouth felt stiff as she took another sip of water. ‘What is?’
He frowned. ‘Don’t pretend you didn’t see me with Brooke.’
Lindsey threw professional caution to the winds. ‘Don’t treat me like a fool, Dan. What the hell are you playing at?’
‘I told you before, Brooke is dealing with some personal stuff,’ he said, censure in the coolness of his tone. ‘She needed a friend.’
‘How touching.’ Lindsey actually managed a jagged laugh. ‘Dan the go-to man!’
A muscle at the corner of Dan’s mouth pulled tight and flickered. ‘This is all a bit juvenile, isn’t it?’
‘Let’s get professional, then.’ Lindsey swung round, tossing her paper cup into the bin. ‘Are you protecting Brooke?’
‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ In a gesture of a man almost at the end of his tether Dan jabbed his hands to the side of his head and hung on.
‘Why can’t you give me a straight answer?’ Two spots of colour glazed Lindsey’s cheeks.
‘Oh—hey guys...’ Vanessa popped her head around the door, her smile fading as she picked up on the thick tension in the room. ‘I was just looking for... Is everything OK?’
‘Everything is...fine.’ Dan was the first to gather himself.
‘Which one of us do you need, Van?’ Lindsey swallowed, her throat aching from the brutal exchange with Dan.
‘Well, Dan, actually,’ Vanessa said carefully. ‘We’ve a two-year-old with an inhaled foreign body. It looks a bit tricky. Andrew would like some guidance. If you wouldn’t mind?’
‘Where the hell are the paeds people when you need them?’ Dan growled.
‘Well, we’ve only one on staff and she’s on her honeymoon. There are a couple of others in town but they’re in private practice,’ Vanessa supplied helpfully. ‘No one is conducting a clinic here today. They usually do Monday and Thursday.’
Oh, Van, your timing is appalling, Lindsey gritted silently. Please, just stop the inane chatter and go away.
‘Give me a minute,’ Dan said. ‘Tell Andrew not to do anything until I get there.’
With Vanessa gone, the tense atmosphere heightened again. Lindsey and Dan were left scoping each other. Dan was the first to speak. ‘Are you saying I haven’t been upfront with you, Lindsey?’
Lindsey felt sick to her stomach. The thought that he might have divided loyalties only increased her unease. ‘You work it out, Dan.’
Tension crackled between them as brittle as spun sugar.
Dan felt his heart surge to a sickening rhythm. God, he didn’t want any of this. He felt racked with fatigue, having been dragged back on duty when he should have been on days off. Days he’d been looking forward to when he could spend some quality time with Lindsey after her shifts. Now it was all out the door like the garbage collection. But he had to try to salvage something. ‘Look.’ He pressed a hand to the back of his neck. ‘If this needs to be sorted, let’s sort it. But not here and not now. If I can get out of here at a decent hour, I’ll come over to your place. And we’ll talk.’
Lindsey lifted a shoulder indifferently. She didn’t want to be patted down like some kind of recalcitrant child if that’s what he was offering. Either they were equals or they were nothing. And right at the moment, she’d put her money on nothing. ‘Please yourself.’ She walked to the door and turned. She gave a sad little shake of her head. ‘I thought I could trust you.’
For a second Dan felt poleaxed. ‘You can,’ he said. But his words were lost in the vacuum of her leaving.
* * *
Working alongside someone you had a personal relationship with was the pits when it all went wrong. Lindsey’s throat constricted as she made her way back to the station. Or maybe she was just rubbish at relationships. She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was still hours until the end of her shift.
* * *
Dan felt like ramming his fist through the wall. Being at odds with Lindsey felt as bad as having a cartload of gravel dumped into his guts. He swished back the curtains on the paeds treatment room, vowing he would sort things, whatever it took.
* * *
The day wore on and Lindsey couldn’t believe how bad it felt to be offside with Dan. But there was no going back and she couldn’t see a way forward. ‘What is it, Jess?’ Lindsey looked up sharply as the junior nurse approached the counter.
