by Holly Jacobs
His partner had installed a blackboard at the front door of the winery, and rotated out odd quotes on wine for fun. He waited, and Mrs. Nies continued, “It was by a man named Franklin P. Adams, and said something about wine, women and song being hard to control. I guess you’re finding that out. We women can be hard for men to understand. Ask my husband and he’ll tell you as much. But if you asked him, Mr. Nies would tell you despite the difficulties, we’re worth the effort, like producing a good wine is worth it.”
She only meant to help. Colton knew that. So he forced a smile and said, “Thanks, Mrs. Nies. And you go home and tell Mr. Nies that I agree...you definitely are worth any effort he made.”
She laughed and headed back down the path.
And Colton went back to sitting on his porch and trying to decide what to do next.
He was going to be a father.
And Sophie wasn’t going to marry him.
* * *
SOPHIE WAS SHAKING as she drove back into town.
She’d done it.
She’d told Colton the news. He couldn’t accuse her of hiding the information from him, or lying.
She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but his offer of marriage like that wasn’t exactly it.
Well, offer was a pretty generous term. I guess we’ll marry after all.
Yeah, that was the proposal every young girl dreamed of.
She parked her car at home but couldn’t face going inside the house. So she walked the few blocks to town with no real destination in mind. She simply knew she couldn’t sit still alone in the house.
Valley Ridge was a blink-twice-and-you’d-miss-it sort of town. The main street, Park Street, was the business hub of the small farming community. There was MarVee’s Quarters, which used to be the Five and Dime, but when Marilee and Vivienne had bought it years ago—well before Sophie had come to town—they’d renamed it Quarters because they said inflation had edged out nickels and dimes. Marilee had recently told someone in town that if they bought it today, they’d have named it MarVee’s Silver Dollars. Vivienne had reportedly snorted and said no, they wouldn’t have, because it would have sounded like a house of ill repute.
Vivienne’s comment made the rounds through town because she tended to speak less than Colton, and that meant she was pretty quiet.
Sophie pushed away thoughts of Colton and concentrated on taking in the sights, as if she were Tori and had never seen Valley Ridge, New York, before.
There was Mattie’s coffee shop, Park Perks. Burnam’s Pharmacy. The diner, the grocery store and Valley Ridge Farm and House Supplies. Annie’s small antiques store, and rumor had it a new bookstore was taking over one of the vacant storefronts. One end of the four-block main street held the township offices, and at the far end of Park Street were the schools. Over the bridge that marked the end of the town proper sat the small library, which was next to Maeve Buchanan’s house.
Sophie couldn’t help but remember the first time she had driven through the area. She’d felt as if she’d come home.
There were no real estate offices in Valley Ridge, but she’d stopped at the Quarters and discovered that Marilee and Vivienne knew not only everyone but everything about Valley Ridge. They’d told her about the house Sophie now owned. Well, actually Marilee predominantly told her, and Vivienne did a lot of nodding.
Sophie had bought the house, moved in, started to do some work for local wineries and eventually talked them into banding together as a collective in order to do more advertising. In addition to working for the wineries, she’d taken other freelance PR jobs. She’d never imagined that her parents’ obsession with public image would lead her to a career that promoted the public image of others, but in reality, all she did was what she was trained to do from birth. She tried to shape what others would think about a particular business, product or service.
If she’d had to rely solely on her income, she would have been hurting during the tight months, but thanks to her grandmother, she would never have to worry about money.
Another fact that annoyed Colton. As if she could help the fact her family had money.
If only she could make him understand that she’d give it all away if she could have the kind of relationship he had with his family.
She sighed and found herself walking into the diner.
“Hello, beautiful,” called Hank Bennington from behind the counter. “Where have you been all my life?”
“Waiting for you to find me,” she responded.
Hank laughed, followed her to the booth and flipped over a cup, about to pour coffee from his ever-present pot. She put her hand over the cup, realizing her coffee days were over for a while. “Could I have ice water with lemon instead?” she asked. “It’s hot out there.”
“Anything for a beautiful woman,” he said.
Sophie noticed Hank didn’t call her by name, but despite that, he seemed himself today. The night of their stag and drag in Buffalo, a combined bachelor/bachelorette party, Hank had gone missing and put an early end to their celebration. They’d found him at Colton’s, hanging wind chimes on the arbor Colton had built her for the wedding.
Thinking of the wedding-that-wasn’t was too depressing. She would celebrate, she decided.
Hank returned with her water.
“Is Lily in?” she asked.
He paused a moment, then shook his head. “I don’t think so, but I can check.”
She glanced at the clock. Her friend was a visiting nurse who spent her evenings helping Hank out at the diner. “No, it’s probably too early.”
“So what are you ordering today?” Hank asked.
Her first thought was of the baby. “A fresh greens salad, and the cottage cheese fruit cup, please.”
“That won’t take but a minute,” he said.
Sophie realized her hand was on her stomach again. This might not be the perfect time, and it definitely wasn’t the perfect situation, but she was so excited about this baby. She couldn’t wait to tell Lily and Mattie now. She wanted someone to be happy for her.
