Part of me wondered if Roman felt silly having to pick me up from my sister’s house like he did his seven-year-old son. Neither one of them would even let me cross the street on my own. He thought he was coming for the both of us, but didn’t seem all that disappointed when he only got me as his prize.
Closing and locking the door behind us, Roman looked at me and said, “Well, go out or stay in?” He stepped away from the door and grabbed my hips so he could pull me against him. “I think we both know what your sister was intending with this plot, but if you’d like to get out of the house, I’d be more than happy to take you to dinner.”
“Even though it would be nice to get out of the house, staying here with you sounds infinitely more appealing. I vote for ordering in.”
Roman grinned. “Order in, it is.” He kissed me full on the mouth before taking his phone from his pocket and posing a new question. “How does Italian sound?”
“Perfect.”
I left him to order the food in favor of taking a shower. An afternoon of homework may not sound taxing, but I felt a little drained and was in need of a pick me up. Lydia said she would keep Sammy until bed time, which gave us three whole hours of alone time. I didn’t want to squander away our time in the shower, but I did take enough time to shave my legs. Getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup were a little more rushed as I knew the food would arrive soon. Even so, I thought I looked good enough to steal Roman’s focus, even with my clunky, new cast.
Walking into the dining room, I breathed in the scent of rich alfredo and Italian spices. Roman smiling at me as he dished everything onto plates managed to steal the show, despite the fact that I really was hungry. “Everything looks great,” I said, my eyes more on him than the food.
Roman pulled out my chair, smiling the kind of smile that said he wasn’t all that concerned with food, either. Once he’d taken his seat, he looked over at me, his gaze seeming to settle there like it had no plans of moving. “As much as I love Sammy, I could almost kiss your sister for offering to watch him tonight.”
Chuckling, I said, “I’m sure she’d rather you saved the kissing for me. Although, if you offered to wash her hair…” I let my words trail off, teasing, and enjoying the blush that crept up Roman’s neck. Lydia had made a not-so-under-her-breath comment over the weekend about him washing my hair, and when he’d asked, I’d been honest and told him what Lydia had said about that. He’d blush then, too, at the thought of my sister saying anything he did was sexy.
“Kissing and hair washing are strictly reserved for you alone,” Roman said, face still red.
Smiling, I said, “Good to hear.”
Deciding to give him a break, I took a bite of my penne and let the delicious flavors roll over my tongue. Roman seemed to know all the best takeout places. I suspected that was largely because after Jen left he was at a loss in the kitchen and ended up ordering in quite a bit before his mother came to help clean up the mess Jen had left and taught Roman to cook. She’d done a good job with the basics. Roman could make all the essentials and a few more elaborate meals, but they still ate out most nights of the week.
Lydia, on the other hand, was a domestic goddess in the kitchen. She pretty much had to be after my mom died, because my dad could burn water and we all would have starved if she hadn’t stepped up. Every lesson she learned in the kitchen, she drilled into me as well. Even though Roman kept trying to make me rest, he and Sammy both seemed to appreciate my willingness to cook. I’d always enjoyed cooking, but it was a much different experience cooking for Sammy and Roman than it was just making small meals for myself, one I truly enjoyed.
“Can I ask you something?”
I looked up to find Roman peering at me curiously. The last time he’d asked me that question, we’d gotten into a fight and then ended up making out in his bedroom. “Sure.”
“Why does blood bother you so much?” He took another bite of his food and didn’t press me to answer. I knew that if I said it was too personal to talk about, he’d back off. While it wasn’t an easy thing for me to get into, I didn’t take the easy way out.
Setting my fork down, I asked, “How much has Lydia told you about our mom?”
“Not much, just that she died when you two were little, some kind of blood disorder.” His tone made it clear he wasn’t prying, just curious.
Swallowing the difficult emotions talking about her brought up, I made myself answer. “She had a condition where her body attacked the platelets in her blood. You need platelets to stop bleeding. Since she had so few, when she would get a cut, it would bleed more than usual and for a longer time. If she bumped into something, she’d get bruises no matter how light the impact was. She’d get nosebleeds all the time, and bleeding under her skin that looked like this horrible rash. She always had to be careful and she was back and forth in the hospital and doctor’s offices all the time.”
“I can only imagine how upsetting that would be for a child,” Roman said.
I frowned, not sure how to respond to that. “Well, it was normal for us, I guess. Mom always had to be extremely careful, and she couldn’t do things with us that a lot of other moms did, but we understood why.”
“But still, I understand why you don’t like being around blood. That’s a lot for a kid to deal with.”
