‘Looks to be one placenta but it’s hard to tell. Early days, to be sure. They look fine.’ His accent elongated the word fine and her attention zoned in on something non-traumatic—almost soothing—but he was forging on and she needed to pay attention. ‘Both babies are equal size. Nothing out of the ordinary I can see.’ He smiled and she was distracted for a second again from the whole tragedy. He was a serious darling, this guy. Then his words sank in.
Relief flooded over her. Her babies were fine. Relief?
She didn’t know how she would manage. Certainly with no help from her own mother—how on earth would she tell her?—but she would manage. And no way was she going to blame her babies like her mother had always blamed her for ruining her life.
But that was for home. For quiet, intense thought. And she’d held this kind man up enough with her sudden drama that had blown out of all proportion into a life-changing event. Events.
She was having twins.
Holy cow.
On the first day of her new job.
She had no idea where to start with planning her life but she’d better get on with it. ‘Thank you.’
Nikolai removed the transducer and nodded. As he wiped her belly he watched in awe as this slip of a girl digested her news with fierce concentration.
She was thanking him?
Well, he guessed she knew a lot more than she had half an hour ago because of him. And she seemed to be holding together pretty well. He thought of his sister again and his protective instincts kicked in. He didn’t stop to think why he felt more involved than usual. But it was all a bit out of left field. ‘Will you be all right?’
He wasn’t sure what he’d do if she said no, and as he caught her eye, her delightful mouth curved into a smile and he saw her acknowledge that.
‘Not a lot we can do if I’m not, is there?’ She sat up and he helped her climb down. ‘But, yes, I’ll be fine. Eventually.’
He thought of his sister and the disastrous decisions she’d made in the heat of her terrifying moment all those years ago. And the ramifications now.
He thought of this woman under the care of a less-than-proficient practitioner like his sister had been, and his mind rebelled with startling force. ‘I realise it’s early, but if you’d like me to care for you through your pregnancy, I’d be happy to. There’d be no additional cost, of course.’
‘Thank you, Dr Kefes. I think I’d like that when I get used to the idea of being pregnant. That would be most reassuring.’
She straightened her scrubs and he gestured for her to sit in the office chair.
‘Wait one moment and I’ll print out a list of pathology tests I’d like you to have. The results will come to me and we’ll discuss them when they come back.’
The little unexpected catches of his accent made him seem less formidable and Lucy could feel the relief that at least she wouldn’t be cast adrift with the bombshell all alone.
She watched his long fingers fly across the keyboard as he opened a file on his desk computer. He made her feel safe, which was dumb because she was just a silly little girl who’d got herself pregnant, and she almost missed it when he asked for her full name, date of birth and residential address.
Luckily her mouth seemed to be working even if her brain wasn’t and she managed the answers without stumbling.
He stood up. Darn, that man was tall. ‘The rest we will sort out at your next visit.’
Lucy nodded, took the form, and jammed it in her bag. ‘Thank you. It’s been a huge day.’
‘Enormous for you, of course.’ Nikolai decided she still looked dazed and he resisted the urge to give her a quick hug. He would have given Chloe one but he wasn’t in the habit of hugging patients or staff.
‘And...’ he hesitated ‘...may I offer you congratulations?’
‘I guess congratulations are in order.’ She shook her head and he didn’t doubt she was only barely comprehending what her news would entail.
There was an awkward pause and he searched around for something normal to say. ‘Sister May tells me it was your first day of work. You did well and I look forward to working with you.’
He sounded patronising but had only intended to try to ease her discomfort about seeing him on the ward tomorrow.
He tried again. ‘Of course your news will remain confidential until you decide to say otherwise.’
She nodded and he saw her draw a deep breath as she faced the door. She lifted her chin and he leaned in front of her to open the door. ‘Allow me.’
He actually felt reassured. She would be fine. He now had some idea how strong this young woman really was. He would see that she and her babies remained as healthy as possible, he vowed as he watched her walk away.
But she did look heartbreakingly alone.
* * *
Lucy had always been alone.
Half an hour later she pushed open the door to her tiny cabana flat and the really bizarre thing was that it looked the same as when she’d left that morning.
It was she who’d changed. Drastically. And she was alone to face it. But then again when hadn’t she been alone to face things? Luckily she had practice at it. The upside was that in about six months’ time she’d never be alone again.
Upside? There was an upside? Where was the anxiety she should be feeling? She’d lived her whole life with that. Trying to do the right thing. She searched her feelings for anger and blame for the life-changing event that had just been confirmed, but she didn’t find any.
Why aren’t I angry with my babies? Didn’t my mother get this feeling I’m feeling now? Almost—no, not almost, definitely—a real connection with her babies. Maybe this was what she was meant to be. A mother.
But twins. Fourteen weeks pregnant was ridiculous. Her first pregnancy was going to be over in twenty-six weeks’ time, because she’d already gone through more than a third of it.
She’d better get her head around it pretty darned quick. Let alone the known fact that twins often came earlier than expected.
She guessed she’d had her official first antenatal visit with the delicious Dr Nick.
