It bothered him to see her like this, so upset over a body she couldn’t command. He knelt down and laid her inside the shelter, sitting beside her. She leaned back against him, and admitted, ‘If I had the choice of two final days of life without pain or two years of this suffering, I would take the two days.’
Raine lay beside her, and she rested her cheek against his chest. He brushed away the tears, unable to do anything except hold her. Though he’d known she was suffering, he’d never seen her this sick. It suddenly made him aware that he was bringing her towards a greater danger. He’d reasoned that there would be no harm for she was never going to wed the Ard-Righ. Now he realised that she might not survive the journey across Ireland. She believed he was bringing her to spend her final days with her mother’s family.
Her eyes remained closed, her mouth tight with pain. ‘Only a few weeks ago, I thought of taking a potion to end my life. I suppose that makes me damned in the eyes of Heaven, doesn’t it?’
He tightened his arms around her. ‘Don’t ever do such a thing, Carice.’
Her face held weariness. ‘If I had been brought to the High King, I would have done anything to escape him.’
The guilt threaded through him even tighter, binding him towards self-loathing. ‘You will never wed him. I promise you that.’ At least this was one vow he could keep. ‘Would you like me to bring you water?’
‘No.’ Her voice came out in a whisper, and she leaned her head against the earth. ‘Just lie with me a little while. And maybe I won’t feel so alone.’
Raine pulled her into his arms, stroking back her hair. It had been too easy to forget her illness over the past few days. He despised himself for endangering her in this way.
‘Promise me something,’ she ventured softly.
‘What is it?’
‘If I ask it of you, will you leave me behind?’
He started to refuse, but she rolled over to face him. ‘Raine, I don’t want you to watch me die. I want you to remember me in another way. Mayhap the way we were yesterday, when you let me race you on the ice.’ Her blue eyes stared into his with regret, and she reached up to touch his cheek. ‘Be my friend and allow me that mercy.’
‘No.’ He would never leave her behind to die. ‘That, I will not do.’
‘Stubborn man,’ she whispered. ‘Why not?’
‘Because I had to leave my sisters, and it was not my choice. They were helpless, and are now prisoners of the king. I won’t turn my back on a woman again.’ His voice came out sharper than he’d intended, but he would never abandon her. It struck him hard to realise that he would miss her, too. This fragile woman had somehow entwined herself within him.
‘Then...if I do not survive the rest of this journey, promise me that you’ll stay until I breathe my last breath.’
He didn’t even want to imagine it. ‘You won’t die alone,’ was all he could manage.
She smiled then and kept her hand upon his cheek. ‘I will always be grateful that you saved me from a marriage to Rory Ó Connor.’
Her palm was a brand upon his blackened soul. ‘I am sorry,’ he said. Sorry for what he had done and for what he still had to do. But she misunderstood him, believing he was apologising because of her illness.
‘Don’t be.’ She let her fingers trail down his arm. ‘I have enjoyed these days with you. I am glad you changed your mind about escorting me to the west. I only hope I can finish the journey.’
Her words humbled him, yet the idea of this woman dying was a blow he didn’t want to face. Her smile, her passion—she captivated him in a way no woman ever had. If she died, he would mourn the loss of her.
Instead, he held her tightly and tried not to think of it.
Chapter Seven
Carice awakened, feeling warm and beloved. She was lying in Raine’s arms, and it gave her a sense of peace. I don’t want him to go, she thought. But, of course, that wasn’t realistic. He had to return to his commander, and after that, she wouldn’t see him again. The emptiness at that knowledge struck her hard. She had grown accustomed to having him at her side, and it had driven back her loneliness.
Her stomach ached from hunger, but the pains from earlier had abated. Though she was still weak, she thought she might be able to eat a little. Perhaps dried fruit or meat.
She turned to study Raine in sleep. The bristle of his beard lined his cheeks, and the worry upon his face had softened. For once, he appeared contented, and she found herself longing to kiss him.
Truthfully, she wanted more than that. She wanted to run her hands over his hardened chest, to bring his mouth to her own skin. She wanted to know what it was to love this man and to have him love her in return.
Dear God, her time remaining was slipping away so fast. She had thought she’d accepted it, only to realise that Raine gave her a reason to fight harder. He gave her a reason to live.
And whether or not it was right, she wanted him.
Softly, she touched his hair, smoothing it back from his brow. His green eyes opened, and the worried expression returned to his gaze.
‘How do you feel?’ he asked.
Carice gave a nod that she was all right, but instead, she ran her hand to the back of his neck. She needed to touch him, needed to feel his strength. ‘I am better today. But I am feeling a little hungry.’ She almost hated to voice it to him, knowing he would have to leave to fetch her food.
‘I’ll bring you something to eat.’ Gently, he moved away from her, tucking the furs around her before he left the shelter of the dolmen.
The moment he left, she forced herself to straighten and come out of the shelter. The fire Raine had built hours ago had burned down to low embers, so she found a few dry branches to coax it back to life. Carice stretched her stiff limbs, and when the cold wind struck her, she reached for her cloak. A new layer of snow had fallen, and she smiled at the frosted branches within the woods.