‘Eighty-year-old male, Lewis Gaines,’ Jess, who was gaining experience on triage, said. ‘He’s very frail, seems quite dehydrated and his pulse is thready. I’ve given him water and told him to keep drinking. But I think he needs to be seen.’
‘Let’s see what we can do, then.’ Lindsey scooted down the list to see where she could juggle patients. ‘Is someone with Mr Gaines, a relative?’
‘No. He’s on his own. He had to come to the hospital on the bus!’ Jess was mildly outraged. ‘Someone should have cared enough to be with him, Lindsey.’
‘In an ideal world, you’d hope so. Right...grab Michelle. She’s just back from lunch.’
‘Oh. OK.’ Jess hesitated.
A jaded sigh left Lindsey’s mouth. She knew what this was about. Unfortunately, Michelle had a habit of being offhand with the junior nurses. It left them feeling unsure of their role and devalued as a result. Lindsey realised it was a personality thing with Michelle but they were supposed to be a team. ‘Take your patient along to cube one, please, Jess, and wait with him. I’ll ask Michelle to attend.’
As she made her way through to the cubicles, Lindsey let her pent-up breath go in a stream. It was turning out to be the shift from hell.
* * *
It was almost the end of the shift.
‘Hey, Lins, want to come for a drink after work?’ Vanessa came back to the station and propped herself at the counter.
‘Sorry, not today.’ Lindsey threw her pen aside and stretched. ‘I just want to get home and have a long, long shower.’
‘How did your meeting with the DON go?’
‘Clarissa took her usual laid-back approach. If Brooke speaks up for herself, it will all probably blow over. I couldn’t do anything more than tell it as I found it.’
‘You’re always scrupulously fair,’ Vanessa declared supportively.
‘I just want today over,’ Lindsey said with feeling. And she still had to deal with Dan this evening. That’s if he even showed up.
‘Rotten first day back for you,’ Vanessa commiserated. ‘Why don’t I do handover? Then you can take off and get that shower.’
‘Oh, cheers!’ Lindsey let her shoulders drop as if sloughing off a huge weight. ‘That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.’
* * *
Sweet God, how had all this happened? Slumped at his desk, Dan shaded his eyes with his hands. He had to fix things with Lindsey. She was keeping out of his way, delegating the other nurses to assist him.
He was still considering a plan of action when his mobile rang. Sitting back in his chair, he activated the call and then sat bolt upright as he listened.
‘You’ve done what?’
* * *
Lindsey’s thoughts were deeply focused as she made her way from the station to the staffroom.
‘Lindsey...’ Dan appeared out of nowhere and closed in beside her.
‘Oh!’ Lindsey drew to an abrupt halt. She brought her head up in question.
‘Martin is back on deck.’ Dan got straight to the point. ‘He’ll be in a bit later. I’ll be off duty. We can talk. I’ll come to you or we can meet somewhere neutral if you’d prefer.’
There was a wavering in her eyes, a sign of hesitation. Finally, ‘My place is fine. Come when you get off.’
Dan felt relief course through
him. ‘I should be out of here by six. Could I bring a takeaway?’
Lindsey looked up and saw the sheen of appeal in his eyes. ‘Thanks, but no need. I’ll fix us something. Just one thing, Dan.’
His brow rose briefly. ‘Name it.’
‘We sort this. Truthfully. No double-talk.’
A tiny pulse flickered in Dan’s cheek. His eyes softened, taking in the brave set of her head, the soft curve of her cheek, the sweet, very sweet fullness of her mouth. ‘You’ve got it.’
‘Do you have the address?’ she asked, almost formally.
‘You gave it to me on Sunday night. Remember?’
She did. Soft heat flooded her cheeks. She’d told him when they’d been snuggled up in bed during the storm and she’d foolishly thought that nothing or no one could touch their newfound happiness. Now they were both hurting and she hated it. In a gesture of fence-mending she put out her hand and he took it loosely. ‘See you later, then.’
‘As soon as I can make it.’
* * *
Lindsey couldn’t keep still. When would Dan get here? She just hoped he hadn’t had an emergency at the last minute. She had her stir-fry ready to just throw in the wok and she’d cooked rice to go with it. Taking a deep breath, she let it go. It felt like a first date all over again. She spun round from the kitchen bench, a little tumble in her stomach as the doorbell pealed.
