by Holly Jacobs
“No, I didn’t stop loving you. A part of me will always love you, and now we’ll be tied together because of the love of our son.” Despite the argument, she reveled in saying those words. Our son. My son.
“So, marry me,” he said.
“No.” She knew what she wanted, and Colton couldn’t give it to her. It had taken her a while to put a name to it, but now that she had, she wouldn’t settle for less than complete, unconditional love.
“I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I was so mad that you’d lied to me. You let me think your parents were dead. You lied about your last name, and you never told me about Tori. I was so angry. I never stopped to ask myself why you lied. I walked away from you when you needed me most. I can’t apologize enough for that. But I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. This would be easier if one of us had done something big and unforgivable. But for us, it comes down to trust. I can’t trust you to be there for me if I mess up again. And you can’t trust me because I lied. All that being said, I know that you’ll be here for the baby. I know that.” And she did. Colton would give their son the unconditional love she’d always craved. She might not have done a lot right, and she might not be destined for that fairy-tale love sort of ending she’d always longed for, but she’d done that much. She’d given her son a father who would walk through fire for him.
“I want to be here for you, too.”
She wished she could simply say yes. Yes, Colton, I’ll marry you even if I know you don’t love me the way I want to be loved. But she didn’t have it in her.
She got out of the truck and walked around to the driver’s side. Colton’s window was down, so she was glad to have the door between them as she said, “I thought I could change. For so many years I kept myself separate. I didn’t want to trust anyone because so many people I’d believed in had let me down. No, not just let me down, they hurt me in a way I can never describe. When I needed them, they walked away. I never thought you’d do that, but you did. I needed you to stand by me and love me even when I didn’t deserve it. But you didn’t. You walked away. Well, you can’t keep walking because of the baby, but I’ve learned my lesson.”
“I won’t give up on us,” he said, repeating his words from yesterday.
“Then I’m sorry.”
She looked at the man sitting in his truck, wearing his heart on his sleeve and his cowboy hat on his head. Once it would have been enough. But she wanted more than Colton’s heart on his sleeve. She wanted him to give his heart to her fully and completely, and he couldn’t.
“I’ve got to—” She was going to say go in, but at that moment, the Allens pulled into the driveway, effectively blocking Colton in her long, narrow driveway.
“Sophie, guess what?” Tori called as she bolted from the backseat of the car. “I got something for the peanut.” She pulled out a cotton T-shirt and held it out. It read My Big Sister Went to Niagara Falls and All I Got Was This Dumb T-Shirt. “Look how small the lettering is. I got a nine-months because Mom said I grew out of my newborn and three-to-six-month stuff real quick. I figure my brother or sister will, too.”
“Brother,” Sophie said. “Colton and I came from the doctor and it’s a brother.”
“Really?” She turned to Gloria and Dom, who hadn’t bolted and were well behind her. “It’s a boy.”
“Colton and I went to the doctor’s,” she explained to Dom and Gloria.
Tori moved between Sophie and Colton, who was still in his truck, her back to him, as if protecting Sophie from him. “Did the doctor say anything else?”
“Only that my calculations were wrong. He’ll be here in December, not the beginning of February.”
Colton got out of the truck and neatly stepped around Tori.
“Congratulations,” Dom said.
Colton acknowledged the group and said hello to everyone.
“Jerk,” Tori muttered.
Sophie didn’t think her parents heard her, as she wasn’t facing them, but Sophie shot her a look. Tori simply looked back with defiance in her eyes.
“Why don’t we all go inside? Colton, maybe Dom will move the car and let you out?” Sophie tried.
“Oh, that’s fine. I have time to stay,” Colton said. “I’d like to get to know Tori’s parents.”
Tori did a most fantastic eye roll and walked into the house. Dom and Gloria didn’t seem aware of it, and Sophie didn’t rat her out.
Sophie had shut the screen door when she heard, “Hey, Sophie.”
