by E. Jamie
“You know, you didn’t have to—” she began the familiar refrain, and he pushed open the car door and got out so she would have no choice but to shut up and follow.
His heart was pounding with each step up the stairs into the building, and a few heads turned with surprise, recognizing him to be the great Sergeant McKinney’s firstborn.
“Thatcher!” Karl called out, hurrying towards them with a wide smile. “I was worried you two would have killed each other by now. No offence,” he added quickly, shaking Caleb’s hand.
“Not quite,” Laura replied with an uneasy grimace, and Karl paused, studying them both. “The old man in?”
“Yeah, sure. You want me to prep him first?” he asked, tilting his head meaningfully towards Caleb.
Laura shook her head and continued on toward the Sarge’s door. She knocked, and Caleb felt his hands go clammy at his father’s rough voice calling them in.
Blue eyes met blue, and Caleb couldn’t breathe.
“Hey,” Laura spoke through the tense silence. “Thought I’d check in.”
William stood up, and Caleb thought he looked shorter than he remembered. “Good to see you. Both of you.” His eyes never left his son’s, and Caleb’s mouth became sandpaper dry.
He wasn’t sure what he felt, looking at this man who was his father. Anger…fear, inadequacy, curiosity, all of it thrummed through his veins and made him tremble. He closed his fists tight at his sides to try and stop it so that his father wouldn’t see him quake in front of him.
“Coffee?” William asked.
“That’d be good, yeah,” Laura said, and Caleb felt her hand touch the back of his. He didn’t know if it was on purpose or not, but it did ease the tension a little, and he was grateful she had done it.
He took a seat next to her.
“How are you?” William asked him.
“We’re making some good progress on the case,” he explained, wanting to steer away from anything personal.
“I meant you, Caleb. How are you doing? I’ve spoken to your mother and—”
“We’ve got a prime suspect. Mankell. My precinct’s been tailing him for years, but I think we’ve finally got something solid—”
“Caleb, come on. It’s been years. I know that we said some pretty awful—”
“We need warrants to search his properties. His home and businesses. That’s the only reason I’m—”
“Look, I understand you’re still upset about—”
“Sarge, maybe you shouldn’t—” Laura tried to interject.
“I don’t want to get into this right—”
“—Mike. But don’t you think it’s been long—”
“Damn it, Dad. I said I don’t want to talk about this!” Caleb shouted, getting to his feet.
“But since when have you ever given a damn what I wanted? Or Mike, for that matter. It was all about falling in line with the gospel according to William McKinney, and you may think I’ll forget that you pushed Mike into being a cop when he didn’t want to, but I won’t. Not ever! You wanted to talk? Well, there you go. That is all I have to say. Laura, I’ll wait in the car.”
“Caleb, come on,” Laura pleaded, holding on to his arm.
He jerked away from her grasp and stormed out, well aware that everyone had heard his blowup with his father. He was too furious to care, but while he sat in the car and waited for Laura’s return, he admitted to himself that maybe he shouldn’t have treated her the way he had, storming out on her like that.
God, he really was messed up if he was feeling guilty about being rude to Laura after what she had done. Christ, it was like being furious with his father brought out all the pain she had put him through too, and made forgiving her tangled up with forgiving his father, something he didn’t think he could ever do.
It was times like this he questioned his decision to become a cop. Caleb sometimes joked that he was gonna buy Totts Diner from Mr. Totts and turn it into a bar. Totts, an old man who managed the dive where Caleb sometimes ate his lunch or dinner and used to get very very drunk, had told him he'd be bored shitless with a year. He belonged out there cleaning up the streets. Caleb didn’t want to believe him but thought he might be right. Mr. Totts knew all about Laura. He’d told Caleb it was her loss, and the best revenge was to be the best damn cop he could be, marry himself to some sweet gal and have fat cop babies.
He now loved being a cop as much as he used to hate it years ago because every time he was out there, he was with her. He felt Laura so strongly when he was out in the street, he’d sometimes used to wonder if she was dead and her soul was around him.
Part of him had wanted her to be dead, because then that meant she couldn’t come back to him. Because if she was alive, it meant she was choosing not to come back, didn’t want him.
A year after she’d disappeared, Caleb began to think he didn’t want her to come back at all. Who the hell needed her anyway? Oh yeah? You didn't want me, Laura? Well guess what? Now I don't want you.
Except he did want her. Wanted her so bad he ached with it every night and, over the years, had tried to erase her from his mind with every nameless girl he could. He stayed away from the blondes except when he was drunk. When he got drunk, all he wanted was a little bit of Laura. Laura’s hair. Laura’s eyes. Laura’s breasts. Laura’s legs. Laura’s ass. He'd take her in bits and pieces if he couldn’t have all of her at the same time.
Now she was back, and he had taken her in his arms and fallen headfirst into her again, and it felt both right and wrong.
