She tried to suppress her hatred for her former husband. “I don’t know, Kane. He deserves to die.”
His hand came up and caressed her cheek. He wrapped his hand around the back of her head, tipped it up and kissed her forehead. “He deserves worse than death, baby. I promise, I won’t rest until he pays for what he did to you.”
Another tear slid down her face. Kane wiped it away.
“We have to get out of here,” he said. “Are you okay to walk?”
She pushed away from the wall. “I’m okay.”
They turned toward the front door. Monty, perfectly unaffected by what he’d witnessed, stood with his hand on the doorknob, waiting for them to exit. “I assume you will be leaving us again, madam.”
“Yes, Monty.”
“Then I will wish you well.” He opened the door, letting in the midday sunlight.
“Thank you,” she said.
The butler said, “I will have been resting when you left the house. It will likely take me an hour or so to notice anything is amiss and call the authorities, Mr. Lakeland.”
Kane stopped and looked the butler up and down. He smiled. “Thanks, Monty. You’re a good man.” Kane offered the butler his hand.
Monty took it and nodded. “Best of luck to you both.”
Once on the street, they walked quickly down several blocks. Kane walked into a small convenience store and she followed. He asked to use the phone. The shopkeeper looked them up and down. Kane was sweaty and rumpled looking and she could only imagine how terrible she looked. They must have seemed desperate, because the man didn’t even hesitate when he nodded and pulled a cell phone from his pocket, handing it to Kane.
He dialed, and a second later said, “I need a safe house for the night… You can do it in the morning… I give you my word.”
Kane punched a few buttons more, then just ending the call and handed the phone back to the shopkeeper. “Thanks.”
Ten minutes later, a black sedan pulled up outside the store. Kane thanked the man in the store again and took her hand. They both got in the backseat of the sedan.
Lena’s mouth gaped when she saw Shamus Wade behind the wheel. “He’s who you called?”
Kane smiled and squeezed her hand. “Do you have a safe house for us?”
Wade nodded. “The neighborhood’s not as ritzy as this one, but you’ll be safe there.”
“Southside?” Kane asked.
Wade nodded.
“Wait a minute,” Lena interrupted. “This is the guy who tried to grab me twice. Not to mention the last time we saw him, you got him drunk and knocked him unconscious. Why the hell would we trust him?”
“I do owe you for the punch, Lakeland.”
Kane shrugged. “I promised he could bring us in tomorrow. He has the guarantee of claiming his cash and we get a night to sort out a few things. Everyone wins.”
“How is my going back to prison a win?” She wanted to know.
Wade chuckled, but kept his eyes on the road. She didn’t know if he was pleased because she gave Kane a hard time over her going to prison or just happy he would collect the bounty on her. She glared at the back of his head.
Kane sat back against the leather seat and pulled her with him. He tucked her in against his side and rested his head on top of hers. He was warm and comfortable even in his slightly grimy state. She sighed and relaxed slightly. “You have to go back and then we have to get you out of this. All Shamus cares about is his money. If he double-crosses me, he knows I’ll beat him to a pulp and probably escape with you anyway. He’ll keep his word. Just trust me.”
“You keep saying that.”
He put his finger under her chin and tipped her face up. “I will not let anything else happen to you, Lena.”
She turned her head away before he could press his lips to hers. “You can’t control everything. You couldn’t stop what happened with Banta and you can’t control what Oscar will do to get what he wants.”
He grabbed her arms and turned her almost violently, so she was nose to nose with him. In his eyes, she could see the pain her words caused him. “I’m sorry. I misjudged how sick Thorn really is. I never thought he would have Banta probe you that way. If I had known, I would have…”
He trailed off, never finishing the sentence. His pain was raw in his expression and the tension in his body told her he had suffered with her. She wanted to feel sympathy for him, but her own agony was too fresh.
She said nothing, but when his grip relaxed, she settled back against him and let him hold her.
The safe house was a three-story walk-up on the south side of Boston. It was small and sparse, with a living room, dining room and kitchen all comprising the twelve by fifteen living area. A couch, TV, card table and four folding chairs were the only furniture. A doorway led to a tiny bedroom with a twin mattress on the floor and a milk crate serving as the nightstand.
Wade came up with them. He handed a cell phone and handgun to Kane. “I didn’t have time to stock the fridge. I’ll go get some food and bring it up. I’ll be nearby if you…” He shrugged and walked back out the door.
“I know it’s a dump, but it’s safe.”
She ran her fingers across the dusty card table. “It’s fine.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” She made her way to the couch and sat down.
A moment later, he was next to her. “You’d feel better if you did.”
The sudden rage that boiled up from her gut surprised her as much as it seemed to surprise him when her protective wall slipped and he felt the thrust of her fury. His eyes widened.
She couldn’t control her anger. “Fuck you! You don’t know what will make me feel better. You have no idea what the bastard did to me. How can you know what it’s like to lose your mind to another?” She hated the tears, but she couldn’t stop. She was angry, but she was so filled with sorrow and fear it was hard to breathe.