She had to snap any of those thoughts out of her brain. Not only had he been there to see her throw up but to hear her whole sordid story of a one-night stand resulting in an unwanted pregnancy. Times two.
She frowned, and her hand crept to her tiny bulge. ‘It’s okay, babies, I do want you now that I know about you, but you could have waited for a more opportune time.’
Lucy rolled her eyes. ‘Like in about ten years, when I’d found a man who wanted to be your father. Preferably after the wedding.’ Someone like Dr Kefes?
She straightened her shoulders and patted her belly. ‘But don’t worry. I’ll give you all the love I never had and there will be no string of uncles staying over. If I don’t meet a one hundred per cent perfect daddy for you, we’ll do this ourselves.’
Her voice died away and she glanced around the empty room. She was going mad already. She’d bet Dr Kefes thought she was mad.
Twenty-two, single and taking on twins instead of the career she’d worked so hard to achieve.
She had almost been able to feel his soothing persona. He’d been very kind. Incredibly supportive considering he didn’t know her. She could understand why women fell a little in love with their obstetricians if they were all like him.
Though she didn’t think there could be a lot of tall, dark and dreamy docs out there with such a delicious hint of a foreign accent.
But at the end of everything, she would be the one holding the babies, and she’d better stop thinking that some demi-god was going to swoop in and lend her a hand.
This was her responsibility and hers alone.
She glanced at the tiny cabana she’d been lucky enough to score in exchange for house-sitting
the mansion out front, and she was thankful. Be thankful. She needed to remember that. If the owners decided to sell, something else would turn up. She had to believe that.
And she would find a way to support her babies. She’d just have to save every penny she could until she finished work.
At least she’d get maternity leave—or would she if she was fourteen weeks pregnant on her first day? More things to find out.
But they did have a crèche at the hospital so eventually she’d be able to go back. If Flora May would have her after she told her the news. She put her head in her hands.
And how would she tell her mother?
* * *
A kilometre away, Nikolai threw his keys on the hall table inside the door of his flat and pulled off his tie. What a day. And not just with work.
He wasn’t sure why he was so rattled by his encounter with Lucy the midwife, and her news, but he guessed it had to do with the day starting with his sister’s phone call. He’d obviously associated the two women in his mind.
That explained his bizarre feeling of connection with young Lucy. And that was what she was. Young. Barely over twenty, and he was a good ten years older so it had to be an avuncular or older-brother protectiveness. He’d just have to watch it in case she got any ideas.
Because he certainly didn’t have any.
Maybe it hadn’t been so clever to offer to look after her during her pregnancy, but it had seemed right at the time. And he genuinely wanted her to have the best care.
But when the next day at work he only saw Lucy in the distance, she waved once discreetly because both of them were busy with their own workload, and by the end of the day his concerns had seemed foolish.
He wasn’t piqued she hadn’t made any effort to speak to him. Of course not. His concerns were ridiculous. But it seemed he had no worries that she might take liberties with his offer.
Then the day suddenly got busier and Lucy and her problems disappeared into the back of his mind.
The busyness of the ward continued for almost a fortnight, so much so that the staff were counting back in the calendars to see what had happened around this time ten months ago. Solar eclipse? Power blackout?
There was an unofficial competition to see who could come up with the most likely reason for the surge in births.
It was Lucy’s fifth shift in a row and she was finding it harder to get out of bed at six in the morning.
‘Come on, lazybones,’ she grumbled to herself as she sat up on the side of the bed. ‘You’ve got no stamina. You think it’s going to be easier when you’ve got to get two little bodkins organised every three hours for feeds?’
She stood up and rubbed her back. ‘They all say it’s going to get quieter at work again soon. You can do this.’ And she still hadn’t told her mother. She’d told Mark and he’d offered money. And no strings. That was a good thing because she knew in her heart an unwilling Mark wasn’t the answer for either of them. The last thing she wanted was her babies to see her in an unhappy relationship.
* * *
When Nikolai saw Lucy he could tell she was starting to feel the frenetic pace. Her usual determined little walk had slowed and he didn’t notice her smile as often.
The next time he saw her he decided she looked far too pale and he couldn’t remember any results from the blood tests he’d ordered a fortnight ago.
He added ‘Follow up with Lucy’ to his list of tasks for the day and tracked her down towards the end of the shift.
‘One moment, Lucy.’
She stopped and smiled tiredly up at him. ‘Yes, Doctor?’
He felt like offering her a chair. Wasn’t anyone looking after this girl? It had been hard enough for him to look after Chloe and he’d been the same age as Lucy was now. And a man, not a slip of a girl.
It was tough making ends meet when you were trying to get through uni and feed yourself. He wondered if she was eating properly before he realised she was waiting for him to finish his sentence.
‘Sorry.’ He glanced around but no one was near them. ‘I wondered why I haven’t seen those results yet.’
Lucy racked her brain. An hour of the shift to go and she was finding it hard not to yawn. Now he wanted results and she had no idea whose he was talking about. For which patient? She frowned. ‘Was I supposed to give you some results?’
‘Yours. Antenatal screening.’ He looked so hard at her she felt like he’d put her under the microscope.
