Take Me for Granted

by K. A. Linde

  No. I hadn’t wanted that kiss. Well, a part of me had, a drunk part of me, but I’d stopped it.

  God, there are too many things to think about. I didn’t want to go rushing over to Grant’s house like a dog with my tail between my legs. We had a lot to talk about. The few weeks of us being apart had felt like an eternity, and at this point, there was so much that needed to be said. It felt like we’d built a wall between us, and I wasn’t sure how ready I was to climb that. It might be easier to try to tear it down with my bare hands.

  Deciding that O-chem took precedence over my floundering love life, I drove to the library in a hurry. I found the study group with ease, but I stopped myself from joining them at the last minute. Not only did I not want to have to deal with teaching the group instead of actually learning anything myself…Kristin was with them.

  Her mousy brown hair was in a braid over her shoulder, and she was tugging on it as she flirted with some guy from our class. Disgust washed over me. Did the girl never stop?

  I hated that I kept seeing her…that I would continue to see her. We had organic chemistry together as well as molecular biology and calc IV. I seriously couldn’t escape the conniving bitch.

  Backpedaling, I found a secluded spot on the same level and pulled out my assignment. I quickly got lost in the equations before me. I was finishing up the assignment, my head buried in my book, when I heard someone clear her throat next to me.

  I glanced up and groaned. “What do you want?”

  “Hey, Aribel,” Kristin said, rocking back and forth on her toes. “I thought you might have been at the study session.”

  “Well, I wasn’t. And you’re free to go now.”

  “Mind if I take a seat?” She gestured to the chair in front of me.

  “Yes, I do mind,” I snapped.

  “Is someone else meeting you?”

  “If this is you trying to get to Grant, then you can turn around right now and leave. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. Just leave me alone.”

  “This isn’t…I mean, that’s not why I’m here,” she said hastily.

  “Then, why are you here? Simply to annoy me?”

  “No!” she cried. She quickly glanced around and lowered her voice as she said, “I came to apologize.”

  “What for? Being a slutbag whore? Or did you do something else to me that I don’t know about?”

  Kristin pulled out the chair and sat down, ignoring the fact that I hadn’t given her permission to do so. “I know I deserve that.”

  “You think?”

  “Yes,” she said flatly. “I just…I acted like a crazy person. I don’t even know what was wrong with me. I was just so set on hooking up with Grant, and I felt so slighted that he didn’t want me…that he wanted you.”

  “Oh, yes, that’s a great way to apologize—dismiss the fact that Grant could want me! I’m just the girl who thinks she’s better than everyone else, right?”

  “I’m sorry,” Kristin said earnestly. “And I know that you have no reason to forgive me. I don’t expect you to, but I am sorry.”

  I shrugged. I wanted out of this conversation. I wanted her to leave me alone. “You’re right. You have no reason to be forgiven. You accomplished your mission anyway. Grant and I aren’t together.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Why do you think?” I asked. I started putting my papers back together. The assignment was basically completed. I just needed to get out of here.

  “Because of what I did? But nothing happened. He didn’t even touch me.”

  “Whatever, Kristin. I don’t know what made you have a change of heart in the last couple of weeks, but I don’t want to hear it. Just leave me alone.”

  “All right. I just saw what happened at the New Year’s Eve show.”

  My mood darkened. I didn’t want to talk about that either. “About what?”

  “Him saying that he loves you. I thought it was really romantic. It’s what made me see how wrong I’ve been,” she whispered.

  I sighed and closed my eyes, remembering how I’d felt when Grant had dedicated “Life Raft”— shocked, excited, hopeful. Then, I’d gone backstage to find out Grant had left with someone else. But the guys had said that wasn’t the case. They’d said he hadn’t cheated on me. And I just didn’t know what to believe.

  My head hurt, and my heart hurt. My whole world felt like it was crashing down around me. There was only one person who could pick up the pieces, only one person with the answers I needed. I was tired of hiding. I needed to go find Grant.