Mattie and Lily walked onto the porch. “What are you two doing here?” She realized that didn’t sound very welcoming, and she smiled and added, “It’s always good to see you.”
“I’ve got an hour before my next house call,” Lily said.
“Mom’s watching the shop for an hour and Finn’s got the kids, so we brought snacks.” Mattie held out a giant box.
“We wanted to hear how the doctor’s went,” said Lily. “I thought about trying to find someone to call in sick so I could fill in at the office today and be there when you came in.”
It looked as if the Allens were going to meet everyone today. “Come on in. The Allens and Tori got back.”
“And is that Colton’s truck?” Mattie asked.
“Yes,” Sophie sighed. “I can’t seem to get rid of him.”
Her friends ignored the last part and grinned. She could almost see little hearts floating out of romantic Lily’s head, like some kind of comic-book bubble.
“He’s here because of the baby,” she assured them in a whisper.
“This is almost a party,” said Lily.
“Almost? Let’s get Finn and Sebastian over, and we’ll be all the way there,” Mattie said.
“Lily, don’t you have a house call?” Sophie tried.
“It’s Mrs. Rogers. It was only a well-check. I’ll see if I can stop over there tomorrow instead.”
“But before she makes the call, how was the appointment?” Mattie asked.
Looking at her friends, who were obviously thrilled and excited about the baby, reminded Sophie of how lucky she was. How lucky this baby was. Her hands shifted to her stomach. “Everything’s fine. As a matter of fact, the baby will be here sooner than we thought.”
“Was it far enough for Neil to tell the gender?” Lily asked.
Sophie nodded. But before she could tell her friends, Tori bellowed from inside the house, “It’s a boy.”
She found herself enveloped in her friends’ arms as they laughed, cried and congratulated her.
“Oh, you’re going to have your hands full if Mickey is any indication of how boys act,” Mattie told her. “Remind me to tell you what he did yesterday. But, first, let me call Finn.”
Sophie watched as Lily and Mattie whipped out their cell phones and started making calls. Mattie’s mom was going to close the shop for her, and Finn was bringing over the kids. Lily had called Mrs. Rogers and bumped her appointment to the morning.
They all went into the house and Sophie immediately looked for Colton. She told herself that she simply wanted to be sure he wasn’t in the midst of another spat with Tori, but when she saw him talking to the Allens, she didn’t immediately look away because she was satisfied all was well. Her gaze lingered on him.
He appeared a little haggard, as if he wasn’t getting enough sleep or enough to eat. She remembered what it was like before she’d come along and she knew that when Colton got busy on the farm in the summer, he frequently forgot to take care of himself. Sleep and food fell to the wayside when he was busy...and summer on a farm was always busy.
“So, are you telling people?” Mattie asked.
“I don’t know how much longer I could keep it a secret.” December. Sophie hadn’t had half a chance to really digest what that meant.
She’d have a baby in her house by Christmas.
“Probably not much,” Mattie teased.
Sophie’s house was too small for parties. She couldn’t help bu
t think that if things had gone as she’d planned, she’d be at the farm right now. And the farm was certainly big enough to handle any size party.
She started to pull the lawn chairs from the garage, but she got caught, and everyone told her no more lifting.
“They’re only chairs,” she protested, not that anyone was listening. Mattie and Lily took charge. Chairs were scattered on her back patio. Everyone, including herself, had a drink in hand. Finn arrived with the kids, and Sebastian showed up moments later.
“Sophie’s going to have a baby,” Tori, aka the town crier, announced. The Langley kids went crazy. Abbey proclaimed that she was going to be the baby’s babysitter and best friend. Mickey overflowed with happiness at the thought of not being the only boy in the group. And Zoe pulled Tori aside. Sophie could only imagine the big-sister horror stories she was sharing.
“Soph?” Colton had come up behind her while she was busy watching everyone else.
“Yes?”
“I know you didn’t plan this free-for-all, but since our friends all know, I’d like to call my folks?” Colton half asked and half said.
