by Debbie Mason
“Around six or seven weeks, I think.”
Sawyer choked and pounded his chest with a fist. At Jack’s raised eyebrow, he rasped, “Went down the wrong hole. Go on.”
“You sure you’re okay? You look kinda pale.”
Sawyer fake coughed. “Think I’m coming down with something.”
Jack moved back a bit. “No offense, but if it’s contagious, I don’t want to pass it on to my wife. Anyway, I overheard Grace on the phone with Jill, and now she’s giving me the it’s not my story to tell crap. And Jill’s not answering her…Wait a minute. We were at the wedding six weeks ago. Jill dated Jake…and Matt about a week before we left for Virginia. I’d put my money on Jake. The doc would at least know to suit up.” He made a face, no doubt at the thought of his sister having sex, then tossed back another shot.
Sawyer grimaced. Though not for the same reason as Jack. Sawyer didn’t want to think of Jill having sex with anyone but him. But he knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t have sex with any random guy. She sure as hell wouldn’t jump in the sack with Jake after two dates. And her date with Matt was a non-starter. So that meant…he was Jill’s baby daddy.
Sawyer was in the process of tossing back another shot when Jack muttered, “This is all on you, dickhead.”
Sawyer choked, spewing tequila across the bar.
While he attempted to get his coughing under control, because this time the alcohol really had gone down the wrong hole, Jack leaned across the bar to grab a towel. Eyeing Sawyer as he wiped it down, he said, “You know what? We’re taking you to the doc to see about your cough. Once we get Matt in the examination room, we’ll find out if it was him. If it was, we’ll beat the crap out of him. If it wasn’t, we’ll head to Jake’s garage. And if it’s not him, we’ll—”
Sawyer wasn’t letting his best friend run around Christmas half-cocked, interrogating every man in town. Jill didn’t deserve to become fodder for the town’s gossip mill. At least not until she was prepared for it. It was time for Sawyer to man up. “It was me,” he rasped, not totally recovered from his coughing fit.
“No kidding. If you hadn’t come up with the brilliant idea of us matchmaking for Jill, I never would have set her up with—”
Sawyer glanced around at tables that were steadily filling up with the after-work crowd. He leaned across the bar and lowered his voice, “No, I’m pretty sure it’s me who got Jill pregnant.”
“My baby sister Jill? You’re telling me you slept with my sister?” he roared.
“Would you lower your damn voice? I didn’t mean for it to happen, Jack. We got carried away when you were at the wedding. But I’ll make it right. I’ll—”
Jack stared at him. His nostrils flared, his blue eyes shooting fire, but he wasn’t yelling, and Sawyer made the mistake of thinking they could talk reasonably, like adults, like the longtime friends they were.
“She was upset, Jack. I was comforting her and then…”
“You had sex, in my house, with my baby sister.” He dragged out each word, his voice rising on each one until he shouted the last two.
The customers were staring now and so were his servers. “Look, let’s go to my office and we’ll—”
“And what? Talk about how you, a man who I trusted to take care of my baby sister, got her pregnant?” he yelled, then launched himself across the bar.
* * *
How could something the size of a pea turn your life upside down so completely? And it would only get worse once everyone found out she was pregnant. Pregnant. Her. She was pregnant. There was a baby growing inside her. It still hadn’t sunk in. She’d been walking around in a fog since finding out last night. She’d sworn Grace to secrecy. She trusted her best friend to keep her secret for as long as Jill needed her to. She looked down at her stomach. If she was lucky, she had a couple of months to figure everything out. Her heart pounded a nervous beat, and she turned onto the back road. When she reached Lookout Point, she shut off the engine and slumped in the seat.
Her brother would lose it. Her brother? What about the baby’s daddy? Sawyer was the one who had every right to go batshit crazy when he found out the consequences of their one-night stand. But he wouldn’t. He was too nice of a guy to make her feel bad for messing up her damn pills. She’d missed two, and she didn’t even know when she had, that’s how irresponsible she’d been. Swept away on a storm of lust, she’d been unable to think clearly. Of course the fact she was in love with the man didn’t help.
