Haruhi picked up the paper bag containing the flyers.
“Let’s go, Mikuru-chan.”
Asahina-san crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at me pleadingly. I could only stare at her in her bunny girl outfit.
I’m sorry, I just couldn’t dredge up any resistance.
Asahina-san tried to grab the table and resist, sobbing like a kid, but she was no match for Haruhi’s strength. She was dragged away by Haruhi, and the two bunny girls disappeared from the room. Just as I sat down dejectedly, feeling guilty of myself…
“That.”
Nagato Yuki pointed on the ground. I looked and saw two sailor uniforms lying there… Erm, is that a bra I just saw?
The short-haired, spectacled girl pointed at the cabinet at the other side of the room and then went back to reading her book.
Can’t you pick up the clothes yourself!?
I sighed and went to pick up their clothes, placing them in the cabinet. Ah~!, you could feel their body heat on the clothes. They’re still warm!
Half an hour later, an exhausted Asahina-san returned. Whoa, her eyes are as red as a bunny’s, I’d better not say anything yet. I hurriedly gave her a chair, and like last time, she simply sat and drooped towards the table, her shoulders shivering. Looks like she doesn’t even have the strength to change. But facing that naked back of hers, I didn’t know where else to look, so I took off my jacket and draped it across her shivering shoulders. The presence of a sobbing girl and a bookworm who didn’t care about what was going on, along with me who was at a loss with what to do, had brought the atmosphere of the room to an all-time low. The screams of the Baseball Club could be heard in the distance.
As I was about to think of what’s for dinner tonight, Haruhi returned. The first thing she did was scowl angrily:
“Damn them! What the hell, those damn teachers! They always get in the way!”
Not sure why she was so angry, I asked:
“Is there a problem?”
“I hadn’t even handed out half the fliers and in comes a stupid teacher asking us to stop handing them out! What the hell is wrong with him?”
You moron. If the teachers ignored something like students dressing up as bunny girls and handing out flyers at the school entrance, then that’d be abnormal!
“Mikuru-chan was nearly in tears, and I got taken to see the Principal, and then that Okabe from the Handball Club came!”
I guess the Principal and Okabe-sensei probably didn’t know where to place their eyes when looking at you dressed like that.
“Man, this pisses me off! That’s it for today! Dismissed!”
Haruhi slowly took off her bunny ears and then proceeded to remove her bunny girl costume. I immediately rushed out of the room.
“How long are you going to cry like that? Hurry up and change!”
I leaned on the corridor wall and waited for them to change. Seems like Haruhi isn’t really a born exhibitionist, it’s just that she has no idea what effect the sight of her being half naked would have on guys. The reason she dressed herself up in a bunny costume wasn’t really to show her sexy body, but rather to attract people’s attention.
At this rate, there’s no way she can experience a normal romantic relationship.
I wish she could be more considerate of how the guys think. At least be considerate for me! Honestly, to hang out with such a crazy person is really exhausting. Besides, for Asahina-san’s sake I had to wish for that. Right… Nagato, at least let us know what your opinion is!
A while later, Asahina-san emerged from the room, giving a sad expression of someone who had just failed her exams. She needed to support herself on the wall or she would surely fall. Not knowing what to say to her, I could only stand in silence.
“Kyon-kun…”
Her dreamy voice sounds like one of those ghosts from the haunted sunken cruise ships.
“If something should happen so I cannot become a bride, will you take me…?”
Erm, what should I say? And, why are you calling me Kyon as well!?
Asahina-san returned my jacket to me in a robotic way. Just as I was wondering if she would fall into my chest and cry, she’d already walked away.
Damn… such a pity!
The next day, Asahina-san took the day off.
Haruhi was already famous enough in school, but after the bunny girl incident, her name and eccentricity had become the stuff of school legends. Not that I really mind, since I’m not really responsible for Haruhi’s actions!
What I do mind is, Suzumiya Haruhi’s actions have caused everyone to start gossiping about Asahina Mikuru-san as well. That, and the odd glares I receive from everyone at school.
“Hey, Kyon… seems like you’re having a fun time with Suzumiya…”
Taniguchi said to me in a sympathetic tone after school. “I never thought you would become good friends with her… looks like nothing is impossible in this world!”
Ah, shut up!
“I was surprised yesterday! Seeing bunny girls while I was heading home, I thought I was dreaming!”
Kunikida joined in the conversation, carrying a familiar flier with him.
“What is this SOS Brigade? What’s it about?”
Go ask Haruhi that question. I don’t know, nor do I want to. Even if I did, I don’t feel like telling you!
“It asks us to provide any paranormal events, but it doesn’t define what those are. And, what does it mean by not handling normal paranormal events?”
Even Asakura Ryouko came to have a word with me.
“You guys seem to be doing some interesting stuff. But if it’s something that’s way overboard, I advise you to stop at once. Honestly, you guys went too far yesterday.”
If I had known, I would have taken the day off as well today!
