by Suzy Kline
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
The Ketchup War!
The Biggest Case Ever in Room 3B
The Schnozzola
The First Clue
Payback Time!
The First Orange-Star Winner!
The World’s Second-Best Detective?
Epilogue
Who was Leonardo Fibonacci?
Another mystery for Harry . . .
“Why are you so happy, Harry?” I whispered.
“I just got a case!” he replied. “The biggest case ever in Room 3B! Who in our room will get a lucky lunch tray!”
“But that’s impossible!” I said.
“Not for the world’s second best detective! Me! You heard Mrs. Funderburke,” Harry explained. “She has a special set of numbers. All I have to do is figure out what it is, and bingo! Case solved!”
OTHER BOOKS IN THE HORRIBLE HARRY SERIES
Horrible Harry and the Ant Invasion
Horrible Harry and the Christmas Surprise
Horrible Harry and the Dragon War
Horrible Harry and the Drop of Doom
Horrible Harry and the Dungeon
Horrible Harry and The Goog
Horrible Harry and the Green Slime
Horrible Harry and the Holidaze
Horrible Harry and the Kickball Wedding
Horrible Harry and the Locked Closet
Horrible Harry and the Mud Gremlins
Horrible Harry and the Purple People
Horrible Harry and the Triple Revenge
Horrible Harry at Halloween
Horrible Harry Cracks the Code
Horrible Harry Goes to Sea
Horrible Harry Goes to the Moon
Horrible Harry in Room 2B
Horrible Harry Moves Up to Third Grade
Horrible Harry Takes the Cake
Horrible Harry’s Secret
PUFFIN BOOKS
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First published in the United States of America by Viking,
a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2007
Published by Puffin Books, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2008
Text copyright © Suzy Kline, 2007
Illustrations copyright © Frank Remkiewicz, 2007
All rights reserved
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eISBN : 978-1-101-00265-0
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Dedicated with all my love
to my grandson
Holden David Hurtuk,
born August 29, 2006
in Manchester, Connecticut.
You are so blessed to have
Emily and Victor for parents,
and
Mikenna and Saylor for sisters!
Special appreciation to . . .
My grandson Jacob DeAngelis, who first told me about the lucky lunch trays at his Peter Woodbury Elementary School. Thank you so much for all your help! You really inspired this story! I love you!
My granddaughter Mikenna Hurtuk, who asked me to tell her each chapter as I wrote it. Thanks for your interest and questions! I love you!
Pat Bromback, the cafeteria aide at Brookside Elementary School in Ossining, New York, who shared lots of stories with me.
The “Ketchup Lady” at Helen Keller School in Franklin, Massachusetts. I can see how you brighten the children’s day, Terry Fenton!
Nasif Mahmud, Sudman Murshed, Himanashu Darji, and Marco Mino at PS 152 in Queens, New York. Thanks for all your help. I loved being at your school for two days.
Jennifer Kim and Kwan Kane, who helped me with Korean good luck.
And a heartfelt thank-you to my husband Rufus, who suggested the deerstalker hat and the Fibonacci sequence. I love you!
And a special appreciation for Dr. Ron Knott’s Web site on the Fibonacci numbers, hosted by the Mathematics Department of the University of Surrey, UK. And the Kidshealth.org Web site for a collection of fascinating facts about the Nose Knows.
And especially to the three important people who helped me shape this story—Horrible Harry’s talented artist, Frank Remkiewicz; my very sharp editor, Catherine Frank; and my hardworking book designer, Sam Kim.
The Ketchup War!
My name is Doug, and I’m in third grade. I write stories about my best friend Harry. He’s the guy who loves slimy things, creepy things, and horrible things. He’s also the guy who loves being a detective.
He sure messed up his last case, though.
Mary was talking about it at noontime. We were all eating lunch at Room 3B’s cafeteria table.
“Harry, I can’t believe you thought Miss Mackle was engaged to the music teacher!” she groaned. “You were so sure it was Mr. Marks! Some detective you are!”
Harry stuffed an orange wedge in his mouth and flashed Mary a jack-o’-lantern smile.
“Arrrrrrr aar arrrr,” he mumbled.
Song Lee giggled.
Mary ignored Harry. She gently pressed her packet of ketchup four times to make tiny red dots on her hot dog.
When Sidney squeezed his packet of ketchup, it squirted all over the place. A few drops even landed on Song Lee’s pretty white sweater! The pansy on her sleeve was not purple and yellow anymore.
It was red.
Harry immediately took out his orange wedge and dropped it on his blue lunch tray. “Hey, Sid! You got ketchup on Song Lee’s sweater! How ’bout saying you’re sorry?”
