“Do you think Ryan would have a beer with me sometime if I asked him?” Johnny asked thoughtfully.
“Why, you interested in him?”
Johnny chuckled. “Not exactly. The guy’s obviously important to you, so I think maybe it’s time we cleared the air and tried to get along.”
“Oh, I would love that. And yes, he’ll have a beer with you if I tell him he has to.”
“Cool. Oh, and you know, don’t tell him I didn’t know he was gay. He’ll think I’m an idiot.”
“Okay, I promise I won’t tell him,” I said, feeling giddy at the thought of the two of them finally getting along. They were both great guys, and I just knew they could be friends if they gave it a chance. “And Johnny, let’s promise we’ll be honest with each other from now on. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me if something’s bothering you. Okay?”
“Okay,” he said slowly, deliberately.
“What?” I said, feeling a bit nervous. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
“Well, maybe. It’s no big thing, but since we’re being honest here … can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” I said, eyes wide.
“When I came here tonight and said I had something important to tell you, you looked kinda freaked out. Did you think I was gonna propose or something?”
“No, no. Nothing like that,” I said softly. “The truth is I thought you were gonna say you got all your money back.”
“Oh. Would that have been so terrible?”
“I don’t know. I hope not. I mean, I know it’s what you want, so of course I want that for you.” I put my hand on his knee as I sat facing him. “I guess I’m afraid of what will happen if you’re rich again.”
“You’re afraid I’ll turn back into a spoiled asshole,” Johnny said, not unkindly.
“Yes. I mean, I don’t really think that will happen, but it still scares me. Money changes people. You can’t deny that you became a completely different person without it. It would be so easy to fall right back into old habits if you were suddenly a billionaire again. And …”
“What?” Johnny asked gently, his eyes full of concern.
“All those girls,” I said quietly. “If you get your fortune back, you’ll be able to get any girl you want.”
“Rosemary,” Johnny said, reaching out to caress my face. “I already have the only girl I want. Look, I know I’m still kinda figuring stuff out, like who I am now, and who I want to be. And I know that getting my money back might complicate things a bit, but I’ll never go back to being the guy I was. That guy didn’t have you. I know you couldn’t stand the old me, and I don’t like him either. I’m not gonna be Johnny Creep again, no matter how rich I am. I promise you, Rosemary.”
“Okay, Johnny,” I said, gazing into his eyes. It felt like he was making a solemn vow not to change back to who he used to be, and it made me feel so much better. “I believe you.”
I could see the kindness in his eyes that I had come to know and love. Everything about him was different from the clueless, arrogant idiot he used to be when he was my boss.
“Listen, Rosemary. I’ve been thinking a lot about New York and, well, I want to tell you that if you’re ready to go … I could go with you. But look,” he said, grasping my hand and making sure I looked into his eyes. “I know how important this is to you, and if you feel like this is something you have to do on your own, I’ll understand. I would go raving batshit insane without you here, but I would wait for you. You know— faithfully—until you either hit it big or decide you want to come back home.”
I nodded, taking in his words.
“You mean, you’d really be willing to just pack up and leave everything behind to come with me to New York?”
“Well, it would be quite a sacrifice for me. After all, I’ve built quite a life for myself in D.C. with my dream job as a used-car salesman and my sexy one-bedroom apartment.” I giggled, and Johnny smiled and squeezed my hand. “Of course I want to be with you, wherever you are. But I know this is a once-in-a-lifetime shot for you, and I’ll understand if you need to do it by yourself.”
“You know, Johnny, living in New York is pretty tough if you’re broke. I mean, any apartment we got, even way outside New York, would probably make your little apartment seem like a palace.”
Johnny shrugged, then nodded. I got the feeling he had already thought about that, and he didn’t care.
“Princess, I’d gladly live in a roach-infested shithole apartment, as long as I’m with you. But only if you really wanted me there with you.”
“Johnny, if I do go to New York, of course I want you to be with me. I love you!”
