by Don Miller
“It has indeed, Mrs. Gardiner. I have not been back since well before I went to Scotland and I do not know what new books you might have received I might like. I think I need to browse your new editions shelf. And, as usual, my sister wants more music.”
“Good. Why do not you browse the books, take a few of them into our tea lounge, and look through them over a cup of tea or coffee, or even a glass of wine. I will be happy to help Miss Darcy in the music room.”
“Thank you. I think I will. And take as much time as you want Georgiana.”
As Darcy walked over to the bookshelf he had browsed many times over the years, he saw Mrs. Gardiner say something to one of the clerks behind the counter, and then lead his sister to the other side of the bookstore. He spent about 10 minutes looking at the newly arrived books, chose three to peruse, and headed toward the archway that led from the bookstore to the tea lounge. He intended to go to his usual spot at the back of the lounge where he would sit while he was looking at books. He would ask if Elizabeth was there when the waitress came to get his order.
As he entered the lounge and walked toward his usual couch, to his surprise, he saw Elizabeth sitting on the couch with a tea cup in her hand, looking at him with a smile on her face. He, of course, immediately went over to her.
“May I join you Miss Elizabeth?”
“I hope so, Mr. Darcy. I would hate for this perfectly good cup of Jamaican coffee sitting on the table in front of me go to waste. I was assured by Florence it was what you would order when you came in. Nothing but the best for Mr. Darcy.”
“Yes, Florence well knows my addiction for that coffee since your uncle started importing it.” He sat beside her and grinned at her. “But are you not concerned we will be seen together and a rumor will be started?”
“I believe a chance meeting in a public place like this is acceptable to the ton. I doubt anything untoward could happen. Besides, we are rather hidden here in the corner, which, I assume is why you usually sit over here. Florence assured me if I sat here, you would see me.”
“I am sure you know we came here to see you and I appreciate you are willing to sit and talk with me.”
“I must confess I thought you and I needed to have a conversation, so I was glad you took the initiative to come here, although I have a suspicion it was Georgiana’s idea rather than yours.”
“You are right, of course, but only because I did not know you helped your aunt on Mondays. But you said you thought we needed to have a conversation. About what, may I ask?”
“As my father would say, the elephant in the room.”
He looked at her with a quizzical look on his face. “The elephant in the room?”
“Yes, that is an expression of my father’s, stating there is a very obvious issue that needs to be discussed, but those needing to discuss it have been avoiding it.”
“And what is our big issue?”
“Us, of course.”
He gave her a big smile. “Us. I thought there was no us. There are you and me, and I think you have made it clear to me on several occasions that the two of us will never be pair.”
She looked in his eyes a moment and sighed. “I know I have. For one reason or another I have been very reluctant to consider such a possibility. However, it has been pointed out to me that fate seems to be throwing us together more than usual, which makes me appreciate, when I look back, that to some extent we have been linked together for months, whether we wanted to be or not. After the assembly, I vowed to avoid you, and I believed you wanted to avoid me, yet events seemed to conspire so we could not avoid each other. I have spent more time in your company since the assembly than any other man I know other than my uncle and father.”
“I am sorry it has upset you so much, but I cannot say I wish it had not happened.”
“But has your acquaintance with me not thoroughly upset your life? As I have come to know you better, I have come to realize you deserve better--more than you have been getting, and I feel badly. I do not know what to do about it.”
“I have already proposed a solution, if you will forgive the pun.”
She shook her head and smiled. “I will admit this, you are resolute. Have you even considered what I told you about our incompatibility?”
“I have. In fact Georgiana and I were talking about it this morning and I told her our incompatibility, or perhaps I should say differences, in many aspects of our personalities are what make us so compatible. We are like pieces of a puzzle. We look very different, but when fitted together, we would make a perfect picture. We will make each other better. I do not think I could stand to live with someone who was just like me. And we are very alike in many important ways, which I believe you know.”
She was quiet for a long while, looking at him. Neither of them saw Mrs. Gardiner and Georgiana start to enter the room, see them in what was obviously serious conversation, turn around and go back into the bookstore. “It seems your ploy worked very nicely, Miss Darcy. I think they are having that conversation they need to have and we will leave them to it as long as they like.”
“This is very hard for me, Will. I did not realize until recently how my parent’s unhappy marriage, which I have observed most of the days of my life, has made me so fearful of making a mistake. I have told others I know you are the best of men and I do have affection for you, but taking the step to accept I could fall in love with you and we would have a good marriage is very hard for me. I believe it was that worry in the back of my mind which caused me to refuse your offer in Hunsford Cottage in such an inexcusable manner. You are far from being the last man in the world I would ever marry. As I thought about it, I realized if it had not been for the Jane and Bingley affair and my acceptance of Wickham’s lies, I probably would have found some other excuse to refuse you, because I was so surprised by your offer and just not ready for it. I am amazed you are still interested in me.”
“Elizabeth, I will admit, for days, even weeks after your refusal I tried to convince myself you had been right in what you told Richard—we are not compatible and I should give you up. But it was no use. I am afraid I will not give up on you until I see you walk down the aisle with another man.”
