by Joanna Wayne
Susan left the dirty dishes stacked in the sink and hurriedly called her two determined patients, offering to meet them for late-night appointments. They both turned her down. New Orleans was a city where celebrating started late in the evening, and both of them had other plans they didn’t want to change.
Susan’s guilt diminished greatly. If their problems weren’t significant enough for them to miss a holiday party, then they certainly weren’t significant enough for Susan to miss Rebecca’s concert. She stopped at the mirror and smoothed on some lipstick and a touch of blush, taking an extra few seconds to tuck escaping hairs back under the control of her pearl barrette.
“You’ll do,” she said to the reflection in the mirror, and “do” was good enough. Rebecca was the prima donna tonight. Grabbing a tissue to blot her lips, she ran to help Rebecca dress in her white cotton blouse with the Peter Pan collar and her red velvet skirt, the one they had bought on their last shopping adventure.
A few minutes of pushing, pulling and tucking and Rebecca twirled to watch her full skirt bell out around her short legs. She did look like a holiday doll, Susan decided. She hugged her, and Rebecca hugged back.
Tonight should be special. A treat for all of them after the horrors of the last few days. Not that Rebecca and Timmy knew about the murders or even the notes, but they knew she’d been upset. And they were well aware that there was always at least one stranger in the house.
Both Rebecca and Timmy had questioned her about the visitors. Susan had explained the police officers away as some friends of her father who needed a place to stay for a few days. At three, Timmy took her at her word, but Rebecca clearly had her doubts.
“Up on the housetop…”
Susan left the room as Rebecca put her strong vocal cords to work. “It’s your turn, Timmy,” she said, stopping to turn off the television set. “Let’s get ready to go.”
“No, I don’t wanna hear Rebecca sing.”
“Sure you do. Your sister’s a very good singer and has strong vocal cords.” Susan took his chubby hand and led him to the bathroom. “I’ll bet Missy Sippen’s brother will be there. And after Rebecca sings, you can ride the carousel.”
His eyes lit up. “Can I ride a big horse?”
“The biggest one they have. And then we can ride a train through trees decorated with millions of Christmas lights.”
“A real train with a whistle?” He demonstrated the shrill whistling to be sure Susan understood.
“Yes, a real train with a whistle, but it’s a miniature.”
“What’s that?”
“It means it’s smaller than regular trains. This one runs through the park and it was made especially for children.”
“And big boys?”
“And big boys like you. Even adults can ride, so I can sit next to you.”
“What about Santa?”
“I imagine he’ll be at the North Pole making toys. It’s only three days until Christmas, you know.”
“Not that Santa. Our Santa.”
“Oh, Jack. No, I don’t think he’ll be there tonight. He has work to do.” She combed Timmy’s hair and straightened his shirt. “You look mighty handsome,” she said, kissing his cheek.
“As handsome as Detective Santa?”
“You really like him, don’t you, Timmy?”
“Yes. Don’t you?”
“Yes, Timmy. I like him. I like him a whole lot.”
Susan went to get the children’s coats and hats from the closet, but the last part of her talk with Timmy replayed in her mind. She more than liked Jack. She was in love with him.
But when this was over, where would she be? Alone, reliving the passion he’d awakened? Missing him? Climbing back into her protective shell, more afraid than ever of involvement and intimacy. She’d made her choice, and if it came to that, she’d handle it.
But what about the kids? They’d already lost so much. Was it fair to bring him into their lives the way she had the last few days? Decorating the Christmas tree, taking them for a ride in the carriage, even reading them stories and tucking them into bed. They had already lost the two most important people in their lives.
Rebecca skipped into the room singing the chorus to “Jingle Bells,” and Susan forced a smile to her lips. “I think it’s time for us to get you and your strong vocal cords to the park.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Rebecca twirled one last time before settling down long enough to don her coat and hat.
