“You’re okay?” Maddox was suddenly hovering over me, looking so real it hurt. So much better than in my visions that I couldn’t stop staring. Those silver eyes, those firm lips… I wanted to grab him, pull him close and kiss him hard. Instead, I rolled to my side, away from him. The entire room grew silent, watchful. It wasn’t exactly the sort of reunion I’d dreamt of. At the edge of the bed, I sat up, needing a moment.
Maddox was here. Yeah, but how long would he last? Swallowing hard, I steeled my heart, my mind. I had to do this. “We need to get him out of here. Europe would be best.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Maddox rounded the bed, not giving me an inch. His arm was in a sling, his face bruised, his bottom lip split. He looked like hell. It only strengthened my resolve and reminded me of why I had to give him up. I couldn’t last.
I stood, ignoring the dizziness I felt, unsure if it was from the source or Maddox’s nearness. “You need to go into hiding.”
“Bullshit.”
“Look at you!” I yelled, annoyed. Why couldn’t he ever listen to reason? Why did he always have to be so freaking stubborn? “You can’t defend yourself, not against S.P.I. and not against people like us. We might have forgiven you, but other mind readers might not.”
“Forgive?” His eyes narrowed. “I told you—”
“I got it,” I hissed, in no mood to discuss our relationship in front of Lewis, my aunt and Cameron, who were all watching us with obvious interest. My life had turned into a freaking soap opera. That flush in my cheeks turned into a full-blown blush. I couldn’t even control my own body anymore, let alone my feelings.
“Maybe we should leave so you guys can talk for a bit,” Cameron said.
“No, we’ll go outside.” I didn’t wait for him but started across the room, more than eager to escape. To be honest, I didn’t trust myself in a room alone with Maddox, and frankly I didn’t care if he knew the truth. I tore open the door and stepped into the cool night. The fresh air and wide open sky were just what I needed. The motel was pretty much like the one where we’d left Olivia, lacking both customers and apparently cleaning products.
Go easy on him, he’s in love with you. Cameron’s voice whispered through my mind.
I released a wry laugh. Yeah, and just last year he was in love with you.
You and I both know that’s not true. He was never in love with me. In fact, I think he only got close to me because I reminded him of you.
I wasn’t sure if I should be grossed out or amused by that. Enough. Get out of my head.
There was blessed silence after that. She knew when to shut up. I paced down the sidewalk following the hotel wall as Maddox closed the door behind him, and followed me. I could sense his presence almost as if we touched, as if we were somehow connected. Together we strolled far enough away that it felt like we were alone and had some sort of privacy.
“All right,” he said. “Just say it. Whatever asinine comment you’re going to make in order to push me away, just say it.”
Surprised, I spun around, facing him. But as I got my first good look, the denial faded on my lips. Lord, he looked so different under the parking lot light. That chiseled face was hollowed with pain and hunger, his eyes hard flecks of steel. The cold, iron wall around my heart wavered. I knew that look…the look of someone who had been tortured. “Did you get something to eat?”
It wasn’t what I had meant to say. I sure as heck hadn’t meant to sound like it mattered. But it did matter, way, way too much.
He gave me a cocky smile. “Yes, and thank you for caring.”
Lord, even in pain he still knew how to spread on the sex appeal. I crossed my arms over my chest, determined not to fall for his grins. “You wish. I merely don’t want you collapsing on me again. You have a long night of travel ahead of you.”
His smile fell. “I’m not leaving.”
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“Bull. You’re trying to protect yourself.”
I drew back, uncomfortable with this line of conversation. Maybe he was right…just a little bit. But I sure as hell wouldn’t admit it. “You don’t get it, do you? Or maybe you’re just being your normal stubborn self.” I shoved my hands into his chest. Even though he was injured and weak, he didn’t budge. “I obviously can’t protect you.”
Those steel eyes flashed with anger. “I never asked you to.”
I could lie, I could continue this façade of indifference, or for once I could tell the truth. I took in a deep breath. After what he’d gone through, he deserved honesty. “I can’t stand to see you injured… or worse.”