“They’re welcome to come join the party,” she offered. Colton’s parents lived a bit less than an hour away, and she hoped they’d decline because in all honesty, the last thing Sophie wanted was to see Colton’s family. She’d always envied his close relationship with them. Even though they lived outside Valley Ridge now, they still saw each other frequently, and she knew they always had Colton’s back.
Which meant they weren’t overly fond of her right now. They’d broken up. There was no reason she should have to deal with them.
But when Colton called them and told her they were on the way, Sophie forced a smile. Her parents’ game face was really getting a workout since her wedding-that-wasn’t.
Let the party begin.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
AS THE IMPROMPTU PARTY progressed, Colton kept his eyes on Sophie. She was playing hostess as everyone spilled from her small house onto her tidy lawn and mingled.
His sister seemed to get along well with Tori. Misty had taken the slightly younger girl under her wing and they were both entertaining the younger kids. Finn and Mattie had their bunch there, and Sebastian had brought over the Williams kids. Their father was one of Lily’s patients. Joe was about Tori’s age and frequently helped with his younger sister, and Sebastian and Lily seemed to have taken on all three of them. Joe Williams seemed like a nice enough kid, but Colton found himself keeping an eye on the boy. He seemed inordinately interested in Tori, and he caught her casting sideways glances at him.
“You, too?” came a voice.
He turned and saw Tori’s father. Her mother was as prim and proper a woman as Colton had ever met, but Dom Allen...wasn’t. He had on holey jeans that were so aged they were almost white. The only real color to them was the small paint splotches here and there. He wore a T-shirt that proclaimed Home Grown, Best Grown: Join a CSA.
“Me, too, what?” Colton asked.
“I couldn’t help noticing you glaring at Joe. That boy keeps eyeballing Tori, and she’s definitely looking at him, too, though she’s more circumspect. I’m trying to remember that I’m the cool parent. Gloria is the toe-the-line, rules-are-rules parent. But no matter how hard I try, I’m finding it hard to be cool when I think about Tori with boys. Even nice ones.”
Colton felt as if he’d crossed some boundary he shouldn’t have. “I don’t want you to think I’m overstepping. I thought I’d keep an eye out.”
Dom waved his hand as if brushing aside the notion. “No, it’s cool. I don’t think there can be too many people watching out for Tori. I grew up with parents who lived their lives by the motto It Takes a Village to Raise a Child.”
“Your daughter doesn’t like me much,” Colton admitted.
“Tori blames herself for your wedding blowing up and Sophie being hurt by it. But she’s a teen and doesn’t want to own the guilt, so she’s pinned it all on you. That’s how kids are. She’ll get over it eventually.”
“She accidentally stepped on my foot earlier.” Okay, so when had he reverted to grade-school tattling?
“Want me to say something to her?” Dom asked with a grin.
“No, we’ll work it out eventually,” he assured Tori’s dad. “I know she’ll be visiting Valley Ridge and Sophie, so she’ll have to get used to me being around.”
“Around the baby, or around Sophie?” Dom asked. “See, other people can overstep, as well.”
Colton found himself genuinely liking Dom Allen. “Both.”
Dom nodded his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Does Sophie know you’re still interested? I mean, she told us the two of you were over.”
Colton shook his head. “She’s mistaken. I hurt her. I thought I was the injured party, but I can see now that she was, too. I was so mad to discover she’d kept secrets. Not things like she was young and once shoplifted a tube of lip gloss, or got busted for underage drinking. This was big, life-altering stuff, and she kept it from me. That’s all I could think about...me. I was hurt and angry. But the more I’ve learned, the more I know what she needed from me wasn’t anger but acceptance, and maybe even forgiveness. She needed me to love her. She thinks I want her back because of the baby, but it’s more than that. Nothing’s felt right without her.”
“Did you tell her all that?” Dom asked.
