Terence loved Colleen. That was the truth. He knew too that he had hurt her significantly, and that he was still hurting her. But Terence didn’t know how to stop hurting Colleen without upsetting his mother. He only knew that he didn’t think he could handle it if Colleen left him.
Then tell your mother to mind her own business.
Terence straightened at that thought before he quickly rebuked it. He had to honor his mother. The Bible said so. Now, Terence felt guilty that he had even entertained such a rebellious thought. He bowed his head, clasped his hands, and prayed earnestly. “Lord, please take away these bad thoughts I have been having about my mother. Please forgive me for not honoring her with my thoughts. Lord, I seek your help with bridging the gap with Mom and Colleen. I really need them to like each other. Please, God,” he begged, “don’t take Colleen away from me. I know I don’t deserve her and that I have not cherished her the way I should, but I honestly couldn’t bear it if I lost her. Help me, Father, to make the best decision. Amen.”
The next day Terence bought Colleen a lovely bracelet. It had a beautiful heart-shaped pink diamond encrusted on it. He showed it to his mother to see what she thought.
“Oh, Terence, I love it. I think it’s dainty and just so pretty.”
“Good,” he said, pleased. “I wanted to get your blessing before I give it to Colleen.”
“Colleen?” Francine’s confusion was evident. “I thought it was for . . . Never mind.” She wrapped her arms around herself in a protective gesture.
Terence rushed to her side. He grabbed his mother’s hands. “What is it, Mom? What were you going to say?”
“Colleen does not deserve that bracelet after all the heartache she put you through disappearing all those days. You called me distraught, and frankly, I’ve never heard you sound so out of it before. Besides, you can never be too sure about anyone.”
Something about her tone made Terence uneasy. “Mom, what are you implying? Just say it, will you? My mind is going into some dangerous territory. So now is not the time to be vague.”
“Well,” Francine played with the collar of her shirt. She arched her eyebrow. “I can’t help but wonder if Colleen was with someone all those nights she went to,” she formed quotations marks with her hands, “‘cool off” at the hotel. I just don’t think she would be all by herself in a strange place and in a strange bed. Not even Gina, her best friend for almost fifteen years, knew where she was. Warning bells would be going off if it were me, son.”
Terence stewed. He pondered the truth of his mother’s insinuation. She was right. Gina hadn’t known where Colleen was, and that was odd, because they were practically joined at the hip.
“Tea, dear?” Francine asked him.
Her saccharine tone did nothing to calm the war suddenly raging in his head. “No, no . . .” Terence sank into his mother’s couch. Who? Who was she with?
Instantly, everything came together.
Felix! That must have been what they were talking about outside the church. The two of them had been plotting—their lovers’ getaway. Imagine that he had actually believed Colleen when she told him that she didn’t know the man.
Yet, they had been standing really close—planning their clandestine affair. Then Colleen had made sure she found a reason to start an argument so she could take off. The little manipulative tramp. “I don’t believe her—that she would do something like this to me,” Terence fumed. Visual images of Colleen and Felix entangled in the sheets reverberated in his mind, driving him past the point of reason. He closed his eyes, willing the images away.
Fiery anger surfaced. Thoughts plagued him of another man caressing and making love to his wife. Filled with rage, he tossed the delicate bracelet on his mother’s coffee table in disgust. “I’ve got to go.”
Terence jabbed his hands in his pockets to retrieve his keys and moved toward the door. How could Colleen come home and make love to him after she’d spent the night wrapped up in someone else’s arms?
“Leaving so soon? I hope it’s not because of what I said, because I would just feel really awful.”
Terence stopped and turned to face his mother. She looked fretful. “No, Mom, you’ve done nothing wrong. All you’re doing is looking out for me, and I am grateful to have you. I would’ve made a fool of myself if you hadn’t shown me the light.”
Colleen had a lot of explaining to do.
Terence was so enraged with jealousy that it distorted his ability to think and it made him irrational. He left in such a hurry to confront his wife that he missed the self-satisfied and smug expression written all over his mother’s face.
Francine heard the door slam and smiled.
She picked up the bracelet and brought it closer to her face. She turned her hands this way and that while she examined it. “It’s exquisite. My son has excellent taste.” This was the kind of gift that came from a man who was truly in love.
Well, it was just the proper gift from a son to his mother.
Holding it in her hands, Francine wandered up the stairs to her bedroom to put it in her jewelry box. She’d wait awhile before debuting it in public. She had just the right dress to accentuate it when she went to church.
Chapter Seventeen
Colleen slowly eased up off the bathroom floor and got on all fours. She could barely move, and there was laborious effort just in that simple task. She used her hands to wipe her mouth, which was still covered in blood. At a snail’s pace, she crawled over to the face basin and gripped the porcelain until she stood and gently washed her face.
Looking in the mirror, Colleen saw that her lips were swollen and bruised. Her long, curly hair was disheveled, and she looked awful. She started to cry again.
She could not believe that Terence had done this to her. He had come home that night in a terrible rage, accusing her of having an affair with Felix. Colleen had not even remembered who Felix was until Terence had shouted that he had seen them talking together outside the church.
