by Ann Lister
“Photography,” Sydney said. She glanced toward the front door and at her car parked outside against the curb.
“I'll tell him you stopped by,” the clerk said.
“That's not necessary.”
Sydney grabbed the box of film and her sales receipt and swiftly walked toward the door. She returned to her car and handed Madeline the box. Her face was white with fear and her hands were still shaking.
“What the hell happened in there?” the nanny asked. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”
“There were photographs all over the wall,” Sydney said.
“It's a photography store, Syd. How unusual is it for photographs to be hanging on the wall?”
“Ben took the pictures…and the shots were all of me.”
The nanny started giggling. “Wow! What are the odds of that happening - one in a million?”
“I think he might own the store,” Sydney said.
The nanny laughed louder.
Sydney pulled her car out into traffic and headed north.
“I'm glad you see some humor in that because I sure don't.”
“I wouldn't say it's funny, Syd. I'd call it fate sneaking up on you when you least expected it. Maybe it's a sign telling you its time to tell Ben about Jenna?”
“You and Carol are driving me nuts with the constant talk about fate and the stupid signs. I will decide when or if it's time to tell Ben about Jenna - not you or Carol.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ben stepped up into his truck and drove toward town. It was the beginning of another summer season and tourists were already flocking to the beaches near his house. He found a place to park beside his store and went inside.
“Hey, Jillian. How's business?” Ben asked the girl at the cash register.
“Good. In fact, you had a fan come in a while ago. She bought some of that special order black and white film you always have on hand.”
“Was she a fan from my Reckless days?” he asked.
His eyes drifted to the wall of his photographs. They were all of Sydney in various stages of dress and undress, most she was unaware the shot had been taken. He had hundreds of them, but the ones that were too painful for him to look at on a daily basis, he kept displayed at the store.
His eyes settled onto his favorite snapshot from the store collection. It was a black and white image of Sydney laying naked in his bed with the early morning sunlight dancing across her skin. The subtle lines of her backside were completely exposed, as was one of her legs, all the way to her thigh. A sheet covered most of her bottom, except for the scrolling tattoo at the base of her spine. Her head was cradled in his pillow, her long hair was draped across part of her face and concealed her identity. Every time he looked at this particular photograph his chest tightened. Partly, because he could clearly remember sliding back into bed after taking the photograph and making love to her.
“This woman claimed to know your photography,” Jillian said.
“Really?” Ben asked. Slowly, stirring from his trance.
“She had a funny name, too - something like a tree,” Jillian said, and opened the cash register drawer to retrieve the credit card receipt.
“Sydney Willows,” Ben sighed almost melodically.
“How on earth did you guess that?”
Ben forced his eyes from his photographs and approached the counter.
“How long ago was she here?” he asked.
“Fifteen, twenty minutes.”
“Did she happen to say where she was headed?”
“Well, she said she needed the film to shoot a concert, but that's all she said. Trust me, this woman didn't have much to say at all. She acted like she couldn't get out of the store fast enough.”
Ben smiled at the sales clerk, then ran to his truck and drove north. The only arena close enough for Sydney to be working at was the civic center in Ocean City. The other venues were too far away. Thoughts in his head began to swirl as he sped along the road. What would he say if he was actually able to find Sydney? And why did he feel the need to see her at all?
He parked his truck near the back entrance of the civic center and walked toward the door. Several people recognized him, including security, but no one questioned his presence. He drifted down the hall, unsure where he should look for Sydney. As he rounded the corner, he bumped into Michael Wade, the ex-lead guitarist for the band, Thrust. Ben had known Michael for over a decade; although he hadn't physically seen him in several years.
“How the hell are you?” Michael asked Ben, and reached to shake his hand.
“I'm good, Mike,” he replied. He forced a smile onto his stained face. “Are you performing tonight?”
“Hell no,” Michael chuckled. “Those days have been over for a long time. Annie Logan is headlining tonight with her band. Annie's my wife. We've been married on and off for years.”
Ben shifted his weight and glanced down the hall.
“Are you looking for someone?” Michael asked.
“Sydney Willows,” he said. “She's a photographer.”
“The hot blonde? Yeah, she's in the back press room taking pictures of my wife's band. I'm on my way there now. I'll take you.”
Ben fell into step beside Michael. His stomach began to knot at the thought of seeing Sydney again. Three and a half years was a long time. Maybe she wouldn't be happy to see him? Maybe she'd slap his face and walk away? His heart ached at the thought.
“Speaking of retiring, Ben. I heard you completely left the business yourself,” Michael said.
“Yes, I quit about three years ago.”
“Rumor has it you quit over a girl you and your brother were fighting over. Any truth to that?”
“Not quite,” Ben said.
Michael laughed. “Yeah, there's always two sides to every story. Don't I know all about that!”
Michael stopped outside the press room and looked at Ben. “Listen, I've got to warn you. The room Syd is working in is an absolute zoo, with all the kids running around. I've got my three here tonight and Syd brought hers along, so we've got a full house.”
“Kid?” Ben asked. The air crystallized in his lungs.