She thought back to her pregnancy with Tori. Not one person besides herself had been happy about it. Well, no one but the Allens. Whenever she’d thought about her baby, she’d comforted herself by imagining how thrilled the prospective parents would be. Now that she’d met them, it was easier to picture Gloria holding Tori for the first time. In her game of make-believe, she could see Dom setting toddler Tori on a table with a paintbrush and canvas.
Her daughter had been loved. Tori had been treasured. And now Sophie had a chance to have Tori in her life.
Telling her about the new baby could be difficult—
“I went by your house.” Colton stood alongside her booth and sat down opposite her. “I figured you’d be with Lily or Mattie.”
“Both of them are working, so no. I’m here for lunch.”
As if on cue, Hank smiled and deposited her salad and cottage cheese in front of her.
“Son, were you ordering?” he asked.
“Burger, fries and coffee, please,” Colton said.
After Hank walked away, Sophie said, “I don’t recall inviting you to join me.”
“I don’t recall waiting for an invitation.” He removed his hat and set it on the seat next to him.
Once upon a time, the action would have melted her heart. She loved that Colton was the only man in the area who wore a cowboy hat. He had all kinds of excuses for wearing it. He was in the field all day, and it protected him from sunburns. A baseball cap wouldn’t protect his neck. It was better-looking than an Amish wide-brimmed hat, which people in this part of the country did wear on a regular basis.
But, in reality, he simply liked the way they looked.
She tried to forget that his hat was endearing and asked, “So, what can I do for you, Colton?”
“You can’t drop a bombshell like that on me and then walk away.”
“Yes, I can.” She was being difficult. She knew she was, but she couldn’t s
eem to help herself.
“We need to talk about getting married,” he said.
“No, we do not.”
She purposefully speared a bite of salad and chewed it as he tried again. “For the baby’s sake.”
“I said it at your house. I’ve seen what a marriage based on something other than love looks like, and I can guarantee it’s not good for a child. Much better to be raised by two parents who are friendly.”
“I’m starting to hate that term,” he grumbled.
“Parents or friendly?” she asked conversationally.
“Friendly.”
“Sorry. Listen, I want to keep things amicable. I want to work together for this child’s sake. He or she deserves to be loved by both of us. The baby deserves to have us get along. But, Colton, I need to be clear, marriage won’t be in the cards.”
She wanted him to leave. She’d come here to celebrate. Granted a salad and cottage cheese wasn’t much of a celebration, but it was hers. She deserved a moment to revel in happiness over the baby before Colton came around offering to marry her because he had to.
Had to?
Once he’d claimed he couldn’t live without her. Now he felt he had to marry her. So who was the liar?
Colton said, “You were prepared to marry me a week ago. How could you change your mind so fast?”
“I didn’t change my mind,” she pointed out. She’d thought that he’d be mad. That he’d come to her for an explanation, and even if he didn’t understand, even if he was mad, he’d accept what she told him and love her regardless. Her parents’ love had been conditional, and it turned out, so was Colton’s. Be perfect. That was all she had had to do for her parents to love her. When she couldn’t, they’d been happy to see her leave.
Turned out Colton wanted her to be perfect, too. Well, the joke was on him. She’d never claimed to be perfect.
“I didn’t change my mind,” she repeated. “You changed yours.”
“It’s not that I changed my mind, it’s that...” The sentence died off as he tried to search for an excuse.
“Colton, it’s okay. I don’t blame you. Really, I don’t.” She’d been shocked when she’d found someone to love, and had always worried that the ax would fall. So, she wasn’t surprised when it did, and she wasn’t really surprised that she was the one who had inadvertently set the ax in motion. “It’s my fault, and I accept that. But we can’t go back. So, thank you for the offer, but no, thank you.”
“Sophie, I—”
She pushed away the remainder of her salad. “I’m sorry, Colton. This is my fault. All of it. I should have told you, but...” She shook her head. She could give him lengthy explanations about why it was so hard to talk about the daughter she’d been forced to give up, about her family. “Suffice to say, I didn’t. I didn’t tell you that I had living parents, a daughter or money in the bank. So, here we are. We’re going to have to make the best of things.”
“And be friendly?” he asked.
Hank came over with the burger. Colton said thank-you, watched Hank leave and waited for Sophie to answer.
“Yes,” she said. “We have someone else to think about now, so being friendly is our best option.”
“No, being married is our best option,” he maintained. “I’ll get over the things you didn’t tell me.”
He paused and when she didn’t reply, he added, “I miss you. I want to try again.”
Sophie wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe he could get over the fact she’d lied through omission. But Colton was a man with a very black-and-white view of the world. And she suspected this sudden change of heart had more to do with the baby than anything else. There were many things she was confused about at the moment, but the one thing she knew with certainty was that she wasn’t willing to settle.
“Again, thank you, but no. I don’t think there’s any going back. I will keep you posted.” She rose, pulled a twenty from her wallet and set it on the table.
Colton grabbed her wrist. “Sophie, don’t go, please.”