“But it’s not my fault,” Sid whined. “I can’t help it if my ketchup packet doesn’t work right.”
Song Lee used her spork to scrape off the ketchup. When she finished, we could see a big pink smudge on her sleeve.
“Oh, no! Your favorite sweater is ruined!” Mary groaned.
Harry ripped open one corner of his ketchup packet, leaned toward Sidney, and squeezed it with one mighty push.
Whooooooosh!
Kersplat!
Ketchup landed on Sidney’s face.
“Eweeyeee!” Ida said. “Sidney has a bloody nose.”
“And bloody teeth!” Mary added.
“But it’s not my fault!” Harry replied. “I can’t help it if my ketchup packet doesn’t work right.”
Those were the exact words Sid used!
When Sidney wiped his face with a napkin, he missed some ketchup under his nose. It looked like he had a red mustache!
“Very funny, Harry the Can
ary!” Sid growled. “Only, I forgot to laugh.”
“You’d better not forget to apologize to Song Lee,” Harry said. “Or else . . .”
“Or else what?” Sid demanded.
“Or else it’s a . . . ketchup war,” Harry said, “between you and me!”
“Bring it on, El Tweeto!”
“After you, Sid the Squid!”
Both boys reached for a ketchup packet. Both ripped off one corner.
We all leaned back and got out of the way.
“Fire one!” Sid said, aiming the packet at Harry’s face.
Whoooosh!
Harry quickly bowed in prayer. The ketchup plopped on top of Harry’s head. It blended in well with his red hair.
“Fire two!” Harry said as he bobbed up, leaned forward, and squeezed his packet hard at Sid.
Ketchup sprayed along the table.
Most of it landed on Sid’s cheek and chin!
Harry ran his fingers through his hair. “Ketchup gel is cool, Sid. Thanks for my new ’do!”
Sidney grabbed his napkin and wiped his face again. He wasn’t smiling like Harry. Slowly, he turned and looked at Song Lee. “I’m sorry I got ketchup on you,” he said. “I don’t like it on me either.”
“It was an accident,” Song Lee replied with a forgiving smile. “It’s okay, Sidney.”
“The ketchup war is over!” Harry sang out.
“I’m telling on you boys!” Mary said, raising her hand in the air. “Mrs. Doshi!”
The lunch aide came running over to our table. “What’s going on here?” she said.
“A ketchup war,” Mary tattled. “Harry Spooger and Sidney LaFleur are not using their ketchup packets properly. And Song Lee’s sweater is stained!”
Mrs. Doshi asked the three ketchup victims to follow her.
Several minutes later, they came back. Song Lee’s sleeve was wet, but you could see the purple-and-yellow pansy. The ketchup was rinsed out.
Sid’s face was clean and shiny.
Harry’s hair was wet and combed.
Everyone watched Mrs. Doshi walk over to the portable blackboard. She wrote two names in white chalk.
Harry Spooger
Sidney LaFleur
When she returned to our table, she handed Harry and Sidney each a wet sponge.
“You two will wash all the cafeteria tables and all the chairs during lunch recess. The bucket is in the corner.” Then she added, “There will be no ketchup packets allowed at this table for the rest of the week. If you want ketchup, I’ll give you some from a large bottle.”
Harry glared at Mary. “You just cost me a kickball game at noontime. Thanks a lot, Mary!”
“Yeah!” Sid groaned. “Thanks a lot!”
Mary blew up her bangs. “Well, thanks to you we won’t have ketchup packets this week.”
Harry gritted his teeth. “Listen to me, tattletale. We could have cleaned up the mess ourselves. Tattle on me one more time, Mare, and I’ll tattle on you!”
Mary snickered. “That could never happen, Harry Spooger!” she said. “I always follow the rules!”
Always? I thought.
It was just a matter of time.
The Biggest Case Ever in Room 3B
The next morning when we were hanging up our jackets in Room 3B, Harry had a bag under his arm. “Okay, guys, I know why I goofed up my last case,” he said.
Mary hung up her wool scarf. “I do too. You’re a horrible detective!”
Harry opened his bag. “Nope. I just forgot to wear my detective hat.”
“Detective hat? There’s no such thing!” Mary scoffed.
“Oh, yes there is!” Harry replied. “Haven’t you ever heard of Sherlock Holmes? He’s the world’s greatest detective! He wore a special kind of hat when he was trying to solve a case.”
“That’s true,” ZuZu said. “I’ve seen pictures of Sherlock Holmes in a book. He is a famous character in lots of detective stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He wears a deerstalker hat. My dad tells me about some of his adventures.”
“Cool!” Harry said. Then he reached into a brown bag and pulled out a baseball cap. “I’m about to show you my deerstalker hat. When I get it on, I’ll be ready to investigate.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “I think you’ll be ready for baseball.”