Dan waited for Lindsey to open the door. Mentally, he was wiped. Today in Casualty had been one that took years from a health professional’s life. Add the stress of that to the personal stuff that had gone down...the thought of that made him go cold. Everything between them had so nearly run off the rails today.
Lindsey opened the door. ‘Hi...’ She met his gaze almost hungrily. ‘Come in, Dan.’
He nodded and stepped inside, realising he’d crack wide open if he didn’t hold her. Properly. With no agenda. And she had that gleam in her eyes. The one that could send a sweep of sensation down to his toes, igniting all the parts of his body in between. He held out his arms and she melted into them, wrapping herself tightly around him, feeling his chest rise and fall in a broken sigh. ‘God, I thought I’d lost you. Lost us.’
She reached up to bracket his face with her hands, her heart in her gaze. ‘I hated what happened today.’
‘Don’t go back there.’ Suddenly he looked uncertain. ‘Tell me I’m not dreaming. I am actually holding you?’
‘You’re not dreaming, Dan.’ Slowly she became aware of his palm resting warmly at her nape, the tips of his fingers playing gently with the strands of her hair.
‘Could we delay talking and just go to bed?’ he asked throatily. ‘I need to put things right.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘THAT WAS WONDERFUL.’
‘I gathered it must have been.’ Lindsey looked on indulgently as he forked up the last of the stir-fry from his bowl. ‘You had two helpings.’
‘Didn’t eat much today,’ he offloaded with a grin.
Lindsey looked across at him. ‘Today was pretty bad, wasn’t it? In all kinds of ways.’
‘Just marginally,’ he underplayed. ‘For most of it I felt as though I had a knife jammed between my ribs. How about you?’
‘No knife.’ Soft humour shone in her eyes. ‘But I wanted to just jump in my car and head back to Lark Hill and never set foot in a casualty department again.’
‘That would be a terrible shame.’ Dan swallowed the sudden razor-sharp emotion clogging his throat. Today could have all turned out so differently. ‘You’re an amazing nurse, Lindsey.’ His blue gaze shimmered over her face. ‘An amazing lover...’
She reached out her hand and they touched fingertips. ‘Only with you...’
Her mouth suddenly dried. What they’d found together was still so new. And wonderful. I think I love you. Only she didn’t voice that thought out loud.
She took her hand back and got to her feet. ‘Coffee?’
‘Oh, yes, please.’ He looked up and thanked her as she took his bowl.
‘How long have you had this place?’ Dan asked interestedly. They were relaxing on Lindsey’s big comfy sofa, their coffee and a plate of orange shortbread, compliments of Fiona, on the low table in front of them.
‘I bought it ages ago. When I decided this was where I wanted to be.’
‘For always?’
Lindsey looked startled. ‘I hadn’t thought about it like that. But my job is here. And my family.’ She frowned a bit. ‘Do you think that’s...odd?’
‘No.’ He gave her a long, intense look. ‘Knowing what you want, what makes you happy, sounds wonderfully...grounded.’
Lindsey felt a glitch of uncertainty. ‘Not boring?’
‘Is that even worth an answer?’
Probably not. ‘The house was once a miner’s cottage,’ Lindsey went on. ‘The structure was pretty sound when I bought it and I just refurbished it to my own taste as I went along.’
‘You’ve certainly put your own stamp on it.’ He looked around at the unmistakable Lindsey touches. ‘Some of your work?’ he asked, flexing a hand towards the table lamps with their blue and white ginger jar bases.
‘Some of my early pieces.’ She leant forward and poured their coffee. ‘I found the fireplace at an auction. It was in an old post office they were pulling down.’ She handed him his coffee. ‘I offered twenty dollars to get the bidding started and came home with it.’
Dan gave one of his lazy smiles. ‘I’m impressed.’
‘You should come with me some time.’ Lindsey pressed her head against his shoulder.
‘To an auction?’
‘I’m guessing you’ve never been to one. Am I right?’
‘Guilty as charged.’ His mouth tipped at one corner.