A man who thought it was his duty to save and protect single mothers everywhere. She rested her forehead on the steering wheel. And she was carrying his baby. It was going to get bad. She could feel it. With Sawyer’s single-mommy issues, she wouldn’t put it past him to tell her he loved her. She could even see him go so far as convincing himself that he did to ensure his child had the kind of family he’d always wanted. At least she knew him as well as she did and wouldn’t make the situation worse by buying it. Because, feeling about him like she did, it would be easy to do.
Panic closed her airways, and her stomach heaved. She threw off her seat belt and shoved open the door, jumping from the car. Afraid she was going to be sick, she bent over and placed her palms on her knees. She breathed deeply through her nose as she waited for the feeling to pass. It wasn’t morning or afternoon sickness; it was sheer, unadulterated panic.
She’d experienced the same symptoms when she got out of bed in the middle of the night to make a list of all that she had to do to prepare for the baby. She straightened and started to pace as she thought about each item on the two-page list. A little more than seven months, she reminded herself—lots of time.
She stopped pacing and breathed in the early September air. The sweet, spicy scent of decaying leaves and a hint of wood smoke filled her nose. She loved this time of year. From where she stood, she could see over the tops of the evergreens and yellow-leafed aspen trees to the small town below. The purplish haze of the Rockies surrounded the pastel-colored homes and shops.
She thought of how many of the inhabitants from those homes and shops had come out the day little Jack went missing. It was a good town with good people. A good place to raise her child. An extended family. And her own would be there for her, too. She knew that. They’d help out as much as she’d let them. So would Sawyer. He’d be an amazing father. Her child couldn’t ask for better. They’d figure out the co-parenting thing. Make it work.
She placed a hand over her stomach and made her child a promise. She promised to be a better mother than hers had been. She’d protect her child like a parent was supposed to. They’d never feel invisible or worry whether they’d have something to eat or whether their mother would get out of bed that day, that week. And then one day she didn’t get up. She’d abandoned them to her sixty-eight-year old mother who didn’t want to deal with a little boy and girl.
Jill shook off the maudlin thoughts and got back in the cruiser, wrapping herself in the calm that had come over her before she took the trip down memory lane. A call came through the Bluetooth as soon as she turned on the patrol car. It was Suze. Someone else who would be there for Jill over the next few months…and years.
Before Jill had a chance to say hey, Suze started in on her. “Why are you not answering your cell phone? Never mind, I have a pretty good idea why since everyone’s trying to get hold of you. But what I don’t understand is why you didn’t share the biggest news to hit Christmas, in like forever, with your best friend.”
The only news Jill could think of was her own. And it sounded like everyone knew. Where was her phone? She searched the passenger seat, the floor, and the backseat. It wasn’t there. She already had pregnancy brain and had forgotten it at home. She probably shouldn’t be driving or carrying a gun.
“Hello. Are you there, baby mama? And even though I’m mad at you, I commend your taste in baby daddies, but boy oh boy, girlfriend, do you have a lot to make up to me. You didn’t even tell me you were sleeping with Sawyer. The man of yo
ur dreams. The—”
“Oh my God, Suze, stop. This is serious. I just found out last night. How in the hell is this already all over town? Grace was the only one who knew, and she wouldn’t tell. Did someone see me buying the—”
“I like Grace. I really do. But face it, that woman would not keep a secret from her husband.”
Jill rubbed her back against the seat. “My brother knows?”
“Yep, he stormed in here looking for you. Said he’d left you ten messages and you weren’t responding.”
“Call him and say I’m undercover on a case…for the next month,” Jill said, scratching her neck.
“Now that might work on your brother, but the man you were playing with under the covers came looking for you, too. He says he left you twenty messages. And so you don’t get upset when you see him, ’cause that’s not good for the baby, he’s sporting a fat lip and bruised cheek courtesy of your brother. It’s all over Facebook.”
