by Dan Thompson
“Goodbye, dad.”
The urge to look back was strong, but she feared she could indeed break down and run back to the boy who lusted over her. Knowing that someone actually wanted her around, to be in her company was a heart-warming sensation that made her enthusiastic. She fingered the ring, the relic of her past. Holding it close to her heart, Abbey knew exactly where she needed to go.
Epilogue
Atop the clay cliffs, Abbey could see further across the sea than she could out of her bedroom window. The lighthouse, once white-topped and standing tall, was now smouldering, charred black and dead. It would easily fit in amongst the rundown buildings inside the city. Home was no more.
The breeze lifted her hair up jovially like it had always been an amiable friend to Abbey and not a vicious foe. Even at this height, the air remained salty. After the large amounts of smoke she had inhaled, the zest cleansed her lungs and soothed her sore throat.
Tristan had stood paralysed by rejection, looking out across the waves for some time. The strenuous hike up the cliffs gave Abbey a decent vantage point to see him from. She imagined he was asking the same questions she was asking herself. Abbey was relieved he hadn’t followed her. Maybe their paths would cross in the somewhat distant future.
She would like that.
There was an obvious mound at the edge of the cliff. Lichen and brown weeds had covered it a little; her father had probably cleared it of nuisances often. Why she had never ventured up here before was a questions that troubled her.
I guess I didn’t really have a need to.
Her heart felt funny. An excitable and giddiness made her jumpy at the sight of the clear grave. It was a warming feeling. The soil was exceptionally dry, even after the storm hours earlier. It crumbled in her hands like a fine ash, but a peculiar leathery feeling to it too.
What clearly marked the grave out further still was a wooden plank of wood raised vertically from out the soil. There was just a single word etched in the discoloured and weathered wood. A word. A name. Was it her mother’s name? Abbey squinted as she tried to read it. It was easier for her to split the name up into manageable chunks.
Ab … ig … ail.
Abigail.
She had been named after her mother. A sentiment that gave the hope she had been searching for. It was a connection. A connection to a woman she never knew. And yet, what could be more important for a woman than to give life to her children. Abbey was in awe of this woman. She imagined her to be strong willed, caring and beautiful. She must have had the same colour hair as her, from the words her father had said.
You’re the spitting image of her.
Funeral rites and goodbyes were often a sad affair, but Abbey was smiling. This wasn’t a farewell, this was a first meet, a hello.
Paying her respects was a sparkling experience. It gave her faith that she could move forward with her life and leave behind the painful memories that haunted her. She thought of poor Rheanne and Kelly too; remembering them was an honour she felt able to do. When the time was right she would return to Stefan’s grounds and acknowledge their resting place with a plaque.
It was the right thing to do.
And by doing good, she could then rid herself of the guilt. She had sinned, she knew that. Time would heal her wounds and it would also allow her the soul-searching opportunity she needed.
Abbey realised - stroking the grave - that she needed to carve herself a new identity; an identity both she and her mother would be proud of.
“Abigail,” she said. “Abigail.” She loved how it sounded in its entirety. It rolled off the tongue elegantly and regally. Abbey knew she could shed her old skin and begin anew, to go forward and leave the past in the past.
Would my mum approve?
Abigail sat by her mother’s grave for some time, allowing the crash of the waves to filter into the background. She dreamed of positivity. Suddenly, a sharp, blinding light caught her gaze. She stood and covered her eyes with her forearms. Abigail saw on the horizon, a disc of vibrant, alien colour slowly grow in the sky. It hurt her eyes, but she couldn’t look away. Reds and whites extended its reach, its rosy fingers warmed her face with a natural heat she had never experienced before.
It lit up the sky with a blast of colour. At first, Abigail thought to run and hide, but she soon realised it was one of the most beautiful phenomena she had ever witnessed. It was a blessed sign. Abigail squealed in delight.
A miracle had been born; or more rightly, a miracle had returned.
Author’s Note
Have you ever read a book that has introduced you to something new? But that same book taking you one step further? Sharon Sant’s Runners (published by Immanion Press 2013) introduced me to the ‘Dystopian’ genre and struck a spark inside my overworked brain. Sharon Sant and Runners inspired Here Lies Love, and in some regards, Abbey too.
Like my adult novel before it, Here Lies Love was a rather instinctual write. I should have been writing another book actually, but Here Lies Love took hold of me and wouldn’t let me go. I love it when an idea does that. As an author, it is my job to tell the main character’s story, and boy, Abbey has a story.
Although it definitely has dystopian elements, I didn’t want them to be what Here Lies Love was all about. This was Abbey’s story and if you’ve just read the book, then you’ll know that Abbey was very naïve and unaware of how her world works. It is Tristan who informs Abbey to the nature of the ‘Blue Haze’ for instance. It was a deliberate effort on my part to keep some things unexplained. Who knows how the world would work in this sort of scenario? If you go back to specific periods in our Earth’s history, such as ‘cold winters’ and blackouts, life still carried on. The meteor that struck and wiped out the dinosaurs caused a blackout that lasted thousands of years. And yet, some life continued to survive.
