Flora nodded vehemently. ‘Absolutely. Consider it done. You could have night shift if you wanted. Then you’d only be there in the daytime.’
But then she’d have to work with Cass and they just might come to blows if she still treated her birthing women like she’d treated young Sally. Or Lucy herself. ‘Can I think about that?’
Flora nodded. ‘No problem. Why don’t you have split days off this week? Have tomorrow off and come in Friday and Saturday morning because I have a space on the roster then.’
Flora stepped back to the desk and checked her printout. ‘Yes. Then have Sunday off then do a week of mornings starting Monday?’
Sounded perfect. Lucy wondered if Nick still wanted to have breakfast together on Sunday—he might be sick of her by then after having her in his house for two days in a row—but either way she still wasn’t working. Flora was a champion.
She did have friends. ‘That sounds wonderful. Thank you.’
Flora glanced at her watch. ‘Let me know if you want nights next week.’ Then she looked back at Lucy’s face. ‘And where are you going tonight after work?’
‘Um, Dr Kefes has offered his spare room for one more night.’ Flora didn’t look happy and Lucy went on, ‘The new locks and cameras at my place will be installed tomorrow. So tomorrow night I’ll go back there.’
‘Fine. I’ll have a word with a certain midwife.’
Lucy shrugged. ‘It really doesn’t matter. I should be used to it.’
Flora lifted her chin. ‘You shouldn’t have to be. But I will fix her little red wagon.’ Goodness knew what that meant, Lucy thought, but she wouldn’t like to be on the end of Flora’s displeasure.
‘Oh. And Dr Kefes said because it could be misconstrued, he’s moved me on to a Dr David Donaldson. Do you know him?’
Lucy hadn’t known that Flora could actually blush, though there was a definite heightened colour to her face.
The older woman seemed fixated on the ward clock now. ‘Yes. I heard he was coming back.’
Lucy wasn’t sure what the problem was, but she hoped it wasn’t because Flora didn’t agree he was the right doctor for her. ‘Apparently his wife died.’
‘Hmm.’ Flora wasn’t buying into the conversation. ‘You don’t see your mother much, do you? Did you ask her to come and stay with you?’
Lucy shrugged. Would her mother offer her help if she needed it? She really didn’t want to find that out the hard way. ‘She’s got her own life. I respect that. And my flat’s too small for two people.’
Flora nodded noncommittally. ‘I have my own life, too, but I’d like to think that if you need a friend I am there for you, Lucy.’ It seemed a strange thing to say and not related to anything.
Lucy mumbled, ‘Thank you,’ and the subject closed on that.
‘Take birthing unit two,’ Flora said. ‘Judy is in there and will give you handover.’
Eight hours later, as the shift drew to a close, Lucy couldn’t help the little release of excitement that had bubbled quietly all day because she’d be going back to Nick’s flat again tonight. And everyone already thought they were having an affair.
But this was the last time she’d stay there. It had to be.
Tomorrow, a Thursday off for a change, she’d have all day to sort things out and be ready to sleep in her own bed tomorrow night. She needed to get back to running her own life.
A shame it had felt so safe at Nick’s flat last night. As if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders and this morning had been the perfect way to start the day. The picture of Nick, with his muscles, in the kitchen, cooking her breakfast, would be hard to beat.
As Lucy turned towards the consultants’ flats she hoped she wouldn’t meet anyone in Nick’s lift this time but it probably didn’t matter now. She was already the scarlet woman of the hospital, just like her mother, heading to sleep over at a man’s flat.
Not such a good example to her children, and something she’d sworn when they were peanuts she wouldn’t do, but this was different. How far she’d fallen since that first exciting day when she was going to be the best grad midwife GCCH had ever seen.
Lucy’s hope that tonight’s stay at Nick’s would remain unnoticed shrivelled and died as the nurse walking ahead turned into the front entrance to Nick’s lobby door.
