“I’d like to stay till then, for Salima’s sake,” Blaise said quietly. “She’ll want to go. I guess we can stay at the bed and breakfast till then.”
“I’ll tell Simon to be ready in the morning,” Eric said, looking harried. He had fifty students to send home, with monitors to go with them, and a school to close.
“Can I at least meet him?” Blaise asked, sounding skeptical.
“Of course. I’ll have him in my office at nine o’clock tomorrow morning. I think he’d be great for Salima. In a way, better than Abby, although I loved her too. But Simon has excellent training, and his skills are very strong. He went to Harvard. He has a master’s in special ed, and another one in psychology. He’s been here as long as Abby, and I’d trust him with my life.”
“He’s a guy,” Blaise said, looking unhappy. She left Eric then and went back to the cottage. Salima was still asleep, and Lara had gone to sleep on the couch in a sleeping bag. She didn’t want to use Abby’s bedroom and was nervous about even being there. Blaise was planning to sleep with her daughter.
Blaise called Charlie on her cell phone while standing in the kitchen, and lowered her voice so she didn’t wake anyone up. The last thing she wanted was Salima awake and crying all night.
“How’s it going?” he asked her.
“It’s a mess. The only monitor they can give me for her is a man. I don’t know how we’re going to work that.”
“You’ll figure out something. Maybe you can find someone here.”
“Yeah, maybe. But I’d rather have someone from the school. I just don’t know what to do with a guy. I’m not set up for that.” She was convinced it wouldn’t work.
“Do you know when you’re coming back yet?” Charlie sounded worried.
“The funeral is the day after tomorrow. We’ll stay at the bed and breakfast till then. Salima will want to go. I need to be off tomorrow and the day after, and then I’ll come back to work.”
“That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re entitled to three days off.” Not with Susie Quentin on deck, Blaise thought to herself, and competing with her, with the management guys snowed by her. The timing was terrible on this. And now Salima would be at home for two or three months, and Blaise would be pulled in all directions with a male caretaker for her, who would be more of a headache than a help. “Stay in touch,” Charlie told her, “and let me know if I can do anything to help.”
“Thanks, Charlie,” Blaise said, and hung up. She put on her nightgown after that and slipped into bed with Salima, who was sound asleep.
Salima started crying again the next morning as soon as she woke up. Blaise made her breakfast, which she wouldn’t eat, and then went to shower and dress. And she was at Eric’s office at nine o’clock, to meet Simon, and left Salima at the cottage with Lara. She hadn’t told Salima yet that Simon was coming to New York. And as soon as Blaise saw him, her heart sank. Simon Ward looked proper and respectable and was wearing a blazer and jeans. His hair was trimmed, and he was wearing a clean well-ironed shirt, but he was tall and well built and good looking, and was about thirty-five years old, with dark hair and eyes. Everything about him said male, and all she needed was for him to fall for Salima, who was a beautiful girl. This was a headache she just didn’t need, especially now. Eric invited them all to sit down in his office, and Simon looked a lot more relaxed than Blaise. He was deeply sympathetic to her loss and said he knew how attached Salima had been to Abby, and he was prepared to do everything he could to help both mother and daughter at this trying time.
“I don’t think this will work,” Blaise said honestly to Simon. “We’re just not set up to have a man in the house. And who will dress her? I leave for work at six A.M., and I travel most of the time.”
“If I lay out her clothes for her, she can dress herself,” he said calmly. He didn’t add that at nineteen she should have been doing that herself for years. But he knew Abby had babied her and did everything for her. He and Abby had argued about it at staff meetings, when they discussed their caseloads and theories about them. He had said that she wasn’t doing Salima any favors by treating her like a child. “I think we’ll do fine,” he said in a gentle voice. But Blaise wasn’t convinced. She could think of a thousand things that could go wrong. She looked deeply worried. “We’ll do the best we can. Is there anything you’d like to ask me?” he asked Blaise, looking her in the eye.
“How long have you been doing this kind of work?” she asked, but it didn’t make a difference. She didn’t want a man.