Elizabeth took a sip of her tea, which by then, had turned cold. She then looked at Darcy’s cup and realized it had not been touched. To give her time to think, she looked around for Florence; saw her looking at them from across the room; and waved her over. “We seem to have ignored our drinks, Florence. Will you bring us fresh cups, please?”
Then she turned back to Darcy. “Will, I worry about how a marriage between us would be managed. I am afraid I have too independent a spirit for you. You have been so accustomed to being the final decision maker in all things in your family, I fear you may find you disapprove of someone like me who, if given responsibility for the household or garden or whatever, wants to have the authority to make decisions without having to worry you might countermand them. And in decisions immediately affecting both of us, I want to be a partner in the decision making--not just the compliant wife who must be willing to do whatever it is you decide should be done. In most of the households I know, that is the way it is and I could not live with that. Also, do you want many children or just enough to get an heir? There are so many unanswered questions and I fear that once we start thinking of them, you will find we are more different than you think. I want more than just love and marriage. I want a partnership with my husband.”
“Elizabeth, I must admit I have not been thinking of those questions. I have been more concerned about just getting you to recognize I am a man you could love. It encourages me you have been thinking about them, because it implies to me you are seriously considering what marriage with me would be like. All I can say is that what you have said to this point defines exactly the kind of life partner I want. I do not want to be a dictator. I want to be a partner. I am tired of being alone and having to make all of the decisions, particularly those related to the household and social events
and how to deal with my sister. As far as children, that is one of those decisions I believe we make as we go along. I would like a male heir, but not at the expense of your life. My estate is not entailed and never will be. As my wife, you would be the mistress of the household and I will gladly give up all responsibility for the house and staff. I am overwhelmed with my responsibilities and need you to help me. I am happy you have helped your father manage the estate and deal with the tenants, because I want you to know all about such things in case something happens to me. Everything you say just adds to my desire to have you as my wife, but I can understand if you need time to answer all your questions and we could do that by having as long an engagement as you want. We could also just have a courtship, but in my mind I have been courting you for months.”
Elizabeth looked Darcy in the eyes for a long time without saying anything, as if trying to look into his soul. She suddenly understood herself better. She knew that deep within herself, she had always hoped they would marry—that she would find he was the wonderful man she had wanted him to be. And she had. He was the most wonderful man she knew and she loved him and had loved him for a long time. He had been right. Their partnership had been inevitable and she had, as he had hoped, finally recognized that fact. “Will, I think we should finish this conversation in a less public place. Would you be willing to call on me this afternoon at four o’clock at Gracechurch Street?”
“You know I will—particularly because you have been calling me Will since we started this conversation and have not objected to me calling you Elizabeth. May I ask now if I may escort you to Lord and Lady Willingham’s ball tonight?”
She laughed. “You are being devious. If I tell you that, it will give away what I hope the result of our conversation this afternoon will be.” She then smiled at him and put her hand on his arm. “If I was coy, I would make you wait to know the answer to that question. But I suppose you deserve to know. Yes, I will let you escort me.”
As she said that, Florence arrived with their drinks and Elizabeth asked her to inform her aunt and Miss Darcy that she and Mr. Darcy would like them to join them for tea. When Mrs. Gardiner and Georgiana came to them, the first thing they saw was the big smile on Darcy’s face and that Elizabeth’s face seemed to be glowing more than usual.
“You seem happy, Mr. Darcy. May I assume you have had a pleasant conversation with my niece?”
“You may, indeed. It was a most pleasing conversation--one of those one tends to remember for a very long time.”
“Aunt, I hope you do not mind, but I have invited Mr. Darcy to our house for tea at four o’clock and I assume Georgiana will also be coming. Is that acceptable to you?”
With Mrs. Gardiner’s approval of Elizabeth’s invitation, the conversation turned to the music Georgiana had selected, the books Darcy had chosen but which he had not yet had a chance to peruse, and the ball at the Willingham mansion that evening. When Elizabeth mentioned that she would be going with Darcy to the ball, Mrs. Gardiner and Georgiana looked at each other and smiled, both being sure what was going to transpire at tea that afternoon.
Chapter 17: Tea at the Gardiner’s
As Darcy and Georgiana were eating lunch after their visit to the bookstore, Georgiana, who had refrained from quizzing her brother about his conversation with Elizabeth, could keep silent no longer. ”Will, since you are apparently not going to offer to tell me about your conversation with Lizzie, I have to ask: are you going to propose to her this afternoon?”
“Why do you think that?”
“You know very well why I think that. She said that you were going to escort her to the ball tonight and she would only let you do that if you were courting or engaged. Besides, both of you looked so happy when Mrs. Gardiner and I came to you; it was obvious some kind of understanding had been reached between you two.”
“You are right, of course. But she has not told me which of the two it will be. To answer your question about whether I will propose to her this afternoon, yes I will. And she will tell me then what our status will be when we attend the ball. However, whichever it is, I am confident that within the year we will be married. I think she finally realizes, as I do, that what she feels for me is not just affection, but love and we are fated to be together.”
