by E. Jamie
So he agreed to take the time off. Anything to avoid looking at her lying face.
Even though he knew that face would follow him into his dreams, because she always did.
****
He was thirteen years old when he first saw her. Sitting outside of the principal's office in faded jeans and a yellow tank top, she held a purple cloth wrapped around what he guessed was ice to her eye. He stood there for a moment, hand poised to grab the silver doorknob, but he couldn’t make himself do it just yet.
Caleb McKinney was late, thanks to his brother, who’d insisted that he could not leave the house without his dad's leather jacket despite the fact that it was about ninety degrees that day and the jacket was about three sizes too big for him.
“Whatcha lookin' at?” The soft but curt voice jarred him, and Caleb realized he was staring at her.
“What happened to your eye?” he replied when he found his voice. She was kinda pretty, he noticed. But not like Kelly McGrath, whom he had a mad crush on. Kelly McGrath was so pretty, with long, dark hair that she liked to wear in a single braid down her back. She wore pretty dresses with flowers on them sometimes.
This girl's blonde hair was too short, coming just barely past her ears in a cut Caleb was convinced she’d done herself.
“None of your business, Rich Boy,” she snapped, and he stiffened.
He took a deep breath to push down the burn of resentment and forced himself to turn the doorknob and leave her. He hoped her eye hurt. A lot.
****
He spent the next few days recuperating at his mom’s house upstate. Caleb told himself it was because he needed the rest, and he also knew how offended Caroline McKinney would be if she found out her son was in his apartment hobbling around and hadn’t asked for his mother to take care of him.
That it put that much more distance between him and Laura was just a bonus.
He should have known things would never be quite that simple. He sat eating lunch at his mother’s round maple table. She shut off the faucet when the phone rang and turned to him with a look of such white-faced surprise that Caleb felt a surge of both excitement and dread, knowing right then who was on the other end.
“That was…um… Oh dear,” Caroline said, bringing a hand to her mouth, her brown eyes wide.
“What did she want?” he snapped, his heart racing, the tuna in his mouth now tasteless. He took a long gulp of beer, trying to swallow.
“She…wants to come visit.”
Caleb raised an eyebrow. “Oh she does, does she? After ten goddamned years? After everything you did for her and her walking out on not just me but you like you were nothing, and you just say yes, she can come? What the hell are you thinking, Mom?”
His mother stiffened. “I’m thinking you should watch your language in my house, young man.”
Chastised, Caleb looked away from his mother. “I can’t believe you’re just ready to welcome her back here like nothing’s happened.”
Caroline sighed and placed the pale yellow hand towel on the handle of the black-topped stainless steel oven door. She took a seat across from her son. “You’re forgetting that she’s going to be working with you on this new case. She likely knows you’re up here recuperating and wants to make peace.”
He finished his beer and began picking off the label. “You always had a soft spot for her.”
“So did you.”
“Yeah, well, I sure as shi—” He caught himself in time and shook his head. “Won’t make that mistake again.”
“Caleb, no one knew better than us what that young woman went through before she was finally taken away from that horrible mother of hers to live with her grandmother.”
“Oh, Ma. Come on! A crappy childhood doesn’t excuse what she did.” He leapt up off of his beige cushioned seat, fury boiling through his veins as the old wounds threatened to reopen. “She’d been out of her mother’s house for years. She was living in her own place over Greeley’s garage, and we were talking about getting married, for Christ’s sake. Then all of a sudden. Poof! She’s gone, with nothing left but a fucking note!” he cried. He waited for his mother to jump on him for cussing, but she just looked sad, and somehow that was worse.
“Very well, Caleb. But now she’s back. You must be curious to hear what possible explanation she has. I think it says much for her that she wants to come here and face you, knowing how you’re going to react.”
“I cared ten years ago. I don’t give a damn now,” Caleb replied, stuffing his hands in his jeans so his mother wouldn’t see them trembling. “I’m leaving tonight and going back to my apartment. Then I’m telling Morrison to reassign either me or her to another case, because there is no way in hell I’m working with her.”
Caroline stared at him and pursed her lips before crossing her arms over her chest. “My son the liar and the coward. Never thought I’d see the day. You will do no such thing. You are going to stay right here and listen to what that poor girl has to say. Then if you still want to leave, you can go with my blessing.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but the determination in his mother’s brown eyes warned him not to test her. “Fine. I’ll stay. But only because you’re making me.”
“Of course. It certainly won’t be because you want to hear what Laura has to say or because you want to see her again.”
He swore under his breath and walked out of the kitchen to the backyard to get some air and figure out how the hell he was going to look into Laura Thatcher’s face and not commit murder.
****
He’d forgotten his cell phone charger in the car. Caleb got only as far as the front door when he saw her, sitting in the driveway in a light brown car. She jumped in the driver’s seat when she saw him, her eyes going wide.
