by Ariel Tachna
Rynes frowned, but nodded, hoping the king would accept that as his agreement. He did follow Rhicer that day, down a path into the woods he had never trod before, discovering the ruins that had been a haven for his friends. That much was obvious from the blankets spread upon the leaf-covered ground. To his relief, the lovers were still clothed when he entered the clearing, though any who came upon them thus would have no doubt about the nature of their assignation. Arms encircled each other, Kanath's hands cupping Rhicer's arse, Rhicer's hand between them, obviously stroking Kanath's groin. He watched them for a moment, struck by the beauty of their entwined forms, by the way they seemed to fit together perfectly. It went against everything he had ever been taught, but the love and passion between them was so patently obvious that he could not help but feel it was right. It made his own random encounters with the court women seem suddenly empty. He cleared his throat to get their attention, but the sound did not penetrate the lusty haze that surrounded them.
“Rhicer! Kanath!” he called sharply, not wanting them to progress further down the path they seemed intent on following with him standing right there. When he had walked in on them before, the bedclothes had at least hidden all but the fact that they were making love. Nothing would be hidden from him if they continued as they were.
They looked up upon hearing their names, but they did not move apart, though their hands stilled so that they were simply holding each other instead of actively arousing. “What are you doing here?” Rhicer asked slowly.
“Spying on you,” Rynes replied bitterly.
“What?” Kanath demanded, pulling away from Rhicer as if to come after Rynes.
Rynes held his hands up in appeasement. “The king ordered me to follow Rhicer and find out where he's been going when he suddenly disappears from the keep. Be glad ’twas me he approached and not someone else, because no one finding you as I just did would have any doubt what you were about to do.”
Both men scowled at his announcement, but Kanath was the one who spoke. “Why is he fixated on Rhicer?”
“Concern for a friend,” Rynes insisted. “He sees his friend and very reliable captain suddenly acting very differently than he always has before, slipping away with no explanation, disappearing for hours on end, avoiding him even when he is around. What is he supposed to think? Until a few months ago, the king was as much Rhicer's confidant as I was. And now he is not.”
“You wouldn't be either if you hadn't barged in on us,” Rhicer pointed out, with a low chuckle.
“Be glad I did,” Rynes contradicted. “Otherwise, you'd be in trouble right now.”
“We're still in trouble right now, aren't we?” Kanath asked.
Rynes shrugged. “Maybe. We have to invent a plausible excuse, one that will keep Emyl from having Rhicer followed again and from insisting on a wedding, or else yes, you're in trouble. I won't be able to stall him for long when I get back. He'll have noticed Rhicer's disappearance and want an explanation. Fortunately, he has not seemed to realize yet that you go missing every time Rhicer does. Otherwise, your lives would be even more complicated.”
Frustration crossed Rhicer's face as he sank to the blankets, pulling Kanath with him. He seemed surprised, Rynes noticed, when Kanath sat next to him. Clearly, that was not Kanath's usual seat, another little sign of how ingrained the intimacy between them had become. “Sit down, Rynes,” he said, gesturing to the opposite end of the blanket.
Rynes took the offered seat, not sure what Rhicer wanted, but he had the feeling it would not be a short conversation. He waited in patient silence for his friend to begin. He could not have said what he expected at that point—perhaps a discussion of what story to give to Emyl—but he had certainly not expected the defeat on Rhicer's face as he buried his head in his hands.
“I don't know what to do anymore,” Rhicer muttered, his distress obvious in every line of his bent shoulders, in the way his voice cracked as he spoke. Rynes started to reply, to assure his friend that they would find a way, but he never had the chance to speak. Kanath's arms went around Rhicer immediately, pulling him into a comforting embrace that had nothing to do with the passion Rynes had glimpsed earlier.
“Don't say that,” the younger man insisted. “You can't give up on us. If you stop believing in our love, then everything is lost.”
Feeling far more like a voyeur than when he had found them in bed together, Rynes watched in silence as Kanath slid tender fingers beneath Rhicer's chin, tipping his head up so their eyes met. His heart cried out in protest at the thought of anything threatening this bond. He might not understand it, might never understand it, but he had gone beyond questioning it. If anything, he found himself envying it.
“There has to be a way,” Kanath said softly, his voice husky with emotion as he tried to pass his conviction on to his lover. “We just have to keep looking until we find it.”
“Lies, Kanath,” Rhicer responded. “Every explanation we could give would be a lie. How long can we do that, before it starts eating at us, before we start resenting each other for having to tell lies? Already, I hate the fact that we cannot be together except in these stolen moments. We will never know the joy of falling asleep in each other's arms, of waking up together in the morning. We will never be able to dance with each other at weddings, never be able to hold each other at funerals. We will be denied every aspect of a normal life. I love you, more than anything, and it makes me so angry that we cannot have the life we deserve.”