Lindsey took one of the tiny shortbreads and bit into it thoughtfully. ‘Are you still in the hospital accommodation?’
‘One of the flats. They’re not bad and close enough to the hospital to make getting to work on time less hassle.’
‘Nathan had a flat there as well, didn’t he?’
‘Still has. He didn’t entirely move out before he and Sami were married. Living there suits me for the present anyway.’
And then what? Lindsey wondered. She knew he had a work contract with the hospital and Dan, being Dan, would honour his contractual arrangements whatever it took. But when his commitment to Hopeton District ran out, then what? Would he go elsewhere? Then what about us? she wanted to ask. But couldn’t. Possibly because neither of them knew the answer.
Dan’s chest rose in a long, uneven breath. The faint drift of Lindsey’s distinctive floral shampoo was already escalating into the reality of her head on the pillow beside him earlier. And the completeness of their loving. It came as something of a shock to him that he’d never felt remotely like this before. The thought made him want to go forward with new purpose. Leave no room for doubt or misinterpretation. Lindsey deserved that. He expelled a rough sigh. ‘If you’re up for it, I guess we should talk about the elephant in the room.’
Well, no second-guessing there. ‘Brooke?’ Lindsey felt her heart beating in double-quick time. ‘I heard back from Clarissa. They had a long talk. At the end of it Brooke decided to resign. She’s left the hospital.’
‘She’s left town as well. She called me.’
So Brooke had his mobile number. Lindsey felt that sense of unease return. Suddenly her nerve ends were tingling, her breathing uncomfortably tight. She lifted her head, searing her gaze with his. ‘Is she in love with you?’
‘No.’ In a kind of releasing gesture Dan raised his hands, ploughing his fingers through his hair. ‘It’s a bit of an involved story. But now Brooke’s gone...’ He stopped and considered. ‘I don’t think it would hurt if I told you. But before I do I want you to know there was noth
ing going on in the car park when you saw us.’
Lindsey was far from mollified. ‘She was practically welded to your groin!’
He gave a reproving look before his mouth twitched into a transparently smug grin. ‘I can’t help it if women flock round me.’
‘Oh, get over yourself, Dr Rossi,’ she countered drily. ‘I was probably mistaken anyway.’ She spread her hands in a shrug. ‘Go on with your story.’
Dan looked serious for a moment. ‘It’s off the record, Lindsey.’
‘Of course. And before we go any further, I feel really sorry for Brooke. It was a rotten thing to happen but it did and there were consequences.’ When Dan remained silent, she asked, ‘Why did she come to Hopeton?’
‘Spot on the map,’ Dan said. ‘As random as that. And there were vacancies advertised at the hospital. It had been a while since she’d nursed but she took a chance and applied. She was offered a position in Casualty. She hadn’t wanted to begin there but she needed a job.’
‘But it seems as though she was far from comfortable, working there. What kind of training did she have?’
‘She was well qualified to work in Casualty. Brooke was in the ADF. She’d done two tours in Afghanistan.’
Lindsey frowned. ‘She was an army nurse?’
‘She was dedicated. And decorated.’
She blinked uncertainly. ‘So, what are you saying?’
‘In my opinion, Brooke is suffering from PTSD.’
‘Oh—that’s awful.’ Lindsey felt a flow of sympathy. ‘Because of her time in the Defence Force?’
Dan nodded. ‘Her fiancé was a soldier. They were both attached to the same company when they were overseas. He was wounded. Brought in when Brooke was on duty.’
‘Oh, Lord...’ Lindsey squeezed her eyes shut. It got worse and worse. She swallowed heavily. ‘Did he survive?’
‘No. They airlifted him out but it was too late. Brooke went with him. Not that it counted for much in the end.’
‘And Brooke told you all this on night duty?’
‘We had long stretches when it was quiet,’ Dan replied. ‘I’m pretty tuned in to mental fatigue.’ He didn’t add he’d done advanced training in stress management as part of his search and rescue course. ‘I sensed something about her. I put out a few feelers and she responded. I urged her to be upfront with Clarissa and ask for a transfer to another department. Anywhere but Casualty. I think she was getting around to it.’