“For eight years, since I left graduate school. I’m thirty-two. I graduated from Harvard. My master’s degrees are in special ed and psych. And my brother went blind at eighteen. He was a downhill racer, training for the Olympics. He got a head injury and lost his sight. He gave up on everything at first. He’s two years older than I am, and I just wouldn’t let him give up. I hounded him till he went back to school and got back on track, so I’ve been doing this kind of work for a long time,” he said with a small smile.
“And where is your brother now?” Blaise asked, curious about him. Simon was at least well spoken and seemed like a nice man. He would have been fine at a dinner party, but not to take care of her daughter. What would he do when she needed to take a bath, and there was no one to help?
“My brother teaches French literature at Harvard. My father is the head of the physics department, and kind of a mad scientist and inventor. My brother is much more down to earth. He’s married and has four kids. So I guess the badgering worked.” Simon smiled, and Blaise didn’t.
“And your mother?” It was an irrelevant question, but Blaise’s interest was piqued by his history, and the brother he had helped, and the mad scientist father. They sounded like an intriguing group.
“My mother is a poet. She’s French. She publishes every five or ten years with obscure publishers who do poetry that no one wants to read. She’s from Bordeaux, and she was a student of my father’s. He’s twenty-two years older than she is. He was a confirmed bachelor when they met and fell in love. They married a year later, and they’re very happy together. They’re both fairly eccentric, but it seems to work. Or at least it has for the past thirty-five years. So that’s my background. What do you think, Miss McCarthy? Would you like me to come to New York? I think I can be helpful to you and Salima while the school is closed. And I’m a fairly decent cook.” In fact, he had studied at Cordon Bleu in Paris and spent two college summers as a sous chef, but he didn’t tell her that. “I’ll do my very best.”
“We don’t have much choice,” she said with a bleak look. She couldn’t take care of Salima alone.
“I think with a little guidance, Salima will need a lot less assistance than you think.” His goal, if he went with them, was to make Salima as independent as he could. It would be his gift to her. Unlike Abby, who had kept her in a cocoon.
Blaise was no more convinced when she left Eric’s office, but they really had no other choice. And as Eric walked her back toward the cottage, he told her that Simon’s mother was not just French, she was a Rothschild, and his grandfather was a baron. And as she walked the rest of the way to the cottage, Blaise thought about him again. He was obviously intelligent and good looking and everything she didn’t want in her home. They were two women. She didn’t want a man taking care of Salima, or even around her, no matter who his grandparents were.
As soon as Simon left Eric’s office, he took his bicycle and rode into town. He stopped at a house with a dilapidated front porch, and hurried inside. He had told Megan he would meet her there. She was also a teacher at Caldwell and had left the school the night before. And there were toys everywhere. She lived there with her husband and three sons.
“Are you going?” she asked him, looking anxious. He had called her the night before to tell her of Eric’s offer, to send him to New York with Blaise.
“Yes, I am,” he said quietly, standing in her kitchen, which was a mess. She hadn’t cleared the breakfast dishes away
yet. And in spite of the fact that she was married, he’d been in love with her for three years. “I have no other choice. I need the job, and she needs the help.” He looked at Megan with despair. “We’re going nowhere, Meg. You said you were getting divorced. That’s the only reason I got into this. If I thought you’d stay with him, I never would have.”
“I was going to, then his brother died, he lost his job, and his mother got sick. What do you expect me to do?” There were tears running down her cheeks. “I don’t like this either, but I can’t just kill the guy on the way out.”
“You’re killing me. I never wanted to be in a situation like this. It’s dishonest. I’m tired of sneaking around, while you tell me how miserable you are with him and don’t leave. And one of these days, he’ll figure it out and kill us both. Or just me. Or you, which would be worse. I love you, Meg. But I’m not trying to steal you from him. You told me before we started that you were leaving him. You never did. It turned into a huge mess with us sneaking around and lying to him while you drag your feet. That’s not how it was supposed to be. If you want us, you have to get out of this mess on your own so we can start clean.” It had gone on for three years. “Maybe three months away from each other will do us both good. It’s too depressing this way.” He couldn’t call her at night, or on weekends. Either her husband was around or the kids were, and they had been meeting in motels in the next town for a few hours. It was tawdry and their affair had started when Megan got a job at the school three years before and had told him she was getting divorced. She put her arms around him and sobbed.