While Jill headed for home and her phone, she gave Suze the details because she threatened to keep calling her until she did. After answering her embarrassing questions and getting lectured on safe sex, Jill got the condensed version of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. She made a mental note not to buy the book.
“Thanks, Suze. Sorry I didn’t let you know, well, about everything. You’re my go-to girl from now on. I’m at my place. I’ll have my radio on, but I’m going to swing by my brother’s.”
“Take your time. It’s quiet out there tonight. I expect a full report, though. Next day off, we’ll head into Denver for some baby shopping.” She heard the tapping of keys. “Oh my God, you should see…Never mind, I’m going to make a baby Flaherty board on my Pinterest page. You can check it out later.”
It was, she knew, useless to argue with Suze. Jill also ignored the small pang of irrational disappointment that Suze didn’t plan on calling it the baby Anderson board. That was useless, too.
Jill ran up the stairs to her apartment and grabbed her phone from where she’d left it beside her list. While heading back to the cruiser, she thumbed through her messages. Suze wasn’t exaggerating. Jill had at least fifty messages waiting for her. Grace had sent her ten apologies with an explanation of how Jack found out.
Her brother’s Flaherty temper was alive and well in his texts: What the hell were you thinking? Who is the father? Where the hell are you? Pick up your damn phone! The rest were more of the same, except for the last one: Stay away from Anderson. I don’t want you anywhere near the asshole. I mean it. Call me.
She briefly closed her eyes. Sawyer had been right. Because of her, his and Jack’s twenty-two-year friendship was over.
But Sawyer didn’t mention anything about her brother in his texts. He didn’t rant or yell at her like Jack. All he wanted was to give her a heads-up that the baby news had gone viral, make sure she was okay, and apologize for not taking better care of her. The last five texts from him got a little more frantic. No doubt afraid she’d had a breakdown at the news.
She slid behind the wheel, taking a moment before responding to him. Tonight was his hockey team’s first exhibition game of the season, so she sent him a text instead of calling. He’d be behind the bench by now. Her one lucky break of the day. She’d put off talking to him for as long as she could. Sorry. Left my phone at home. Really sorry Jack acted like a jerk. I’m working. Talk tomorrow.
She shut off her phone. Now to deal with the jerk.
Jill walked into the purple Victorian without knocking and strode to the kitchen. Grace was setting the table with little Jack’s help. Her nephew spotted her first. “Auntie J, you come to play?”
“Sorry, buddy. Auntie’s working. I need a word with your daddy.” Dickhead daddy is what she really wanted to say.
“Here honey, you put the napkins out for Mommy, okay?” Grace handed them to little Jack then came to Jill. She gave her a hug. “I am so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t realize he was going to be home early from work,” she said for Jill’s ears alone.
“I’m not mad. At least not at you. Where is he?”
“Out back barbecuing. Probably taking his anger out on the poor chicken.”
“Little late for you guys to be eating, isn’t it?”
“He ran downtown, then ran back home.”
“That didn’t work very well, did it?” Her brother ran to stay in shape, but he also ran when he was angry or upset. “He gave Sawyer a fat lip and a bruised cheek.”
Before Grace could respond, though her wince said it all, a little voice asked, “What’s wrong with Uncle Sawyer’s yip?”
She looked down at her nephew. “You have big ears. And you’re sneaky, too.”
“Jill, don’t be too hard on your brother. He—”
She raised her hand. “Don’t defend him. And do me a favor, both of you stay inside. Close the windows, too.”
Jack looked over his shoulder when the screen door banged closed behind Jill. He slammed the barbeque lid shut. “I’ve been trying to reach you for the past four hours. Where the hell have you been?”
“Was that before or after you beat up Sawyer?” She crossed her arms and shook her head. “I’m twenty-nine, and this is not the dark ages. I do not need you to defend my honor. I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself. And in case you forgot, it takes two to make a baby. Sawyer—”
“Do not defend him. He took advantage of you and my friendship.”