Maybe it had been a mistake to bring her to live with him? But the alternative was for her to be alone, and that was not an option. If anything happened to her…
God damn her for making him care again.
“Well, the more things change and all that,” Laura said, pulling open the passenger side door and sitting next to him.
“Don’t start,” he grumbled. “What’s the word on the warrants?”
“Not a problem,” she assured him.
“Good, so let’s get the hell out of here already.” He turned the key and slammed his foot on the gas.
Laura looked cautiously over at him. “Wow. I would have thought after all this time had passed, you would have gotten over your anger at your dad, but I forgot forgiveness isn’t your thing.”
He didn’t look at her and was silent for a few minutes. “I said I’d try with you. That doesn’t extend to my…” His voice trailed off when he spotted the black vehicle behind them in the rearview mirror.
“What?” Laura asked, looking behind her.
“I think we’ve got company. Hang on.” He turned the corner. So did the other car.
“Seriously?” She reached into her purse, which rested on the floor of the car, for her gun.
“We’re being tailed. Call it in.” He motioned toward the radio.
“Who is that?” Laura asked after calling for backup and giving their location. “One of Mankell’s?”
“That’d be my guess. You’d think they wouldn’t appreciate us investigating their little pedophile operation.” He slammed hard on the brakes when another car cut them off and blocked them. “Shit.”
The men behind them got out of the car. Caleb pulled his gun out of his holster and met Laura’s wide-eyed gaze. “Ready to play?”
“Always.” She smiled at him, and he felt a warmth in his chest mix with the racing adrenaline.
Caleb guessed this was just a warning from Mankell and the men wouldn’t be stupid enough to actually try and kill them. At least he hoped not.
When the gunfire opened on both sides of them, he had to admit he had his doubts. He crouched down with Laura while the glass rained down on them. Raised his hand just high enough to get in some shots of his own.
Laura fired at the same time before he ordered her to press her hand down on the gas while he gripped the steering wheel.
“Say what?” she demanded.
“Do it!” He then set the car in reverse and ramm
ed into the black car again and again. He blew out the back window of the police car and fired into the tires of the car behind them, effectively stopping the two men from getting away.
Laura picked up on his plan quickly and managed to shoot out the tires in the car blocking their front path. Her next shot caught one of the men in the leg, and Caleb then put the car in drive and pushed forward, turning the car left and pinning the wounded man against the side of the building flanking the alley.
Laura fired a second round, and a bullet hit the second man in front of them in the ass when he tried to get away.
Caleb felt a moment of amused pride before he pushed the car door open and fired at the two men behind them, hitting them both, but not before feeling the piercing fire of one shot graze his shoulder. The jolt sent him backwards, and he hit his head against the cement corner of the warehouse. His vision blurred while pain screamed in his skull.
He heard Laura call out his name before he dropped to the ground, the stickiness of blood sliding through his fingers. He could barely make out the sound of approaching sirens before the painful haze finally settled over him, and everything went black.
****
By the time they were seventeen, they were CalebandLaura. One entity. Connected limbs on one body.
Nobody understood it. He was the son of one of the most respected men in the city, and she was ‘that’ girl. What on earth could he possibly see in her?
If Laura had no girlfriends before, there would be no hope of any now. He felt bad about that, but she assured him she didn’t care. They all hated her for taking golden boy Caleb McKinney out of circulation.
She was the bad influence, they thought. Not knowing that he was the one who’d convinced her to cover the principal's office with toilet paper and toothpaste, because the old fart told Laura she wouldn't fit in with the advanced math class she needed to follow him into the police academy next year.
It was Caleb who started the rumor that Betsy Hallaway was a lesbian after she called Laura a whore.
It was Caleb who pulled the fire alarm when her science teacher wouldn’t let her leave early when she was sick.
It was Caleb who made her blush really pretty by sneaking in kisses when she opened her locker door to hide them from prying eyes.
It was Caleb who snuck in a hand under her top when they were supposed to be concentrating on the educational film in class.
It was Caleb who convinced Laura to cut class so they could drive out to the lake so he could do delicious things to her with his mouth.
And it was Caleb who snuck into her bedroom at night to bring them both to the brink and begged her to let him go further.
Laura held him off. She wasn’t ready. When the blood made its return journey up into his brain, he could respect that.
****
He must have dozed again, because the next thing he was aware of was the feeling of a soft, warm weight against the back of his hand. Caleb groaned, and through blurred vision he saw Laura lift her head in surprise.
“Laura.” His voice was rough and thick with confusion. “Whahappen?” he asked, looking around the room in growing panic. “Mankell’s men—”
“Shh, it's okay. You're all right. You just hit your head when you passed out. Rest. They gave you something for the pain. Don't worry about talking,” Laura told him, covering his hand with her own.
