by Nicole Dykes
“Okay. I’ll see you there.” I agree. I call Jade on my way to Landon’s and get her voicemail again. I let her know that I’m staying with Landon and I’ll be back tomorrow.
“I miss you, Jade.” I tell her and disconnect.
I hang out with Landon all of Friday, managing to talk him into taking the day off. We go horseback riding and clay shooting just like we did as teens. I know he’s trying to remind me of what I’m missing, but I know whether or not I’m in Hollis or Dallas, I still have my brothers. That’ll never change.
“Just call if you need me to save your ass again.” I joke as I start backing out of his drive.
“See you next time.”
I drive back to Hollis feeling better than I have since the wedding. I know I’m making the right decision choosing Jade. I don’t know why I even doubted it. I told Landon I liked her. I was wrong. I’m falling in love with her. It’s been slow. I didn’t even realize it was happening, but I’ve been on a free fall since the day we met.
My phone chimes and I check the message the moment I stop at a red light. I don’t respond to Jade’s text telling me to come to her house. I know she has to be at work at eight, but I have plenty of time to get there before then. I need to tell her how I feel. Maybe then she’ll get out of the funk she’s been in this week.
When I pull up, she’s sitting on the porch in her Jack’s t-shirt. Her jeans are tucked into her cowboy boots. That’s my Jade. I rush out to her and pull her into a hug, but quickly realize she isn’t returning it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask and try to read the expression on her face. Her blue eyes are solemn.
“We need to talk.” she says, softly.
“Yes, we do.” I interrupt. “I figured out something today…”
“I’m back with Brady.” her words rush out and I feel like I’ve been sucker-punched. “We’ve been talking and while you were in Dallas, we got back together.”
Her words keep repeating in my head. Over and over. She’s back with Brady. It occurs to me that I’m falling in love with her and she’s with someone else.
“You…and Brady?” I ask, disbelief in my voice. She slowly nods. “So this…” I motion between us, “meant nothing?”
“Madden…” she says and slips the necklace I gave her into the palm of my hand.
“I thought it was no longer about making Brady jealous?” I yell. “I’m a fucking idiot!”
I walk to my truck and I can hear Jade following behind me. She says my name again and I hesitate.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but this was our plan from the beginning, right?”
“Right.” I agree. “Hope the two of you are happy together.” I tell her and slam the door.
I back out of her driveway and don’t look back. I drive straight to Jack’s and pack my things. I leave the final month’s rent on the table as I walk out of my apartment for the last time, not looking back.
I make it back to Dallas in record time. When Landon opens his door, he’s surprised to see me. The brunette hanging over his shoulder arches her eyebrows, but doesn’t say a word.
“You were right. I belong here, brother.”
Chapter 37
Jade
The next morning, I pry my swollen eyes open from a full night of crying. I must have finally fallen asleep during tearful thoughts of Madden. I let him go.
I stare blankly up at the ceiling. Since we got back from the wedding his father’s words have been stuck in my head. I tried to ignore them and just be with Madden for as long as I could, but I was distant. I clung on desperately as I was pushing him away. I put up a wall to protect myself and I know he could feel it.
Our future was tainted by his father’s words and I knew it. There wouldn’t be a day that I didn’t wonder if he was growing tired of the simple life in Hollis. Or if that was the day he would leave me and go back to Dallas. Or even worse, if he stayed forever and started to resent the hell out of me for all of his missed opportunities. He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I couldn’t let all that potential go to waste.
So, I let him go. I did the right thing. I’m almost positive I did, but seeing his eyes, those steel gray eyes looking so betrayed and full of pain. That will haunt me forever.
I hate that I have to go into work. I don’t want to risk running into him again, just in case he isn’t gone yet. Ending things with him last night was hard enough. I don’t think I can do it again.
I will myself up and out of bed before taking a quick shower. I dress in my work attire and walk to the bar. When I walk inside, I see Casey who looks at me knowing. When I reach her she simply says, “You went through with it, huh?”
I nod my head, solemnly. She knows everything. She knows I’m desperately in love with Madden, but that I had a plan to break it off with him. Lying to him and telling him I’m back with Brady would cut him so deep I knew he would leave and never look back. It’s the only way I could make him not ask a lot of questions. To try to work things out with me.
“Yes.” I choke out.
She hangs her head, “Jade, I’ve been a terrible friend lately. I know that, but I should have tried to talk you out of that more. You love him. Who gives a fuck about money?”
“It’s not about money. If he stays here with me, he will lose everything. His money, his family, his heritage. Everything and for what? To work construction in Hollis? To be with me until he inevitably gets bored and leaves anyway? I saved us both a lot of heartache.”
She looks back up into my eyes, “He left town you know.”
I swallow. I knew he would, but it still stings to hear it. “When?”
She shrugs, “Jack said his room is cleaned out and he left rent money. He’s gone.”
My heart breaks. “That’s good. He has a chance to be happy.”
She places a hand on my shoulder, “Do you really believe that? You think he’s going to find happiness when he thinks the woman he loves is with someone else?”