Susan let Officer Hammonds know it was time to leave and then helped Rebecca and Timmy get their coats buttoned straight and their hats tied tight. It was only a short walk to the covered parking space behind the courtyard where she kept the car, but they would need their coats to stay warm at the outdoor concert.
Tonight should be a special night, Susan reminded herself, as they marched out the back door, accompanied by Betty Hammonds. That meant she had to keep unpleasant thoughts at bay for a couple of hours. No trying to second-guess Jack’s intentions, and no thinking about killers.
Of course, that would be a little hard to do with a bodyguard at her side.
“Dr. McKnight, wait!”
She turned as Bobby Chambers chased her across the back courtyard. “What are you doing back here?”
“I came this way so I could see if your car was here,” he explained. “It was, and the gate wasn’t locked, so I cut through the back way.” He nodded toward the narrow passage between two apartments that connected the courtyard to the side street.
“Is something wrong?” She tried to lower her voice and disguise the panic. She did a poor job. Hammonds moved in closer, and Bobby glared at her suspiciously. Susan had no choice but to offer introductions.
“This is Betty Hammonds, a friend of my late father’s. She’s staying with me for a few days.”
They exchanged handshakes, and Bobby turned back to Susan. “Nothing’s happened, at least nothing that has to do with business, but I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
“Unless we can have this talk in sixty seconds, Bobby, we’ll have to make it later. Rebecca’s class is singing at Celebration in the Oaks tonight, and I’m afraid traffic will be backed up getting into City Park.”
“My class sings at 8:30, but we have to be there at 8:00. You can come and hear me, if you want to.”
“Not tonight, Rebecca. Tonight I have to talk to your mother.”
Susan detected an urgency in Bobby’s voice that set her nerves on edge. “I wish I could stay and talk now, Bobby, but I can’t.”
He stepped closer. “Why don’t you let me drive you to the park? Mrs. Hammonds can take the children in your car and you can meet them there.”
Susan was on the verge of agreeing when she looked up and met Betty Hammonds’ warning stare. “I can’t, Bobby. Not tonight.” His face fell, and she put a hand on his arm. “I’m truly sorry. Can we talk later?”
“I guess I have no choice.”
Shoulders slumped, he walked back the way he’d come. A couple of lead weights settled on Susan’s shoulders. Complications, demands, desires, and danger were ganging up against her. Something would have to give soon.
She climbed into the car and waited until everyone had buckled up before backing onto the street and into the line of early-evening traffic.
Maybe a night of carols and the glow of a million lights shining from the tops of century-old oak trees would be just what she needed. That and a night without any notes from party crashers.
A sigh escaped her lips. It was almost too much to hope for.
SUSAN SAT IN THE second row, surrounded by parents and grandparents, all listening to the off-key performance by the first graders.
Timmy slid from his folding chair to the cold ground, pretending that he’d fallen. He’d been as good as gold for the first twenty minutes of the concert, but his ability to sit still had run its course. She nodded to Officer Hammonds and took Timmy’s hand, leading him to the area behind the folding chairs. Hammonds followed.
�
��This is some display,” Hammonds commented. “I’ve never been out here during the Christmas season before. I’d heard about Celebration in the Oaks, but I had no idea it was so impressive.”
“And this is just a small part of it,” Susan said, as Timmy pulled her within touching distance of a spruce tree that had been decorated by one of the local schools. “There’s a driving tour that winds for miles beneath an oak archway of lighted stars, angels, candles and other Christmas symbols. And then there’s the walking tour. A virtual fairyland.”
“I’ll have to get back out here before the season’s over.”
“It’s practically bright as day out here with all the lights, and there are people everywhere. If you like you could take the walking tour while we stand in line to ride the carousel and miniature tram.”
Hammonds shook her head, her frustration obvious. “Don’t even think about it, Susan. It may be light where we’re standing right now, but there are pockets of darkness all over this park. There’s no way of knowing who’s watching from around any corner.”