Caleb watched her close her eyes and ease out of the car, her gaze locking on him
Oh God. She’s so beautiful! That was the first thought that ripped through his chest when her green eyes meet his. Her hair was shorter than he remembered, coming just to her shoulders. He recalled running his fingers through the long mass while they made love. She wore a baby blue t-shirt stretched across breasts that used to drive him insane.
Used to.
No longer. Yet he couldn’t stop drinking her in. Her jeans were snug but looked comfortable, and he could make out tight, toned thighs. For a second, Caleb could almost still feel those smooth thighs, sliding along his, and he forced himself to push that memory aside.
“Laura.” He spat the word out like a curse and a plea all at the same time.
His voice panted her name in her ear, soft and urgent while he pushed into her. Laura...Laura...Laura...
“Caleb. Hi.” She forced out the sounds through choking breath.
Her nails dug into his back, moving upwards to press him deeper into her body. Caleb...Caleb...Caleb...
Caleb's eyes stayed on hers.
“Is it this way with other couples, do you think? Do you think they feel this too, Caleb?”
He watched her catch sight of his car, and she gasped. He knew she recognized it.
The rain was pouring on them, but they didn’t care. Laura bit into the soaked yellow fabric covering his shoulder. “Someone is gonna catch...oh my God...like that...oh God...” Her body slid desperately, pulling at Caleb's hips as he thrust, surging up into her with hard, deep movements. He leaned down to kiss her, her mouth wet and warm, her skin damp and steaming.
“Uh… Is your mom home?” she asked, jolting Caleb from his thoughts for a moment.
“So we're like...kinda official now, right?” a sixteen-year-old Caleb asked, spread out on the carpet next to her.
Laura looked up from her textbook. “I dunno. Do you want to be?”
“Yeah.”
She leaned over and kissed him softly. “Me too.”
“Uh. Yeah,” he replied, trying to settle on any one of the dozens of emotions running through him. He felt rage, desire, uncertainty, sadness, panic. He’d thought for sure that
when he saw her he would unload years of rage on her, but having her mere steps away from him now, Caleb had no idea what to say or do. Instead he turned away, forgetting what he’d come outside to get, and didn’t look behind him to see if she was following.
He could feel her eyes on him while they walked into the house.
That mouth. Caleb remembered what that mouth used to do to him. How hot and soft it was.
“Laura, you don't have to... Oh my God...” Caleb arched off the seat when she slid her lips down over him. Heat, explosive and intense, raced through every nerve ending to gather right there, and Caleb clenched his eyes shut tight because to watch her would make him come all that much sooner.
She followed him into the living room and wouldn’t really look at him. She was still so damned beautiful. But her body was a little different. Tighter, yet rounder in places, and oh my God, her breasts. He tore his eyes away and forced his desire back to rage. He watched the nervous look on his mother's face when she came into the living room and hugged Laura before gesturing toward the pale green-and-white striped couch.
“Can I get you something to drink? Beer?”
“Ah, hell, Ma. You should let Laura just take a look in the fridge and pick something out herself. She's practically family, isn't that right?” Caleb asked, dropping an arm on the back of the couch, dangerously close to her shoulder.
Laura turned and stared at him, her face flushing, and clenched her jaw but said nothing.
“I don't think any of us were all that surprised when we found out Laura took up with Mike. I mean, Laura always did love our family, seeing that things weren't all that great with her own.”
Now both she and his mother glared at him. Caleb felt a burst of triumph at the flash of pain in Laura's eyes. That's right, bitch. Hurt. Hurt till you bleed. Though he knew it would never come close to what she’d done to him, maybe he could make things a little painful for her in his own way.
“Laura, honey, would you like to help me with the salad?” Caroline asked, giving Caleb a look that mimicked the 'wait till your father gets home' glares she used to give him when he was a child.
They came back out a few minutes later with some wine. Caroline handed Caleb a glass, and he watched as Laura now took the matching armchair seat furthest away from him.
“You know what I miss? That non-alcoholic strawberry wine you used to give us when we were kids. Man, I haven't had that in ages,” Caleb said, watching Laura choke on her wine.
“I thought you kids hated that stuff.” Caroline took her place next to Caleb.
“Nah, it was all right. Remember, Laura? It was an acquired taste," Caleb reminded her.
Laura poured the wine over Caleb's head and then licked a path down his bare shoulder to his chest. “Hmm, doesn't taste half bad this way.” She smiled, settling on his lap.
“I can't even really recall what it tastes like anymore,” Laura replied, narrowing her eyes at him.
Bitch, Caleb thought, scowling.
“I saw some in the grocery store a few weeks ago. I can pick some up,” Caroline offered.
He watched Laura cringe and felt a punch of satisfaction.
“Sure.”
Yeah, you remember.