He blinked, surprised. Then wonder of all wonders, his face actually softened. “A week ago you would have hanged me yourself.”
I shrugged and looked at the cracked pavement, feeling odd. Almost…ashamed. He wasn’t going to make this easy. “I never wanted to truly hurt you. Believe me, if I wanted you dead, I could have seen it done.”
He reached out, tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing down my jaw line. “Such sweet words.”
I glanced up at him through my lashes, more than exasperated. “You don’t get it.”
He dropped his uninjured arm to my waist, pulling me forward until I was snuggled against his muscled body. “I get it, Nora. I get it.”
He understood; I could see it in his eyes. For a moment I merely dared to rest against him, savoring the reassuring beat of his heart. He felt good, so good. And being in his arms was right. So damn right. “We can’t do this, not again.”
He ignored me, leaning down and capturing my lips. It was heaven. Pure, heated bliss. I sank into him, the pressure of his mouth my undoing. It was just like our first kiss in that locker room years ago. When he leaned back against the wall I followed, curving into his body. Broken and battered, it didn’t matter that he was human, he still made me feel like we were beyond this mortal world. Everything felt right again, my life was back on course.
Yeah, my body remembered him, craved him actually. But my rational mind revolted. Dredging up what little self-control I retained, I settled my hands on his hard chest and started to push back. “How can I trust you?”
“Nora,” he said breathlessly. “Everything I did was for you.”
No. No. No. I shook my head. This wasn’t right. I couldn’t jump blindly into a relationship again, not knowing if he would abandon me again. “I’ve spent years hating you, not trusting. You can’t expect me to change my feelings just like that.”
With his uninjured hand, he cupped the side of my face, his touch gentle and kind. “I’ll wait however long it takes to prove I’m not the man you thought I was.”
I couldn’t think when he touched me. Annoyed, I stepped back. I wouldn’t rush into a relationship again without thought, couldn’t give my heart fully until I was sure. We had to take it slow, if we took it anywhere at all. “No.”
He latched onto my arm, preventing me from escaping. “Ohio.”
Confused, I actually paused. “What?”
“We need to go to Ohio.”
Yeah, I was suspicious. “Why?”
“Because the answer you want, the proof you need, is there. Everything you could ever want to know about S.P.I. About me.”
His words made no sense. More unanswered questions, more confusing puzzles. I jerked away from him. Sure, I’d just hop in a car and drive to Ohio with him, no big deal. “Just leave me alone. Please, just let me think.”
“Nora, we don’t have time to wait for you to admit you still love me.” He stepped closer, his shadow falling over me. “How about you just admit the truth now and save us the time?”
“How about you give me a damn moment?” I didn’t wait for his response, but shoved past him and headed toward the empty field next to the motel. A million questions were swirling through my mind, none of which I was ready to answer. How could I trust him? Olivia had been a trap. What if Maddox was as well? What if he still worked with S.P.I.?
I paused
in the middle of the field, comforted by the seclusion and darkness that surrounded me, the stars that twinkled above. What did he expect from me anyway? To immediately jump into his arms, all forgiven? I bent down, picking up a rock that glistened under the moonlight.
“Nora?” Maybe she’d sensed my turmoil, or maybe Maddox had returned to the motel and told her I was upset, but suddenly Cameron was beside me. “What’s wrong?”
I stood and threw the rock, finding satisfaction when it hit a glass bottle, shattering it. “I can’t forgive him.”
“Why?”
I turned to face her. “Because…because then I have no one else to blame but me!”
Okay, I hadn’t meant that. What had I meant?
Cameron sighed. “You can’t hold onto this guilt, this bitterness, this anger. It will do nothing but destroy your life. Believe me, I know from personal experience.”
“Maybe it should destroy me. Maybe I deserve it.” I raked my hair from my face and paced the field, my boots crushing the wildflowers that peppered the weeds. The dizziness had fled, but my body felt tight, itchy, not my own. “Maybe it’s my fault that dad found out about us. That dad found you. That Mom is dead. If I hadn’t fallen for Maddox, maybe none of this would have happened.”