During the research for this book I came across many interesting and colourful articles about futuristic farming techniques that scientists were working on to ‘maximise’ the full potential of the produce. They did by removing the sun’s input, and to their surprise, produce of all kinds still grew. As you know by the conversation between Abbey and Ryan, it all is down to the specific wavelengths that light emits. One such article explained that if you took a tomato plant and placed a green light over it, it would die, because the plant itself is green and reflects all green light. The power of reflection in the physics of farming is really interesting and if it is something that takes your fancy, then all you need do is type some words into a search engine to know more.
Abbey isn’t a hero. She doesn’t have to overthrow an evil queen or save the world even. Abbey needs to save herself, and this is her story in a tiny pocket of the world. You won’t find much explanation as to why things are the way they are, because Abbey doesn’t know. She is learning about her world at the same time we are.
The decision to include a chapter with Stefan’s point of view and a chapter with Tristan’s point of view was a tough one. The entire narrative was meant to show how paranoid Abbey becomes. Although, in the end, the inclusion of Stefan’s and Tristan’s perspectives add another dimension to the story that I felt was needed.
Here Lies Love actually began life with a working title of ‘Firefly’ – a reference to Abbey’s hair colour, and a significant meaning too. Although, as my plan grew, it became quite clear that it needed to change, for it isn’t a happy story and the title can be applied to many aspects of the book.
Abbey’s love for herself is at the forefront, but Stefan’s perverse kind of love for his prisoners ranks up there too. What about Abbey’s father’s love for her, as well as Tristan’s love for her too? Love affects everyone, including Ryan, which is subtle, but most certainly there. Love is a happy emotion, but it can also be hurtful too. I wanted to explore the many ugly faces of love, and the dystopian world makes for the perfect setting.
This story doesn’t take place within the Runners world that Sharon Sant did an excellent job creating, but
I secretly would like to think that it is more of an extension.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, I must say a huge heartfelt thanks to Sharon Sant, who not only agreed to edit this book, but also provide the inspiration. Sharon is multi-skilled and multi-talented. She’s the lady that holds everything together and I certainly wouldn’t have had the achievements I’ve had without her advice and support.
Alan for his interest and support, as well as being patient when asking me something - *must get sentence down first*. And for knowing how to make the perfect cup of coffee; my very own ambrosia, and a beverage I wouldn’t function properly without.
Charlotte for her open ears and always knowing the right things to say.
Ravven for creating the most wonderful cover I could have hoped for.
Jack for the great advice and banter. A young, fresh voice that will undoubtedly take him far. Also, just so he knows; my Psyduck is amazing and unbeatable.
Elizabeth, Jaimie and Candace for tips and support. I wish you all luck for your futures – not that you need it of course. Tony for being only a Facebook message away. Your support and interest is greatly appreciated. And now we are both signed to Ghostly! Jack recommends us to become the two new pinup boys for the publisher. What do you think? Are you game? A calendar shoot maybe?
Sharon Atkinson for picking the winning name for Ryan, as voted for on my blog. I really hope you find something to enjoy in here.
Holly and Zack for new friendships. Growing my circle of friends has been a truly unforgettable moment for me. And to existing friends: Sue and Richard. Confidence doesn’t come naturally to me and your encouragement is valued.
To the brilliant and fantastic bloggers who agreed to host a cover reveal for me. You bloggers are the vital middlemen for authors and your help with promotion stay with us.
Toni, Alison, Dianne, Shannon – we may have never met, but I count you – and in fact every name in here – a friend. I feel we are all on the same journey together, albeit on different paths. But you know what they say – all roads lead to Rome.
To my family who help me with childcare and mundane tasks. Mum, Toni: the help I get indisputably helps me get on with writing, which is of course a must!
And finally to all of the readers I have gained on my journey so far. It is you who buy the books and give me the spirit to carry on. Thank you.
Stay with me folks, there’s still plenty to come.
Extras
The following pages contain a few extras. They are small, but I hope they work quite nicely. They may appear random, but if you pay close attention, they all serve a purpose. Enjoy …
Interview with the Author
Abbey's struggle sounds very emotionally complex, did you find any of the scenes particularly difficult to write in terms of emotionally provocative or challenging content?
Oh yes! I had a lot of difficulty writing some of the scenes as they were extremely dark and unsettling. In chapter three, the scene where it is apparent that Abbey is raped, I had to try really hard to not actually call it that. It is hard enough to watch that sort of thing on the TV, never mind writing about it.
It was, however, vital to the plot. Simply locking her in a cage wasn’t enough trauma to turn Abbey into the young women she becomes. Here Lies Love isn’t a light story, but then again, some of the best aren’t. Despite being set in a dystopian setting, these atrocities do happen within our own real lives and if we ignore them and pretend they don’t exist, well that’s almost a crime in itself.
I also had trouble writing the scene atop the roof, where Abbey is contemplating death. I had to ensure that I got the tone right. Knowing when to stop and drawing the line is an aspect I hope I got right.