“Yeah, Annie and I have three kids now,” Michael said. “My older boy still lives with his mother. I never thought I'd be changing diapers at my age, but here I am, and I'm loving every minute of it.”
“Sydney has a kid?” Ben asked.
“She's got a little girl, about three years old, I'd guess.”
Ben swayed on his feet, visibly moved by Michael's news.
Michael stepped into the crowded press room. “Are you sure you're okay, Ben?”
Ben nodded, unable to form a word in his mouth.
“I think Syd is set up over there,” Michael said, and pointed to his left.
Just then, three little girls came rushing into the room nearly twisting Ben off his feet. Michael started laughing.
“See? What'd I tell you?” Michael said. “The older two are my little bandits and the younger girl is Syd's.”
Ben watched the young blond girl as she ran across the room and directly into her mother's leg. His eyes lifted from the child to the woman. He didn't need to see her face to know it was Sydney. He'd know her backside anywhere. He knew every square inch of her body better than his own.
She was dressed in a tight-fitting black linen vest without a shirt beneath it and faded blue jeans that fit her like a second skin. Her long hair was laying over one shoulder, exposing her neck to him. His heart ached at the sight of her.
Sydney was looking down at her camera making adjustments to the settings, when Jenna crashed into her leg.
“Jenna, where's Madeline?” Sydney asked, and bent down, coming face to face with her daughter. “You need to find Maddy and stay with her so I can finish working.”
“But, Momma!”
A woman pushed past Ben and raced toward the young girl. “I'm sorry, Sydney. She darted away from me again. I'll take her back to the other ro
om,” the nanny said.
Ben stood at the doorway of the room watching Sydney interacting with her daughter - his daughter. He was unable to move forward and felt like he might fall over if he attempted to leave.
He gazed at Sydney across the room. She was still breathlessly beautiful, but it was like looking at a stranger. He could not fathom the same woman he had fallen so deeply in love with could possibly be so vengeful to deny him knowledge of his own child. He shook his head and closed his eyes. He could feel his insides breaking apart, tiny, sharp pieces of himself crashing around his feet.
Sydney kissed Jenna on the cheek and watched the nanny lead Jenna by the hand toward the door. And then she saw him; the color fading from his face before her eyes. It was Ben - her Ben, and the look on his face told her he knew everything.
Sydney stared at Ben for a moment, almost disbelieving he was really there. He looked the same, like the nearly four years hadn't passed between them. His hair was the same length, his face still had the same neatly trimmed, dark goatee framing his sensuous mouth. And the amazing green eyes she remembered making her feel faint when the force of them hit her, now were filled with a cold, angry mask that she didn't recognize.
She took two steps toward him and watched him back away and her heart shattered. Her worst fear was becoming a reality right before her eyes and there was no one to blame, except herself. He turned away from her and stepped into the hallway.
Sydney called after him.
He stopped and waited until she was beside him, but didn't make eye contact with her. He wasn't strong enough to do it.
“How could you keep her from me?” he asked quietly.
“Ben…I…”
His head suddenly snapped to face her. “She is mine, isn't she?”
Sydney grabbed his arm and pulled him into a nearby room and shut the door behind them. “Yes, she's yours…ours. Her name is Jenna and she's three years old.”
Ben closed his eyes. Emotion began to boil beneath the lids.
“How could you? And you let Carol lie to my face! Do you have any idea how that news affected me? I grieved over our child for a long time. I felt like the biggest asshole on earth because I thought I might have done something to cause you to miscarry.”
“Three years…three fucking years,” he kept repeating. “And you never called! The whole time I was mourning, my child has been happily celebrating birthdays!”
“I'm so sorry, Ben,” she said, and lightly touched his arm.
He pulled away sharply and reached for the door knob.
“Who the hell do you think you are? What gave you the right to deny me access to my child?” His eyes fell to hers, as he turned the doorknob in his hand. “How could you be such a cold-hearted bitch?” he asked shaking his head. “You're not the same woman I knew and whatever you think I did to wrong you - it doesn't come close to justifying this as a punishment!”
“Please…” Sydney cried.
Ben tugged the door open and stepped into the hall. “Too little too late, sweetheart,” he said over his shoulder, and left the building.
Sydney went back to the press room, found Jenna and scooped her into her arms and settled the little girl onto her hip. A heartbeat later, Michael Wade was beside her.
“What's going on with Ben?” he asked.
“Why are you asking?”
“Because I saw him leaving and he looked pretty pissed off.”
“He was running late for an appointment,” she said.
Michael slid his index finger beneath Jenna's chin and gently tipped her tiny face up toward him. “How do you know Ben?” he asked.
“I was their tour photographer three or four years ago.”
“Three or four years you say?” he said, his eyes drifting back to Jenna.
Sydney set her daughter back on the floor and watched her dart off to join the other children.
Michael waited until Sydney looked at him and smiled.
“Jenna has her father's eyes,” he said.
The color drained from Sydney's face. She ignored his comment and bent over her camera bag, randomly selecting a lens and a soft cloth to clean it.
Michael watched her for a moment, then started walking away.
“I almost forgot, Syd,” he said. “You have another visitor waiting in the equipment room.”
