by Janet Dailey
‘It was my idea for you not to know the real reason why Doctor Joe was seeing you,’ her father replied in a contrite tone. ‘Bay did contact him originally, but the rest was my idea so you wouldn’t have to go through the whole rigmarole again, maybe unnecessarily.’
‘That’s why you pretended,’ Sabrina said tautly, ‘that he was an old school chum of yours, isn’t that right, Bay?’
‘No, that’s the truth,’ the doctor replied, ‘and it’s also the truth that we bumped into each other in Los Angeles. He had no idea I was there since I’ve been on the East Coast for the last few years. He mentioned you to me and professional curiosity took over.’
‘I’m sorry, Sabrina,’ Bay offered quietly. ‘I knew you’d be upset when you found out.’
‘Then why did you try to trick me?’
‘I felt I should respect your father’s wishes. And there was the likelihood that you wouldn’t find out, not if Joe didn’t think there was any hope that your vision could be restored,’ he answered.
‘And do you?’ Her chin tipped proudly toward the doctor. The aura of pride was a defence mechanism to conceal any reaction to his verdict.
‘I’d like to run some more tests in a hospital before I give you a definite answer, Sabrina,’ he said honestly. ‘I would guess you have no more than a ten per cent chance, if that much, that there’s a surgical cure.’
‘Four specialists told my father and me that I would never see again. What makes you think you can help me?’ Sabrina challenged.
‘I don’t know that I can,’ Doctor Joe answered, ‘but I don’t know that I can’t either. On occasions, the body’s natural healing processes repair some of the damage, making a condition that was inoperable shortly after the injury operable a period of months later. It has happened.’
‘I see,’ she said tautly. ‘And that’s what you think has happened to me.’
‘I don’t know, but I don’t think we should overlook the possibility,’ he replied. ‘To be certain, I’d have to admit you to a hospital and run some tests. I don’t want to raise any false hopes, Sabrina. You have a very slim chance of having your vision restored, right next to none at all. The decision is yours.’
Not even the scent of roses that her father had brought could overcome the strong medicinal and antiseptic odor of the hospital. In the corridor, there were the hushed voices of a pair of nurses walking swiftly by her door. Sabrina listened to the even breathing of the female patient who shared her room.
Visiting hours were over. The lights were out. She knew that because she had heard the flick of the switch when the nurse left the room a few minutes ago.
Her dark world seemed blacker this night. She felt so very much alone and vulnerable. She was afraid to hope that the tests tomorrow would be encouraging. Yet it was impossible to be indifferent to the reasons she was here.
A hand doubled into a fist at her side. Damn Bay for running into his doctor friend, Sabrina thought dejectedly. She had accepted her blindness, stopped fighting the injustice of it and had started living with it.
Since Bay was partially responsible for her presence in the hospital, the least he could have done was come to visit her. But no, he had sent a message of good luck with Doctor Joe, passed on when Sabrina had been admitted.
A trembling shivered over her body and wouldn’t stop. She hadn’t realized she was so scared. Her chin quivered. She wanted to break down and cry. The brave front she had worn was crumbling and she didn’t care.
A swirl of air blew over her face. She had come to recognize that as the silent opening of the door to her hospital room. Someone was approaching her bed, and she had the sensation that it wasn’t the nurse. A spicy scent of aftershave lotion drifting to her nose confirmed it.
‘Are you awake?’ Bay asked softly.
‘Yes,’ Sabrina whispered, pushing herself into a more upright position while trying to keep the flimsy hospital gown securely around her. ‘Visiting hours are over. You’re not supposed to be here.’
‘If they catch me, they can ask me to leave, right?’ he smiled with his voice. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Fine,’ she lied. The edge of the bed took his weight. ‘I thought Doctor Joe said you had to go to a party or something.’
‘I did go,’ Bay acknowledged, ‘but I slipped away to see you. Is that all right?’
‘It’s all right with me as long as it was all right with the lady you were with,’ Sabrina returned.
‘What makes you think I was with anyone?’