Georgiana was so pleased she had to get up and hug brother. “You cannot know how happy this makes me. I have been praying for a long time you would find a woman who could make you happy, and almost as soon as I met Lizzie, I could see she was the one. We need her and Pemberley needs her. Will you announce it at the ball tonight?”
“I will leave that up to Elizabeth. I would like to tell the entire world, but she may feel uncomfortable about it, so we will see. In any case, we will inform Uncle and Aunt Matlock and Alicia at the ball. The hard part is going to be writing the letter to Aunt Catherine, if we become engaged. She will be furious.”
“Anne will be happy for you. Why do not you write to her and have her tell Aunt Catherine? Maybe she can soften the blow.”
“I thought of that, but I do not want Aunt Catherine taking her anger out on Anne. In any case, I expect that within a day of her hearing about our engagement, we will get a visit from her. I am just sorry that Richard is not here, so I can tell him. He would love being here when Aunt Catherine shows up to lodge her vehement protests.”
Shortly before four o’clock, Darcy knocked on the door of the surprisingly elegant house on Gracechurch Street belonging to the Gardiners. He had not known what to expect, but was most impressed that a house of such quality existed in Cheapside. In fact, as they had ridden down the street, looking at the houses until they found the Gardiner’s, it was clear the entire block was filled with well kept, high quality homes of reasonably wealthy persons—presumably all of the merchant class.
The door was opened by a servant and Darcy and Georgiana were shown into a tastefully, but somewhat eclectically, decorated salon full of furniture that looked like it came from many parts of the world. Rising to greet them were Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth.
“Good evening, Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy,” said Mr. Gardiner. “It is good to see you again. I hope you had no trouble finding our house.”
“No, the directions were clear, and I must say I am impressed with your house and those of your neighbors. I have never been on this street in Cheapside before and I had no idea such an enclave of fine homes existed here.”
After greetings were expressed by the rest of the company, Mr. Gardiner said, “I have been told by my niece that before tea is served, you may need to have a private conversation. Is that true?”
“It is indeed, Mr. Gardiner. If you would be so kind as to allow it.”
Mr. Gardiner laughed. “I fear that I have no choice if there is to be peace in this house. Let me lead you to my study. I will, of course, leave the door ajar and hope the conversation will not be overly long.”
When they were finally alone in the study, Elizabeth went over to a couch near the windows and sat down, patting the space beside her. “Please have a seat, Will.”
Instead of sitting as she requested, he stood in front of her and held out his hand, inviting her to put her hand in his. When she did, he said, “Elizabeth, I would rather kneel in front of you. Would you allow that?”
She gave him one of those beautiful smiles that he loved so much. “Yes, you may, Will. Although I suppose that also gives away what I am thinking.”
As he knelt in front of her, he took a small box out of his pocket and opened it, displaying a beautiful emerald ring set among smaller rubies. “This is my Grandmother Darcy’s ring, which my father gave to me to give to the woman I loved and wanted to marry. Will you accept it and my hand in marriage, with the knowledge I love you deeply and want to be with you for the rest of my life?”
She spread her fingers and let him put it on her left hand, as she said, “You know I will. I have been in love with you for a long time, Will. I just did not want to admit it. I think when I first saw you at t
he assembly, I wished a man such as you could love me. I feel overwhelmed you do and am now just as anxious as you are to be married.”
She then leaned forward, offering herself for a kiss, which he was only too pleased to provide. It was intended to be just a short kiss, but the effect on both of them was overwhelming. Without removing his lips from hers, he stood up, lifting her up and she put her arms around his neck, reveling in her first kiss and feeling suddenly her world was complete. To Darcy, having her in his arms, her soft body against his, was a dream fulfilled and he hated to end the kiss, but finally he did.
She refused to let him go, lowering her arms from around his neck to around his body and holding on tightly, her face on his chest. He rejoiced in her ardor and kissed the top of her head.
“Will, if we had kissed like that at some time in the past, I would have been lost and could have denied you nothing. I am overwhelmed with love and a desire I did not know I had. I hope this will be a short engagement, although I fear my father may have objections—not to you but to a short engagement.”
“Elizabeth, I would marry you tomorrow if I could, but I can endure just about anything now I know you are going to be mine. Let us go to Longbourn tomorrow so I can speak to your father. I can stay at Netherfield until we return. And if we have to wait until you are 21 to be married, then so be it, although I would certainly be tempted to elope to Scotland.”
She leaned back, looked at him and reached up with her hand to touch his face. “It is still difficult for me to believe you chose me among all the women you could have had. I am not sure I deserve it, but I am happy you have somehow found me to be what you desire. I truly never believed I could be so fortunate. Why I could not see it earlier, I will never know, but I will work very hard to ensure we fit together like the puzzle you told me about.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “As will I. And now let us go tell the others. I am sure my sister, at least, is on pins and needles.”