Susan pulled her jacket around her, suddenly cold and wary. Perhaps it was just the power of suggestion, but it was as if she could feel someone watching her, feel the presence of an evil that shouldn’t be here in this place of beauty and peace.
She reached down and picked up Timmy and carried him closer so that she could hear the last few songs of the concert. She needed the message of the carols to ease the anxiety that gripped her heart. Gabriel was in jail. The nightmare was supposed to be over, but the presence of Hammonds at her side told her Jack was not convinced that it was.
Gabriel and Darby. The psychopath and the surgeon. The man who’d killed his parents, and the man whose life had been shaped by his mother’s infidelities.
It might be possible they had joined in some bizarre murderous scheme, but it was easier to believe that Santa Claus was real and that his reindeer really did poop on roofs. Still, something was wrong. Or at least, Jack thought so. The presence of Hammonds was proof of that.
THE LINE FOR THE TRAIN ride stretched around the ropedoff loop twice and out to the back gate by the time Susan, the children and Officer Hammonds took their places at the end.
“Why don’t I step to the stand over there and get hot chocolate for all of us while you and the kids hold our place in line,” Susan said, sure her offer would be rejected.
Hammonds stared at the stand for a minute and then scanned the area behind them. “You stay here,” she said. “I’ll get the chocolate and be right back.”
Uneasiness twitched in Susan’s stomach as Hammonds set off in the opposite direction. It eased quickly. Hammonds made a stop to chat with the uniformed policeman standing between them and the gate. He nodded and smiled in Susan’s direction.
Double coverage. She and the children couldn’t be safer, but the conversation with Jessie still haunted her mind. John Jasper Darby, a man on the loose who oscillated between charming gentleman and ruthless killer.
She remembered the original trial and the evaluation the judge had requested. She had assisted her father, but he’d pretty much left that one to her. One of the few times she’d felt he trusted her judgment. Later, she’d learned he had no choice but to depend on her. He’d been ill that week, suffering from a heart condition he’d never told her about. The one that eventually took his life.
“The line’s moving. We might get on this time,” Rebecca chirped.
“I don’t think so, sweetie. There’s a lot of people in front of us.”
“We can’t leave Mrs. Hammonds,” Timmy protested “She has the chocolate.”
“Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!”
“It’s Santa,” Timmy squealed, running toward the red-suited man approaching them.
Susan smiled. She recognized the “ho.” In seconds, the fat man was surrounded by not only Rebecca and Timmy but dozens of children, tugging on his suit and telling him what they wanted for Christmas. He passed out candy canes to all of them and gave high fives and a couple of kisses to pink-cheeked babies.
Hammonds returned with the chocolate just as the line started moving again. Rebecca and Timmy came tearing back, not willing to lose their place in line even for Santa
Jack followed them. He kissed Susan on the cheek, and the children who were watching his every move burst into giggles.
“And what do you want, little girl?”
“A sane man.”
“You wouldn’t like him,” he whispered in her ear. “Sane men never take rides on roller coasters.”
“You really do work at the mall when you’re off duty, don’t you? They probably don’t even have to pay you.”
“Pay? You mean people get money for this?”
She shook her head in hopelessness and sipped her chocolate. Last night she’d been naked in bed with this man. Love definitely addled the brain.
Rebecca reached up and took Jack’s hand. “Will you ride the train with us, Santa?”
“I don’t have a ticket.”
Hammonds poked hers at him. “You take mine, and I’ll go take the walking tour. I’m sure I’m not needed around here anymore.”
“As a matter of fact,” Jack said, “you can have the rest of the night off. I’ll stay on duty until your replacement arrives. But stay where I can get you if something comes up and I have to run.”
Run, as in to the scene of another murder. Susan didn’t miss his meaning. The lines dividing Jack’s two worlds were becoming blurred. Only they’d never been separate, except in Susan’s mind. She understood that now.