Rynes had not known what was going to come out of his mouth until he had spoken the words, but the moment they left his mouth, he knew they were right. “So go somewhere else, somewhere you can have that life.”
“Where?” Rhicer queried. “Where would we have any chance of being accepted for who we are? Even here, where we are known, we would be outcast the moment the truth came to light. How can we expect to be accepted as strangers somewhere else?”
“You say you love Kanath more than anything else,” Rynes reminded him. “If that is true, what need have you for a society, any society, that would refuse you the right to love each other? Find some place remote enough where there will be none to question you and you can celebrate your love the way it deserves.”
“Do you truly believe that?” Kanath asked curiously. “That our love deserves to be celebrated?”
Rynes considered the question, for a few scant weeks ago, he would have condemned them along with everyone else. The time he had spent with each man individually and the two occasions he had seen them together privately had changed that opinion drastically. They belonged together. “Yes, I believe it,” he replied. “I also know that not everyone will be as willing to see what I see between you. They will see only two men rather than the obvious, amazing depth of your feelings for each other. It's not a chance you can afford to take.”
“But leaving?” Rhicer challenged. “Abandoning everything we have ever known and striking out on our own? That, too, is taking quite a chance.”
“It is,” Rynes agreed, “but I do not see how you will keep this a secret for long here at court. Already, your king is asking questions you cannot answer. For the moment, he is only asking me those questions, and I will protect your secret as long as I can, but a time may well come when he begins to speak to others besides me, others who will not have my sensitivity. And when that happens, then you will be lucky if you are simply forced to leave. At least this way, you have time to think, to plan, to gather what you need, and to leave on your own terms instead of being cast out with nothing but the clothes on your backs. I do not want you to go. I will miss you terribly, but I don't see, in the long run, what other choice you have.”
“You make some valid points,” Kanath admitted slowly, “but where would we go? ’Tis summer now, but already the days grow shorter. We would need shelter, more than just our tent from the war, and supplies, if we have any hope of surviving the winter. We can hunt for meat, but that does not supply us with vegetables and the like.”
“I don't hav
e all the answers,” Rynes said regretfully, “but I'll repeat what I said before. Better to do this of your own accord and have time to plan for these problems than to find yourselves thrust into the situation with nothing.”
“We have gold,” Rhicer reminded Kanath. “We have been well paid for our service over the years and I have used little of it. We can use that to buy supplies if we find a place near enough to a town that we could travel there on occasion. And next summer, we could farm a piece of land ourselves. It has been years, but I do remember some of what I learned as a child, enough to keep us in beans and carrots anyway.”
“So you think we should do this?” the younger man asked.
“I don't want to,” Rhicer admitted, “but Rynes is right. It's do it now, on our terms, or later, on others'.”
The look of desolation on his friends' faces at the thought of leaving had torn at Rynes' heart and he had cursed himself silently for making the suggestion, but he did not know what else he could have told them.
They spent the next month making plans. On the pretense of checking on the activities of raiders and bandits, Kanath had ridden out for a weeklong patrol, using the time to search for a place he and Rhicer could call home. During that time, Rhicer began collecting everything he thought they would need to make it on their own. They had much already, from their soldiers' kits: pots and pans, blankets and bedding. They would not be able to take anything large, furniture and the like, because they had no way of transporting it. They would have to slip away if they expected to make good their escape, which meant taking only what they could carry in their saddlebags.
Kanath returned at the end of the week with good news for Lord Emyl and good news for Rhicer. He had seen no sign of the raiders and bandits that had often plagued the outlying areas and he had found an abandoned hut, only one tiny room, but solid and snug. It would get them through the winter, at least, and they could add to it later if they needed more space. He had been careful not to give any detail about the surrounding area when Rynes was nearby, not wanting to put him in the position of having to lie later about where they had gone. He would know they had gone, but not where. It had no furniture, but they could use their bedrolls until they had time to fashion a bed, could sit on the floor until they could make table and chairs. It would be a simple life, but it would allow them to be together. Rynes had seen the longing in their eyes as they talked, imagining a life that would no longer require such secrecy.
They did not leave immediately, savoring what little time they had left with the friends they would be leaving behind. The king had not given up on his idea of Rhicer marrying, however, continuing to bring up the subject each time he found Rhicer alone. Rhicer's irritation had grown, and Kanath's with it. The breaking point had come, though, the day Nische cornered Kanath and dropped hints to him about likely ladies. It seemed the court was no longer a safe place for any bachelor, much less two who wanted nothing but to be together.