Caleb took her hand and lifted it to his mouth. “I'm sorry...called you a whore. Not a whore. Love you,” he mumbled, then drifted off again.
****
God, she's beautiful, Caleb thought when she opened the door with a nervous smile. She's probably more scared than you are, he reminded himself, taking in her freshly washed hair and sweet, soapy smell. Her hair was a bit darker at the ends where it was still damp, and he couldn’t resist taking a few strands between his fingers. Laura started at the gesture and leaned in to brush a soft kiss on his lips.
“I clean up good sometimes, huh?” she asked, and despite her glib tone, Caleb noticed the slight quiver in her voice. She wore a long jean skirt, and her feet were bare with what looked like clear polish—her toenails looked kind of shiny. She wore a white tank top. Simple and beautiful. That was Laura.
“Yep,” Caleb replied, his throat swollen.
“You hungry?” she asked, turning from him and pulling out a paper bag from one of the plastic bags on the table.
Caleb almost whimpered. Hell yes. But not for food!
She pulled out white cartons of Chinese food. She’d taught him to use chopsticks last year, which had led to a hilarious mess and ended with her taking him into her hand for the very first time.
Laura leaned across him to switch on the TV, and Caleb watched the way the skirt stretched across her bottom. She's evil, Caleb thought, taking his seat on the carpet next to her. He looked over to his right and saw her bed. When his gaze swung forward again, he noticed that she was watching him. He blushed, feeling like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Her cheeks were a little flushed as well, and she gave him a small smile. Pulling out the thick physics textbook, she dropped it onto his lap. “Down boy,” she said with a wink. “We'll worry about this head for the moment.” She tapped his temple and laughed.
Caleb felt his nerves beginning to ease and let out a giggle too.
He should get some kind of award, really, he thought, watching her bite the end of her pencil while they finished up the last question. He’d managed to consume the entire meal and finish homework, all with this exuberant voice beating a rhythm in the back of his mind. Gonnagetlaidtoday. Gonnagetlaidtoday. Gonnagetlaidtoday!
“So...” Laura said, closing the book.
“So...” Caleb echoed.
“Did you...uh...bring, ya know?” she asked, getting to her feet.
“Uh huh,” he replied with a nod, following her up and wishing he didn't sound like such a doofus.
“Good. Okay.” She bit her thumbnail and looked at her bed. “So, you wanna...um...now?”
Caleb took a deep breath and tried not to tackle his girlfriend onto the mattress.
“You know, Laura. If you're too nervous or not ready, we can hold off.
" Yannowedon'thavetodothistoday.” WHAT? He mentally screamed at his brain.
“You don't want to?” Laura asked, and the disappointment on her face nearly made him come in his pants.
“No! I mean, yes, I do. I was just worried that maybe you were too nervous or changed your mind,” he assured her.
“Oh,” Laura said and gave him a bright smile while she wrapped her arms around his neck. “When you get all considerate like that, McKinney, it makes me wanna jump you even more,” she confessed and pressed herself against him while meeting his mouth.
Gentlemen...start your engines! he thought as his entire body surged upward. He tried to pace himself, clenching his fists at his sides. While he stroked Laura's tongue with his own, she began pulling his shirt up out of the waistband of his pants.
“Hmmm, you smell nice,” she remarked, unbuttoning his crisp white shirt.
Caleb ran his lips along her jaw line, upwards to the curve of her ear. She trembled against him, and her fingers fumbled on the buttons. “God...Laura...,” he murmured in her ear when her hands ran underneath his white undershirt along the soft skin of his stomach. Her fingers were warm. When she got his shirt off, leaving just the white undershirt, Laura reached up to run her mouth along his throat.
“Caleb...I...do you think...”
“Right now? Not so much,” he admitted, licking his lips and capturing her mouth again. He finally allowed his trembling hands to touch her. They skimmed along her back and vibrated with the feel of Laura's soft laughter.
“Is it like this...with other people?” she asked, her green eyes wide and steady, and she didn’t have to explain what she meant.
Caleb knew. Do others experience this all-consuming feeling in their blood just from looking at each other? Do their hearts feel like they�
��re going to explode out of their chests with every touch? Every kiss? Do they look at each other and just know what the other is thinking? Are other couples so much a part of each other that one half is incomplete without the other? The thought made him a little uneasy, but right now, everything felt too good for him to care. “I don't know,” he admitted, undoing the few buttons at the top of her skirt.
“Ah, who wants to be normal anyway?” Laura said, pulling his undershirt up over his head.
****
Laura was staring out the window at the sliver of rising sun, drinking coffee when Caleb woke up again.
She rushed to his side. “I'm here.” She gave him a small smile, and in that moment, she looked so much like the young girl he’d once loved so desperately that he couldn’t resist giving in to the desire churning through him.