Raine brought her some dried venison from their supplies, and she ate, struggling to chew the hardened meat. But the nourishment eased her, and he gave her even more when she had finished.
It was noon, and the sun was directly over them. She was grateful for it, but it only reminded her that they needed to travel farther. This landscape was unfamiliar to her, but she sensed that they were not terribly far from the sea. Which was strange, since they had a greater distance to ride. Had they travelled farther than she’d remembered?
‘We should go,’ she told Raine. Aye, she was weary, but she knew the necessity of moving forward.
‘I don’t know if we should,’ he hedged. ‘You were very ill last night, and it might be better if we wait until nightfall.’
‘My stomach doesn’t hurt quite as much right now,’ she admitted. ‘I’d rather travel while I’m feeling better.’
He didn’t appear convinced but helped her onto the mare before mounting his own horse. Carice gripped the reins and felt lightheaded for a moment before she steadied herself. Raine drew his horse alongside hers. ‘You must let me know if you’re feeling unwell and need to stop.’
She gave a nod. ‘I will.’ His concern lifted her spirits, and as they rode, she wondered what he thought of her now. She had reached a low point during her illness, not only because of the pain, but because she had never wanted him to see her in that way. She’d grown to care for this man, and for him, she wanted to be well and whole.
Raine kept their path steady through the hills, and as they continued on, the snow revealed damp patches of grass and mud. They were silent for a while, and at last, she brought her horse alongside his. ‘I am sorry for what happened earlier.’
He didn’t answer at first, as if he were choosing his words. ‘It is not your fault, chérie.’
‘I know. But this was not what you were anticipating when you agreed to escort me to the west.’
<
br /> ‘I knew you would have difficulty on this journey.’
Although his voice was matter-of-fact, she hated the thought of being a burden upon him. ‘Even so, I am sorry for what I said to you about dying. Sometimes when I am in a great deal of pain, the future frightens me.’
He pulled the reins of his horse, and Carice halted her mare as well. ‘No one welcomes death. But we cannot be a prisoners of a fate that hasn’t happened yet.’
He was right. She’d been so consumed by pain and suffering, she couldn’t look past it. Although the stomach pains had diminished somewhat, they were always with her. But perhaps it was better to go on living, one hour at a time, as best she could.
She tried to muster a smile, but he didn’t answer it. Raine spurred his horse forward and kept glancing behind them from time to time, as if he suspected they were being followed.
‘What is it?’ she asked. She hadn’t noticed anyone nearby in the past few miles.
‘Just a bad feeling.’
She followed the direction of his gaze but could see nothing. And yet...there were tracks ahead of them. Many horses had come through this way during the night. Although there was no reason to feel uneasy, she asked, ‘Who do you think rode through here?’
‘I can only hope it isn’t the High King’s men with your father.’
She let out a slow breath. ‘He hasn’t given up searching for me.’
‘Nor will he.’ Raine guided her towards the trees again. His expression remained guarded and he asked, ‘Is there another reason you fled his men? Did any of the soldiers ever harm you?’
She shook her head. ‘My father is ambitious, not cruel. But he would never listen to me when I said I didn’t want to be the High Queen of Éireann. Sometimes I felt like a pawn in a political game instead of his daughter.’ But even so, she did know that her father loved her. After her mother had died, he’d spent a great deal of time with her. ‘Brian never wanted to admit I was sick. He couldn’t face the truth, and he believed that I would get better and marry the High King.’
‘Will you regret never seeing him again?’ Though Raine’s voice held no hint of reproach, she understood his caution. Before she went to the west coast to die, she might wish to see her father one last time.
‘Perhaps,’ she admitted. ‘I would see him again to say farewell if he would only let me go afterwards. But he won’t.’ She glanced around them at the frosted branches. ‘I am surprised that he would search this far west. He was at Laochre the last time we saw him. I wonder if the MacEgans told him where we went.’ She glanced all around her, but it was impossible to tell where they were now with the trees surrounding them.
Before she could ask Raine for their whereabouts, the sound of a woman screaming pierced the silence. Carice didn’t hesitate, but spurred her horse towards the noise. Raine joined her, but he held up a hand. ‘Be careful. We don’t know what’s happening.’
She fell back a few paces while he unsheathed his sword and rode forward. Over the rise of the hill, she saw half a dozen soldiers surrounding a woman who was immensely pregnant. The men wore Norman armour, and fury washed over Carice at the sight of them. Why would they attack a pregnant woman? It was unforgiveable.
‘We have to help her.’ She kept her voice low but knew that he heard her. Raine was studying the men, his face grim. Carice guessed what he was thinking—six men were too many to fight by himself. And if she tried to help him, she might fall into their hands. But neither could they leave a pregnant woman in danger.
Raine raised a hand towards the men, and in that second, the Normans spied him. They stopped encircling the woman and began to ride towards them.
She brought her horse near his. ‘What do you want to do?’
He kept his gaze fixed upon the approaching men. ‘You cannot remain here. Go towards the woman and help her towards the woods while I speak with them.’
It was a grave risk to split up, but she didn’t want to abandon the woman. With a wry smile, she offered, ‘I should have worn my chain mail armour.’