He did with me after Amelia chose his brother. Oh, God, I’ve destroyed him. I’m making him go through this twice. I tell myself that it is just temporary. The pain will slowly subside. What we had was just a fling for him to get over his true love and I’m the idiot that went and fell in love. That’s all it was supposed to be at the beginning, just making Brady jealous and him escaping from the pain of losing Amelia.
Will he find someone to get over the pain of me? Of course, he will. He wasn’t even in love with me. I close my eyes in pain. He may not have loved me, but I could feel how much he had grown fond of me. “I just want him to be happy.”
She nods sadly, “I know you do, Jade. That’s why I think you should consider calling him. Tell him you lied and that you two can work it out somehow. I mean what the hell is holding you here? You could move to Dallas. Hell, I’ll go too. I need a change.”
She wants to run from her own pain with Caleb. I know her too well. “This is our home. We need to stay. Will you just please be a good friend to me and lie? Tell me I did the right thing.”
She finally gives me a weak smile, “You did what you had to do. I would have done the same thing.”
The fucked up thing is, that’s probably true.
Chapter 38
Madden
I stare at the computer screen and all the numbers seem to start running together. I loosen my tie and lean back in my chair. I’ve been back in Dallas almost a month. A month without Jade. I still miss her.
I’d walked into Landon’s house and he hadn’t judged me when I’d gone to my knees. He hadn’t called me a pussy or told me to man up. He dropped to his knees and let me cry on his shoulder. When I finished, we both stood and silently promised each other we wouldn’t say a word about that moment to anyone.
The following Monday morning I’d taken my rightful position at Steele Industries. I’d listened to the slight gloating in my father’s voice as he welcomed me home. Home. I don’t even know where that is anymore. Right now,
it’s Landon’s guest room.
I tap my pen on the desk and replay that last day with Jade in my head once again. It’s been on repeat since I left her. I’m back with Brady.
I never even saw it coming. She hadn’t mentioned him in weeks. She even told me it wasn’t about making him jealous anymore. Then I’m gone for one night and they’re back together. Fuck, I was even starting to think he was my friend. How long had they been talking behind my back? Before the wedding?
I slam the pen down and breathe out, still searching my brain for answers. Flashbacks of Jade come at me in quick succession. The first time we met. Our first kiss. Dancing at the street dance. Touching her. Her nervousness at meeting my family. Holding her while she slept. Giving her the necklace. Falling in love with her.
I was willing to give up everything for her. My money, my trust fund, the future that was planned out for me. I turned my back on it and she chose someone else. How did I not see that coming?
I glance back at the computer screen and shake my head. I hate this job. I felt more accomplished when I was working for King Construction. I felt like I was doing something then.
“You wanna grab lunch?” Keegan asks, breaking me from my thoughts.
“It’s your first day back from your honeymoon and you’re telling me you’d rather go to lunch with me than your wife?” I tease.
“She’s looking for possible storefront locations for her boutique. She’s with Amber and Tiffany so I’ll pass. Besides, you look like you could use some cheering up.”
“Is it that obvious?” I ask.
“If you miss her so much, why don’t you just go get her?” he questions.
“She’s with someone else.” I explain.
“You were probably oblivious to it, but I saw the way she looked at you. I seriously doubt she’s with someone else, Madden.” he laughs.
“The whole reason we started seeing each other was to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. It was just a fling and it worked. She’s back with him.”
“And you saw proof of this? Maybe she didn’t want to put up with your overbearing family and bailed. Either way, are you doing to give up without a fight? That’s not the Madden I know.” he walks off without saying anything else and I let his words sink in.
I didn’t put up a fight at all. I just let her go. I ran, just like last time. I was so angry at the thought of her being with Brady and throwing away what we had that I didn’t even try to convince her I was the one for her. That I love her.
The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m not just falling in love with Jade, I am in love with her. Completely. There’s no going back.
I grab my keys and phone and head out.
“It’s about time.” Keegan calls out as I exit the building. I shoot him a smile over my shoulder. I have about three hours to figure out what to say to Jade to win her back. To convince her that she should be with me, not Brady.
I’ll say anything to get her to come back to me. I replay imaginary scenarios in my mind of what our conversation might consist of. I do this the entire drive to Hollis, but when I pull up to Jack’s bar, all those scenarios fly right out of my head.
I push the door open and immediately look behind the bar. I search for a familiar flash of blonde hair and a Jack’s t-shirt, but she isn’t there. I scan the room and the construction crew is seated at a table for a late lunch. I instantly zero in on Brady.
I cross the room and snatch him out of his seat. He’s still chewing his food as he asks me what the hell I’m doing.
“I thought we were cool!” I yell.
“We are!” he yells back. “You’re the dipshit that left town and left us shorthanded!”
“Do you think I give a shit about the crew? This is about Jade, Brady!” I give him a hard shove and he stumbles back into the pool table.