Not much she could do about it unless she wanted to walk around the block in the dark, and that defeated the purpose of being safe, she thought grumpily. She rubbed the tender ache in her side where one of the babies had been poking her with an elbow or foot on and off throughout the day.
As she opened the foyer door a few seconds later with Nick’s key she could see the other nurse was still waiting by the lifts so she’d even have to say hello.
She sighed and admired the thick loose twist of dark hair on the woman’s head and even the escaping brown curls looked more artful than untidy. She’d always wanted to be able to do a bun.
Lucy brushed back the hair from her own eyes and felt hot and bothered and frumpy and fat. Where had all that excitement of five minutes ago gone?
Quite a few years older than Lucy, the other girl offered a friendly smile. ‘Evening.’ And Lucy wished for half her poise.
‘Evening.’ Lucy decided that must be what they all say around here and the conversation died because the lift doors opened.
‘What floor?’ the girl asked as she stood in front of the control panel.
‘Nine.’
The girl’s brow puckered a little and she glanced at Lucy more thoroughly as she pressed the button. ‘I’m on nine, too. Haven’t seen you before.’
Lucy studied the shiny white tiles of the lift floor. ‘I’m just staying with a friend for tonight.’
‘Oh.’
Lucy looked up at the change in tone. She saw the other girl digest her answer as she looked at Lucy’s baggy scrubs and the unmistakable bulge of pregnancy at the front. Her eyes narrowed.
The tone wasn’t unfriendly. ‘I’m Chloe Kefes.’
Bingo. She had all the luck. ‘Nick’s sister.’ Lucy tried to keep the resignation out of her voice.
‘Yep.’ Her gaze was drawn to Lucy’s bulge. ‘Would you be Lucy? His patient?’ Chloe had a twinkle in her eyes that took the sting out of her next comment. ‘The one the whole hospital is talking about with my brother?’
At least Nick’s sister didn’t seem to hate her. ‘That would be me. And ex-patient. Actually, he’s handed me over to Dr Donaldson.’
Chloe’s eyes widened. ‘I see. Good. I’d hate him to have to justify to people what he does naturally. He’s the kindest man in the world and the best brother.’ She raised her eyebrows at Lucy. ‘Gets a bit over-protective at times.’
The lift arrived and Lucy had never been so glad to step out. ‘I know. And I do understand. Nice meeting you, Chloe.’
‘Interesting meeting you, too.’ They walked down the corridor together and Lucy remembered Nick pointing out his sister’s flat next to his. This just kept getting better and better.
Chloe’s eyebrows rose when Lucy pulled the key to Nick’s door out of her pocket but she didn’t say anything. Before Lucy could turn the key Nick opened the door anyway.
‘Hi, Lucy, Chloe.’ He looked from one woman to the other. ‘Did you guys walk home together? That’s a good idea.’
Chloe looked like she might disagree but didn’t comment. ‘We met in the lifts. I’ll see you in the morning, Nikolai. Bye, Lucy.’
Nick held the door for Lucy and she closed her eyes as she ducked under his arm. This was becoming more complicated by the second. She should have just gone back to her own home. She’d tidied up the big house before work today and maybe she would have been fine.
‘I don’t think your sister is happy I’m staying.’
‘Tough.�
�� He looked supremely uninterested. ‘I’d be more unhappy if you didn’t. Who matters most?’
She had to smile at that. ‘I guess she’s worried the gossip will taint you.’
He looked more closely at her. ‘Have you had a bad day or was it just Chloe?’
She sighed and allowed herself to be steered into a chair. He handed her a soda water and she took a sip because she hated the way, even without intention, Chloe had made her feel. ‘I’m a scarlet woman, having an affair with the consultant.’
He shrugged and then smiled crookedly at her. ‘I hope I’m the consultant concerned?’
‘Stop it.’ But he did make her smile despite the gravity of the situation. Not that he seemed to think it grave.
