The Crazy Girl's Handbook

by DelSheree Gladden

  Chapter Five

  I was making an attempt at toweling off my hair with scraped up hands when Roman and the boys came barreling back into the kitchen. Well, the boys did most of the barreling. Roman just tried to avoid being run over. Distracted from my hair, I lowered the towel and watched them. It was like a three ring circus as they grabbed plates, soda, chips, ranch dressing, and parmesan cheese. For a few minutes it seemed there were twice as many little boys all crawling over the kitchen cupboards to find what they needed. Roman was a the sole source of calm movement as he set the pizza boxes on the dining table and flipped open the lids.

  The chaos continued as the boys then attacked the pizzas. “Piranhas,” Roman mumbled with a laugh. He turned back to me and gave me a funny look. “What are you doing?”

  Not sure what I was doing, I looked at myself. It was probably the way I was holding the towel in front of me with only my fingertips, like it was contaminated in some way. My hair was still dripping down my tank top and onto his floor. “I…”

  My voice trailed off, because if I admitted to why I looked so ridiculous, he’d try to help me again. I didn’t know if I could handle that. Trying for not making a fool of myself, I attempted to curl my fingers around the towel so I could finish drying my hair, but the sting of contracting my still slightly bloody palms made me wince. I tried to hide it and reached the towel up to the soggy ends of my hair. Roman wasn’t easy to fool.

  “Sorry,” he said as he marched toward me. “I forgot about your hands.”

  “It’s fine,” I said quickly.

  He was already shaking his head. When he grabbed the towel from my hands, they were too stiff to stop him. The few times I’d helped bathe the boys, they always loved it when I ran the towel over their heads wildly, jostling them all over as they laughed. If my fingers hadn’t despised moving right then, I would have crossed them that Roman would do the same.

  Of course, the gentle care he’d shown while washing my hair continued and he carefully drew my hair off my shoulders and behind my back where he could dry it all at once. My body swayed with every gentle tug. I could feel the warmth of his body only a few inches from mine. Not leaning back against his chest took all my self-control. When his hands guided the towel up to the top of my head to finish his work, I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from moaning. My hair surely had to be decently dry by now, but his fingers kept massaging my scalp.

  Noise broke out at the dining table, freezing Roman’s hands. He sighed as our gazes traveled in the direction of the chaos and saw Thor sitting in one of the chairs, testing the boundaries by placing one paw on the table top hesitantly as he eyed the pizza. All three boys were yelling at him to get down. Their giggling made the commands much less threatening.

  The pressure of Roman’s hands lessened and I felt the towel drop away. I froze when his hands reappeared on my shoulders and squeezed. “Why don’t you get some pizza? I’ll take Thor to the backyard and feed him so we can eat in peace.”

  The words formed in my head to ask if he had dog food—since I hadn’t seen a dog anywhere—or if I needed to go get some, but they scrambled a second later as he stepped back and his hands slid down my arms as if they didn’t want to stop touching me. Fantasy, of course, but I relished the touch for a few seconds until it disappeared. Then I sighed and set about consoling myself with pizza.

  The boys jumped up from the table five seconds after I sat down, already done inhaling their dinner. The table was a mess. I thought I might be able to clean up the dripped sauce, smeared dressing, and bits of crust before Roman came back to stop me, but he was faster than expected. I jumped when his hand pressed against my lower back.

  “Just leave it,” he said firmly. “Sit down and eat, please.”

  I found it impossible to say no and sat back down. Roman was already dishing out several slices of pizza by the time I got my head on straight. He’d turned his chair at an angle so he was partially facing me after getting his own pizza. He gestured at my food and hands. “Are you going to be able to pick it up? I could…”

  Cutting him off as fast as possible, I said, “Yep, no problem.” I reached forward and awkwardly scooped up a piece just to prove it. If Roman tried to feed me pizza, I’d lose it for sure. My hands stung like crazy, but I shoved away the discomfort and took a bite.

  Looking amused, Roman turned his attention to his own food. Feeling stupid staring at him while he ate, I tried for distraction. “So, how long have you known my sister?”

  “Since they moved to the neighborhood.” He took another bite, watching my reaction as he chewed.

  I couldn’t conceal my surprise at his answer. “Really? She made it sound like she’d just met you when the baseball season started.”

  Roman’s brows bunched together. He seemed confused, but not upset. “What did she say about me?”

  “She said there was this really great guy who was the dad of one of the kids on Colby’s baseball team. She made sure to say you were a single dad, of course, then spent five minutes going on and on about how amazing you were.” I huffed, frustrated at my sister for her deception. “She made it sound like she’d just happened to meet you and thought you’d be perfect for me.”