  “Thanks, Kristin,” I said, shooting out of my seat.

  “Wh-what?” she asked, surprised.

  “I have to go talk to Grant. I mean…he loves me. He basically said he loves me, right?”

  “I mean, yeah…I assumed that’s what he meant when he dedicated the song. He’s definitely never said anything like that onstage before.”

  Yeah, and she would know since she was a groupie. The anger flared up in me again, but I pushed it back down. There was nothing I could do about that right now. I just needed to find Grant.

  “I don’t forgive you for what you did,” I told her bluntly. “But thank you for apologizing and for reminding me.”

  “Um…you’re welcome.”

  Then, I was dashing out of the building and through the parking lot to my car. I drove recklessly to Grant’s apartment. I knew he’d be alone since all the guys were at my place, but that nagging suspicion crept up in me, wondering if maybe he wouldn’t be alone. I tried to squash that. I could only deal with that when the time came. There was no use in worrying about it now.

  The lights were out, and Grant’s truck was missing when I arrived, but I decided to try knocking anyway. When he didn’t answer, I slumped back against the door in defeat. I didn’t know where else he could be. He could be anywhere really. It would probably be best just to call him and find a place for us to meet up. But I wasn’t going to do that tonight.

  I had a hunch about his whereabouts, and even though it felt totally insane because he really could be anywhere, I still started up my car and followed my gut instincts.

  “This fucking sucks,” I grumbled into the wind.

  I rested my hands on my knees as I sat on the blanket, and I stared out at the ocean. My foot absentmindedly kicked at the cold sand. I’d brought extra blankets with me, but I was just suffering through the icy temperatures.

  After threatening Donovan and getting thrown from the party, I’d driven straight down the shore. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. My friends were hanging out at Ari’s apartment, a place where I didn’t belong. I didn’t want to be in Princeton where I could sit around and be miserable. The only place I ever wanted to think was the beach. And I had a lot to think about.

  I hadn’t been out here long, but already, I was questioning if it was helping any. A lot of demons were chasing me, and none of this was making it any better. I suddenly wished that I’d brought a bottle out with me or at least a joint. Any of my old vices would have done the trick. Anything to numb the pain, but I didn’t have anything with me. I’d more or less given everything up cold turkey when Ari had walked out.

  I just had the sand, the water, the moon, and a million tiny stars to mock me. Congratulations on ruining your entire life, fuck up. You’re a good-for-nothing, worthless waste of space. How you managed to get this far in life, we’ll never understand.

  I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts, dropped back onto the blanket, and threw my arms over my face. Maybe I’ll just sleep out here. Hypothermia sounds preferable to this shit.

  Footsteps echoed in the sand behind me. Hopefully, it wasn’t a cop who was going to tell me to get the fuck off the beach. That would just be my luck.

  I thought the person had passed by until a shadow fell over me. There wasn’t much light out here, but there was enough to know someone was standing over me.

  I dropped my hands and started to sit up to explain to the cop that I was going to le
ave, but I just stopped everything I was doing and stared.

  “Ari,” I whispered. My voice was strained.

  She was here.

  How?

  No. This didn’t make any sense.

  She was a vision, a beautiful ethereal vision.

  Before I knew what was happening, I scrambled to my feet and reached my hand out to touch her cheek. Her skin was warm beneath my icy fingers, and she shivered. Oh God, she’s real. She was so soft, and fuck did I want her. It wasn’t just physical need either. I wanted to fuck her, but I wanted her. I just wanted to pull her into my arms and know that she wasn’t fucking going anywhere.

  “Hey, Grant,” Aribel finally murmured.

  “How did you know I would be here?”

  “I didn’t.” She sighed softly. “Can I sit with you?”

  “Sure.” I gestured for her to take a seat on the blanket. “So…if you didn’t know I’d be here, why did you come?”

