by Jeff Inlo
Vraya smiled. She almost reached out to the delver, placed her hand on his shoulder, but she resisted. It would have only made things worse.
"I understand," she offered.
"Do you? Because I don't, and that's why we need to talk."
"And we'll get to that, I promise, but that's not how we should start."
"How should we start?"
Vraya continued to walk, didn't even slow her pace, but she knew she was about to touch upon a subject which would raise the delver's concerns. It was a topic of personal significance, the issue which was at the heart of Ryson's initial departure from Burbon.
"Let's start with what you witnessed in Demonspawn when you went to fight Reiculf," she announced with a somber tone. "Remember, I was watching you through the magic of your sword. I saw what you saw."
"What did you see?"
"I saw your soul, just as you did. And in that, I learned perhaps more than I ever could."
Just as Vraya guessed, Ryson was not quite ready to discuss that particular topic, at least not at that moment. He remained, as he plainly said, uncomfortable with the sorceress. Speaking about his soul wasn't going to ease that discomfort. He decided to move in a different path, though somewhat related.
"Many people have seen things like that without keeping watch over me. The spirit of Sy Fenden willingly shows himself to the people of Burbon."
"And the people of Burbon view the ghost captain as their protector. They don't necessarily see their own soul within the spirit."
"But it's the same thing."
"I don't think you believe that."
"Are you going to tell me what I believe now?"
"No, but you've talked about honesty, and I have to point out discrepancies in what you've said. When you first saw Sy's spirit, it created a host of questions for you, most of them weren't even clear to you. You understood those questions far better after you saw your own soul. Isn't that basically what you said to Captain Klusac when you left Burbon... and when you spoke to Reader Rachael?"
"And this is exactly what I mean about you having me at a disadvantage. Those were private conversations. What gave you the right to listen?"
"Nothing gave me the right, but the magic of your sword allowed for it. I didn't cast a specific sight spell. I followed the echoes and reflections from the enchantment of your sword."
"And that makes it alright... because you were able to follow some enchantment?"
"That's a difficult question. How would you answer it? You have the ears of a delver. You've listened to conversations that weren't meant for your ears. You did so because you had the ability."
"I did so because it was necessary."
"And it was necessary for me to watch you. If I didn't, Holli and Jure may have never survived Neltus' attack in the desert. I was the one who freed them from the sand. They might still be buried if I didn't watch you as I have."
"Just how many of my private conversations have you listened to?"
"Probably more than you like, but less than you think."
"That's not an accurate answer."
"I never kept count."
"But it's clearly more than you can remember," Ryson challenged.
Vraya showed no hostility, but she didn't back down either. She answered with a willingness to help the delver find the answers he sought.
"I remember each one, because each one has changed me, even if it was only slightly. Change is my province, but do you really want me to stand here and go through them so I can give you a number?"
"No, but I'm trying to understand all this," Ryson said with growing frustration. "I've asked you why you've been watching me, and you give me these answers that make it sound like you've been some kind of apprentice hoping to learn from me."
"That's fairly accurate."
"But I'm not a spell caster. You should have been watching Enin, or Jure, or even Ansas."
"To a degree, I've studied all of them."
"But you didn't watch them like you watched me."
"No, I didn't."
"So what is it you can learn from me that you can't learn from them?"
Vraya decided to reveal as much as possible, even though she feared it might add to the delver's confusion.
"I told you that you've used magic as a delver, but do you know what magic really is?"
"No, I have no idea, and I don't see..."
"Give me a chance. It may explain a great deal. If you understand how I use the magic, you'll know me better. You'll also understand why I can cast in black energy, and that's clearly a point of concern for you."
"Fine."
Vraya looked down the dark alleys and then up at the night sky. The stars were dazzling, but she found comfort in the blackness around the tiny dots of light. It reminded her of the power within her, and she spoke of it with great appreciation and respect.
"Magic is a special kind of force waiting to be manipulated. Without direction, it just flows across the land not even creating as much as a small breeze. With direction, a small portion of it can become a powerful storm, a raging fire, a tidal wave."
"I already know that, but that doesn't explain why you cast in ebony magic, or even how you can cast spells at all."
"The ability to use magic depends on a multitude of factors," the sorceress explained. "Creativity, imagination, composure, self-awareness, focus, determination; all of these play a role, and they have to line up in a way that will allow for a grasp of the energy. An individual with too much imagination and not enough focus won't be able to place the proper constraints on the energy. Those with great concentration and discipline but little creativity aren't able to mold the energy into a usable form."
"What about the difference in colors? Why do you cast in black, while Holli casts in green, and Neltus casts in red?"
"That's usually nothing more than the inherent talents you're born with. Some people are natural born swimmers, others know how to play music just by ear. They never practiced. It's just something they have within them."
"And that's all there is to it?"