  Roman tried to hold back a smile. “Which you clearly didn’t believe.”

  Realizing I’d just managed to put my foot in my mouth again, I looked down at my pizza. “It wasn’t like that, exactly.”

  He didn’t challenge me, but I felt him working at containing a chuckle even without looking at him.

  “Why didn’t she tell me you were her neighbor and she’d known you for five years?” I grumbled. Had I known Roman lived in this neighborhood, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to a trip to the park out of fear we’d run into him. Thanks for the warning, sis. Irritation at Lydia building, another thought developed and I said it without thinking. “For that matter, why didn’t she try to set me up with you before now? Why the sudden desire to match-make?”

  Roman cleared his throat, drawing my gaze up to find him looking a tad bit red. “That would be my fault.”

  My stomach sank. Well that made sense. Roman had specifically told Lydia he wasn’t interested in me. It was a small miracle she’d actually held off for so long. She was insistent, though, and had apparently worn him down eventually. I could imagine her bringing it up for the millionth time and him finally agreeing just to get her to shut up and leave him alone. Yep, that made way more sense. I felt my body curl in on itself instinctually. I shoved another bite of pizza into my mouth and wondered how much longer I needed to stay in order to be polite. Rolling into bed after a long and miserable day was my sole goal now.

  “I didn’t mean that the way it came out,” Roman said quietly.

  I didn’t look up at him. I couldn’t. He kept talking, though.

  “When James and Lydia moved in, things between Jennifer and I were getting pretty bad. Sammy had just turned two. Before he was born we’d talked about Jen taking a break from acting for a while, staying local at least, until he was old enough for school. Pre-school, at least. My job was really demanding at the time and I knew I couldn’t be home with him if she was traveling.” Roman sighed and tossed the remainder of his pizza slice back onto his plate.

  “Jen couldn’t take being at home anymore. She told me she’d been offered a six month contract for a show in New York and she was taking it. No discussion. I tried to make it work. Lydia helped a lot, watching Sammy for me during the day, but at the end of the six months, Jen extended the contract without even talking to me about it and I was just done.” He leaned back in his chair, but kept his eyes down. “Maybe Jen was right and filing for divorce made me the bad guy. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. She didn’t want to have anything to do with me or Sammy, anymore, and telling my son that his mom was coming home soon when she wasn’t hurt him a lot. I couldn’t keep doing that to him. I couldn’t do it to myself anymore, either.”

  For a long
time, I just sat there. My gaze darted over to Sammy, playing happily with my nephews, and I honestly couldn’t understand how his mother would ever want to miss out on being a part of his life. Colby and Evan weren’t my children, but I loved them so much it felt like a little piece of my heart was left behind every time I went home. Sammy was a sweetheart, and it broke my heart to think about him as a tiny boy asking Roman when his mommy was coming back and not getting the answer he craved.

  Tears welled in my eyes and I fought to hold them back. “Roman, I’m so sorry.” He looked up and met my gaze, breaking my heart all over again when I saw the pain in them. “Jennifer was a fool for leaving you both.”

  He took in a deep breath, the kind that makes your whole body shudder. Then he shrugged and looked down again. “Anyway, after the split was official, Lydia brought up me getting out there and dating and I politely asked her not to bring it up again. I had a two year old to raise on my own and a construction business I was trying to build up. There wasn’t time for anything else. I couldn’t stomach the idea of bringing another woman into Sammy’s life, either. If it didn’t work out…I couldn’t do that to him.”

  “It says a lot about how much my sister cares about you that she actually backed off,” I said.

  Roman chuckled. “I think it just about killed her not to set me up, but I appreciated her holding back for so long. She’s a good friend.”

  She was a good sister, too, I admitted to myself. Even though I grumbled at her constantly for trying to set me up and tell me what I should be doing with my life, I knew she loved me. If I really wanted her to leave me alone about my love life, she would. The truth was, it was easier to let Lydia rail on me and set up awful dates than face having to navigate it all on my own. If it went badly, I could blame her. She was my excuse for not getting into a serious relationship.

  In the beginning, I’d just been busy with school. Lydia was four years older than me, done with college and already married and expecting Colby by the time I was venturing out on my own. School had always been easy for her, too. It wasn’t exactly a huge tribulation for me, but I struggled to stay focused after my dad passed away. Studying had always been a challenge and it only got worse. I had to fight for my grades even more after that. My dad would have wanted me to succeed. That didn’t leave much room for dating.

  Lydia kept her meddling to a minimum while I worked on my undergrad degree, but when I applied for a master’s program, she didn’t understand, and saw it as me trying to put off growing up a little longer. She was partly right, but I wasn’t about to admit that to her. Pressure from her to find a guy and start a family made me balk. It became a sore spot between us, one I felt she was continually poking.