‘I certainly hope you were, because otherwise you’re wearing some very expensive French perfume!’ Her fingers clutched the bedcovers tightly. It was important that she maintain this air of lighthearted teasing so Bay would not guess her inner apprehension.
‘Aha, the blind detective,’ he mocked.
‘Elementary,’ she shrugged. ‘After all, you were at a party. That makes it only logical to assume that you would turn your charm toward some attractive woman there.’
‘Now that’s where you’re wrong.’
‘Why?’ Sabrina tilted her head to the side in mock challenge.
‘Because I’ve been directing all my charms to a certain blind lady that I know, a very attractive one,’ Bay responded lightly.
Her throat constricted. ‘I find that difficult to believe.’
A hand warmly covered the hands clinging to the sheets. Gently he prised them free. ‘Your hands are like ice, Sabrina. What’s the matter?’
His frowning accusation set an uncontrollable shiver quaking over her shoulders. Emitting a shaky sigh, Sabrina admitted, ‘I’m frightened, Bay — of tomorrow.’
He said nothing for a minute. She felt him shift his weight on the bed. Then his arm circled her shoulders and he drew her against his chest, the back of his hand cradling her head near his chin.
‘Let’s think about this,’ he murmured calmly. ‘It’s not the thought of the tests Joe is going to do that frightens you. That only leaves two alternatives. One is that you’re afraid to have your sight restored and the second is that you won’t, right?’
Numbly Sabrina nodded her affirmation. The steady beat of his heart beneath her head and the protective circle of his strong arms was blissfully comforting.
‘I know you can’t be afraid of seeing again,’ he continued. ‘That result would have everyone rejoicing. That only leaves the second.’
‘I — ’ she began hesitantly. ‘I had accepted the fact that I was blind. I’ve started working in clay, did I tell you that? I’m an awful coward,’ she sighed. ‘I wish I’d never agreed to these tests. I wish I’d never met Doctor Joe. I don’t want to go through the agony of accepting all over again that I’m permanently blind.’
‘Where is that gutsy girl who was always trying to thumb her nose at convention?’ Bay mocked softly. ‘You aren’t a coward, Sabrina. A coward wouldn’t be here in the hospital taking the slim gamble that Joe offered. If the tests prove negative, you aren’t going to wail and pound your chest. The gutsy girl I know is going to shrug her shoulders and say, “Well, I gave it a go.” ’ She felt him smile against her hair. ‘To borrow an old cliché, Sabrina, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.’
‘That’s what I keep trying to tell myself,’ she sighed.
‘The secret is to stop saying and start admitting that it’s true.’ He didn’t require a reply as he held her for more long minutes. The strength seemed to flow from the muscles in his arms into her, chasing away her unreasonable fears. ‘Are you all right now?’ he asked finally.
‘Yes,’ she nodded against his chin, and smiled faintly.
‘Then I’d better be going before the nurse comes in and gets the wrong idea about what we’re doing,’ Bay teased softly.
Very gently he shifted her on to the pillow, tucking the sheet around her chest. As he started to straighten, Sabrina reached out for his arm.
‘Thank you for coming, Bay,’ she whispered tightly.
’don’t thank me for som
ething I wanted to do.’ Then he bent over her and there was a tantalizing brush of his mouth on hers. ‘Goodnight, Sabrina. I’ll be seeing you.’
‘Yes. Goodnight Bay.’
There were soft footsteps, then the swish of air as the door opened and closed.
The hospital bed felt like a pincushion. Sabrina knew it was the waiting. Two days of tests were over, and Doctor Joe would be relaying the results any minute. The grimness that had been in his voice the last day had convinced Sabrina that the results thus far hadn’t been encouraging.
Her father walked again to the window in her room. She knew he had no interest in the parking lot below, his patience giving way to restless pacing. She wished she could join him. In almost mid-stride he stopped and turned abruptly. A second later air from the corridor fanned her cheek and she turned toward the door.
‘Good morning, Sabrina, Mr. Lane,’ Doctor Joe Browning greeted each of them. His voice was professionally bright. ‘It’s really a lousy morning, but I suppose you San Franciscans are used to the fog.’
‘Good morning, Doctor Joe,’ Sabrina returned.