Caleb had to stop looking at her. She had one arm behind her head, absently playing with her hair and staring out the window. Her cheeks were flushed with a hint of red, and he knew she could feel his gaze on her. He'd taken her many times on this very couch when they’d had the house to themselves. He wondered if she remembered that too.
She looked around the room. Anywhere but at Caleb.
Bitch.
A very long time ago, he’d dreamt that he and Laura would be partners in every way. But Laura had killed that dream. Killed all his dreams. He felt his rage begin to churn more violently, and he was afraid he would jump on Laura and strangle her with his bare hands.
“Excuse me,” he said, rising, needing to leave the room so he could breathe. "Gotta go to the bathroom.”
He bumped into her in the hall upstairs a short while later. Her eyes widened when she saw him coming towards her, but she lifted her chin, determined to say whatever lie she was getting ready to spew.
“Hey. Listen, Caleb. I know that we need to talk, to somehow make our peace. I don’t want us to partner up under hostile—”
She smelled of lilac water and smoke, and he found himself getting aroused even though he tried to be disgusted by the fact that she smoked now.
“I know we need to talk about what happened between—”
“Oh, so you do remember that I was up inside you before my brother, ’cause you're acting like you don't.”
“I am? Me?” Laura asked, wide-eyed, and damn it, he wanted to kiss her so hard it would make her lips bleed. Bite off her tongue with his teeth.
“So what's the deal now, Laura? Working your way through the McKinney boys? Or is that how you got my dad to hire you?” he taunted her.
Slap.
Her hand met his cheek hard and stinging, and Caleb grabbed Laura's arm, pushing her against the wall. Then he stared at her, looking down at her mouth, open in surprise and more than a little fear. He stepped closer. His chest pressed against the fullness of her breasts, and he swelled harder in his jeans.
He would take her right here, hard and fast up against the wall, and then Mike would look down on them and see that she was nothing but a whore who used and discarded the McKinney men.
Reason tried to fight through his haze of anger and lust. His brother would look down from Heaven and hate him too.
“Caleb—”
He gripped her jaw tight with his fingers. “Don't. Don't you say my name, damn you.” His breath came in warm pants against her face, and her cheeks glistened with the heat.
“I'm sorry that—” she tried again, but he cut her off.
“So am I,” he replied gruffly and closed his mouth over hers. His entire body exploded at the taste of her. Like a man who'd gone too long without water, who'd almost forgotten what it tasted like and was suddenly reminded, Caleb pushed his lips against hers and swallowed her whimpers into his mouth. He felt her digging her fingers into his shoulders, and her tongue sought out his own. He gave it to her, sliding along her mouth. Knowing this had gone beyond anger to pure want. Pure, barely restrained lust. Not love. Not love, Caleb told himself. Not anymore. He reached down and cupped her behind and pressed her against him, wanting her to feel him. He rolled his hips against her and felt the heat of her, remembered that tight, wet heat and felt like he was going to come so damned hard. Her hands cupped his face, her fingers shook and he sucked her lips, teased her tongue with his own. Nobody tasted like Laura. Oh God, how he'd missed her taste. He pressed her tight against the bulge in his jeans.
His mind was spinning. What was he doing? Shit! What the hell was he doing? Ready to screw her senseless in his mother's hallway with his mother downstairs.
Self-loathing ripped through him, and he pulled away with a groan. Laura hit the back of her head against the wall.
Her mouth was swollen and wet, and it took all his willpower not to go after it again.
She had tears in her eyes when she looked up at him, and Caleb forced himself to smile while his blood calmed in his veins.
“I could have pulled your pants down and shoved myself in you right now, and you would have loved it, wouldn't you?” he sneered, panting against her face. “Guess it's a good thing Mike’s dead, huh?”
At the mention of his brother, she closed her eyes.
“Then he'd know what I know. You, Laura Thatcher, are nothing but a whore.” Caleb felt a sickening clench in his stomach at the horrified look on her face and forced himself to turn and walk away from her.
Chapter Three
This was a huge mistake. Bigger than huge. What was that word Karl used? Ginormous. This was a ginormous mistake. Laura stared up at the champagne-colored ceiling, the moonlight making strange patterns around the light fixture. She had told herself th
at she had been prepared for Caleb's anger. But the intensity of it shocked her.
Mike had led her to believe that Caleb had moved on. He had been so cold to her when they'd sat in the living room. Ice pick jabs straight to the heart. One after another.
Poor Caroline had looked about ready to strangle her firstborn.
Then upstairs, his rage had flamed hot, burning and vicious. The cold, ice blue stare had become intense, livid, sparks shooting off him to singe her down to ashes. Then there had been a brief flash of something else and his mouth was on hers and oh.
Years had done nothing to dull the all-consuming want between them. He had been her first. Her best, she thought traitorously, remembering Mike. Caleb’s mouth, his hands were everywhere, and Laura fell. Fell into a sizzling mess of please, please, more, rubbing up against him like a cat in heat.