  “Dad, Netflix isn’t working.”

  Sammy’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. Roman as well. We both jumped at the sound and turned our attention to the little guy. He offered the remote to his dad, but kept glancing at me. We hadn’t spoken to each other much this afternoon, but his adorable personality had won me over quickly. Now wasn’t any different as he tried not to smile at me and failed. I couldn’t help smiling back.

  “Do you want to watch a movie with us if my dad makes it work again?” His eyes were bright, hopeful.

  Roman started to say something, but I held up a few fingers to stop him. “What movie are you going to watch? Is it scary?”

  “No,” Sammy said forcefully. “I’m not allowed to watch scary movies at night. They give me bad dreams. It’s a movie about dinosaurs.” His head tilted to one side as he considered me. “Do you like dinosaurs?”

  “It’s my favorite exhibit at the museum, even more than the mummies.”

  A huge grin broke out on Sammy’s face. “It’s my favorite, too.” He turned to look up at his dad, who was now standing with the remote in his hand. “Dad, Miss Greenly likes dinosaurs, too.”

  “I heard that,” Roman said as he ruffled his hair. “Nobody will be watching dinosaurs unless I go see what’s wrong with Netflix, though.”

  He moved to go tackle whatever technical difficulties were stymieing the boys’ plans, but when Sammy’s hand darted in to grab mine, he reacted quickly. Snatching his son up into his arms, he held him dangling above me. “Careful of her hands, remember?”

  Sammy’s eyes widened. “Sorry, Miss Greenly. I forgot.”

  “It’s okay,” I said with a laugh. “I’m not that hurt.”

  Roman gave me a look that said he didn’t agree. I proved him wrong by standing up without assistance. Elbows worked to push you up from a chair just as well as hands. Roman waited until I gestured for him to lead the way before putting Sammy back down. Sammy immediately wrapped a hand around my forearm and mindfully led me the ten feet to the den. He then directed me to my seat and promptly took up position next to me. Colby squeezed in next to his friend and Evan launched himself onto my lap. I barely got my arms out of the way in time to avoid my scrapes being bumped.

  When he saw me holding my arms above him, he grimaced. “Sorry, Auntie Greenly. I forgot.”

  “It’s okay, bud, but no jumping on people or couches anyway, okay?” He nodded and nestled against me.

  “Just needed an update,” Roman said, still facing the TV as he navigated through menus to get the service going again. A few minutes later, the software was ready to go and Roman went straight for his son’s favorite show. All three boys cheered when it started. Roman turned to laugh at them, but stopped when his eyes fell on the boys piled around me.

  “I guess we’re all watching the movie together then?” he said.

  “Guess so.”

  My gaze automatically went to the empty spot next to me and a horde of conflicting emotions erupted as I thought about him taking it. Roman’s thoughts seemed to be going in the same direction until Sammy nuzzled his head under my arm. I could see Roman swallow hard, and I had no idea how to interpret that. Was he annoyed I’d let Sammy get so close? He’d just told me he wasn’t interested in letting his son get attached to another woman who might not stick around.

  Panicked, I tried to move my arm away from Sammy, but Roman shook his head and moved to the couch. He hesitated a moment when he reached the empty seat. My pulse jumped again and I silently wished he’d sit on the loveseat instead. I couldn’t tell if he was mad, or just anxious, when he finally sat down next to me. I was stiff as a board.

  “Everyone comfortable?” Roman asked. His voice sounded perfectly average, but when he looked at me there was a strained undercurrent of emotion in his expression.

  I’m sorry, I mouthed, tipping my head in Sammy’s direction.

  Roman shook his head in a slight gesture. His fingers brushed against my arm, a touch so full of comfort I felt myself relax despite my lingering anxiety. He reached across me and Evan to ruffle Sammy’s hair. The boy looked up, smiling a crooked smile, before leaning his head against me again. His attention went back to the show without pause.

  I sincerely hoped Roman wasn’t upset with me. I was so focused on that hope I didn’t immediately realize his arm didn’t pull back the way it had come. Instead, he lifted it over my head and settled on the back of the couch. Right behind my head. My senses went into overdrive. I tried to tell myself he was just getting comfortable. This was probably how he always sat on his couch. Nothing to do with me at all. I was probably just in the way. I shifted, trying to move away from his arm, but with the boys so close, all I managed to do was bump my head into his arm.

  “Sorry,” Roman said quietly, “is my arm bothering you right here?”

  “No,” I squeaked.