Haruhi is still mad. On one hand, she’s mad that the teachers stopped her from handing out the fliers; on the other hand, she’s mad that the SOS Brigade email inbox is completely empty. I expected one or two prank mails in the inbox, but it turns out people were more rational than I thought. Perhaps no one wanted to have anything to do with Haruhi and get themselves in trouble?
Haruhi scowled at the empty inbox, shaking the optical mouse vigorously.
“Why isn’t anyone sending any mail in?”
“There wasn’t any yesterday nor today. Maybe everyone does have experiences they could tell, but just can’t trust a suspicious looking club like ours?”
I tried to explain unconvincingly.
Have you experienced any paranormal events? Yes. Oh, that’s great, then please tell me. All right, actually…
Please! It’s not as if something like that would happen, OK? Now you listen, Haruhi! Those sorts of things would only occur in a comic book or novel. Real life is very cruel and strict. Things like a conspiracy to destroy the world from a normal prefecture high school, mutant organisms wandering in a peaceful suburban area, or a spaceship hidden inside a mountain, all these things are impossible. Impossible! You hear me? You understand now, don’t you? All your eccentric behavior is a result of you not being able to find a way to release your unhappy emotions, isn’t that right? But, it’s time for you to wake up. You should settle down and find a boyfriend who would take you home every day and to the movies on Sundays, or maybe you should join some sports clubs to release your excess energy. With your abilities, you’d get into the first team in no time, becoming an active member.
…I had wanted to say more, but I had only thought up to five lines when Haruhi’s fists came waving over, so I’d better stop here.
“Mikuru-chan took the day off today, I hear?”
“Maybe she’s not coming back. Such a poor girl, I hope she’s not traumatized by yesterday’s events.”
“Damn, and I prepared a new costume for her to try on today!”
“Can’t you try them on yourself!?”
“Of course I can! It’s just that it’ll be too boring without Mikuru-chan.”
Naga
to Yuki blended in with the background as though she were invisible. Strange, why are you so obsessed with Asahina-san; why can’t you for once try the costume on Nagato and force her to play along with you? I know I shouldn’t say this, but thinking about it, I’d like to see how the normally expressionless Nagato would look in that bunny girl costume. She’d definitely give a feeling different from the often crying Asahina-san.
The transfer student Haruhi had expected had finally arrived!
Haruhi told me the news before homeroom one day.
“Don’t you think it’s great? The transfer student’s really coming!”
Haruhi leaned forward towards me, speaking excitedly. Her bright smile was like a kindergarten kid finally getting the toy she wants.
I don’t know where she heard it from, but the transfer student is going to be in Class 1-9.
“This is a chance in a lifetime. It’s a pity the student isn’t in the same class, but it’s definitely a mysterious transfer student, there’s no mistake!”
You haven’t even met him or her, so how do you even know if it’s a mysterious transfer student?
“Didn’t I say it before? A high percentage of those that get transferred in the middle of the school term are abnormal.”
Who on earth made such a statistic? I guess that is a mystery in itself.
If everyone who gets transferred in the middle of May is abnormal, then there’d be loads of mysterious transfer students all over Japan.
But, Haruhi’s way of thinking cannot be confined by logic. After the first session bell rang, Haruhi instantly ran out of the classroom. She probably went to visit the Mystery Transfer Student in Class 1-9.
Just before the bell rang to signal the beginning of class, Haruhi returned with a confused face.
“So is it a mysterious transfer student…?”
“Hmm… doesn’t feel like one.”
Of course it doesn’t!
“We talked, but I still don’t have enough information. Maybe they’re just putting up a front as a normal person; I believe that’s highly probable. After all, it’s not like they would expose their real identities on the day they transferred. I’ll go ask again at the next recess.”
Please don’t go ask again! I can imagine the Class 1-9 students, who had nothing to do with Haruhi, being scared to death by her sudden appearance while she grabbed one of the students to ask, “Where’s the transfer student?”, before she rushed in. That, or she would barge in when the student was having a conversation with his (or her) friends and interrogate the startled transfer student with questions like “Where are you from? Who are you really?”
At this moment, I thought of something else.
“Is the transfer student a guy or a girl?”
“Though there’s a possibility of a disguise, he appears to be a guy.”
Then he is a guy!
Seems like the SOS Brigade has a chance of recruiting another male member besides me. Haruhi might just drag that transfer student in without hearing his opinion simply because he’s new. But, he may not be as nice as me or Asahina-san. Can she really bring him into the club? No matter how strong-willed Haruhi is, someone with a strong opinion would simply ignore her!
As long as we have the numbers, the “Save the world by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruhi’s Brigade” would be formed as an association. No matter if the school recognizes it or not, the person that has to do all the paperwork and menial tasks is most likely to be… me! For the next three years, I will have to carry the name of “Subordinate of Suzumiya Haruhi” and live my days in despair.
I hadn’t thought of what I want to do when I graduate, but I knew that I wanted to go to a university, so I had to watch my behavior. But as long as I’m with Haruhi, it seems that this wish could never become true.
What should I do?
I couldn’t think of anything.
I know I should have just confronted Haruhi, had her dismiss the SOS Brigade, and then tried my best to persuade her to live a normal high school life. Perhaps I could have gotten her to stop thinking about aliens and time travelers, settle down and find a boyfriend, or join some sports club, and be content with these three years of high school.
