I was silent for a moment, digesting.
“You mean like take the red pill and the blue pill?” I asked slowly, new horizons beginning to expand in my head.
And Rebecca nodded.
“Maybe take both pills, or blend the pills together to make a purple pill, or look for an orange pill somewhere,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “The world is your oyster, that’s all I’m trying to say. What you’ve laid out is tough, I completely agree, but it’s not insurmountable. Just takes a little bit of work and elbow grease.”
And I nodded slowly then, realization dawning in my mind.
“I hear what you’re saying,” I murmured, more to myself than anyone. “I just thought that the whole image of the woman trying to juggle everything was someone middle-aged, like a thirty-five year old career woman with kids, a husband, who’s also a professional and a PTA mom.”
“That’s who the magazines usually profile,” nodded Rebecca agreeably. “But I don’t think that woman is so different from you. You’re younger, sure, so maybe it hasn’t quite started yet, but your plate sounds like it’s filling up pretty fast.”
And then I was really stunned. Because the counselor’s words were slowly seeping in, penetrating my brain, making some sense. I’d always thought that if I had a baby at eighteen, then life was over. If I dropped out of school, then I was a hopeless loser, my parents would disown me, I’d be done for, with no future, no career, just a down-and-out girl, barefoot with three kids living on hand-outs on the wrong side of the tracks.
But that vision was so extreme, so win-or-lose. And it didn’t have to be that way. There was nothing that said that all that would come true, that that terrible vision of the future had the name “Mandy” emblazoned on it. I was in love, and when you’re in love, babies are natural. Even more importantly, when you’re in love, you have to make compromises and compromises come from both sides of the table. So suddenly, I sat up, alert and filled with energy.
“Rebecca,” I said firmly. “Oh wait, should I be calling you doctor something?”
And the counselor shook her head.
“No, because I don’t have my Ph.D yet,” she laughed.
Oh right. I chuckled myself. God, it felt so good to laugh, a load lifting off my chest, my ability to breathe unhampered, birds twittering in the air. But of course, that wasn’t true. I was still in a windowless room in the campus medical center, it was just that new possibilities had opened. And I hadn’t known it, but these possibilities had always been there, had always beckoned to me, promising, whispering. I merely had to step forward and embrace them.
“Rebecca,” I began again. “I want to thank you because you can’t imagine what you’ve done. I’m not sure what the answers are, but I feel like … I don’t know, I feel like there’s a path forward. Or not one path forward,” I corrected, “but multiple paths, or blended paths, or maybe I have to carve out a new one.”
She nodded, smiling at me.
“Exactly, there isn’t always a right road or a wrong road,” she reminded gently. “Just like there isn’t a blue pill or a red pill. There are many different roads, and you can take any of them and be very happy.”
I jumped up then, heart beating fast. Because I had to talk to Pete, I had to get Mr. Parker on the phone and tell him about all this. Most of all, I had to tell him that I loved him and that we should be together, somehow, some way. I didn’t have the answers, but we’d figure it out, together as lovers.
“I have to go,” I said quickly. “This has been amazing, I can’t tell you how helpful you’ve been, thank you, thank you, thank you, I really appreciate it.” And with that, I bolted from the room, Rebecca’s laugh ringing in my ears.
“Don’t forget to fill out the questionnaire,” trailed her voice behind me. “We’d appreciate the feedback very much!”
And I nodded although she couldn’t see me because I was already running back to my dorm. I had to talk to Pete the sooner the better, now if possible, and it couldn’t wait. My heart was bursting with adoration, with excitement, with possibilities … because I loved him so much it positively hurt.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Mandy
I threw open the door to my apartment, breathless, running into our common living area, eyes wild, panting. I just needed a little privacy, I was going to go into my room and shut the door, dial Pete on the land line and have a real conversation with the man. Except my feet came skidding to a halt because he was here. Right here, sitting on my living room couch chatting with Jane, my roomie, like nothing was the matter.