‘You look pale.’
She felt pale, if that was possible. She’d forgotten the tests. She ran back over that momentous day, back to his rooms. Yes, he’d given her forms, and the form was still scrunched in the bottom of her bag. Maybe there was something Freudian about that.
She sighed. ‘I keep meaning to get them done. Maybe I’m not ready to tell the world.’
She saw him glance at her stomach and raise his eyebrows. She looked down, too. And didn’t think it showed much yet.
He was frowning and he rarely frowned. That was one of the things she liked about this guy. One of the many things.
‘I’d like you to do them today, if you could, please. Outside the hospital if you want to. But if you have them done internally there will be no charge for the pathology.’
And pathology tests could be expensive. Expenses she needed to cut back on. ‘Big incentive.’ She nodded. Just so he knew she meant it. ‘I’ll go after work.’
He stayed where he was. Looking so calm and collected and immaculate. She felt like a dishrag. Her back hurt. What else did he want?
‘And could you make an appointment to come and see me in two days? I’ll let my secretary know.’
Lucy laughed for the first time that day. It actually felt good. She could even feel the tension drop from her shoulders and reminded herself she needed to shed a few chuckles more often. She didn’t want to forget that. Her mother had rarely laughed while she had been growing up.
But two days? It seemed she wasn’t the only one who was tired. ‘Two days is a Sunday. I don’t think your secretary will be take an appointment on that one. But I will make it for Monday.’
Nick smiled back at her and she felt her cheeks warm. She frowned at herself and him. He shouldn’t smile at emotional, hormonal women like that. Especially ones who were planning to be single mothers of twins.
She was never going to feel second best again and he made her feel like she wanted to be better than she was. The guy was just too perfect. For her anyway.
‘Thanks for the reminder. Have to go.’ She turned and walked back to the desk and she could hear his footsteps walking away. She could imagine the sight. The long strides. The commanding tilt of his head. Not fair.
‘You okay there, Palmer?’ Flora May was staring at her under her grizzled brows. She glanced at the receding back of Dr Kefes. ‘Is he giving you a hard time?’
‘No. Of course not. He’s been very kind.’ Though she smiled at her fierce protector. ‘I’m just tired.’ Flora May did not look convinced. Lucy tried again. ‘Not sure if I’m not coming down with something.’
Flora and Lucy were very similar in the way they viewed their vocation, and Lucy appreciated having Flora on her side. Never warm and fuzzy, Flora’s no-nonsense advice was always valid, and usually made Lucy smile.
‘You do look peaky. Pale and limp probably describes you.’
Lucy had to smile at the unflattering description. ‘Thank you, Sister.’
‘If you’re unwell, go to the staff clinic at Emergency. Nobody else wants to catch anything. Either way, you can leave early. I’ll do your handover. You get here fifteen minutes early every day and you’re the last to leave. You’ve earned some time in lieu.’
The idea was very attractive.
Flora’s lips twitched. ‘But don’t expect it every week.’
‘I certainly won’t.’ Lucy looked at her mentor. Maybe now was a good time. She’d hate Flora to find out from someone else or, worse, through a rumour. ‘Can I see you for a moment, Sister? In private.’
‘Of course.’ Flora gestured to her office.
Lucy drew a deep breath and Flora frowned at her obvious trepidation. ‘Spit it out, Palmer.’
‘I’m pregnant.’ Lucy searched Flora’s face for extreme disappointment. Anger. Disgust. She’d suspected Flora had plans for her training and knew she had been instrumental in choosing Lucy over other applicants. But Flora’s expression didn’t change. Except to soften.
She stepped forward and put her arm around Lucy’s shoulders and gave her a brief, awkward hug before she snapped back into her professional self.
‘That explains a lot,’ she said gruffly. Cleared her throat. ‘You’ve been a little more preoccupied than I expected.’ To Lucy’s stunned relief she even smiled. ‘When, in fact, you’ve been a lot more focused than you could be expected to be.’ Flora gazed past Lucy’s shoulder while she thought about it.
Then she concentrated on Lucy again. ‘And Dr Kefes is looking after you? He knows?’
Lucy blinked and nodded. How did Flora know this stuff? ‘I forgot to have some tests and he was reminding me.’
‘He’s a good man.’ Then she said something strange. ‘Don’t go falling for him. Easy people to fall for, obstetricians.’
Didn’t she know it! A mental picture of Dr Kefes, five minutes ago, smiling down at her and her own visceral response highlighted that dilemma. No way was she going down that demoralising path. ‘I won’t. I’m not that stupid.’
Flora sniffed. Her piercing gaze stayed glued on Lucy’s face. ‘Is there a man on the scene? Some help coming?’
Lucy shook her head. She wasn’t anxious to go into it but, judging by the sigh, it seemed Flora had expected that. ‘Your family?’
Lucy shook her head again. She could dream her mother would turn into a supportive, caring, helpful shoulder to lean on but it was highly unlikely. She so dreaded that conversation but after surviving telling Flora today, maybe she could even hope a little that it would be as bad as she dreaded.
Gold Coast Angels: Two Tiny Heartbeats Page 3