“What about her? You won, man!” he growls and throws his hands up. I stand there stunned. Caleb and Logan have come to stand between us now and the other patrons in the bar have begun to stare.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask.
“You won, Madden.” he repeats. “I knew that a long time ago. I don’t know if ya’ll can handle this long distance bullshit, but that’s between the two of you. Leave me the fuck out of it.”
It dawns on me then that Jade lied. She lied to me about her and Brady being back together. But why?
“Where is she?” I ask him.
“Shouldn’t you know?” he laughs and then he must realize something’s wrong. “Wait a minute. Why’d you come at me like that?”
I clench my jaw and look at the floor. I hate admitting I’ve been duped. That Jade made me look like an idiot just to get away from me.
“She told me the two of you were back together about a month ago. I haven’t spoken to her since.” I admit and he lets out a whistle.
“That sucks.” he deadpans. “Well, she’s taking class at the community college in Redbud. Her and Casey both.”
So she lied to get me out of her life and now she’s taking college classes in Redbud. I need answers. I should’ve gotten them a month ago. I apologize and thank Brady before heading out.
Jade can’t shut me out forever. I’m not that easy to get rid of.
Chapter 39
Jade
This last month has been both pure torture and amazing. I’m excited that I’m starting a new adventure in my life by going to college, but I miss Madden every day and my mind often wonders what he is doing. I know that he will never be able to forgive me for what I did, but I hope that he’s happy in Dallas. At least I’m assuming he went back to Dallas.
I spent a week in utter misery after he left. I only got out of bed to drag my ass into work and then it was straight back to my house, under the covers to wallow in my own self-pity. I didn’t want to end up like my mother, broken and lost. Addiction is in my blood and who knows what my grief could have turned into. The image of the last time I saw my mother makes me shiver. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since, Madden was right. It was just a coincidence that we ran into her. As far as I’m concerned, I said goodbye to her a long time ago and honestly have made peace with that. She was never a mother and I have found a family here in Hollis.
I also realized I couldn’t do that anymore because it wasn’t fair to Madden. I let him go so he could live up to his full potential and have everything he dreamed of. It was time for me to do the same. That day I drove to Redbud and registered for two evening classes.
It’s not a lot, but it’s all I can afford right now and it’s a start. When I told Casey about it, she decided to do the exact same thing. She’s taking three classes this semester though, so we drive separately because she still has an hour after I’m finished. Jack and Marlene have switched shifts with us on the nights we have classes, but I think that will just be temporary. Jack hates the night shift. He will be looking for another waitress soon to help fill in the gaps.
I think classes help to keep Casey’s mind off of Caleb. The same with me for Madden. Although, I still find I think about him in class and everywhere I am.
Maybe one day, Madden and I will work out somehow. Unless he finds someone new in Dallas. Someone with a college degree and the same background as him. Someone his family approves of.
That thought rips through me as I grip my steering wheel tighter. Could he already be with someone else?
I realize I have no right to him, but thinking about Madden being with another woman kills me.
I pull up to my house and I swear my heart totally stops for a second. Madden is here and sitting on the front porch of the house. The same spot I lied to him almost a month ago.
I take a deep breath and turn off the engine. Don’t be a coward.
I open the door and get out of my car, slowly making my way over to where Madden is sitting, “Madden, what are you doing here?”
His hands are stuck in his pockets as he sits there, like he’s try to stay calm. “I just had a chat with your boyfrie
nd.”
My eyes go wide. Brady? Shit. “Madden…”
“Imagine my surprise when I found out he didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about, Jade.” he nearly growls at me.
I close my eyes briefly and then look him in the eyes, “Madden, I can explain that.”
He stands up and walks so close to me that I relish the familiar scent of him for only a second before he says, “Good, because I would love to know what the hell is going on. Why did you lie to me?”
“I did what I had to.”
He takes my hands in his, the contact after the month apart is almost unbearable. His eyes are pleading with me, “What the hell does that mean?”
I step back from him, taking my hands out of his. “I heard you and your father talking at the wedding.”
He looks at me in horror, “You did?” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
I nod my head, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to spy on you. I just heard it and Madden, I couldn’t let you give up everything for me. Your father is right. You have a bright future and I couldn’t let you give that up for Hollis.” I drop my head, the tears bubbling up, “for me.”
I feel him walk closer to me and lift my chin up with his hand, “That wasn’t your decision to make. You think that was everything to me? That day you told me you were with Brady again, that’s the day I lost everything, Jade.”
I look him directly in those beautiful eyes of his. He looks broken. I did that. “What do you mean?”
His hand drops, but he still remains close to me, “You are what matters to me. I don’t give a fuck about money or that job at Steele Industries. I’m empty now.”
I look at him in total shock. I’m what matters? Dammit. “But your family…”
“I’ll still have the only family that matters to me no matter where I am or what I chose to do. My brothers are all the family I’ve ever really had. I grew up knowing that I would never fully have my parents’ love and made peace with that years ago. Hell, Keegan was the one that convinced me to come back here and fight for you.”