Sigh, it would be great if I could have done that!
If I’d have had stronger willpower, I wouldn’t have gotten sucked so helplessly into the whirlpool centered around Suzumiya Haruhi. I would have peacefully lived out these three years of high school and graduated normally.
… I wish it would have been like that!
However, the reason I’m saying this is because of the strange events afterwards that have happened to me; I believe everyone understands now?
Where should I begin?
Right, let’s start from when the transfer student first arrived at our club room.
Chapter 3
Due to the infamous bunny girl incident, Asahina-san has become a household name as well in the school. After taking a day off, she once again boldly appeared in the club room.
As there hadn’t been any decent club activities yet, I brought an Othello board, which had been buried deep in my home, long forgotten, and played some games with Asahina-san while chatting with her.
The website is done, but it was as good as useless as there were no visitors, nor a single email. The computer was only good for surfing the internet. If the guys from the Computer Study Group ever found out, they’d cry themselves to death.
Sitting next to Nagato Yuki, who as usual is reading her book, I started the third round of Othello with Asahina-san.
“Suzumiya-san sure is taking her time.” Asahina-san said softly while still staring at the board.
Seeing that she’s not affected by what’s happened before, I breathed a sigh of relief. No matter what, to be able to be in the same room with a cute girl who’s one year your senior is enough to make one giddy.
“There’s a transfer student coming in today, I bet she went to look for him.”
“Transfer student?”
Asahina-san raised her head like a little bird.
“Haruhi was excited when she heard that there’s a transfer student in Class 1-9. She really seems to like transfer students!”
I placed a black piece on the board and flipped the white pieces.
“Uh huh…”
“Oh yeah, Asahina-san, I never thought you’d come today!”
“Um… I did hesitate for a while, but I was a bit concerned, so in the end I came.”
Where’ve I heard you say that before?
“What are you concerned about?”
Smack! She flipped one of the board pieces with her tiny fingers.
“Um… nothing.”
I turned around and noticed Nagato staring at the board. Her face is static like a clay doll, but under her glasses, her eyes showed a glare never seen before.
“…”
Her glare was like a new born kitten amazed at seeing a dog for the first time. I traced her vision towards my hand which was holding the board piece.
“… Nagato-san, you wanna play?”
After I said that, Nagato robotically blinked her eyes and, in a very minuscule way that you wouldn’t have noticed unless you paid very close attention, lightly nodded her head. So I swapped seats with Nagato and sat beside Asahina-san.
Nagato picked up one of the pieces and studied it intensely. When she discovered the pieces would stick together because they were magnetic, she recoiled her hands as if she were frightened.
“Nagato-san, have you played Othello before?”
She slowly swung her head.
“Do you know the rules then?”
The answer was negative.
“Well see here, as you’re holding black, your objective is to surround the white pieces with your black pieces. And then you flip the surrounded white pieces over and they become black. In the end, whoever has more pieces wins.”
She nodded her head. Afterwards, she elegantly placed the pieces on the board, th
ough she was kind of clumsy in flipping the opponent’s pieces.
After the opponent was changed, Asahina-san started to appear more anxious. I noticed Asahina-san’s fingers started to tremble, and she wouldn’t dare lift her head to look at Nagato. She would occasionally take a peek at Nagato and then look away quickly, which she did many times. In the end maybe Asahina-san couldn’t really concentrate, so black quickly took a clear advantage in the game.
How come? Asahina-san seems to be very wary of Nagato, I just don’t understand why.
It wasn’t long before black won convincingly. Just as the two were to begin another round, the perpetrator responsible for all the chaos returned with a new sacrifice.
“Hiya, kept ya waiting!”
Haruhi greeted us casually while pulling the sleeve of a male student.
“This is today’s new transfer student in First Year Ninth Class, his name is…”
Haruhi suddenly stopped and gave a “it’s your cue” look. The sacrifice turned and smiled at us.
“… Koizumi Itsuki, pleased to meet you.”
A skinny figure, he gives an impression of an energetic young man. A very contented smile, kind eyes, and a handsome face. If he should make a pose as a model on those supermarket flyers, he’ll definitely get a lot of fans. If he’s a nice guy, he’ll be even more popular.
“This is the SOS Brigade club room. I’m the commander, Suzumiya Haruhi. These here are Subordinates One, Two, and Three. Oh and, you’re Number Four, remember to get along well!”
What kind of introduction is that!? The only names mentioned are yours and his!
“I don’t mind joining!”
Koizumi, the transfer student, smiled kindly:
“So what kind of club is this?”
If there were a hundred people here, they’d certainly ask the same question. A lot of people had come to ask me this question, but I could never find the answer for that. If a person can answer that skillfully, then he’s a talented con artist! Haruhi doesn’t seem concerned, however, and smiled cheerfully at us and said:
“Then let me tell you what the SOS Brigade is about, that is…”
Haruhi slowly breathed in, and then dramatically revealed the shocking truth.
Volume 1 - The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi Page 6