He sat down opposite her. Caught and held her gaze. ‘You’re new here. You’re not used to it. The place thrives on gossip. Next week it will be someone else.’
‘I don’t want to be this week’s juicy titbit.’
Nick couldn’t stand it. She looked so forlorn. Juicy titbit. She was that indeed, but at the moment she needed comfort, not his sexual frustration, and he’d promised himself he would not sleep with Lucy.
It wouldn’t be fair. What single, pregnant young woman, after giving herself, wouldn’t be hurt when he walked away?
And he wasn’t capable of the emotional roller-coaster ride needed to stay. He owed it to her to be strong for both of them.
So gently, like a brother, he stood, reached down and she put her hand in his without hesitating, and he held that thought as he stood her up. ‘In that case, come here and get a sympathetic hug.’
Before she could pull away he’d folded her loosely in an embrace and just for a moment he felt her let the worries and stresses fall away. But only for a moment. Would she ever let him in? he thought ruefully, forgetting he’d agreed on keeping his distance, not thinking about his own walls that held them back.
A few more seconds and he’d have to let go. She felt too good, snuggled in against him, too rounded and lush and gorgeous. Maybe they should really give the gossipers something to moan about.
Lucy relaxed against Nick and tried to stop thinking. Just for a moment. Then she remembered the safe harbour last night, remembered the time he’d hugged her when she’d been frightened for her babies, remembered he’d kissed her once. She didn’t want this for comfort, she wanted it because he desired her. Because all night while she’d waited for the clock to crawl around she’d hoped he’d do this, because she certainly desired him.
She just wanted him to sweep her up, show her the love she had no right to expect, because she had the horrible feeling she was reading too much into his kindness. Learning to rely on him too much. And he had a real life apart from being her shiny white knight in her fantasy.
She didn’t kid herself he’d be dropping by with his paddleboard when she had two tiny babies to manage. What man would?
So she’d be the one doing the moaning if she let herself snuggle up to Nick for too long. She shouldn’t have come here tonight feeling needy and emotional, and more than semi-sexually aroused at the thought of sleeping under Nick’s roof again. She’d heard that the second half of pregnancy hormones could startle men. She smiled sadly to herself and prepared to ease back.
But she never got to take that step away because Nick lifted her chin with one long, caring finger, smiled into her eyes and kissed her. A soft and sweet and gentle kiss.
It was too much. Lucy despaired. The tragedy of this beautiful, too-perfect man, and the chance of him falling for her, nearly broke her heart. Something must have shown in her face because he gathered her even closer, whispered, ‘Don’t look like that, my gorgeous girl,’ and kissed her again.
And then it was just like last night, under the streetlight, a long star-studded, sensation-filled path to losing herself in a place where no rational thought was allowed.
‘Hold me, Nick.’ She didn’t know where the voice had come from, or even if she’d said it out loud, but she felt the floor disappear from under her feet as he lifted her into his arms and carried her carefully into his moonlit room.
Nick put her down gently on her feet beside the bed, murmured, ‘Far too many clothes,’ and helped her pull off her purple scrubs so that she stood before him in her bra and panties. Then he pulled his T-shirt off and drew her back in against his chest. Skin to skin. Like a baby against its mother’s breast. Her lace-covered breasts against Nick’s chest.
She could stand like this for ever—his hot skin on hers, lean muscle against her soft curves. She pictured them in her mind’s eye to save the memory, inhaled the scent of freshly showered man, leant into solid, muscular chest, lifted her hands to corded shoulders and slid her fingers along the rough growth of his unshaven chin.
Every part of him felt as wonderful as she knew it would and her body began to dance to his music as his hands slid slowly from her shoulders to her hips.
He made her feel wanton, desirable, for a moment even beautiful, and she tilted her head as he dropped feather-light kisses along her jaw.
She’d dreamt of this but it had never felt as magical as this.
Emboldened, her hands began their own exploration, the play of muscle and sinew and raw strength under her fingers, the bulge of biceps, and with a woman’s smile she felt his breath catch as her thumb slid across his taut belly.