Johnny looked immensely relieved. He grinned, then pulled me close and kissed me. “You say the word and we’ll start making plans.”
I drew in a breath and nodded. “Okay. Wow. Good to know.”
Excitement bubbled in my stomach. This New York thing could really happen. And soon. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of Johnny’s heartbeat and dreaming of the future.
Chapter 22
Rosemary texted Ryan to ask him to meet up with me, and after a little coaxing, he agreed. Well, Rosemary said it took a little coaxing, but she probably threatened his life if he didn’t go. I sat at the bar nursing a beer, waiting for him to show up. I wasn’t looking forward to hanging out with the guy, but I knew how important Ryan was to Rosemary, and I wanted to try to get along with him. She had such a look of affection in her eyes when she told me how they met and what a good a friend he was. Ryan always looked at her the same way, and now that I understood he wasn’t trying to fuck her, I had no reason to be his enemy. Besides, he obviously had Rosemary’s best interests at heart. He loved her and wanted to protect her. I respected that. I’d hate me too, if I were him.
“Hey,” came Ryan’s voice from behind me.
“Hey,” I said, feeling awkward already. I knew it was shitty of me, but it felt weird to be sitting at a bar alone with a gay guy. I’d never really known anybody who was gay before. At least, not that I knew of. I glanced up at the bartender and he walked over to us. “Put his stuff on my tab.”
“You got it,” the bartender said, then he looked to Ryan for his order.
“Ah, I’ll take a Sam Adams Summer Ale.” The bartender nodded, then went to get his drink.
“Thanks,” Ryan said to me. He didn’t smile, but he seemed less hateful than before. I was pretty sure Rosemary demanded that he be nice to me.
I took a sip of my beer, stalling until the bartender came back with Ryan’s drink. When it arrived, it was time to get down to business.
“Look, I know you and I kinda got off the wrong foot and well, for Rosemary’s sake…”
Ryan nodded and took a swig of beer. “Yeah, I hear ya.”
“It was mainly my fault, dude,” I said, offering an olive branch.
“Naw, it really wasn’t,” Ryan said, and for the first time I saw a hint of remorse. Yeah, he had a right to be pissed at me, but he had been a total dick to me from day one. He’d never really given me a chance. I think he realized that, which made me feel better. I decided to go for it and tell him the truth.
“Thing is,” I began. I took a gulp of beer before continuing. “Until yesterday, when Rosemary happened to mention it …” I turned to look at Ryan with a goofy grin. “Dude, I had no idea you were gay.”
Ryan’s eyes opened wide, and he slowly set down his beer mug. “You serious?”
I chuckled. “Yep.”
“Holy shit,” he said, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. Rosemary had had the same look on her face yesterday when she thought about the times she had been cozy with Ryan right in front of me. “So, all this time you thought I was some creep hanging all over your girlfriend?”
I laughed again. “Yeah, I sure did.”
Ryan laughed heartily, and the ice between us melted.
“Like last night after rehearsal when you kissed her on the cheek right in front of me
? I thought that was nothing but a big ‘fuck you.’”
Ryan laughed harder and shook his head. “Oh, shit. Shit, dude, I figured she would have told you by now.”
“And she somehow figured I already knew.”
I was feeling more relaxed by the minute. I knew Rosemary would be happy when she heard about it later. From both of us.
“I get why you hated me, man. I do. I treated Rosemary like shit when I was her boss. I guarantee you, every horrible story you ever heard about me was true. I feel bad about it, but I can’t change it.”
Ryan nodded.
I chuckled and said, “God, I’m such a fuckin’ idiot. I can’t believe all this time I thought we were fighting over Rosemary.”
“Well, I guess in a way you weren’t that far off. Rosemary’s my go-to girl. I miss Jack so bad when he’s far away, and Rosemary’s always up to grab a drink or go to a movie or whatever while he’s gone. I love hangin’ out with her. She’s always there for me when I need her, but she needs space when she’s got a boyfriend and I get that.”