“Oh Mandy,” sighed Jane, a blonde bombshell from Texas, “Mr. Parker was just telling me that you worked for him over winter break taking care of his daughter. She probably looks just like you, right Peter?” she cooed. “The tot must be irresistible, just like you,” the woman flirted.
Immediately my hackles went up. What the hell was Jane doing sitting so close to my man? My ears steamed, there was probably smoke coming out of them as I glared. Because my roommate was one of those girls who has two sides to her. When males are around, she’s so nice, making like we’re friends, pretending to be a sweet girl. But when it’s only women, or worse, when it’s just me, she turns into ice, a snowman with an icicle for a heart.
But of course, with an attractive alpha male on our couch, the blonde was once again doing her Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde act and acting all sugary and nice.
“Oh let me get you some brownies,” she simpered, standing up and tugging down the front of her sweater so that your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to her breasts. “Mandy and I made them together, it was such a roommate bonding experience.”
I forced myself to keep calm. Actually, I’d made the brownies and Jane had just pulled them out of the oven at the set time, but there was no way to state that calmly without sounding like a bitch myself. So I took a deep breath and focused on the alpha male.
“Peter, what are you doing here?” I asked. “I didn’t expect to see you. Is Violet okay?”
Mr. Parker held up my winter jacket, something he’d bought especially for me, a deep purple coat filled with goosedown, thin but warm and stylish. I’d accidentally left it in the hall closet when I left, cursing myself when I realized.
“Yeah, Violet’s good,” he rumbled. “She and Mrs. Larson get along like a house on fire, you were right, they’re a great match. But I stopped by because you left this at my place,” he added. “And seeing that I had a business meeting in the area, thought I’d drop it off. You can’t be very warm in the parka you have on.”
I flushed, because I hadn’t had time to buy myself something new, so had dressed in layers instead, wearing two sweaters and then a thin windbreaker over the whole pile. Okay, I looked a little bulky and shapeless, but it was zero degrees after all, really cold. And for some reason, I hadn’t wanted to touch the money Pete had paid me until I got my emotions sorted out, until I felt like there was a solution at hand. So yeah, I’d been schlepping around school looking like a fuzzy bear, cuddly and warm but hardly attractive.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. “Did you want to hang out here, or can I take you to a cup of coffee as a thank you? Show you around our snowy campus? It’s gorgeous this time of year, really Christmas-y.”
And at that moment, Jane whisked back in, looking like a sexy homemaker. She’d tied her hair up so that blonde tendrils hung around her ears, and even put on a red-and-white striped apron, tying it tight around her waist to emphasize the narrowness.
“Oh stay!” she fluttered, putting down the brownies and leaning forward so that the big man could get a good look at that bosom. I snorted then. The blonde had no idea that she wasn’t his type at all. Small boobs and a flat ass are popular for models in magazines, but I knew Mr. Parker’s type. Big, bountiful, and lush, with plenty to squeeze. The girl was barking up the wrong tree like a horny cat and didn’t even know it.
And Mr. Parker was through as well, Jane’s “tempt
ations” be damned. He was on his feet in a sec, hauling that big form up, towering in our tiny apartment, making our furniture look positively doll-like.
“Let’s go out,” he growled. “These brownies look delicious, um … I’m so sorry, what was your name again?”
And my roommate pouted, her cherry red lips going down in a frown.
“I’m Jane,” she said testily. “Jane as in Dick and Jane.”
I snorted a little under my breath, it wasn’t often that men forgot my gorgeous roomie’s name, but this man was already taken, and he had other things on his mind. But the blonde was tenacious, that was sure. Reaching for her jacket, she breezily said, “Oh I’ll come too!” while fluffing out her hair so that it hung perfectly over her shoulders. “Café Roma’s just two blocks away and has the most amazing peppermint hot chocolate. We could share a large,” she looked meaningfully at Mr. Parker. Heat almost steamed from my ears because there were sexual insinuations in every word from her mouth. But the big man didn’t even look her way.