“Or maybe it’s Mom’s fault for trusting people she shouldn’t have. Or maybe it’s your dad’s for being an ass. Or maybe Aunt Lyndsey’s for bringing S.P.I. to Savannah. We could go any way with this. There are lots of stories we could tell here, Nora. But how do you want your story to end? As the bitter victim or the heroine who persevered after all the crap that happened to her?”
I glanced back at the motel, where only the weak light from our room and the office managed to push away at the night. They were there, everyone I loved. They weren’t many, but they were strong, brave. But could I trust them?
“I don’t get it,” Cameron said. “You know he didn’t betray you, so why are you still resisting?”
“Do I know he didn’t?” Frustrated, I started toward the parking lot, needing to move, to get away from Cameron and her unanswerable questions. “I mean, who the hell knows who we can trust. I thought I could trust Maddox when I first fell in love with him. I sure as hell thought I could trust Father Myron.”
Cameron was quiet as she followed. Too quiet. Unwillingly, I slowed my steps, knowing she would have something to say. Too damn curious. “What?”
“It’s not him, is it?”
Startled, I turned around to face her. We paused underneath the same light where Maddox and I had just kissed. “It’s not that you don’t trust him.”
I released a wry laugh. “Of course it is, I can’t—”
“It’s you.” She took my hand, and even though I wanted to pull away, I didn’t. For some insane reason, I actually stood there and listened to her philosophical crap. “You don’t trust yourself, do you? You think if something happens, if he betrays you, or he dies, you won’t be able to handle it.”
The denial died in my throat, refusing to go past my lips. Her words hit me hard, like a punch to the chest. Made me cold, terrified because they were true.
“Nora, people survive terrible things every day, and some even manage to be happy again. In fact, you’ve gone through some terrible things, and you have survived. You are much, much tougher than you realize. Trust yourself. Trust that you can handle this.”
I wanted to deny her accusations. I wanted to tell her that I was a warrior, I was born tough. Instead, I glanced toward the window once more. I loved Maddox. I always had. But if he betrayed me, if tomorrow he was gone, could I go on?
I released the air I hadn’t even realized I held and relaxed my shoulders. My mom had raised a warrior. I could survive on my own if I had to. But fortunately, I didn’t have to be alone…not anymore. I had friends. I had an aunt. I had a sister.
“Come on.” I slid my arm around Cameron’s shoulder and started toward the motel. “We’re leaving early in the morning.”
Cameron smiled. “Yeah? Where we going?”
I sighed. “Apparently, Ohio.”
Chapter 10
The next day we headed through a neighborhood in the heart of Cincinnati that made the motel we’d stayed at last night look like a five-star resort.
Lewis drove, while Cameron sat in the front seat next to him. Aunt Lyndsey sat in the back between Maddox and me, acting as our own little chaperone. Yep, we were one big happy family. It might have been awkward if he hadn’t been dozing the entire drive, his body so weak he could barely stay awake. I could admit my worry flared every time he closed his eyes. Would he open them again? Maybe he was injured worse than he had let on. With every worry, I’d grow annoyed with myself for caring. Hell, I’d never cared before, but that was what love did to you…made you weak.
As we entered Ohio, it was as if Maddox’s sixth-sense kicked in. Instantly, he was alert, those thick lashes lifting. He didn’t say a word, merely watched the streets like a hawk watching a field for a mouse. What he was looking for, I wasn’t sure, but I felt better just knowing he was awake.
“Almost there,” he finally muttered.
The streets became seedier, and we all grew more wary. S.P.I. wasn’t here, but there was a new threat. Fortunately, we could handle the riffraff hanging out on the street corners, as they didn’t have chips in their heads to block their nefarious thoughts.
“You sure this is the right place?” my aunt asked. The doubt in her voice was obvious. She didn’t trust Maddox. Frankly, she wasn’t the only one who wondered what the hell he was up to.