Kane watched her for a moment. His eyes were filled with regret. She didn’t know if he was sad about what had happened to her or something else until he started to speak. “I’ll admit, I have never been violated the way you were. Believe me, Lena, if I could have traded places with you this morning, I would have. I would have done anything to keep you from that monster.”
“You said they trained you to do what Banta did to me.”
He looked away from her. “I was trained.”
She thought there was more to the sentence, but he didn’t continue. “Did you ever use your training?”
He nodded. “It’s the thing I am most ashamed of in my life.”
“Is that why you don’t work for the government like your brother?”
“They require you to agree to use any means to gain information. I won’t do that. In order to invade the mind of another person, you have to open the darkest parts of your mind to the victim. The harder they fight, the more of their attacker’s darkness is shared. Even if you had let Banta in, it would have been terrible, but fighting him forced him to push more negativity at you to wear you down.” He was silent for a long while. “I know you have seen things in Banta’s mind that were terrible.” He took a deep breath. “I can help you when you’re ready, Lena. I can take some of the pain away.”
He twisted his hands together and stared at the worn rug on the floor.
“How would you do that?”
Kane looked up and his eyes bore into hers. “You would have to trust me completely.”
“You mean you want to crawl inside my head like he did.” Bile rose in her throat.
He gripped her shoulders. “No, not like him. Never. I will never hurt you, Lena.”
She turned her head.
“Look at me,” he begged.
When she turned back to meet his gaze, he said, “I only want to help. It does not have to be now or even this month or this year. You just have to tell me when you are ready to let it go and I will help you.”
Her heart was pounding so hard she co
uld barely think. It had only been hours earlier when Banta had violated her mind, but so many things were spinning in her head, it seemed as if she’d been suffering for days.
She jumped at the pounding on the door. She was on her feet in an instant and looking for an escape route. She could see a fire escape at the window.
Kane swore and grabbed her by the wrist. “Wait. It’s only Shamus with the food. Relax.”
He got up and checked. Wade brought them a large bag of Chinese food and some bottled water. The bounty hunter didn’t stay. He mumbled something about seeing them in the morning and left.
* * * * *
Kane had given her the bed and said he would sleep on the couch. He hadn’t even mentioned sleeping together. She didn’t know if he was trying to be nice because she’d had a rough day or if he was repulsed by what Banta had done to her. Was she so damaged he no longer wanted her?
They hadn’t talked about how he could help her again. She had the distinct impression that whatever he would have to do was distasteful and he only offered because he felt responsible and maybe he cared for her. She’d heard him say he loved her when Banta was pushing into her mind. At least, she thought she’d heard it. Everything in her head was slightly out of place. She couldn’t sort through it all.
It was late, but cars still passed by the apartment building, casting shadows across the walls and ceiling. When she closed her eyes, she saw Troth Banta’s face laughing at her. She couldn’t stand it, so she stared at a water mark on the ceiling.
The couch creaked, indicating Kane had gotten up. She expected him to go to the bathroom, but instead he knocked softly on the bedroom door.
“Come in.” She sat up.
His chest was bare, but he still had on jeans. He padded over to the mattress and looked down at her. “I could feel you awake.”
“Sorry. Was it keeping you up?”
He shook his head and pointed to the mattress. “May I?”
She nodded and he sat down with his back against the wall and his feet straight out in front of him. His long legs left his feet dangling over the edge of the small bed.
She moved to sit next to him and his arm came around her shoulders. “Why didn’t you just have Wade take us in today?”
In the city, there was never total darkness. The room was light enough so she could see his face in the streetlights. His jaw ticked. She’d noticed every time he was angry or uncomfortable, his jaw tightened and the muscle clenched and unclenched.
“I didn’t want you to spend a night alone in a cell after what happened.”
The idea of a cold gray jail cell caused a shiver to run up her spine. “Thank you.”
“What did you see in his mind?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She tried to pull away from him, but his arm tightened around her shoulder.
“Don’t run from me, Lena. Please. You can’t sleep. I assume because you’re afraid to close your eyes. I know you’re not ready to let me take some of your burden away, but talking about what you saw will help.”
He seemed so sure of it. Her chest tightened painfully. “I saw a girl, younger than me and blonde. He was in her mind, tearing it apart piece by piece. She was naked under him and raping her body was not enough for him. He had to take her mind too. His smile was the most hideous thing I have ever seen. When he was finished with the girl, there was nothing left of who she had been. She was just an empty shell with nothing inside. She would have been better off dead.” Tears rolled freely down Lena’s face. “I feel the same way about myself.” Shame suffocated her as if it were a pillow held over her face.
Kane’s voice was tight. “You are not better off dead. We can get through this.”
“Why did you go to sleep in the other room?” She was afraid of the answer, but she had to know.
“Because I want to make love to you and I didn’t think I could resist if I was in the same bed with you.”
Her eyes closed as she allowed the truth of his words to flow over her. He still wanted her. What happened to her didn’t disgust him. His feelings hadn’t changed.
She turned and straddled his lap with her palms pressed against his broad chest.