But her father skipped the pleasantries. ‘Are all the results in?’
‘Yes.’
The back of Sabrina’s neck prickled. Unconsciously she called out hesitantly, ‘Bay?’
‘Hello, Sabrina,’ he answered quietly.
’don’t tell me my patient has mental telepathy?’ the doctor laughed shortly in surprise.
‘A keen sense of smell,’ Bay corrected in a smiling voice. ‘She probably recognized my aftershave lotion.’
Sabrina didn’t correct him. She wasn’t certain herself how she had known he was there, and she couldn’t be positive that she hadn’t unconsciously caught a whiff of the spicy fragrance.
‘Well, to get back to the business at hand,’ Doctor Joe breathed in deeply, ‘I’ve analyzed the test results twice.’
He paused and Grant Lane prompted, ‘And?’
‘We knew when we rolled the dice, Mr. Lane, that it was a long shot, not even house odds.’ The grimness of his voice was all the warning Sabrina needed to brace herself for the rest of his answer. ‘The dice came up snake eyes. There isn’t anything that can be done. I’m deeply sorry that I put both of you through this.’
The silence from her father told Sabrina how much he had been praying for a miracle. So had she, for that matter, but she wasn’t as crushed as she had been the other times that the verdict was pronounced.
She summoned a weak smile. ‘We had to take the chance, Doctor Joe.’ Her smile deepened as she remembered Bay’s words that first night in the hospital. ‘We had to give it a go.’
The doctor walked to the bed and clasped one of her hands warmly between his. ‘Thank you, Sabrina.’
As Doctor Joe took his leave of her father, apologizing again, she heard Bay approach the bed. He stopped somewhere near the side. She felt his penetrating gaze run over her face.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked quietly.
‘Yes,’ she whispered, and she knew suddenly that it was the truth and not simply brave words.
‘I knew that gutsy blind queen would resurface,’ he told her.
‘With your help, she did,’ Sabrina answered.
‘I can’t take the credit for the strength you already possessed,’ Bay denied, ‘but we’ll argue the point another time. How about Saturday night?’
‘Saturday night?’ she repeated.
‘Yes, we can have dinner together. I’ll pick you up around seven.’
There was a breathless catch in her throat. ‘Is that an order or an invitation?’ she asked unevenly.
‘Both, depending on your answer.’
‘I’d be proud to have dinner with you, Mr. Cameron,’ Sabrina accepted with a demure inclination of her head.
More than proud, she added silently to herself. She found she was looking forward to Saturday night with uncommon eagerness.
Six
* * *
Sabrina slowly descended the steps to the second floor, fingering the soft knit of her top uncertainly. A tiny frown of indecision pulled the arch of her brows together. In the living room, she could hear her father’s and Deborah’s voices. She walked to the open doorway and paused.
’deborah, may I see you a minute?’ Sabrina requested, a hint of anxiety in her voice.
‘Of course.’ Footsteps muffled by the carpet quickly approached the doorway where she waited. ‘What is it?’
‘This pant suit, is it too dressy?’
‘I shouldn’t think so,’ Deborah frowned in confusion. ‘Bay is taking you out to dinner, isn’t he?’
‘Not to dinner exactly,’ Sabrina explained. ‘We’ll pick up something to eat at the Wharf like we did the last time and have a makeshift picnic somewhere. He’s not taking me out to a public restaurant.’ Her hand touched the camel tan slacks stitched in dark brown and the matching boat-necked top in the same brown. Over her arm, she carried a matching jacket and around her neck were progressively longer strands of gold chain. ‘Maybe I should wear something simpler?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Deborah decided after several seconds of consideration to the question. ‘You may not be going out to a fancy restaurant to dine, but that isn’t any reason why you have to look like an urchin. That pant suit is versatile enough to fit any occasion except the most formal one.’
‘Good,’ Sabrina sighed in relief. It was so difficult sometimes trying to judge by memory the clothes she wore. The front door bell rang. ‘That must be Bay now.’
‘Your purse is on the table,’ Deborah stated. ‘I’ll tell Bay you’re on your way down.’