She saw the irony in the fact he’d been the one to walk away before. She’d wanted to beg him to stay and, now, he was asking her. Her answer was the same, not out of malice, but because it was her only option. For most of her life, she’d sworn she’d never marry. For a brief moment in time, she’d believed she could have the marriage and love she’d always dreamed existed, but she knew the only reason he was asking her to marry him again was because his honor demanded it. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.”
“Sophie,” he said. Just her name. Part of her wanted to turn around and go back to him, but she forced herself to keep walking.
She’d fallen in love with Tori’s father while she was still in high school. She had imagined them coming back to class reunions together. She had imagined their family. She knew there would be ups and downs, but she’d thought they’d weather them together.
Then he left her to carry their daughter on her own. He’d given her no choice but to acquiesce to her parents’ wishes—no, their demands—that she forget about her dreams of raising their child and give the baby up for adoption. Shawn had never even contacted her afterward to see if she was okay, or to ask the gender of the baby. He’d taken off and never given her, or their daughter, a second thought.
She had sworn she was done. That she’d never trust, or rely on, a man again.
Then she’d met Colton, and slowly, he’d won her over. Again, she was sure that there was nothing, no hurdle, they couldn’t overcome together. And at the first rough patch, he’d left.
There was an old saying about if you fooled a person, shame on you. But if you fooled that person again, shame on them. Well, she’d finally learned her lesson.
She wouldn’t be fooled again.
She put her hand on her stomach.
She had Tori back in her life. She had friends, and soon, she’d have this new baby.
She had a full life. A blessed life.
It was more than she ever thought she’d have.
She was going to count herself lucky.
She was sure she could learn to live without Colton, just as she’d learned to live without Shawn.
She could learn again, no problem.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE NEXT DAY, Sophie was on pins and needles as she waited for the Allens to arrive.
Tori had texted and said they’d all checked into JoAnn’s bed-and-breakfast and were now walking over.
Sophie’s emotions changed from ecstatic to terrified to... They moved about with such speed and wild fluctuations that she was exhausted even though it was only a little past lunch. Tori would be spending the Fourth of July weekend with her parents at JoAnn’s, then she’d be moving into the guest room upstairs on Monday.
Sophie had stripped it to its bare bones. She hoped that during their first week together, Tori might want to decorate it with her. She’d decided that having a project would give them something to do, some commonality to start to build a relationship over.
It had sounded like a good plan until now, but as she waited for the Allens it sounded more and more stupid.
And with the baby, she couldn’t even help paint. She needed to tell Tori, but not right away. She wanted to give them some time to start to build a bond before she told her about the baby.
Sophie had bought out the baby book section at an online bookstore and paid for expedited shipping. She had the small mountain of books stashed in her closet and would keep them there until after she’d told Tori. But what she’d read so far suggested that waiting for twelve weeks to tell people made sense. Many babies were miscarried in those first three months.
The mere thought of losing this baby was almost a physical pain.
Sophie walked to the window and peered out. She paced to the living room, then back to the window.
She finally gave up and went to the porch and sat on the steps, watching for her daughter and her daughter’s parents to arrive.
What an amb
iguous place to be. Somewhere between mother and stranger.
Her hands rested on her stomach. She wanted this baby so much, but the thought of causing Tori one more moment of pain hurt.
Back and forth. Her emotions, her thoughts, careened back and forth.
Finally she spotted the Allens. The blue in Tori’s hair had faded. Oh, it still showed, but it was as if her blond hair simply had a blue undertone.
Sophie said, “Hi,” to Gloria and Dom, then turned to Tori and asked, “What happened to the hair?”
Tori grinned. “It was a temporary dye. It’s meant to wash out over the course of weeks. I should be blue-free by the time school starts. I’ve dyed it with permanent dye before, but the time I tried out black hair convinced me that temporary was a better idea.”
“What was the problem when you dyed it black?”
“I wanted to look dark and mysterious, but instead, I looked like Elvira gone to high school. It wasn’t a good look.”
“Sorry.” Sophie had never dyed her hair. When she was Tori’s age, her parents wouldn’t have allowed it, and when she got older, she’d never seen the point. But she felt a jolt of admiration for the Allens, who gave Tori the freedom to experiment.
“Yeah, well, I learned my lesson.” Tori fluffed her bluish-tinged blond hair. “I may dye it again.” There was a challenge in the statement, as if she was daring Sophie to protest.
“Maybe I’ll dye mine, as well. We could try complementary colors.” Sophie smiled, hoping that Tori understood she accepted her. “You could go back to blue, and I could go with Old Glory red, and we’d fit right into this weekend’s celebrations.” She smiled at the Allens. “How was your drive?”
“Fine, but it took a lot longer than it should have.” Gloria shot a look in Dom’s direction.
He didn’t seem fazed by it. “What my wife is saying is, I drove. She hates it when I drive.”
“Oh? Too fast?”
“Just the opposite,” Gloria said. “I think every car on I-90 passed us at some point.”
“I’ve read reports that say gas mileage falls rapidly anytime you’re driving more than fifty miles an hour. And I drove at fifty.” He looked expectantly at Gloria and Tori, who said “hippie” in unison.