For a long time, I didn’t say anything. I could leave it at that. It was answer enough, I supposed. Except it wasn’t the real answer, not all of it. “I was seven when my mom died. Lydia was eleven. I hadn’t been feeling good, flu or something. Lydia was at school. I was in bed, exhausted from throwing up for two days, but I heard a loud crash and jumped out of bed,” I said quietly. “I knew that if Mom had fallen, she’d need help, and maybe a doctor. I knew how to call 911, so I ran for her.”
Roman reached over and took my hand. The comfort his touch provided let me continue when I didn’t think I could have otherwise. “I didn’t know what had happened, because there wasn’t any blood or bruises this time. She wouldn’t wake up, though, so I called 911 like I’d been taught and held her hand while the lady on the phone talked to me and told me how brave I was being. I didn’t feel brave. I was terrified. I knew one day my mom would probably die, but not then, not when I was so young.
“They took me in the ambulance with her because they hadn’t been able to reach my dad yet. I didn’t see him until they had taken my mom away at the hospital and a nurse let me sit at her desk. When he ran up to the desk asking for my mom, I threw myself at him. He held me, but I don’t think he even felt my weight in his arms.” I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice calm so I could finish. “I heard the doctor tell my dad that my mom had died on the way to the hospital. There had been a hemorrhage in her brain and by the time they got to her, there wasn’t anything they could do. I didn’t know what all of that meant at the time, but I did understand that my mom had died while I was holding her hand and no one told me.”
Blinking back tears, I did my best to breathe and bring my emotions under control. “I was actually okay with blood before that, believe it or not. It doesn’t even make sense that I’m so sensitive to it now since there wasn’t any blood when she died.” I shrugged, because I really couldn’t explain it. “For weeks after she died, every time I thought of her, I remembered how I’d been in bed, throwing up, while her brain had been bleeding, slowly killing her. I guess maybe I felt a little responsible, which I know is crazy, but after that I couldn’t stand to be around blood or vomit or anything that reminded me of being sick or at a doctor’s office.”
“Wow, Greenly, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine Sammy having to deal with something like that. You were only seven and you stayed calm and did everything you could to help your mom. I don’t think anyone would blame you for shying away from blood after something like that.” Roman squeezed my hand, bolstering my flagging strength and warming me with his love.
Looking down at my half-eaten meal, I realized I wasn’t very hungry
anymore. Then I felt guilty. Glancing back up at Roman, I said, “I guess I kind of killed the mood.”
Smiling gently, Roman shook his head. “No, you’re just letting me get to know you better. You amaze me.”
I would normally roll my eyes at that sort of comment, but I knew how much he meant it. My personal opinion was that he severely outranked me in amazingness, but saying so would only earn me a shake of his head. “Now it’s my turn to ask you a question,” I said. “Why have you put up with so much craziness when it comes to me?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, clearly referring to Jen the Monster Ex.
“My answer is easy. I asked you first.”
Roman quirked an eyebrow at me. “Your answer is easy? I have to hear it now.” He gave me a look that said he wouldn’t budge until I did.
“Fine, but then it’s your turn.” My stalwart expression made it clear I wasn’t kidding. “Thanks largely to Lydia, my entire dating life has been spent learning exactly what I don’t want in a guy and in a relationship. When I got to know you and stopped being mad at Lydia for playing games, it was easy to recognize what I did want, and you’re it.”
Grinning, Roman tried to distract me with a kiss, but I pulled back and pointed a finger at him. “Uh, uh. Your turn. And you have to be honest.”
Sighing dramatically, Roman gave in. “I have stuck around through broken bones and stalkers because you aren’t the center of your own world. Other people’s needs and feelings mean something to you, and you’re willing to put them above your own when someone else needs you. I don’t think you understand how much I respect and admire that about you.”
For a few seconds, I couldn’t respond. I knew the message behind his words was that Jen hadn’t been capable of any of those things. Yet, it wasn’t simply that I was the opposite of her, and logical replacement. Roman saw goodness in other people, and believed that if you loved someone you should be willing to sacrifice for them. I respected the way he loved and cared so deeply about Sammy and honestly wanted to be a good dad. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried to be a good person, and it affected me deeply that he saw all those same things in me.
I thought I’d ruined the moment after telling him about my mom, but he had brought it back. I leaned forward and kissed him softly. Which turned into something deeper. Lydia’s original plan to introduce us had a few speed bumps along the way, but eventually worked out. I figured she must have been getting better at plotting, because this plan worked out even better.
The Crazy Girl's Handbook Page 26