The sliding doors to the veranda were open and the sound of the surf washed over them as he drew her down gently onto his bed and with her eyes shut by his kisses, the soothing sound of the waves and the salty freshness of the breeze surrounded her, along with Nick’s arms as he lay down next to her—and pulled her more fully into his embrace.
When he kissed her again she sighed into him. This was where she wanted to be. She had been fighting against the dream, fighting against the taboos of falling for a man who wouldn’t be there for her always, but it was too late. She loved him for what he’d done for her, loved him for looking after her babies, loved him even when he undermined her independence, even loved it that he was so confused about his own feelings for her—but that didn’t mean he loved her.
I love you, she said silently to him, and hugged him tighter because she needed this one night before she returned to the real world tomorrow.
* * *
He hadn’t meant to get to this point. he held Lucy in his arms and she felt so right, so perfect that it scared him. Terrified him that this woman—his hands slid with gentle reverence across her satin belly—and these babies—his breath caught—could be his responsibility.
But was he ready for this? Did she think he was? Was he open enough emotionally, worthy? Could he be trusted to never let them down, like his parents had let Chloe and himself down? He hoped so but hope wasn’t good enough. In his heart he knew that ‘not sure’ was unacceptable.
But still he couldn’t stop because she pulled his hand back when he tried to leave, answered when he kissed her mouth with a molten response that undid his intentions, pressed herself against him until his need for her outstripped his brain’s refusal.
But this couldn’t happen while he wasn’t committed. He owed Lucy that.
So, after a timeless journey of sensation, intoxicating kisses and the tender wonder of this woman’s beautiful body, Nick drew back. Shuddered the demons back into their boxes and stilled his hand.
* * *
Lucy sensed the change. In some pathetic part of her a tiny molecule was glad that one of them had stopped because this had no future and she would hate Nick to regret it.
It was fortunate indeed that Nick had more control than she did.
But, then, he didn’t love her.
He probably cared for her and was happy to be there when she was having one of her many crises, but for now he soothed her disappointed murmurings with, ‘It’s okay. We’ll talk in the morning. Sleep and
I’ll hold you.’
And she felt like weeping as he gently rolled her onto her side until they were spooned together, slid his arm beneath her pillow and then cradled her breast in one hand and her belly in the other. And she sighed away the longing, acknowledged in some recess of her brain this was how it would always have ended, and that when she woke tomorrow this book would close.
For ever. Because she couldn’t open herself to this kind of pain again.
Lucy closed her staring eyes with the unpalatable insight that Nick was being kind and unintentionally she’d asked too much of him.
* * *
It took Nick hours to go to sleep. Apart from his screaming frustration as he held her gorgeous body against him, it was the generous innocence of her response that tore at him. The innocence testified to her pre-pregnancy inexperience and how low he’d been to even consider making love to this woman without a full commitment.
She was so different from the other women he’d been with. He hadn’t understood, hadn’t learnt what Lucy’s kind of giving was about, so maybe he could cut himself some slack that he hadn’t recognised what he was doing until almost too late.
But it had opened a deep well of wonder, and also great guilt.
He needed to rethink this whole Lucy world. Because that’s what she was. A world. An amazing, generous, loving world that he wasn’t sure he was ready for. Or deserved. He fell asleep wishing to hell he did.
When Nick finally fell asleep it was so deep he didn’t feel Lucy rise before the sun. Or hear the blinds being drawn across to darken the room from the pre-dawn light before she slipped away. Or the rustle as she dressed herself in the lounge room with the new clothes she’d picked up yesterday. Or the sound of his front door closing as she carried everything she’d brought with her back to her own house.
* * *
Lucy knew she needed to go. Preferably before Nick woke up because, unless she wanted to be the Nikolai Kefes groupie of the year, she had to get out.
Gold Coast Angels: Two Tiny Heartbeats Page 13