“Naw, not a fan of hot chocolate,” he growled, picking up his scarf and wrapping that dark material around his bronzed throat. How many times I’d pressed my mouth to his throat as I came, shrieks ringing out against his skin, breasts smooshed against his chest as my pussy shook. And Mr. Parker looked at me as if reading my mind, eyes gleaming, a wicked smile playing against his lips.
“Like I said, not a fan of hot chocolate and Mandy and I have some catching up to do,” he growled, looking at Jane finally, an unmistakable disinvitation if there ever was one. “We’ll be great on our own, thanks.”
At least the blonde got the hint this time. But still, she didn’t give up.
“Well if you need to reach me, here’s my number,” she said, slipping a card into his big hand, his fingers gripping it reflexively, surprised. This was going too far, she’d crossed the line and I wasn’t having it.
“Thanks,” I said, fixing her with a stare. “Thanks, we appreciate it. Let’s go. Ready?” I asked the big man.
And he nodded.
“As ever,” he growled, and together we stepped outside and onto the sidewalk. It was chilly and I stamped my feet a bit as we started to walk, our feet leaving prints in the thin layer of snow.
“I’m so sorry about that,” I murmured, looking down a little. “It’s not usually so bad, Jane and I aren’t really friends, she just wanted to be your friend.”
The big man shot me a wry smile.
“You think?” he said, eyebrow arched.
And I burst out laughing then, our previous easiness restored.
“Yeah, definitely. And seriously, that girl and I have nothing in common, she’s like a vampire sometimes, you never know when she’s going to draw blood,” I said with a rueful sigh.
He paused to throw her card into a nearby trash bin.
“No worries,” he said easily. “It’s nothing, not even a fly on my radar,” he grunted. “Now where to? You got a place you want to go, little girl? Some place we can be alone?”
And the word “alone” made my heart leap. But unfortunately, there weren’t many alone-type places on campus, not now with class in session. So I shook my head hopelessly until an idea sprang to mind.
“How about the library?” I asked quickly. “I know it sounds really dorky, but there’s a place deep in the stacks where no one really goes, and we can talk there in private. You did want to be private, right?” I asked, stammering a little.
Mr. Parker grinned at me, blue eyes dancing.
“I definitely wanted to talk privately with you,” he rumbled deep in his throat. “And sure, the stacks sound great so long as they’ll let me into the building.”
Oh shit. Right. You have to have a student ID to get into the library, it’d completely slipped my mind and there was no way we could magic one out of nowhere. My heart sank. I guess we were going to have to have meaningful conversation in a coffee shop somewhere, with other tables mere inches away, curious ears and curious eyes all around.
But seeing the slump in my shoulders, Mr. Parker laughed then.
“Baby,” he said gently. “How about if we sit in my car? I brought the Range Rover and it’s big,” he said with an eyebrow raised, “at least we can be warm and talk there.”
And I nodded gratefully. Mr. Parker to the rescue again. The Range Rover would be perfect, with its heated leather seats and plush interior. But especially because I wanted to be close to him, to see his features mere inches away, instead of just in my imagination. So I agreed.
“Sounds perfect,” I murmured. “Let’s go.”
And with quick steps, we made our way two streets across to where he was parked, the black SUV just like I remembered, luxurious and sporty, a mammoth pulled up to the sidewalk.
“Up you go,” he growled, helping me in. “Don’t lose your balance.”
And I huffed a little. They made these things so high and I was hardly a small girl, there was a lot to move into the car, my flesh bouncing as I heaved myself into the seat. But finally we were all settled and the big man shut the door behind himself, closing us off from the outside world.
“Ready?” he asked, eyebrow quirked.
I was confused. Ready for what? To talk? Were we driving somewhere? But instead, his mouth swooped in and seized mine in a kiss, deep, pulsing, everything I hoped it would be and more. Because it was so reassuring to be with him once again, to be in this small space with that dominant form, the confident alpha, knowing deep in my bones that everything would be okay.