“Who would that be?” Sydney asked.
“Billy Iris. He says you two are old friends.”
Sydney had her camera equipment packed in record time and was almost to her car with the first load when the baritone voice hit her.
“That's awfully rude of you to run away from an old friend before saying hello.”
Sydney spun to face him. “We were never friends,” she said.
Billy continued walking toward her. His smile growing wider with each step.
“What would you like to call it, Sydney?” he asked. “After all, we were lovers - or so you say.”
“What you did to me had nothing to do with love,” she said, and continued to her car.
Billy reached her moments later and stood behind her as she unlocked the trunk.
“We have unfinished business,” he said.
She could feel his breath on the side of her face. She turned around and shoved him on the chest.
“Apparently, you don't remember what happened the last time we met in a parking lot,” she said.
“You got in a few cheap shots at my expense,” he grinned. “But I can assure you, that won't happen a second time.”
Movement at the back door of the civic center caught Sydney's eye. The nanny was there with Jenna bouncing on her hip. Panic flooded her.
“Maddy, please take Jenna back inside and wait for me,” Sydney said.
Those few seconds of Sydney's distracted attention was all Billy needed. His hand lashed out and circled her throat, his body thrust her against the side of the car.
“It would be a shame for something to happen to that little girl of yours,” he said through clenched teeth.
Billy's threat ignited a rage inside her that rattled her bones and kicked in her self-defense training. She levered her arms beneath his and broke his hold. Her arms and legs then sliced through the air making contact with various pressure points on Billy's body. Moments later he was on the pavement with Sydney's foot pressed to his throat. A security guard was now running across the lot toward Sydney.
“You lay one finger on her, and I swear to God, I'll kill you.”
Billy pushed her foot off his throat and stood up. A smile twisted his face.
“Empty threats from bitches like you don't scare me,” he said. “Sooner or later our paths will cross again and next time I'll be sure there are no witnesses.”
A hand with bony fingers latched onto her right breast and squeezed to cause pain. Sydney swatted his hand away like it was nothing more than an annoying insect. The action made Billy laugh.
“Till we meet again, sweetheart,” he said.
She watched him walk between the lines of parked cars until he was out of sight. The security guard came to her side.
“Do you need assistance?”
Sydney shook her head and ran back toward the convention center.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sydney boarded the plane to New York City with Jenna and the nanny. She was still shaking from her encounters with Billy and Ben. She gave her daughter the window seat and sat beside her with the nanny occupying the aisle seat.
“You need to press assault charges,” the nanny said.
“His lawyers would dance around that and make me look like the villain.”
“Billy's not going to stop coming after you until something is done.”
Their eyes met and the nanny gripped Sydney's forearm. “I mean in the legal sense, Syd, not something stupid that will get you into trouble.”
“I'd like to kill him,” Sydney said.
“I think a restraining order is a better alternative.”
“But not near
ly as effective,” Sydney smiled.
“Do you think Ben saw Billy?”
“If they had seen each other, I think Billy would have said something.”
Hearing Ben's name made Sydney push the ugly thoughts of Billy from her brain. She turned to Jenna and watched the little girl creating colorful patterns with crayons on a blank sheet of paper. Tears bit at her eyes. She had to do something to try and make it right between the three of them. Jenna needed a father and Ben deserved to know his daughter.
Five days later, she was back in Maryland to see Ben. She settled Jenna and the nanny into the hotel on main street, then drove herself to Ben's house. Beside her on the car seat were three thick photo albums and a paper bag filled with home movies.
She had no idea what she'd find when she got to Ben's house and no clue what she could say to apologize. His anger was justified and expected, but it was the contempt she saw in his eyes at the Civic Center that killed her. The closer she got to Ben's house, the bigger the knot grew in her stomach.
Sydney found his driveway and parked the car. The garage door was open and revealed two vehicles parked inside. The thought suddenly occurred to her that he might not be alone. It's not like the topic of him being married or living with someone had come up during their brief and heated conversation, so how would she know? Sydney swallowed hard, upset with herself for allowing the thought to enter her brain, then cursed herself for caring.
She wasn't there to see Ben in the hopes of rekindling the relationship she once had with him. She was there to establish a new one between him and his daughter. She owed him at least that much, maybe more, but that's all she had to give him.
She grabbed the books and the paper bag from the seat and proceeded around the side of the house and onto the deck overlooking the expansive ocean. She noticed the glass sliding door into the house was open and she momentarily thought about stepping inside to leave the books, then something on the beach caught her eye. She set the books on top of the glass deck table and moved to the railing.
Ben was on the beach below standing at the waters edge, wearing nothing more than a pair of jogging pants hanging low on his hips. His skin tanned dark from the sun. His hair was being tossed around his head with each new wind gust. She watched him for a few moments, as he repeatedly pitched rocks into the water using a force that told Sydney he was still very angry. She studied his form and the way his muscles tightened beneath his skin each time he threw another stone. His movements were mesmerizing to watch, but Sydney knew she had to go down to the beach and talk to him. She approached him slowly, finally stopping beside him in the sand.