He wiped tears from her face with his thumbs. “You don’t need to do this, Lena. I was acting like a schoolboy. I can hold you and take care of you without having to have sex with you. I want to be here for you.”
“Why?”
“I told you. I love you.”
He could kill with his bare hands. She knew that about him. Those same hands were capable of incredible tenderness. He loved her. Her entire body hummed with those words. “I thought I only imagined that.”
He shook his head. His fingers combed through her hair and rubbed the tension from her head and neck. “I said it and I meant it. I love you. I have no idea how it happened. I didn’t even know I was capable of loving another person. From the moment I saw you, things have been different.”
“Then let’s just run, Kane. We can go somewhere Oscar Thorn will never find us.”
One side of his mouth turned up. “What place is that? He doesn’t follow the rules, Lena. You know it. He’ll never stop looking for you and we would always be on the run. Those people in your vision, they didn’t look as if they were running. They looked happy and comfortable. Unafraid that at any moment Troth Banta would rush in and take it all away. I want that life.”
“You don’t even know if that world exists.”
His eyes narrowed on her. “I know the alternative is burying you and that is not acceptable.”
His hands dropped to his side and he looked away from her face. “I keep telling you what I want, but you haven’t said what it is you want.” He looked up at her again. “Do you want me, Lena?”
Her heart pounded and her chest ached. “More than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything in my life. I love you, but—”
“No buts.” He cut her off, rolling them so that she was lying on her back and his body pressed hers into the soft mattress. His lips covered hers. Because of the urgency she felt from him, she’d expected him to plunder her mouth, but his kisses were light and gentle. He nipped at the fullness of her bottom lip. His tongue traced a line along the crease between her lips. Her body brimmed with want in spite of the trauma of the day. For the first time, she was not thinking of the horrors inside Banta’s head. Her mind was engrossed in Kane’s lips and tongue and the way he used them to coax her.
He pushed up onto his elbows and looked down at her. “You say no and I stop. Do you understand, Lena? No matter what and no matter when. If you feel the slightest bit scared or uncomfortable, you have to tell me.”
She reached up and wrapped her hand around his neck. He was the sweetest, kindest man she’d ever met. Maybe it shouldn’t be the thing that turned her on. Maybe his hard body or sparkling eyes would be a more appropriate erotic trigger. But at that moment, it was his sweet regard for her that had her pussy pulsing for attention. “I will, but right now. I just want you inside me, Kane. I want to feel your cock deep inside me and I don’t want to think about anything else.”
He groaned and she felt his cock go rigid against her thigh. He’d been holding back, waiting to see if she would reject him or freak out at the notion of sex. Since closing herself off that morning, she had only let her protective wall down for short periods of time. She couldn’t stand the idea of anyone else in her head but her for the moment. She secured her hold on the wall and pulled his head down to her waiting lips.
He resisted for half a second and then devoured her lips. His tongue dove into her mouth.
His hand skimmed from her hip to the side of her breast. He was reanimating her. Everywhere he touched became alive again. She’d never thought to feel anything but pain and terror. Yet only hours later and she wanted to feel everything Kane was offering with his body. He made no attempt to breach her mind and she would not lower her defenses. Instead, she reveled in the weight of his large body pressed against her smaller
one.
Even through her clothes, his heat burned her. He moved to one side and she immediately missed the weight of him. His hand slid under her T-shirt. She’d removed her bra to sleep and his fingers grazed the bottom swell of her breast.
She gasped as heat and anticipation spread to her pebbled nipples. The fan for the air conditioner kicked on, and at the sudden noise, she jumped.
“Shh,” he soothed close to her ear. “You’re safe.”
A pleasant shiver followed his breath on her sensitive skin. She turned her head so her lips were a sliver away from his. He suckled her top lip and then her bottom, pulling each one into his mouth one at a time. His soft tongue merged with hers and then moved away to make love to her lips again. He kissed her cheek and chin before returning to her lips.
His hand still rested just below her breast. She couldn’t help arching in need of more. She moaned against his mouth as his kisses continued to distract her from everything else. His body moved lower and he kissed her stomach while pushing the soft cotton of her T-shirt up. She raised her arms above her head and he removed the shirt. The cool air tightened her nipples further. She covered them with her own hands and looked down at Kane as he dipped his tongue into her navel.
Her breath caught and she moaned as the sensation from his tongue spread out and down to her clit. His chin rested near her pelvis and his blue eyes watched. He was positioned between her legs, spreading them wide. He popped the button on her jeans and slid the zipper down, all the while his gaze never straying from her face.
Lena bit down on her lower lip to keep the sighs and moans from escaping. He kissed the skin he revealed between the zipper’s teeth. His tongue left a cool, wet path as he tugged the jeans to below her hips.
Her body was on fire. He hadn’t even removed her pants and her clit throbbed almost painfully. He rose to his knees and pulled the jeans over her ass and hips. She lifted her legs, placing her feet on his chest as he carefully stripped the jeans down her legs. He tossed the denim aside and looked down at her. She moved her feet to his shoulders and he smiled wickedly for a moment. Kissing her calf, he said, “We’ll come back to this later.”
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