“I’m not done yet,” Harry snapped.
We watched him reach into his bag again and take out a second baseball cap. He put the second one on top of the first so the visor was facing in the other direction.
ZuZu nodded slowly. “You know, Harry . . . that kind of looks like a deerstalker hat now.”
“It will be good for shade,” Song Lee added.
Ida and Mary snickered and giggled.
Dexter and Sidney shook their heads.
“So what are you investigating, Harry?” ZuZu asked.
Harry took off both caps and hung them up on a hook. “Well, that’s the problem, Zu. I don’t have a case yet. But when I do, I’ll be ready!”
Oh, boy, I thought. I hope it’s an easy one. I didn’t want Harry to botch up two cases in a row. His reputation as a detective was on the line!
As soon as we said the pledge and heard the morning announcements, we got a surprise visitor. It was Mrs. Funderburke, our school cook!
She was holding a blue plastic lunch tray with a carton of milk in the upper right-hand compartment. Harry flashed a toothy smile. He loves her. “Hi, Mrs. Funderburke!” he said. “What are you doing out of the kitchen?”
“Hi, Harry! Hi, boys and girls!”
“Hi, Mrs. Funderburke,” the class replied.
“I’m coming around to make an exciting announcement to each classroom.”
Lots of us leaned forward in our seats.
“I think we have the best students at South School,” she said.
We all smiled.
Harry stood up and took a bow.
“So we are going to have some lucky lunch trays for February fun!”
“Lucky lunch trays?” we all replied.
Song Lee clasped her hands together.
Mary pretended to clap. She didn’t want to make any noise.
“Starting today, one lucky person in each classroom will find an orange star sticker underneath their milk carton or juice box.” She lifted her milk carton up and tilted the blue lunch tray so all of us could see.
“The star is pumpkin orange!” ZuZu said.
“It’s big!” Ida said.
“It’s sparkly!” Mary exclaimed.
“If you find one,” Mrs. Funderburke continued, “bring it to me.”
Then she set her tray down on a nearby desk and reached into her pocket.
“I will give you this!” she said, holding up a gold coin.
“Ooooh!” we said.
“One gold coin for your orange sticker,” Mrs. Funderburke said. “It will buy you one treat from the Student Store!”
Now everyone clapped and cheered.
Harry put two thumbs up. “There’s one thing in that Student Store worth its weight in gold,” he announced.
We all waited to hear Harry’s choice.
“The light-up Wiffle Ball!”
Dexter and I cheered. We thought it was cool too.
Mary pooh-poohed it. “I’d pick the pink princess notebook.”
“I’d pick the monster eraser with the crazy blue hair,” Sid chuckled.
“I know what I’d pick,” Song Lee said softly. “My favorite thing.” And then she didn’t say what it was.
Mrs. Funderburke continued, “There will be lots of treasures to choose from in the Student Store. But,” she added, “if your name was on the cafeteria chalkboard yesterday, your sticker won’t be good today.”
Sidney and Harry frowned.
Mary did another silent clap.
ZuZu raised his hand. “How are you going to decide which lunch tray gets an orange star? Will it be fair?”
Mrs. Funderburke picked up her stuff and headed for the doo
r. “It will be very fair, ZuZu. I’m learning about a special set of numbers in a college math class I’m taking. It will give everyone a chance to win.”
When I looked back at Harry, he wasn’t frowning anymore. He had a smile as big as that Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. Ear to ear!
“Why are you so happy, Harry?” I whispered.
“I just got a case!” he replied. “The biggest case ever in Room 3B! Who in our room will get a lucky lunch tray!”
“But that’s impossible!” I said.
“Not for the world’s second-best detective! Me! You heard Mrs. Funderburke,” Harry explained. “She has a special set of numbers. All I have to do is figure out what it is, and bingo! Case solved!”
I covered my face with both hands.
Oh, no, I thought. This case had college math! It was not going to be lucky for Harry!
The Schnozzola
I was glad when Miss Mackle started science. It was Harry’s favorite subject. I was hoping it might get his mind off his big detective case.
The teacher was holding a giant model of a human nose. “Boys and girls, we’ve been studying our five senses. This week we’ll learn fascinating facts about the nose and how important our sense of smell is.”
“I love the schnozzola!” Harry exclaimed.
Sidney cackled. “Yeah! The big schnozz!”
The teacher opened up the giant nose and showed us what it looked like way back in our nostrils.
“These little hairs are called cilia,” she said. “They’re like whisk brooms. They keep most of the dust and dirt from going down into our lungs. They’re so small you can only see them with a microscope. The cilia appear bigger here.”