I nodded. I appreciated that he was being honest, but the idea of Rosemary having other boyfriends made me nuts. I couldn’t help it.
“Look, I may have had plenty of legit reasons to hate you at first because of how you used to treat her, but the truth is I let it go on way too long. Rosemary’s soft-hearted, but she’s not stupid and she’s not naive. If she says she can trust you, she can trust you. You’ve proved fifty ways that you’ve changed, so … I’m sorry I gave you so much shit.”
“Thanks, man,” I said with a smile. It was never easy to admit to being wrong, but we’d both done it tonight. I considered that the end of it, and I was ready to move forward. Turned out he felt the same way.
Ryan grinned at me over his beer and said, “Did you really do her on the kitchen table?”
I burst out laughing, surprised and quite pleased at the question. “She told you about that?”
“Hell, yeah. She tells me pretty much everything.”
I nodded, thrilled that Rosemary had told Ryan about our exciting sex life. “Yep. On the kitchen table, on the kitchen counter, and …”
“And what?” Ryan said, his eyes lighting up. It was funny how easy it was to forget Ryan was gay. He was just like any other guy I’d ever known who loved talking about sex.
“Last night when you guys all left after rehearsal …”
“Shut the fuck up!” Ryan said, looking fascinated.
“Yup. Right there in the middle of the stage,” I told him proudly.
Ryan chuckled, looking impressed. “Way to go, man!”
We clinked our beer mugs and each took a swig. A toast to onstage sex. It was pretty cool that he was okay with me talking about banging his best friend. I’d been a little afraid that he thought of her like a little sister or something, but I could see that it wasn’t like that. Ryan and Rosemary were like any other best friends; they talked and laughed and shared everything.
“Don’t, you know, tell any of the other theater guys about it though,” I said, feeling slightly guilty for bragging about my private sex life with Rosemary. “I’m only tellin’ you because I figure she’ll tell you anyway.”
“Yeah, she probably will,” he said with a grin. “Gotta say, I’m glad to hear you’re treating her right. She’s dated some really nice guys, but they were all, shall we say, a bit lackluster in the bedroom.”
I grinned, suddenly feeling a lot better about Rosemary’s prior love life. I would never forget our first time together, when she looked at me with those gorgeous green eyes and said, “I’ve never come that hard before in my life.”
“Well, I better head out,” Ryan said as he drained his mug. “Early day tomorrow. Thanks for the beer.”
“No problem. And hey, for what it’s worth, it’s cool with me if you and Rosemary wanna hang out sometimes. Just the two of you. Now that I know you’re not trying to get into her pants.”
Ryan laughed. “Thanks. I do miss her. It’s only fair, though. When Jack’s home on leave we barely leave the bedroom for days. I don’t get to see her then, so I guess this is payback.”
I laughed, surprised that I wasn’t uncomfortable with Ryan talking about gay sex. Or, as gays call it, “sex.” Ryan loved Jack and he was hot for him, the same way I was for Rosemary. It was that simple.
“Oh, and speaking of hanging out,” Ryan said, digging through his wallet. “Here, you really ought to take this.”
He handed me his ticket for Something Rotten! “No way! This was her birthday gift. You should go with her.”
“Nah, you two should go,” Ryan said. “Really. I’ve been to tons of shows with her but you haven’t been to any yet. I know she’d love to go with you. Theater’s really important to her, and I know she’d love to share this with you.”
“That’s really cool of you, man. I appreciate it.”
Ryan nodded, then got down from his bar stool. Before he turned to go, he said, “You know, you’re the only guy she’s ever dated who seems to understand how much theater means to her. All the other guys treated it like it was some silly hobby of hers.”
“No way! She’s so fuckin’ talented, man. And she’s so passionate about it. That’s one of the things I love most about her.”
Ryan smiled and said, “Me too.” He clapped me on the back. “See ya ‘round.”
I turned back around on my barstool to finish my beer, feeling relaxed and calm. Yeah. Ryan and I were definitely on the same side.