‘I don’t believe falling on top of the soldiers would be the best idea,’ he admitted. There was a hint of humor in his eyes, before it vanished. ‘They are coming to speak with me, and there is no need to fight—yet. But you must leave now.’
He kept his hand upon the sword hilt. ‘I will distract them enough for both of you to get away. You can help bring her to the trees and hide until I return for you.’
‘There are too many soldiers,’ she protested. ‘What if you are hurt?’
‘I won’t be.’
His confidence should have made her feel better, yet she feared the men might attack him. ‘But—’
‘Go now,’ he insisted. ‘I will try to negotiate.’
The men had almost reached them, and she worried that they might know Raine’s commander. ‘What if they demand that you return with them?’
She didn’t understand the searching look in his eyes. Raine studied her as if he were holding something back. ‘I will not go with them. You have my word.’
‘And if they give you no choice?’
He held her gaze for a moment. ‘Then keep to the woods until they have gone. There is another ringfort not far from here.’
She reached out to touch his forearm. ‘Be safe.’
In answer, he leaned down and kissed her swiftly. ‘I will come for you.’
The gesture startled her, and colour flooded her cheeks with confusion. Carice raised the hood of her cloak and rode away, just as the men arrived. Raine moved his horse to face them, putting himself in the path of the soldiers.
She didn’t look back as she rode, uncertain of whether this would work. Raine was facing the worst sort of danger, with so many Norman soldiers. But to her surprise, they didn’t seem to be attacking him. Instead, he gathered them near and spoke to their commander. She could not hear what was said, but it didn’t matter. The distraction was enough.
Carice dismounted from her horse and approached the pregnant woman. ‘Did they hurt you?’
The woman was weeping, holding her swollen stomach as if to protect her unborn child. She wore a long cloak and her reddish-brown hair held loose braids, barely covered by a veil. From the fine weave of her gown, Carice suspected she was an Irish noblewoman. ‘N-no,’ the woman stammered. ‘You came before they could harm me.’
Thank goodness. ‘Can you ride, if I help you onto my horse?’ Carice asked.
The woman shook her head. ‘I can hardly move right now. I tried to run from them, but I couldn’t get away.’
Given the woman’s advanced pregnancy, Carice wasn’t surprised. ‘Can you reach the safety of the trees? We can hide from the soldiers until Raine returns.’
‘I’ll try.’ But the woman was struggling with every step. Carice put an arm around her and helped her as best she could. Glancing behind, she saw that Raine was still talking with the men.
‘What is your name?’ she asked the woman. ‘And are you alone?’
‘I am Aoife,’ she answered. She did not offer her tribe’s name, which only made Carice more convinced that this was a lady of importance who did not wish to reveal too much. ‘I was travelling home when I was taken from my escorts. I tried to run, but with the baby, I cannot get very far.’
Carice could understand that. Although the woman was hurrying as fast as she was able, her girth made it impossible to move quickly. Even now, each step was an effort. She wondered if they would reach the grove of trees. Although Raine had managed to keep the soldiers away, it would be all too easy for them to catch up.
‘Where do you live?’ she asked the woman. ‘Perhaps Raine and I can take you home.’
There was a sudden uneasiness that passed over the woman’s face, as if she had no wish to reveal her destination. ‘If you help me get back to my husband’s men
, they will escort me home.’
‘We will try,’ Carice promised. ‘Is your husband with them?’
Aoife shook her head. ‘He is in Leinster.’
Then the woman had a long journey ahead of her. Carice wasn’t at all certain that Aoife could make it that far east, particularly if she could not ride. It made her wonder how she had been separated from her escorts and why the Normans had attacked. Surely her men had to be nearby.
She continued guiding the woman towards the woods, though her own strength was beginning to diminish. The moment they reached the trees, she searched for a place to hide. The slender trees offered no means of concealing them, but there was a large stone monolith near the clearing. It was an obvious place, but their only choice.
Carice helped the woman continue through the trees, and when they reached the monolith, she bade Aoife to sit down. ‘Are you all right?’ she asked.
Aoife was out of breath, but she managed to nod. ‘I need to rest.’ She closed her eyes, pressing her hands against her swollen belly.
‘How long before your child is born?’ Carice asked. She worried that the woman might have already begun her labour.
‘A few weeks, perhaps.’ Aoife shrugged. ‘It’s difficult to tell.’ She sat upon another stone and leaned back against the monolith. For several moments, she calmed herself, and then she added, ‘I was taken from my escorts about a mile east of here. If you could help me return to them, then that will be enough.’
‘Shouldn’t they be searching for you?’
The woman closed her eyes and shrugged. ‘I was travelling with eight of my father’s men. Some of them provoked a fight with the Normans. Four were killed.’
It wasn’t surprising. Although a year had passed since the invasion at Port Láirge, many of the Irish despised the Normans—especially if their loved ones had died in battle.
‘The other four men might still come for you,’ Carice offered. ‘But we will try to reach them.’ Inwardly, she wasn’t certain how this woman could possibly travel a mile—not unless Raine returned and helped her mount one of their horses.
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