“I don’t want you to go. Don’t leave me here, Simon. It’ll kill me if I lose you now.”
“No, it won’t. Or then do something about it. I can’t stand listening to how much he drinks and slaps you around. Meg, you’re driving me insane.”
“Are you in love with Blaise McCarthy?” she asked, looking up at him with frightened eyes, and he shook his head.
“No, I’m not. I barely know her. She’s a huge star, Meg. She doesn’t even want me there. She wants a woman, but I’m the only monitor who’ll go. I feel sorry for her, and I’d like to help get Salima out of the cocoon Abby built for her that’s strangling her.” But Abby wasn’t the issue now, nor was Blaise. Meg was, and the illicit affair they’d been having for three years. She was still tangled up in her marriage and couldn’t seem to cut loose. And if she didn’t, he would. He had been saying it to her for months. And the school closing had turned out to be providential. He needed time away now to breathe. He felt suffocated by the situation they were in. “I have to go, Meg. They’re waiting for me. I think we’re staying at the bed and breakfast tonight. We’re leaving for New York after the funeral tomorrow. If you go, I’ll see you there.”
“I can’t go,” she said miserably. “I have to take my mother-in-law to chemo.” He didn’t say it, but he thought it was just as well, and he wanted to say goodbye to her now. For the next few months, at least, until she decided what she wanted. He was no longer willing to continue the affair if she stayed married. “And he’ll be home tonight, so I can’t get out. Will you call me from New York?” she asked, sounding desperate again. She hadn’t expected this to happen, or that he’d leave so soon. But he had been warning her of this for a while. And the school closing was giving them the break he needed. He loved her but he felt like a scumbag sneaking around with her, and meeting in motels. Three years had been way too long.
“I don’t know,” Simon said honestly, about calling her. “I’m not sure I should. And when am I supposed to call? He’s home at night, and the kids are here the rest of the time.” Everything was wrong with their situation, and they both knew it. Simon had never been in a relationship like this in his life, and never wanted to be again. And loving her just made it worse for him.
“You can call when they’re in school,” she pleaded with him.
“I’ll be with Salima,” he said, walking to the door, with a last look at her, not sure if he’d ever see her again, and there were tears in his eyes too. “I love you, Meg. I’m sorry,” he said, and then he was gone. He hurried down the steps, got on his bike, and rode back to Caldwell, where he knew Blaise and Salima were waiting for him. And he felt as though his heart were breaking as he pedaled up the road as fast as he could.
Chapter 5
When Simon got back to the cottage, Blaise and Salima were waiting for him. Blaise was slightly annoyed that Simon had disappeared for half an hour, but she didn’t say anything as he loaded the heaviest bags into the car. Salima normally kept all of her favorite clothes there, but it was impossible to know what Salima would want in the city, so Blaise thought it best to take everything with them. And Blaise’s car was loaded to the gills. There was hardly room for them, and it would be a tight fit. Blaise thanked Lara for everything as she left.
While Simon was out, Blaise had explained to Salima that Simon was going to New York with them, and that Eric had no one else to send. Salima had tried to object, and sensing it was hopeless, she sobbed in despair. Her life had turned into a nightmare overnight.
Parents had been arriving at the school all morning to pick up their children. Blaise was one of the last to drive off the grounds, and Eric showed up at the cottage just before they did to wish them luck, and promise to keep them informed. Everyone was concerned about other kids getting sick, and Eric promised to advise them of the exact date they’d reopen. He didn’t know it yet, other than that it would be sometime in January after the holidays, which made the most sense and worked with the quarantine. It seemed like a lifetime to Blaise. All three of them were silent as they drove the short distance to the bed and breakfast where Blaise had reserved two rooms for the night. She and Salima were going to share a room with a large bed, and Simon had a similar room to himself. They were the two best rooms in the house. When they reached the bed and breakfast, Blaise led Salima inside and upstairs to their rooms. They were small but pretty, and Salima said she wanted to stay there all day and not go out.