Retrieving her purse, Sabrina slipped the ivory cane from the umbrella stand, hooked it over her arm and opened the stairwell door, calling a goodbye to her father before closing it. She darted eagerly down the stairs and through the street door to the gates.
‘I’m ready,’ she declared unnecessarily, unlocking the gates and walking through.
Bay’s hand touched her arm in light possession as he directed her to his parked car. ‘I was hoping you might wear that new dress tonight.’
Sabrina laughed softly. ‘I’d look pretty silly wearing that to a picnic!’
‘A picnic?’ he repeated. ‘We aren’t going to a picnic. I’m taking you out to dinner, remember?’
‘But — ’ she stopped short.
‘But what?’ He paused patiently beside her.
‘You know very well that I don’t eat in public places,’ she stated, punctuating the sentence with an emphatic tap of her cane.
‘Yes, I remember what you said.’ His arm crossed her back and he forcibly moved her toward the car. The door was opened and Sabrina was helped and shoved inside. She fumbled for the door handle, only to find the door was locked. Before she could find the lock, Bay was in the car, his hand tightly closing over her wrist.
‘You’re not paying attention to me,’ Sabrina accused.
‘I can’t give you all of my attention and drive too,’ Bay countered logically, starting the car and turning it away from the curb with one hand. ‘We’re going to a nice little Italian restaurant. It doesn’t look much from the outside, but the food is excellent.’
‘I’m not going,’ she declared.
‘Sabrina, you can’t keep avoiding things on the off chance that you’ll do something embarrassing.’ The firm tone of his voice said his patience was thinning.
‘You’re going to look pretty silly yourself dragging me into that restaurant,’ she commented smugly.
‘I hope you aren’t counting on the fact that I won’t, because if that’s the only way I can get you in the door, I’ll do it,’ Bay stated.
In that flashing second, Sabrina realized that he meant it. No stubbornness or anger on her part would change his mind. He actually meant to get her in the restaurant one way or the other.
‘You’re a brute and a bully!’ she hissed angrily. ‘I don’t know why I ever agreed to come with you tonight. I shou
ld have guessed you would do something like this.’
‘You’d better be careful,’ he warned mockingly. ‘I could change my mind and take you to a Chinese restaurant and put a pair of chopsticks in your hand. I don’t think you’d fare too successfully with those.’
The pouting line of her mouth twitched as her innate sense of humor surfaced. She covered her mouth with her hand to try to hide the smile that was breaking through. She had never mastered the use of chopsticks when she could see. Any attempt now that she was blind would be absurd.
‘I see that smile,’ Bay laughed softly. ‘It’s a decided improvement on that stubborn blind monkey that was sitting beside me a minute ago. You just keep wearing it. And don’t be embarrassed if you spill something. Sighted people do it all the time.’
‘Why can’t I ever win an argument with you?’ Sabrina sighed, but with humor.
‘Because, my little blind queen,’ he drawled, ‘you always know that I’m right.’
Surprisingly, as far as Sabrina was concerned, the dinner was without mishap. The other times she had eaten out shortly after the accident, she had invariably tipped over a glass or dropped food on the table, but not this time. Bay had laughingly threatened to order her spaghetti, but it was a very excellent lasagna that she had received instead.
She leaned back in her chair, a hand securely touching the coffee cup so she wouldn’t forget where it was. A tiny sigh of contentment broke from her lips.
‘What was that for?’ Bay inquired softly.
‘For a very enjoyable meal,’ she responded. ‘Thank you for making me come.’
‘I prefer the word “persuaded.” ’ Amusement danced in his voice.
‘“Persuaded” me to come then,’ she acknowledged with a dimpling smile.
‘No depression because of the negative test results?’ Despite the teasing tone, there was an underlying hint of seriousness.
‘I wish it had been otherwise, of course,’ Sabrina shrugged, ‘but I don’t mind as much as I might have. Partly because of the advice you gave me and partly because I’d already started working again, in a creative sense. My life as a blind woman was not without purpose when I went into the hospital this time. Before when the specialists gave me their verdict, I had nothing to look forward to but emptiness. Now, I have a goal.’