“He didn’t take advantage of me, Jack. I wanted—”
“Really, Jill? You think I want to hear about you and… What the hell were you thinking? The guy’s a total player. A man ho. For chrissakes, he was in love with my wife. He—”
“You don’t believe that. If you did, you would have cut him loose long before this. He took care of them while you were missing. Took care of all of us. He’s a good man. He’d do anything for you.”
“Sure he would. I told him to stay away from you, and what does he do… You know what, I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I want to talk about you.” He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay?”
And there he was, her big brother who’d been protecting her for as long as she could remember. He was the one who’d bandaged her scraped knees, helped her with her homework, made sure she got to school on time. She couldn’t stay mad at him. She knew where his anger was coming from. It had been the two of them against the world. Until they’d moved to Christmas, and then it was three. Her, Jack, and Sawyer.
“A little panicked and overwhelmed, I guess.” She met his eyes. “I want to be a good mom. I’m just not sure I know how.”
He took her in his arms. “You’ve got no worries there, honey. You’ll be a great mom. You’ve already had lots of practice with little Jack.” He leaned back. “And you have us. Grace and I’ve already talked about it. You can move in here until you get on your feet.”
“Jack, you have another baby on the way. I’m not going to—”
“We have the room. You gave up almost two years of your life to be there for my wife and son. Let us do this for you.” He shook his head when she opened her mouth. “Don’t say anything right now. Just think about it. You don’t have to do this alone. We’re here for you.”
“I know you are. And that helps a lot. But no matter how angry at him you are now, Jack, you know Sawyer. He’ll be there for this baby. And me, if I need him.”
He stepped back from her and shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, looking out over the yard. “Doesn’t matter. I can’t forgive him for what he’s done.”
“It was a mistake, an accident. It’s nobody’s fault. It just happened. Don’t ruin your friendship over this.”
He looked at her, his eyes shadowed and a little sad. “I wanted you to have the perfect life. A beautiful one. Like me and Grace. And he stole that from you.”
She pressed her lips together, fighting back a smile. “Did you steal Skye’s rose-colored glasses?”
“What ar
e you talking about?”
“Uh, the time your wife was going to ask you for a divorce?”
“Extenuating circumstances.”
“What about the time she kicked you out of the apartment and you moved in with me?”
He sighed. “Fine. We’ve had our ups and downs. But even then, I knew she was the only woman for me. And I was the only man for her. I want that for you, Jill.”
So did she. But she didn’t think she’d ever be the only woman for the man who was her only guy. “Sheesh, you’re such a romantic. But just because I’m having a baby doesn’t mean I won’t find someone to love.”
“It won’t be as easy. The baby will be your priority. And it’s not as if you’ve had much luck—”
“Stop while you’re ahead. I’m still thinking I have a pretty awesome big brother.”
He grinned and kissed her forehead. “We’ll get through this together, Shortstop. We always do.”
“No more Shortstop, please. I’m going to be a mother.” And for the first time since the stick turned blue, Jill smiled at the thought. “I gotta get back to work.” She reached around him and lifted the barbeque lid. “Looks like you better order in.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jill left her brother’s feeling happier than when she arrived. But as she reached the cruiser, a call came over the radio that there was an altercation at the arena. Suze, unprofessional as always, told the other cars that Jill would take the call. So it looked like she’d be talking to Sawyer tonight after all.
She pulled into the Anderson Arena parking lot. Yep, that’s your daddy, baby. He’s a big shot in town. Though you wouldn’t know it by the way he acts. She laughed at herself as she got out of the cruiser. Her conversation with her child was unexpected. She never thought she’d be the type. But she doubted she’d get as crazy as Skye and rename her baby every month before he or she was born.
As Jill approached the building with its sky-blue siding, she remembered the day the town had renamed the arena in Sawyer’s honor. It was seven years earlier. His mom and Bill had been there busting with pride. Jill had been proud of him, too. He’d donated money to renovate the old arena and add a second ice surface. It was pretty state-of-the-art for a town the size of Christmas.