And so, preparations complete, Rynes had sent them on their way, hand raised in silent farewell as they rode out of sight. Their disappearance had been noticed immediately, of course. Their rooms were empty of everything personal, their horses gone. The king had been dumbstruck, demanding answers left and right, of how and why they had chosen to leave. Rynes had bided his time, wanting to give his friends a chance to get far enough away that pursuit would be pointless, but eventually he cornered the king and told him part of the truth. “You would not leave Rhicer alone, would not let him live his life as he chose,” Rynes had declared angrily. “You tried repeatedly to make him marry a woman he does not love when he obviously had no desire to marry at all. You set me to spy on him like a common criminal, which he found out, being the intelligent, observant man he is. And if that were not enough, your lady started in on Kanath. They no longer felt welcome here, and you have no one but yourself to blame. Why could you not just leave them in peace?”
“But to leave?” the monarch had questioned. “Why did they not simply tell me to mind my own business? Kanath, I can understand, but Rhicer and I have been friends since the war began. Surely he knew that I would not force him.”
“He knew no such thing,” Rynes retorted. “He told you he did not want to marry, told you he was happy as he was, but you did not believe him. Maybe he was secretive about some things, but that was his choice, and you made it so that he felt unable to come to you anyway. It doesn't matter now. They're gone.”
The king had not been happy with Rynes' answers, but he had no choice but to accept them. By that time, there was no trail left for even the best tracker to follow.
Stroking Taen's feathers again, Rynes carried her toward the mews, the rosebud still in his hand.
“Is that Kanath's falcon?”
The king's voice broke into Rynes' thoughts and he looked up. There was no point in denying it since Emyl himself had presented Kanath with the bird years ago.
“It is,” he confirmed.
“Did she bring news?” Lord Emyl asked eagerly.
“Only that they are safe,” Rynes replied, “but that is all I expected to hear from them.”
“They aren't coming back, are they?” the king asked sadly, the loss finally settling in.
“No, they're not,” Rynes agreed. “There's no place here for them.” He paused for a moment, wondering how much it was safe to say now that he knew his friends were settled.
“No place for them in their home?” Emyl asked sharply.
“No,” Rynes insisted. “You made sure of that, with your insistence that they marry. And if you are not careful, you will drive others away as well. Your heart is in the right place, but your meddling has gone too far. Are you really so blind that you couldn’t see what was right in front of you?”
He would have said more, would almost certainly have told the king exactly what he thought of the sovereign's actions in driving away his best friends, but the clattering of hooves drew their attention, saving Rynes from what would certainly have been a mistake. He took a deep breath and resolved to accept the decision that Rhicer and Kanath had made. He had known it was the right one when he sent them on their way. Perhaps the day would come when he could make Emyl understand, could convince him not to condemn them for their choice, but that would have to wait until later. Lifting his eyes, he turned to greet whomever had arrived.
He did not know the knight who swung from his horse, calling a greeting and asking if there was a roof to be found for a wandering swordsman looking for work, but he felt an immediate kinship with the dark-haired man. He could not put his finger on any particular trait, any gesture or expression that caught his attention, but he felt an incredible pull, an affinity he had not felt for anyone except his two closest friends, now gone. His gaze traveled the length of the man, head to toe and back again, until their eyes locked. Intelligence and a powerful self-awareness stared back at him from the hazel depths. He realized with momentary surprise that he should not have been able to make out the color with the distance between them, but he knew beyond doubt that the newcomer, Cerelt as he introduced himself to the king, had hazel eyes, that realization only increasing the inexplicable conviction that this man would come to mean far more to him than a simple comrade-in-arms. Rynes held back, letting the king make that decision as was his right. That was not what kept him silent, though. His silence had a much more profound cause. His eyes fell to the rosebud in his hand, which had come to represent so much to his two friends. Looking back up, he studied the coat of arms on the new arrival's shield, his breath catching in his throat as he took in the full implication of his thoughts. He had not been mistaken.
The rose in his hand had its echo on the other man's insignia.
Silence greeted the end of the tale, the audience so entranced by the story that they did not even react to its conclusion for several long seconds. Around the court, many of the ladies wept openly for the star-crossed lovers, and even a few of the gentlemen wiped surreptitiously at their eyes.
In
the back of the room, near the fireplace, two old men sat side by side, small smiles on their faces as their gazes met. “’Tis not exactly the way I remember it happening,” the older one commented, his hand stretching out to close around the other man’s gnarled fingers.
“Perhaps not,” the younger one agreed, “but it makes a fine tale nonetheless.” They fell silent again, their eyes drifting to an old shield, one among many decorating the walls of the keep, its rose insignia faded almost beyond recognition with the passing of time.
Ariel Tachna lives in southwestern Ohio with her husband, her daughter and son, and their cat. A native of the region, she has nonetheless lived all over the world, having fallen in love with both France, where she found her career and her husband, and India, where she dreams of retiring some day. She started writing when she was twelve and hasn’t looked back since. A connoisseur of wine and horses, she’s as comfortable on a farm as she is in the big cities of the world.
Visit Ariel’s website at http://www.arieltachna.com/.
Follow Ariel’s blog at http://arieltachna.livejournal.com/.
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A Rose Among the Ruins ©Copyright Ariel Tachna, 2009
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