"Of course not. The core is what you're blessed with, but utilizing it takes practice. It's also a skill that can be developed with knowledge and experience, but there's something else as well. The ability to cast magic is reflected in the connection between a belief and the actual substance of that belief."
"I don't understand," Ryson admitted.
"Let me give you an example; Reader Rachael of Connel believes in the Book of Godson. The book is the substance of her belief. Her faith is the belief itself. If she were to cast spells based on her faith, the power of those spells would be defined by the strength of the link between her actual faith and the object of that faith. That's what the ability to cast spells really is... the measure of a belief, not the belief itself."
"I've never heard that before."
"That's because few people see the magic the way I do."
"Then how do you know you're right?"
"I don't, but I rely on my instincts, just as you do."
Ryson knew it was difficult to argue with instincts, but he could always rely on facts. He considered Vraya's theory in regard to those he knew, and he offered his reservations in an even more personal nature.
"Linda is immune to magic. Does that mean she doesn't believe in anything?"
"Of course not. You know that's not true."
"But then you're saying her belief isn't that strong, not even strong enough to be measured."
"Actually it's the opposite. Her belief is so strong there's no way to measure it. That's why she's immune."
"And what is it she believes in so strongly?"
"You."
Ryson didn't even pause. He was ready with a response as if he already knew what the sorceress was going to say.
"That's the obvious answer, but it might not be completely accurate. I don't question her feelings towards me, but we've been through some tough times. She's had her struggles, just like me. I know
she has her doubts about our lives together."
"Does she? About what's important? I don't think so. Think about what it must be like to be married to Ryson Acumen. Think of everything she's gone through, about what she's had to face. Her belief in the two of you remaining together must be beyond measuring. That's why she's immune. The strength of that belief is incalculable."
"But I thought she was immune to magic before she even met me."
"She was, but that doesn't mean her beliefs weren't within her. They were always there. They just needed the proper object. You."
Ryson became slightly more uncomfortable talking about Linda. He decided to look at other spell casters; powerful sorcerers and wizards.
"But if what you say is true, then all the spell casters should be helpful, doing what's right."
"When did I say decency or integrity was a requisite for casting powerful spells?"
"Just now. You said magical ability was a measure of belief. Doesn't that mean it's a reflection of character?"
"I think it is, but there's nothing that would prevent magic casters of poor character from having strong beliefs. It depends on the belief itself."
"So if they believe in something evil, they'll turn out to be evil?"
"More than likely."
Ryson didn't appreciate that answer, and he attempted to find a flaw in the sorceress' theory.
"Ansas was extremely powerful."
"So he was," Vraya agreed.
"Ansas didn't believe in anything."
"Not true. Ansas believed in himself, and not necessarily in a good way. He was the most arrogant individual I have ever come across. He believed the magic could transcend him into an immortal existence."
"So why were his spells so powerful?"
"Because the link between his arrogance and his own power was extremely strong. Like I said before, the belief itself doesn't have to be virtuous or even honorable in nature. Magical ability doesn't distinguish between good and evil. It's just a measure of the strength of a belief, not the quality of that belief."
"What about Neltus?"
"Have you ever met a more selfish person?" Vraya asked.
"I don't think so, but how is that a belief?"
"It's a belief that he's entitled to things, that his desires are more important than anyone else's."
"So everyone who casts spells of strength has some kind of strong belief."
"Everyone I've come across does."
"What about Jure?"
"Jure believes in following the guidance he's been given. He believes in Providence... that eventually the answer for any problem will come to him from a greater power."
"And Enin?"
"Enin believes in many things. I think that's why he was so powerful. He believes in allowing people to make their own choices and not interfering in their lives. He believes people need to be accountable for their own actions, but he also believes in helping people, giving advice, and protecting the innocent. Those beliefs didn't always stay in alignment. Many times he ran into situations where he had to decide whether to help or not to interfere. It tested his beliefs, but he never gave up on any of them. He would just sort through them the best he could. That's why he believed balance was so important. He still does, but the balance weighs on him differently now."
"And what about you? What do you believe in?"
"You're not going to believe it."
"Try me."
"Loyalty."
"Why wouldn't I believe it? There's nothing wrong with loyalty. It's an admirable quality."
Vraya appreciated the comment, for she saw loyalty within the delver as well. It was one of the reasons she chose to watch him, but she wondered if Ryson saw devotion in the same manner as she did.
"What does loyalty mean to you?" she questioned.
"Staying true, sticking by someone, being dependable and reliable."
"Absolutely, and you just gave a great description for consistency. Now think about it. What's the power of my magic?"
"Alteration."
"You're right. And loyalty is about being unalterable in your beliefs and actions. Don't you see the inconsistency?"
"So you're saying you're an aberration?"
"More like a contradiction."
A Contradiction.