  The corner of his mouth turned up, like he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t move his arm. Not where I was hoping he would, anyway. Instead of pulling back, Roman shifted and brought his arm down behind me with his hand resting on my shoulder. I couldn’t breathe. I seriously couldn’t breathe. Panic that I was going to pass out and squash Evan forced me to get control of myself.

  Practicin
g some yoga breathing, I shoved calm into my breaths. My body relaxed on instinct even though my mind was whirring. As soon as Roman felt my shoulders drop, I realized he was just as tense as I was, because his body responded in kind. We both seemed to sink into the couch a little more and just breathe.

  The dinosaurs that had first graced the screen back when I was a child still managed to entertain the boys for almost two hours. I’d seen the show so many times I knew the story by heart, but as the credits began to roll I realized I hadn’t paid attention to hardly a minute of it. I was too focused on Roman. It was a huge relief when the boys began pleading for another movie and he pulled away.

  Without asking my opinion on the matter, Roman gave in and started another show for the boys. He surprised me even further when he said, “You guys are on your own for this one, though. Greenly and I are going to sit out on the deck for a while.”

  We were?

  Roman left the room, but I didn’t move. My gaze followed him as he checked the lock on the front door and then walked back to me. He reached for Evan first. Grabbing him up off my lap, Roman nibbled at him playfully before dropping the giggling boy back onto the couch with a happy bounce. Sammy, he tackled next. By this point the little guy’s arms were wrapped around my waist. His grip tightened when Roman tried to exact him, giggling as he held on as tightly as he could.

  “No,” Sammy said through his laughter. “Let Miss Greenly stay. I want her to stay!”

  “I can’t borrow her for a few minutes?” Roman asked.

  “No,” Sammy said. “She has to stay here with me.”

  Roman’s teasing lessened and his expression grew more serious. “Why?”

  If Sammy noticed the change in his father’s demeanor, he didn’t show it. He was still smiling and clinging to me as he spoke. “Because she’s nice and pretty and fun, like Miss Lydia, but she actually likes dinosaurs and Colby said she likes Minecraft, too. I want her to stay.”

  The corners of Roman’s mouth tugged up. He looked up at me, smiling. “Do you? Like Minecraft?”

  Feeling childish, I could only shrug. “It’s oddly addicting.”

  Now Roman laughed, all his earlier edginess gone. He shook his head at me, but turned back to Sammy. “How about I borrow Greenly for a little while and then she’ll come back, okay?”

  Sammy sighed. “Fine. But you have to promise.”

  At first I thought he was talking to Roman, but realized he was looking straight up at me. “Oh, yes. I’ll come back. Promise.”

  Smiling widely, Sammy finally relinquished his hold on me looking rather satisfied. Roman reached down to help me and I hesitated a moment when I spotted the exact same expression on his face. What, exactly, had I just agreed to? Before I could figure it out, Roman grasped my forearm and helped me up from the couch. I expected him to let go then, and he did, but his hand immediately went to my back, instead of away from my body.

  I didn’t say a word as he guided me toward the back of the house. As soon as we neared the sliding glass door, Thor jumped up on it, panting and slobbering. His antics eased down my fears enough that I was able to walk through to the deck when Roman pulled the door back. Thor was on me in an instant. I felt bad not being able to pet him. Roman made up for it with a playful greeting of petting and wrestling. I skirted around them to a deck chair and noticed Roman had left the door open. I started to stand and close it, but he waved me off.

  “Just in case the boys need something, I can hear them from here.”

  “Thor’s going to…” Before I could finish my sentence, Thor darted into the house to find his playmates.

  Roman just laughed. “It’s fine. He’s over here all the time with the boys. Sammy loves it.”

  I was glad to hear the puppy was as loved here as he was at Lydia’s house. I could hear the boys giggling through the open door as they played with Thor and felt myself relaxing. The temperature had cooled considerably. Combined with the peacefulness of the backyard, it felt amazing. My eyes closed and I let myself enjoy it for a few minutes.

  “Greenly,” Roman asked hesitantly, “do you mind if I ask you something?”

  Caught off guard by the fear in his voice, I was immediately on edge. I sat up and was about to stumble over an answer I hadn’t quite decided on yet when my phone started to ring from my back pocket. Startled and relieved, I struggled to get at it with my gimpy fingers. Only fear that Roman would try to help me made me bear through the stinging and get a hold of it.

  “It’s my sister,” I said with equal parts resignation and relief. “She’s probably calling to check on the boys. Sorry, do you mind?”

  Truth be told, Roman looked a little relieved as well. “Of course not. I’ll go make sure Thor isn’t eating my couch and give you some privacy.”

  He disappeared soon after that and I slid my finger across the screen, knowing my sister would have a million questions and not having an answer to a single one of them.