She had started yelling back at him, even though she was terrified. This was the first time that she had actually heard Terence roar from rage, and it petrified her. Terence had rambled on and on about how she had played him for a fool. Then he just hauled off and slapped her across her mouth. Her head swung back sharply from the impact, and she got a serious case of whiplash.
Colleen had been too stunned to do anything as her mouth hung open. She could not believe what he had done. Then Terence had the audacity to start preaching at her, of all things. The nutcase spouted scriptures while her head pounded and she bled from her injury. “Thou shalt not commit adultery!” he’d screamed at the top of his lungs as he torturously pounded on her body like it was a punching bag.
Colleen had wailed, “You’re demented and crazy,” then seeing him advance, with terror-filled eyes, she’d raced into the bathroom.
She’d vomited and spat up blood, after which she lay on the floor and cried.
That had been an hour ago and still she remained confined in her escape room. What had she done to make Terence so mad at her? She racked her brain to recall her words to Felix and her body posture—anything that would clue her in on the logic behind the raging lunatic she’d encountered that day. But that was the dilemma; a raging lunatic had no logic. After all, Colleen had been home all day, and she hadn’t even gone anywhere. How could Terence accuse her of cheating?
Colleen sank back down to the floor and put her head into her hands. She had to get out of here. She was married to a madman. “Lord, what is your will? Please tell me. Was Terence just the means to lead me back to you? Did I complicate things by falling in love and getting married?”
With grim determination, she slid over to the door and held on to the door handle. Pulling her body up, Colleen cracked the door and peered out. She was cautious because she was not sure if Terence would be waiting for her outside the door. But he was nowhere to be found. “Thank you, Lord.”
In a frenzy, Colleen began throwing clothes
into her suitcase. That they were costly designer garb was inconsequential. She had to get out of there. When she was done with her haphazard packing, Colleen ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. She had left her keys on the counter by the stove, but they were nowhere to be found. Frantic, she looked this way and that, hoping to spot the metal ring. Colleen felt panic rise within her, but she made herself calm down. She ran to pick up her purse and dug inside. “No!” Her wallet with all her money, credit cards, and bank cards were missing.
“Oh, God, no!” She put a fist in her mouth and sobbed.
“You’re not going anywhere, Colleen.”
Colleen turned around as soon as she heard his voice. Her husband walked over to her and grabbed her hair, before giving it a hard pull. He wrapped it around his fist like a corded robe. Colleen flinched with each hard tug, but she refused to cry out. She gritted her teeth. She would not let him see how much he was getting to her if it killed her.
“You’re my wife, and I love you, Colleen,” Terence said with calm determination.
He spoke with that eerie tone of voice again. That voice and the way that he sounded terrified her.
Suddenly, like a flash of lightning, her anger kicked in. No way was she going to let him do this to her. She wasn’t one of those women. She wasn’t going out like that.
Colleen hunched her shoulders and bunched her hands into a fist. Then summoning all the strength she possessed, she lifted her hand and punched Terence hard across the face.
“Awww!!” His head reeled back from the impact at a weird angle .
Colleen could see the shock fill his eyes, but she didn’t care. Terence could not believe she’d done that. Colleen backed away feeling apprehensive about Terence’s next move, but she wasn’t sorry for defending herself. If he comes at me, I am going to fight with all my might, she told herself. David had killed a bear with his hands, and she would fight Terence if she had to, Colleen vowed.
Terence advanced toward her and Colleen continued her cautious retreat, but she was resolved. I am going to hit him even harder and make him see stars!
She felt the imposing wall behind her.
Cornered like a rat in a trap.
Whew! She expelled a breath and gathered her wits. Terence had just backed her against a wall. He stood about a foot away.
Here goes nothing. David had five stones. She had her five fingers on each hand, which she bunched into fists.
“J,” she whispered. Colleen lifted her right fist and struck him hard.
“E.” She found her voice.
His body bent from the impact. She put all her body weight into her hands and hit him again.
“S!” this time she shouted.
His hands shielded his head. Terence pleaded, “Don’t . . . Please don’t.”
She raised her hand to swing it toward him again. He wasn’t fighting back, but she didn’t notice.
“U!” she screamed.
Terence’s body folded, and he cried out, “No!”
Colleen was far gone. Lord, give me strength.
“S!” she howled.
Terence shocked her speechless. His body curled on the floor. She gave him a few hearty kicks for good measure. “Take that you . . . You sorry excuse for a human being . . . you worthless piece of—”
“Don’t hit me! Please! I’ll be a good boy, I promise! Don’t hit me!”
Colleen’s mouth fell open as her mind registered Terence’s words. Her chest heaved from her heavy panting. She strove to catch her breath. She rubbed her hurting hands while eyeing the man prostrate on the floor. What just happened?
Terence remained huddled on the floor and wailed. “Don’t hit me. Don’t hit me,” he begged. “I’ll be a good boy. I promise.” Sobbing uncontrollably, Terence continued to beg her not to hit him, and he kept saying that he would be better.