It was the word Rul Saattan used to describe Baannat, as well as Ryson himself.
"Rul called me a contradiction."
"I'm not surprised."
"And is that why you've been watching me," Ryson asked, "because you think we're similar?"
"To a degree, yes, and that's why you're uncomfortable around me. Your instincts and your senses have already alerted you to that fact. You've listened to what I've said, and you may not agree with what I've done, but you understand it. I've been watching you... and learning, just like you go out and explore to find answers to your own questions."
"But why do you consider me a contradiction?"
"You're a delver, you explore on your own, but you're at your strongest when you help others. You bring people together even while you'd rather be alone on some hilltop searching for secrets no one else knows are there."
"That can't be all of it. Everyone needs time alone."
"I agree, and there is more to it than that. Consider everything about you. You look for answers by using your own senses, but you carry an enchanted sword around that will give you direction through magical decree. Normally, you need to see things for yourself, but you accept the sword's messages as indisputable truths."
"Am I supposed to ignore them?"
"No, but isn't it remarkable how you've become so comfortable with that blade? I honestly believe it would have driven a different delver crazy by now."
Ryson grimaced. He never quite knew what to make of the Sword of Decree. It didn't offer him answers every time he needed them. Often, it left him to his own devices. He wondered why it allowed him to make so many mistakes when it could have prevented a number of disasters by revealing the absolute truth behind any number of mysteries.
And yet, he had learned to depend on it, to use it when the stakes were enormously high. He accepted the messages from the sword because it guided him when he was uncertain of which path to take. He did not harbor any frustration toward the weapon and its seemingly unpredictable enchantment. Believing his attachment to the blade was being questioned, he found it necessary to defend his use of the sword.
"What am I supposed to do? Just throw it away? The elves gave me this sword as a gift. And it does more than just offer intermittent guidance."
"I know that. It's a beacon, and in more ways than one. It does more than just light up the darkness. It has given hope to many."
"Then it's really not a contradiction for me to carry it."
"Even you don't believe that. It's still a sword, just like the battle blades you wear on your hips. You avoid killing at nearly any cost, and yet those swords are deadly in your quick hands."
"I need them. They remind me how dangerous this land has become since the magic came back."
"And that's another interesting aspect of you. You were once a magical individual in a non-magical world. Before you destroyed the Sphere of Ingar, there were no spell casters, no magical energies flowing across the land, but the magic swelled within you. Your very existence was a contradiction."
"But that's changed. Magic is all over the place."
"That's true, and you've changed as well, especially recently. You saw your soul, and now you have to reconcile what that means while you're in a mortal existence. It's like you've gone right back to the beginning, being filled with magic when no one else could cast spells. Now you're dealing with a spiritual awareness in a land based on physical consequences."
"I'm just looking for answers," Ryson argued, unwilling to see himself as some abstract ambiguity. "I've always looked for them. This is no different."
"Of course it's different. That's why you see Sy as more than a protector. You see the ghost captain as a
reflection of yourself. You wonder why he's here. I wonder the same thing. Does he want to be here? Is he trapped? Is it a reward? Is it a punishment?"
Ryson realized the discussion had been sidetracked. He had wanted to find out about Vraya, but instead, they were talking about magic, his sword, what it was like to be a delver, and even Sy's spirit. It was time to return to his main concerns.
"So now we're going to talk about Sy? No, we need to focus on you."
"I'm willing to answer your questions."
"You spoke about loyalty before. What are you loyal to?"
"Things that are important to me."
"Too vague. Give me an example."
"You."
Ryson shook his head, but wasn't sure what to say. He had no desire to be the object of some stranger's loyalty. He was burdened with enough worries. It suddenly felt as if he was being placed in a position of adoration, and he didn't like it.
The sorceress expected as much.
"And that's another reason you're uncomfortable with me," Vraya explained. "It goes beyond me simply watching you like some bystander during a battle. You compared me to an apprentice. I think that's true. But I keep watching you because I am loyal. I have found you to be a remarkable individual. I admire how you help others, how you listen, and how you hold to your principles. I am awed by your relationship with your wife, and your friends... and your dog."
"This sounds like it borders on obsession."
"There is a fine line between obsession and loyalty. I do my best not to cross it."
"Maybe you already have."
"Perhaps I have, but I've tried not to be intrusive."
"I'm not sure that matters. I might not have known what you were up to, but that doesn't make it any easier now that I do. It's like I've been on a stage but never knew there was an audience. It's more than just uncomfortable, it's disturbing."
Vraya saw the expression on Ryson's face and she suddenly felt as if she had committed what she considered an unthinkable act. She wondered if she had offended the delver.
"You think it was wrong to watch you as I have?"
"Don't you?"
"I didn't, but now that I see how you object, I think maybe I was wrong. It might have been better to ask your permission."