*****
Rosemary was overjoyed that Ryan and I were getting along, and I loved seeing her so happy. When she and Ryan went to the movies, I usually stayed home. I was bored out of my mind, but the small sacrifice was worth it to make Rosemary happy.
Tonight, we were all at the karaoke bar. I was excited but nervous, because I had learned a new song to sing for Rosemary. I still sang to her privately sometimes, and of course she was always singing at home, which I loved. I hadn’t sung publicly for her since I performed “Falling Slowly” at her apartment in front of her friends. That had gone over pretty damned well, considering we wound up in bed together. I knew how much she loved it when I sang to her, and I wanted to do again. I couldn’t buy her anything fancy, or take care of her the way I wanted to, but I could still make her smile—or even cry—when I sang to her.
I got up from the table where we were all drinking together. “Don’t move a muscle, baby. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” Rosemary said with a suspicious smile. She knew I was up to something.
I walked up to the stage at the front of the bar. I wasn’t quite as nervous as I was the first time Rosemary had made me sing, but it was close. The guy running the karaoke machine grinned at me and nodded. We’d worked it out in advance, because I’d had to make sure he had the music for my song. I had brought in my guitar and left it up front before Rosemary got there.
“Ooookay, next up we have a man by the name of Johnny Creel!” the guy announced. He didn’t usually announce the names of people who were singing, but I was semi-famous, and I think he got a kick out of that. There was some laughter from the crowd, from the people who knew who I was and knew I hung out here regularly. “He has a song he wants to dedicate to the woman he luuuuurves …”
I chuckled. The guy sounded like a bad radio host announcing the evening’s dedications. Whatever. I saw Rosemary laughing, and that was all that mattered. She and her friends turned toward the stage, looking amused. It felt good to look out at their friendly faces, which now included Ryan. He was shaking his head and laughing.
The guy started up the karaoke machine, but as I’d requested, he played it at a lower level so people could hear my guitar. The song I had chosen was “Danny’s Song,” by Loggins and Messina. Showtunes were okay, but folksy singer-songwriter-type songs were my favorite, and I figured this was a good one to serenade Rosemary with.
I started singing and looked up for Rosemary’s reaction. Her sweet smile lit up her wh
ole face, and she got up from the table and walked closer to the stage so she could see me better. I locked eyes with her and smiled as I sang. I winked at her when I got to the line about how we “ain’t got money,” and she laughed warmly. People turned to see who I was looking at, and soon everyone knew I was singing to the pretty, red-haired girl with the green eyes. The one with her arms wrapped around herself, trying not to cry.
We gazed into each other’s eyes, and I swore I could physically feel her love. “Danny’s Song” was all about falling in love and starting a family, and it was at that exact moment it hit me. The instant I knew that I would marry her. We would have children someday, and Rosemary would sing showtunes to them like she said she would. I would tell our kids how I was their mom’s boss and was too stupid to know she was so much more than a pretty face. I’d tell them how I lost all my money and gained everything in return. How one night I played guitar and sang to her, and realized that someday I would make her my bride.
I choked up a bit when I got to the line about a girl that shares my name. Rosemary Creel. It sounded so wonderful.
Upon hearing my voice crack with emotion, Rosemary’s hand flew to her mouth and tears spilled down her cheeks. She felt the connection, too. It was the most joyful moment in my entire life.
And I wouldn’t have traded it for all the money in the world.
I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as I sang the line about a tear of joy in my eye, as I was trying not to lose it, and Rosemary was practically sobbing.
People applauded wildly when I finished my song. I put down my guitar and walked over to Rosemary and engulfed her in a big hug. We held each other for a moment, not saying anything.
Rosemary eventually led me back to the table with her friends. She sat down on my lap and snuggled up close to me. It felt so good to have her in my arms; holding her like this reminded me of the way I held her in my lap after we had sex on the stage.
As Ryan walked around behind us on his way to the restroom, he leaned down and murmured, “Somebody’s getting laid big time tonight.”
Losing His Shirt Page 20