Colleen was dumbstruck. She didn’t know what to think. Her heart started racing in concern. Terence’s behavior mirrored that of a young child—one who’d suffered significant trauma.
She slowly stooped down until she was on the floor with him. Like she would a child, Colleen lifted Terence onto her lap. She’d seen grown men cry, but never like this—not with such unabashed fear. Not knowing what else to do, Colleen hushed him like he was a baby.
“Don’t hurt me, please.” Terence held on to her as if his life depended on it. Colleen could only hug him while her mind struggled to come to terms with what was transpiring before her. Something was going on with her husband, and she intended to find out what it was. She would not rest until she had an answer.
Chapter Eighteen
Someone was at her door.
Gina opened the door in an obvious haste to end its constant peal. “Colleen!” she exclaimed in surprise and moved out of the way to let her enter.
She waited while Gina quickly scanned her friend from head to toe to make sure that she was all right.
“What’s the matter?” Gina asked with concern. She did not even attempt to disguise the worry in her voice. Colleen interpreted all the thoughts that were running through her friend’s head as a result of her overactive imagination.
“I’m fine, Gigi,” Colleen addressed her friend and hugged her reassuringly.
With the ease of a friend who knew her way around, Colleen sat on the love seat and patted on the seat, silently bidding Gina to sit by her. Gina quickly complied. Colleen could see that Gina’s heart was literally racing. It had been ages since Colleen had appeared at her house unannounced.
Colleen took a huge breath, not sure of where to begin. She’d come to Gina’s seeking refuge. She had wanted to voice exactly how she was feeling aloud to a sympathetic ear. But now, looking at her friend, Colleen was beginning to second-guess herself. Maybe coming there had not been a good idea. For the first time since her friendship with Gina, Colleen was reluctant to share this part of her life with her friend. She just didn’t feel as if Gina would be able to understand.
Marrying Terence had bound her to him, not just physically, but it seemed as if it were psychological as well. Colleen hadn’t been prepared for this emotion. It was new to her. She found that she had lost the words to fully confide in her friend. What happened between her and Terence was their business and God’s. It was really no one else’s. Not even her friend’s.
Colleen saddened at the thought, but she felt surprisingly comfortable with her decision. It was time to draw the line between her husband and her friend.
Holding her body erect, she smiled at Gina. Several minutes had passed, and she still had not yet offered a single word of explanation. Colleen could see that Gina was doing everything in her power to be patient. She knew that it was killing her to stay silent this entire time. Colleen reached over and gave her friend an even longer, tighter hug. Gina returned the embrace with a reassuring squeeze.
“I . . . I just came by to see you . . . to get out . . .” Colleen began in a low voice.
“Okay,” Gina responded.
Colleen could hear the uncertainty in her voice. For a split second, she felt the urge to appease her friend’s curiosity, but Colleen stood her ground. She was not going to bring her friend into the mix. Especially since she had a pretty good idea of how Gina would react.
“I’m okay,” Colleen said again. She released Gina from the hug. Then she put a smile on her face to convince her friend that she was indeed okay.
“Okay, I know you came here to tell me something, but looking at you, I can see that you’ve changed your mind. Whatever it was, I see you’re going to keep it to yourself. I know I can’t push you, but please just reassure me that I have nothing to worry about,” Gina pleaded with her friend.
Colleen looked Gina in the eye and smiled. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“You’re scared. Admit it.” Terence felt a bit apprehensive to go home and face his wife. He had no idea how Colleen would react to him. He also had no idea how he would react to her.
Honestly, he felt like a wu
ss . . . a big retard. Terence could not, for the life of him, explain how he had broken down in front of his wife in that manner last night. He could not believe that he’d started crying like a sissy and had begged her not to hit him. He was supposed to be the strong one—the man. How on earth could he have allowed himself to become so vulnerable toward someone else?
Terence had grappled with that question all day. It didn’t matter that it had been his wife with whom he had become vulnerable. The fact that he still remained vulnerable and men just did not do that sort of thing. And he’d confided something to Colleen that he had shoved in the inner recesses of his mind ages ago. He thought he had buried those memories so deep down that there would be no bringing them back. Yet, they had resurfaced and Colleen had seen him at his weakest point.
He’d cried until his nose was stuffy and his throat sore. He’d clung to Colleen like she was a life jacket. If he hadn’t been holding on to her, he felt like he would have sunk emotionally in a dire pit.
You have me. You can depend on me.
Recognizing God’s voice, Terence sat and whispered in an awed tone, “Lord, do you still love me?” He asked the question, filled with doubt and disbelief. How could God still love him when he was like one of the biggest hypocrites out there? He was holding the Bible with one hand, and punching his wife with another.
As far as the east is from the west, that’s how far I have removed your transgressions.
“God, would you do that for me?” Terence questioned aloud. Somehow, he just couldn’t grasp the whole “wipe the slate clean and start over” concept. He didn’t want to get off so easy. It just didn’t seem fair after the pain he’d caused his wife.
Yet, Colleen had stayed with him, and had hushed him. He recalled the tears in her eyes that brimmed with sincerity as she said, “I love you, Terence. I forgive you. Tell me what happened.”
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