Santa suits and murders, kisses and clues, making love and interrogating. All part of the complex human being who was Jack Carter. So where did a quiet, predictable psychologist fit into his world? Part of the excitement, or merely a means to solve the top-priority case? Or was it all one and the same to him?
The line moved again, and they were herded through the turnstile. Rebecca and Timmy jumped aboard and ran to the first available seat. Jack and Susan squeezed in beside them. Seconds later the whistle blew, the train moved out of the station, and everybody’s eyes grew wide in wonder.
The rickety wooden train itself was a sight to behold. Each open car was outlined in garlands of sparkling lights. They rode the rough railroad ties past the antique carousel and through a joyful scene of other turning, twisting carnival rides. Children and grown-ups alike waved to them as they chugged by, and Santa, Timmy and Rebecca waved back to everyone.
The train blew its whistle loudly as it crossed a park road. They moved beyond the crowds of people and into a Christmas wonderland accompanied by a constant chorus of oohs and ahs.
“Look, there’s reindeer,” Timmy said, pointing to a a spot under the trees where several lighted specimens stood beside a toy-filled sleigh.
“And look at that tree,” Rebecca chanted. “It’s taller than our house.” It was, covered in twinkling splendor and topped with a silver star.
They crossed a pond where lighted frogs jumped on cue and a bright green alligator moved across the waters, all fake and harmless and shimmering in the moonlight like diamonds.
“Look over there, Auntie Mom, there’s baby Jesus,” Timmy crooned, pointing to a life-sized nativity up ahead, complete with painted wooden camels and wise men bearing gifts. The train slowed for everyone to admire the works of art and then disappeared under a shower of millions of twinkling lights as they rode under the famed archway.
“I’m glad I caught up with you in time for this,” Jack said nestling her under his arm and against his furtrimmed chest.
“How did you find us?” she asked.
“You can never run from the long arms of the law.”
“Hammonds called you, didn’t she, and told you where we would be.”
“You don’t let a man have any secrets, do you?”
It wasn’t true. She was certain Jack had many secrets, that he told her only what he thought she had to know.
She looked up as the man-made lights a
bove them disappeared, letting the real stars and a full moon shine through the bare branches of the magnificent trees. Celebration in the Oaks, a perfect name for the wonders all around them.
But even splendor such as that couldn’t fully override the thoughts that had wormed their way back into her mind. “Did you find out anything more about Darby this afternoon?” she asked, as the train neared the station.
“Not yet,” he whispered, “all I want to think about now is you.” He tucked a thumb under her chin and tilted her face upward.
She stared into his eyes. They gleamed from the reflection of bright, twinkling lights, but were still shaded with desire.
“Merry Christmas, Susan.” He touched his lips to hers and she melted in his arms, unaware that the train had stopped until the passengers around her erupted in cheers.
She jerked away from him, her face on fire from the mother of all blushes.
“Auntie Mom, you kissed Santa Claus,” Timmy exclaimed.
“Santa knows a good thing when he sees it, Timmy,” Jack answered.
“Can we ride one more time?” Rebecca begged. “There’s no school tomorrow.”
Timmy joined in the chorus. “Yes, can we please, just one more time?”
“The line is too long,” Susan explained. “Besides, once is enough.”
Rebecca’s bottom lip jutted out and she gave Susan her most pitiful, imploring gaze. Timmy just looked longingly at the train that was already loading with the next round of excited passengers.
Jack leaned over and whispered in her ear. “You didn’t think once was enough last night.”
“Oh, good grief. I give up.” She turned her back on all of them and marched to the back of the line, but she was no longer cold. Just the mention of last night had warmed her considerably.
SUSAN HELPED TIMMY with his seat belt while Jack and Rebecca climbed out of the car. Both Timmy and Rebecca were well aware by now that the Santa in their car was Jack, but it hadn’t dimmed the magic for either of them. The logic of believing in Santa, even when you knew who the man in the red suit really was, escaped Susan, but apparently neither Rebecca nor Timmy had a problem with it.