“Some,” Colton admitted. “But I’m not sure she’s ready to listen.” Actually he was sure she wasn’t reading or willing to listen. “But I plan on trying to win over both your daughter and Sophie. It’s going to take some work.”
At that moment, his dad came over to join them. “Al McCray,” he said, thrusting his hand out.
Dom shook it. “Dom Allen.”
“I heard you talking about Sophie? So when are you going to marry the girl, Colton?” His dad gave him the same look he’d used when Colton was eight and had snitched a pack of gum from the store. It was a look that said, You know better, now fix it.
“As soon as I can convince her.” If asked a few weeks back, he’d have said Sophie was the most easygoing person he’d ever met. He’d have thought she’d forgive him anything in short order.
The fact that she hadn’t told him how much she’d been hurt.
His father nodded his approval. “Your mother and I didn’t ask for details about what happened because we thought that you two had plenty of time to work it out. You don’t have nearly as much time now. A baby. In December. It’s already mid-July.”
“I know.” Christmas. They’d have a baby at Christmas. And he knew that he wanted Sophie and that baby coming home to the farm with him. He wanted his son to grow up in the house that so many McCrays had called home. He wanted his son to run the backwoods like he’d done with Finn and Sebastian.
He wanted his son to grow up there.
But this was more than that. He knew that the farm would never feel like home again without Sophie in it.
His life wouldn’t ever feel complete unless she was back in it.
“So, win her back,” his father said.
“I’m going to try, Dad,” he promised. “I’ve been trying.”
“What are you all talking about?” Misty asked as she approached the group with Tori and Joe at her side.
“Talking about how Colton’s going to win Sophie back,” his dad said.
“Your brother hurt Sophie really bad,” Tori said to Misty. “He’s going to have to think of something really big to make her forget.”
That’s all his romance-reading younger sister needed. She started throwing out ideas for winning Sophie back and everyone else joined in. They went on talking as if he wasn’t there.
As Colton listened, he realized that despite the fact they had the best of intentions, they were wrong. Sophie wouldn’t be swayed by flowers or chocolates any more than she’d be influenced by romantic dinners or even dinner cruises.
He’d won her over the first time around with small ge
stures. Picnics. Building her an arbor. Reading a book she casually mentioned in order to be able to talk to her about it.
Listening to her.
Being there.
He thought he’d done a good job at the listening and being-there part, but obviously he’d only listened to what she’d said and completely ignored what she hadn’t.
Even when he’d thought her family was dead, she hadn’t ever shared any warm childhood memories in the way he had.
He should have paid more attention.
He could talk about books she’d read or her projects at work.
He knew she loved the color yellow, and that while she loved people, she needed moments of solitude.
She’d once said she never wanted to fall in love and marry. He’d thought she was joking and had laughed, but now he knew it had to do with her parents.
He’d thought he was a great listener, that he knew everything about her. But knowing her favorite color and that her favorite season was autumn didn’t amount to anything real. That was surface stuff.
What he should have been asking about was what went on under the surface.
Evening came, and still their friends, Tori’s family and his family stayed. Fireflies started blinking in the yard. The older kids helped the younger ones catch a jarful.
Misty, Tori, Joe and Zoe shrieked along with the younger set as they watched the jar of fireflies blink merrily while the adults watched the kids from the porch.
Sophie stood a bit apart from the crowd, at the edge of the yard. Colton made his way over to her. “Someday this will be Cletus.”
“Cletus?” she asked.
“Cletus.” He thought he remembered Sophie saying that all she’d ever been able to call Tori was Baby Girl. He wanted something more than that for her with this baby.
His impromptu baby nickname did its job. Sophie started to laugh. “When did you come up with that?”
“Just now. We’ll have to talk about real names, but when we do, I thought we might want to keep our ideas to ourselves.” This would be something the two of them could share, but it was more than that. “I know that when Bridget had her kids, she wouldn’t tell anyone their names until they were born, not even her brother. She said she didn’t want to give Finn too much time to mangle them.”