  “I just had a feeling, and I needed to talk to you.”

  “So, now, you can talk to me?” I didn’t know why those words had left my mouth, but I couldn’t help it. I’d pounded down her door. I’d been messaging her for weeks. She hadn’t said a word. Now, she was just showing up with no explanation? Fuck that.

  “Yes,” she snapped. “Now, I can talk to you.”

  “How did that space work out for you, Princess? You have a good time? Go to any fancy parties?” Yeah, I was pretty much purposely antagonizing her. I had no fucking clue why.

  “Would you shut up?”

  “Not likely, darlin’. You drove all the way out here to see me. You’re going to have to sit here and have a conversation with me.”

  “This isn’t a conversation! This is us yelling at each other again!”

  “Well, I’m just trying to figure out why it was so damn hard for you to use your fucking phone in the last three weeks. Is it broken? Did you not get any of my messages?”

  “No, my phone is not broken! I just needed some space. I believe I told you that.”

  “I didn’t think space meant you were going to ignore all your problems for three fucking weeks.”

  “And I didn’t think space meant that you were going to go and fuck someone else!”

  I snorted. “That’s good coming from you.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” she shouted.

  “You fucked Donovan, Princess! Did you think he wouldn’t tell me?”

  “Now, you are being ridiculous!” Her hurricane blue eyes were so dark, and she looked fucking shocked at my suggestion. “When would I have slept with Donovan? And even if I had the opportunity, you think I’d just sleep with anyone?”

  “How the hell am I supposed to know? You disappear without a word for three weeks, and then I get wind that you slept with Donovan. To be honest, I beat the shit out of him for it.”

  “He deserved the ass-beating. He kissed me, but I didn’t sleep with him!” she cried. “I would never sleep with someone I just met. But you would…and did on New Year’s.”

  It was my turn to look shocked. “Why does everyone keep saying that? I didn’t sleep with anyone on New Year’s. And how would you even know if I had?”

  “I was there.”

  “At the show?” I asked in disbelief.

  She nodded. “I came backstage to find you after…well, after you stormed offstage, but you were already gone. Donovan and some Hollis guy told me that you’d left with someone else.”

  I grabbed her hands in mine and forced her to look at me. “And you just fucking believed them? You didn’t think to call me?”

  “I wouldn’t want to interrupt your good time,” she said darkly.

  “I was fucking miserable without you. I wanted to give you the space you’d asked for, but I fucking wanted you with me every goddamn second you were away, Ari. I don’t know what else I can say to prove that to you.”

  The truth was that there wasn’t anything else I could say. She either knew, or she didn’t. And right then, looking into her eyes on our beach…she knew. She’d come here for me. She fucking wanted me. She had said that she had fallen for me completely. That shit hadn’t gone away in three weeks.

  My lips dropped onto hers before she had a chance to reply. There was no hesitation on her part. She kissed me right back as hard as she possibly could while grabbing my jacket tightly between her fingers. Her lips were like a double shot of espresso to my exhausted system.

  The energy crackled between us, heating the crisp night air. There was too much space and decidedly too much clothing between us. The weeks of pent-up frustration was colliding into this one moment, and neither of us could keep our hands off the other. I just wanted to touch her, feel her, consume her, bury myself in her. I needed her. I fucking needed all of her.

  My lips moved to her neck greedily as I pushed her back onto the blanket. Her fingers deftly dragged the zipper down on my jacket. She was already shaking from the cold or from what we were doing, so I threw the remaining blankets over us. My hands found the waistline of her jeans, and after unzipping them, I dragged them down her legs.

  “Shit!” she hissed. “It’s cold.”

  “Not for long, Princess.”

  I trailed my hands down her legs until I found her waiting opening. I circled my fingers around her and then finger-fucked her pussy until she was all warmed up for me. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I wasn’t exactly patient. She squirmed underneath me until her breathing turned labored, and I felt her walls tightening all around me. Fuck, that’s hot.