And Mr. Parker felt the same way, I could tell. Because his mouth moved feverishly over mine, tracing the seam of my lips before gently coaxing them apart, and then burying his tongue inside, tasting me, licking, like he couldn’t get enough.
The big man shook a little as he touched me, his hands trembling as he stroked my curves, sensuously running his palms over my breasts.
“I’ve missed these,” he ground out. “You can’t imagine how much.”
And I mewled as he touched me, body going to a hundred degrees immediately. Because I felt exactly the same way, craving him, so desperate for him, his form, his presence surrounding me day after day, buoying my spirit, bringing peace, warmth and laughter to my soul. And I’d been so confused that I’d actually gone for counseling, to get a professional opinion for my problems. But it’d worked because suddenly, Rebecca’s words rang in my head again, how there were many paths and maybe I didn’t have to choose. So I broke off the kiss for a moment, leaning back, gazing at him as we both tried to get our bodies under control.
“Peter,” I said, “we have to talk.”
The alpha looked like he wanted to devour me, strip off all my clothes and take me right there in the car, but he nodded, breathing hard.
“You’re right,” he ground out. “Talk, right, talk,” he muttered more to himself than anyone.
And I smiled at him.
“But first, I want to know why you’re here,” I teased a little. “The winter jacket excuse? You know you paid me more than enough to buy a new one, you didn’t have to bring it up.”
And he nodded, chuckling deep in his chest.
“Yeah, it was pretty exciting when I found it in the closet because suddenly I had a reason to see you. A lame one, sure, because I could have mailed it, but honey, I had to see you. You know that. You’ve been gone two weeks now and it’s been pandemonium at my place.”
My eyes went wide suddenly.
“Oh my god, is Violet okay? How is she?” I gasped. Suddenly, I felt guilty, like a bad person. “I keep meaning to call but it’s been … you know, hard.”
Mr. Parker just laughed.
“I know,” he said comfortingly. “I hated the thought of us talking on the phone like strangers, that’s part of the reason I wanted to come up in person. But no, I meant pandemonium in a good way.”
I shook my head. How could chaos be good?
He grinned at me.
“I remodeled the basement at our house
, and the first thing I did was put in a jungle gym for Violet, complete with monkey bars and swings. Indoors,” he said meaningfully. “So our little tyke is always playing down there, shrieking and laughing with joy.”
And I smiled then. Sure, what he was describing was an incredible luxury, beyond the means of ninety-nine percent of the world, but it was no big deal to someone of Mr. Parker’s wealth.
“So Violet’s happy?” I asked tremulously. “With her own jungle gym, her own indoor playground?”
“Very much so,” he growled, nodding. “But not so much her dad.”
And my heart began beating furiously.
“Why not?” I asked, just to hear his answer, although I knew what was coming. And he didn’t let me down. Taking my palm in his big hand, the alpha squeezed my fingers tight, looking meaningfully into my eyes, those blue ones suddenly blazing, so hot I could feel them scorching my skin.
“Because baby, I’m in love with you, and these two weeks have been hell,” he growled. “It’s been a fucking hellhole, what with you gone, the construction going non-stop, Violet missing you, me missing you. People shouldn’t be apart when they love one another,” he growled, those blue eyes feverish, eating me up. “And that includes us.”
The world slowed then, the sands of time dropping grain by grain through the hourglass because possibilities were unfolding, a myriad of colors springing before my eyes, my breathing growing deep, yet shallow at once. Was this really happening? Was Mr. Parker declaring himself, did he have a plan to bring us together? I wasn’t sure, so I tread carefully.
“But what’s changed?” I asked quietly. “I’m a student here at Evergreen and you live sixty miles away in New Jersey. Are you expecting me to drop out of school? Or commute? You know I can’t,” I said gently. “The New Jersey turnpike is awful, it would be three hours of driving each way and there’s no way I can do that for four years.”
His Captive: A Revenge Marriage Romance Page 25