“We have to leave the inn to eat,” her mother said gently, as Salima found the bed, sat down on it, and shook her head.
“I’m not hungry,” she said, as she started to cry again. It was going to be a long day in the tiny room. Simon showed up a short time later, and suggested they go to Peterson’s for lunch. Salima just listened and shook her head. He and Blaise exchanged a look, and he nodded and left.
He was back half an hour later with delicious sandwiches on fresh bread, a bag of fruit, and some cheese he had bought at a deli nearby. He was very aware of Salima’s calories and carbohydrates, and only used sugar substitutes, as Salima had to be careful with carbs and anything sweet because of her diabetes. And she tried to be conscious of her weight. But Salima hardly touched any of it, and Simon and Blaise took their sandwiches outside.
“She has to eat,” Blaise said, looking worried. The sandwiches were delicious, and they devoured them while they talked. She was grateful that he’d brought the food back. Salima had eaten very little breakfast that morning and she had to be responsible about what she ate, and not skip meals. She had only eaten the bare minimum required for her since the day before, when her mother arrived, she was too sad.
“She’ll eat more when she’s hungry,” he said calmly. “There’s too much going on. It will do her good to get home tomorrow. The funeral will be rough.” He quietly brought meals to her for the rest of the day. Salima ate them but never said a word to him.
The funeral the next day was worse than rough. When the three of them went to the tiny church just outside town, all the teachers from Caldwell were there, and Abby’s childhood friends, and her mother was pushed into the church in a wheelchair, sobbing uncontrollably, as Abby’s casket sat in front of the altar, and the church was filled with flowers. Blaise led Salima into a pew, and they sat down. The priest spoke glowingly of Abby, he had known her since she was a child, and you could hear people crying all over the church. Salima sobbed throughout, until the
moment came when Salima had agreed to sing the Ave Maria, and Blaise led her to the organ. She stood pale and shaking and tore everyone’s heart out with her incredibly pure voice.
With Blaise’s help, she stopped to speak to Abby’s mother on the way out. Salima hugged her when she thanked her tearfully for singing, and all the two women could do was hold each other and cry. And then Blaise led her back to the car. She had to sit in the backseat amid her clothes and bags of belongings piled everywhere. Simon slid into the passenger seat but offered to drive.
“It’s okay. I’m fine,” Blaise said quietly. It was noon when they set off for New York, after the funeral for the young woman Salima had loved so much. The silence in the car was deafening, all you could hear was Salima crying as they got onto the highway and headed south. It was going to be a very long three hours, and a much longer three months.
Simon was silent, as he stared out the window at the scarlet trees, thinking of Megan, and Blaise turned on the radio to drown out the sound of Salima’s sobs. She paid no attention to what station she put on, she was vaguely aware that it was some kind of gospel music, and they drove on, all three of them lost in thought. Blaise was panicking over the next few months. So far Simon had done nothing but stand discreetly aside, while Salima clung to her mother’s arm. She wanted no one else.
As she was driving, Blaise was thinking about the work she had to do when she got back, when there was a soft sound from the back seat. Salima had recognized one of the gospel songs, and was singing softly. Her voice grew as the choir joined the soloist, and Salima hit all the high notes with ease as Simon turned in his seat and stared at her. He had never heard a voice like hers in his life. Her rendition of the Ave Maria at Abby’s funeral had been touching and beautiful but more subdued, but in the car with Simon and her mother, she let her voice soar as a form of release. She sang the next two songs with the radio as well. She liked listening to gospel music sometimes, and she and Abby had kidded around as Salima let her voice fly to the rafters, just as she did now. It was a relief of sorts from the sadness she felt, and then she fell silent again. Simon was in awe of what he had just heard.
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