  She was so damn close to an orgasm, and I knew that I was going to push her right over the edge any minute. As I circled her clit, she came undone at my insistence.

  “Grant…”

  “I know, babe,” I said before covering her mouth with mine. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

  Her eyes were wide. She wanted what I was offering, but a spark of fear still crept into her features. Everything about her was fucking hot. Just the way she had her mouth opened slightly like that made me want to shove my dick down her throat. But it was too cold, and I wanted her around me—hot and wet and tight.

  I slipped on a condom, and without warning, I thrust forward inside her. She yelped as she expanded to fit me. Fucking hell, she feels so fucking amazing. Everything else paled in comparison. There was only Ari and me.

  My fingers locked in her hair, and as I slowly slid out of her, I brushed my lips against her. “Princess, open your eyes.”

  She complied, and those big blue eyes stared up at me.

  I started up a steady rhythm. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

  “Okay,” she whispered throatily.

  “Because I’m not going to be gentle.”

  Her eyes widened as I took what was mine, and I slammed back into her, hard. She made a small cry, but she didn’t tell me to stop. And I had no plans to. Our bodies met over and over as I picked up the pace. I could tell that I was close to coming, but I needed to hold out long enough for her. I could hold out for her second orgasm…even if it felt like I might explode any second.

  “Fuck, Ari.”

  “Grant,” she breathed.

  “Louder,” I encouraged, and I thrust into her harder.

  “Oh God,” she cried a little louder.

  “My name. Scream my name.”

  She bit on her lip, so I slammed into her again and again until her eyes rolled back into her head, and she really was calling out my name. She probably didn’t even know how loud she was.

  Fuck, I couldn’t hold out any longer. I came as soon as I felt her walls contracting around me.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said, leaning over Ari. I shuddered, and then I was spent.

  Her breathing was ragged, and to my surprise, so was mine.

  I pushed her hair out of her face, kissed her lips lightly, and sighed. “I love you.”

  She smiled up at me in a dreamy haze. “I love you, too.”

  After our escapade, we retreated back to Duffie�
�s for warmth. Grant still had keys to the restaurant. He started a fire in the fireplace, dropped the blankets down on the ground, and snuggled us up in front of it. There was so much that needed to be said, yet…it felt right. Things felt right again.

  It wasn’t just the sex. But holy shit, the sex…

  My body flushed from just thinking about what had happened outside. As cold as I was, my whole body was also super heated with energy. I’d come here to talk to Grant, and somehow, he’d just unraveled all my plans. Now, we had to decide where to go from here.

  Grant’s mouth found mine again, and just when I thought we might have a repeat performance, he pulled back and just stared into my eyes. There was longing, pain, desperation, and desire all rolled into one.

  “Ari, about what happened at the lodge…”

  “No, you don’t have to say anything,” I said quickly. “Kristin told me nothing happened.”

  “I don’t mean about that. I mean, about what I said. I was so angry, and you just laid out every reason I’d been telling myself why I didn’t deserve you. I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t begrudge you the good life you had growing up. You deserve everything that you have. I love your fucking mouth, and I love how smart you are. I’d never change that because those are the things that made me fall in love with you in the first place.”

  I smiled slowly and then glanced down. “I shouldn’t have said you were worthless. That’s not fair to you. You are ambitious. It’s just not what I’d been raised to believe ambition was.” Henry’s face appeared before my eyes, and I shuddered.

  “I’ve actually been thinking a lot about what you said, and on some level, I think you’re right. I’ve been coasting most of my life because of what happened. It consumed me, and I never let myself get past it. And…I might not be the CEO of a company, but I got a job.”

  “You did?” My mouth dropped open. I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised, but I’d just never thought about Grant working. “Doing what?”

  “Working at a recording studio. It’s not a big deal right now, but I like the work. Plus, I wanted to do better, be more for you.”