Did you find creating the NA tone difficult after writing so much YA?
To be honest, I found the NA (new adult) elements of this story a welcome relief. I read a lot of YA (young adult) and there are boundaries you have to not cross. Certain taboo and unsavoury topics aren’t welcome, and quite right too. Abbey’s story was dark though and I knew from the beginning that I’d have trouble writing it for a young adult audience.
And not just for the type of scenes spoken about in the above question. Coming of age and sexual awakening are obvious topics covered in most YA novels. And yet, they still have to be told in a way that makes everything so magical and straightforward, and easy! Being a teenager isn’t easy, especially when all of these emotions are surging through your body. You have questions about yourself, and Abbey has to articulate these sexual questions to herself.
The scene where she ‘spies’ on Tristan in the shower may not be so easily welcome in a YA book. It was great too to test myself in writing this type of scene.
Which character (if any) is most like you and how?
Ohhh, I wouldn’t say any of the characters are like me to be honest. Then again, I guess there are a few traits in Abbey that are so like me.
The first would be the tendency to question everything. She is sceptical about everyone, and I always do this myself. I also assume people have their own agenda and it is something I have had to work on in my own life a few years ago.
Abbey also pulls her hands inside her sleeves and I do that too. It felt very natural to add that to Abbey’s character. It is a self-conscious action. Like Abbey, I don’t even realise I am doing it!
What’s next for you?
I need to make a start on the book I should have been writing instead of Here Lies Love. It is the sequel to my young adult fantasy novel The Black Petal – which will be published by Ghostly Publishing later on it the year.
The sequel has a working title of The Golden Lyre and I have it pretty much planned out already. It is just about doing a bit more vital research and then the writing should begin.
If you like Greek myths, gods and goddesses and magic also, then you should definitely check The Black Petal out. It is already available for preorder from the Ghostly Publishing website.
From your blog, it seems like you juggle multiple projects at the same time. How do you decide how much time to give a certain project or how do you decide what to work on?
What an interesting question! Although, I’m not so sure I can answer this without making myself seem so underwhelming. For the most part, I work to my own deadlines, which therefore allows me to pick and choose my own schedule. As I’ve said in the question above, I should have been making a start on The Golden Lyre. In fact, my plan is quite decent and I’ve done about 75% of the research for that book. Then this novel struck me, and I had to get that underway.
The research needed for Here Lies Love was very different to my fantasy series, so I could write whilst I researched. I tend to write in scenes, so if I know a particular scene is coming up, I can stop before I reach it and double check my research – the scene where Abbey’s shoulder becomes dislocated, for example.
I had been working on a side project of sorts too, with a working title of Elle. This is a period adult drama, but progress on that has been incredibly slow. I simply chose to spend more time on Here Lies Love. I guess to answer your question, I simply write on the project that has me hooked the most. I guess if I had more official deadlines, I wouldn’t really have much choice.
Are the characters in your books based on people you either know, have known, strangers you pass in the street or on a regular basis or are they pure fantasy?
I have a rule to not base any of my characters on people I know. Simply because I wouldn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings if they discovered it and didn’t like my portrayal. What I do like to do though, is include habits from people I know and apply them to my characters. This is a fantastic method of developing your characters’ depth and it also allows them to seem more lifelike and real.
In my YA fantasy book The Black Petal, the main character Jack sticks his tongue out when he is concentrating. A good friend of mine does this and I nabbed it and put it in my book. It may appear small and insignificant, but it is
important for me to get my characters just right.
But as humans, I guess it is in our nature to observe sometimes, whether it be in a coffee shop, in a queue at the bank or even sitting on a train and listening to others’ conversations. If something is memorable and stands out, then it is easy as an author to slot them in, if that makes sense. Stefan, for example, has a gaunt face. As I was waiting for my coffee to be made in a café, a man entered the queue with very defined bones in his face. As I was creating Stefan, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that this man influenced him, but I let my mind expand and add other features too.
Deleted Scene
The air was pungently sweet from sweat and urine. Despite the cold nights, their room, which was more like a holding pen, was strangely humid. Flies had appeared within hours and their noisy visits were both annoying and alarming. Abbey knew that flies carried along with them disease. Disease was always a dirty word – one of the few life lessons her father had taught her. When the pests buzzed and spiralled over Abbey’s head, she threw her arms around, cursing and exclaiming, but it seemed to only drive them crazy and more lustful of her skin.
Rheanne looked severely ill and thirsty. Abbey could see, even through the blueness of the haze, that the girl’s skin was dull and matte, like all of her life-force had been sucked out of her. Rheanne was no longer a young woman, an individual, but a mere shell of tight, fragile skin and brittle bones.
She no longer sobbed either. Exhaustion was responsible for that. Instead, Rheanne sat against her wall and stared unblinking and lifeless into the unknown. Her dreams no longer gave refuge.
Just as Abbey had sought the courage to make conversation with the poor girl again, a tinny click, click, click echoed from the hall. The monster was returning.