As if sensing my unease, Maddox met my gaze, those eyes daring me to question him. Confused by my emotions, I turned away and looked out the window. It was quiet, children still in school, parents still working. Only a few people sat on stoops; the rain was too thick and drove most people inside.
“Yeah, it’s the right place,” Maddox finally replied. “Although I can’t guarantee he’s still here.”
Lewis parked the car alongside the curb. Maddox was the first to step out, followed by Cameron. When I finally managed to make it to the sidewalk, Maddox was waiting impatiently. He might have said he would wait forever for me to give my heart and trust him fully, but I could see the flicker of annoyance in his eyes. Maddox was used to getting what he wanted when he wanted it, and my resistance irked him. I hid my grin. If anything, the waiting would do him good.
Money, I heard the thought coming from the guy lurking near the alley. He was wondering if that handgun he had tucked in the pocket of his jeans would be enough to dissuade us from fighting back when he robbed our little group.
I wasn’t the only one to hear his threatening thoughts.
Lewis sighed and started toward the alley. “I’ll keep our friend occupied.”
Cameron went after him; she wasn’t about to leave her boyfriend unprotected. “I’ll help.”
As we moved down the sidewalk toward a set of rickety brick duplexes, I couldn’t help but notice how slowly and purposefully Maddox walked. He was injured and in pain, favoring his left foot. Was the right fractured, or just sprained? And that arm was still in a sling. A torn ligament, Cameron had muttered to me earlier. But he had refused to go to a hospital, claiming we didn’t have time, and he didn’t want to draw attention to the extent of his injuries. When Cameron had suggested we heal him, he’d looked appalled. Always the tough soldier, he wanted no one’s help. I fell into step beside him. In case he stumbled, I’d be there.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said softly. “And I’m fine.”
I flushed and looked toward the skyscrapers in the distance, hazy through the rain. We’d barely spoken since the rescue, both of us too deep in thought and emotions we didn’t know how to handle. But I knew when this was all over Maddox wasn’t simply going to let our relationship rest. He’d want answers, and I wasn’t sure what I would say. Could we possibly have a normal life?
“Which place is it?” Aunt Lyndsey asked.
“This
one.” He nodded toward a red brick building. A sheet hung across the window and the trash can out front was overflowing with beer cans and pizza boxes. Lovely. Apparently, Maddox’s friend was a big winner.
I slid him a glance. “Seriously?”
He shrugged, using the railing as support as he started up the steps. “Man’s a genius. I promise whatever cockroaches we have to fight off will be worth it.”
“Who is this guy?” Aunt Lyndsey asked, following Maddox.
I glanced around the neighborhood. I didn’t trust this situation; it was too easy. Surely S.P.I. had agents ready to jump out of the trashcans or leap with parachutes from the rooftops. We’d managed to drive from Virginia to Ohio without incident; it was like a new world record or something.
“He’s a friend. I’ve known him for years.”
I moved up the cracked cement steps as Maddox pounded on the door. A dog in the house next door started barking. A flicker of curtains, curious thoughts floating from the neighbors. We were definitely being watched.
Who are they? He never gets visitors.
Never received visitors? My wariness grew. Who the hell was this guy? I turned my attention to Maddox a glance. And what the hell was he getting us involved in?
The T-shirt he wore was slightly too tight, showing off his muscled chest, not that I was complaining. But he was injured and exhausted, and anyone—even the children who would be swarming this street in an hour or so—would be able to tell that Maddox wouldn’t hold up very long in a fight.
When Aunt Lyndsey had questioned him about the supposed information that would change everything, he had refused to give details. Yeah, he was stubborn, but I knew the real reason: Maddox was smart. We might not trust him, but he obviously didn’t trust us either, and he wasn’t about to show all his cards at once. He needed a safety net.
“Might not be there,” Maddox muttered after a few moments of silence.
“He’s there,” my aunt said. “I can hear his thoughts.”
I stiffened, surprised. I heard no one but the neighbors.
“He’s good.” She glanced at Maddox. “You teach him to hide his thoughts?”
The Mind Keepers (The Mind Readers) Page 11