“No, there isn’t!”
“There is. Perhaps for Suzumiya Haruhi, you play an important pivotal role. The endless possibilities are now in the hands of both you and Suzumiya Haruhi.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
For the first time, I carefully studied Nagato Yuki’s face. I thought she never liked talking, but now that she has opened her floodgates and let her words flow, they were all words that I could not understand. I always felt that she was queer in some way, but after hearing this speech, I discovered her queerness was beyond imagination.
8 Same as above, the official SH wallpaper coined Yuki as Humanoid Interface.
Integrated Data Sentient Entity? Living Humanoid Interface[8]?
Give me a break!
“Okay, I think you should tell this directly to Haruhi, I bet she’d be very delighted. To be frank, I’m not that interested in these topics, sorry about that.”
“The majority of the Integrated Data Entity speculates that if Suzumiya Haruhi becomes aware of her own powers and existence, an unforeseen crisis might occur; hence, at this stage we have opted to continue observing.”
“There’s a chance I’d tell all of this to Haruhi! I really don’t get it, why tell me all this?”
“Even if you tell her, it is likely she would ignore it.”
It is likely indeed.
“I’m not the only alien placed on Earth by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. The Entity intends to take a proactive role and observe any changes in the flow of data. For Suzumiya Haruhi, you are an important person. If there is any sign of a crisis looming, I will look to you first.”
Sorry, count me out.
Please excuse me, thanks for the tea, it was nice.
Seeing me about to leave, Nagato didn’t stop me.
She lowered her head and glanced at her teacup, reverting back to her normal expressionless mode. I guess it was my imagination, but for some reason, I actually thought she looked kind of lonely.
When my mom asked me where I’d been, I gave a brief reply and went straight to my room. Lying on my bed, I began to recall everything Nagato said.
If I believed what she said, then that would make Nagato Yuki a being that is not of this world; in other words, an alien.
Isn’t this exactly the sort of mystical being that Suzumiya Haruhi has been working so hard to look for every day?
And all this time it was all right under our noses.
… Heh… Damn it! I sound like an idiot!
My eye caught the thick hardback novel that was thrown on the corner of the bed. I picked it up with the bookmark and had a glimpse at the cover art before placing it by my pillow.
Nagato must have picked up all those weird fantasies from reading all those science fiction novels all alone in her apartment for so long. She probably never talks to anyone in her class, imprisoning herself in her own mind. She ought to put down her book, get out and make some friends, and enjoy the wonderful school life. Her lack of expression is not helping in getting along with people, and she would look very cute if she’d only smile.
I think I’ll return the book to her tomorrow… Forget it, since I’ve borrowed it, I might as well finish it.
The following day after school.
As I was on duty that day, I arrived at the club room later than usual, and the first thing I saw was Haruhi toying around with Asahina-san.
“Hold still! Damn it! Be a good girl and don’t move!”
“N… nooo! H… help~~”
Haruhi had nearly stripped a struggling Asahina-san of her uniform.
“KYAA!!!”
Asahina-san screamed when she noticed me arriving.
The moment I saw Asahina-san with only her bra and panties on, I immediately turned around and shut the half-opened door.
“Sorry about that.”
After waiting outside the door for ten minutes, the duet of Asahina-san’s cute moans and Haruhi’s ecstatic exclamations came to an end. Haruhi’s voice passed through the door.
“All right, you can come in now.”
As I reentered the room, I stopped in astonishment.
There greeting me inside was the sight of a beautiful maid.
Dressed in a maid costume, Asahina-san sat on the steel chair with tears in her eyes. After sadly looking at me, she lowered her head.
A white apron coupled with a wavy skirt, a blouse, and white stockings only served to make her more adorable. The lacy headband and the large butterfly-knot increased her charm.
Such an impeccable maid!
“Well? Isn’t she cute?”
Haruhi said as if praising her own handiwork, while caressing Asahina-san’s hair.
I wholeheartedly agree. No offense to poor Asahina-san, but she really does look cute in that.
“This costume’s great, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t!” Asahina-san protested softly, yet I pretended I didn’t hear her and turned to Haruhi.
“Why are you dressing her up as a maid?”
“Because maid costumes are sexy!”
Stop giving such ambiguous answers!
“It took me a long time to think of this, you know?”
Even if you didn’t think at all, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.
“In a play where the school is the main stage, there’s bound to be an adorable character like Mikuru-chan. In other words, the story won’t be able to take off without her, you get it? Mikuru-chan is already gentle and cute, but unless you dress such a cute schoolgirl with a great figure in a maid costume, you won’t get people’s attention. Now everyone’s going to fall in love with her when they see her. With this, we’ll be sure of victory!”
Anyway, what is it that you are trying to win, exactly?
As I was thinking of how to respond, Haruhi took out a digital camera out of nowhere and started taking souvenir shots.
Asahina-san blushed bright red and shook her head violently.
“P… please stop shooting!!!”
Asahina-sempai, you’re wasting your time begging for mercy from Haruhi, even if you bow and kneel, because she’s the sort who will carry on doing what she’s thought out, no matter what.
As expected, Haruhi had Asahina-san perform all sorts of poses for her photo session.
“Sniff…”
“Now look over here! Lower your chin a bit! Lift up your apron! Yes, that’s a good girl! Smile a bit more!”
Haruhi ceaselessly gave out her orders to Asahina-san while simultaneously pressing down on the camera shutter. If I had asked her where she got this digital camera from, she’d definitely say she’d had it “obtained” somewhere. More like stolen, I guess.
Amidst Haruhi’s photo shooting frenzy, Nagato Yuki sat in her seat reading as always. Despite her confusing conversation with me last night, seeing her usual coolness I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Kyon, your turn to shoot.”
Haruhi handed the camera to me and turned towards Asahina-san. Then, like an alligator slowly approaching an unsuspecting bird, she closed her arms around Asahina-san’s shoulders.
“Ah…”
Haruhi smiled to a shrugging Asahina-san.
“Mikuru-chan, try to look a little cuter, OK?”
That said, Haruhi proceeded to loosen Asahina-san’s ribbon, then quickly unbuttoned three buttons on her blouse. Almost instantaneously revealing Asahina-san’s large bosom.
“W-wait! No… what are you doing…!?”
“Don’t worry, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”
Of course it matters, missy!
In the end, Asahina-san was forced to place her hands on her lap and slightly lean forward. Faced with Asahina-san’s well-endowed bust, which was in stark contrast to her small body and cute face, I quickly turned my eyes away. But I wouldn’t have been able to take any pictures that way, so faced with no choice, I turned my eyes back to the camera and pressed the shutter repeatedly as Haruhi had ordered.
Poor Asahina-san was made to perform poses which further emphasized the curves on her breasts, and she was so embarrassed her face got even redder. Yet, even as she was about to cry, she still tried her clumsiest best to smile, giving out a charm never seen before.
Damn it, I think I’m quickly falling in love with her.
“Yuki-chan, lend me your glasses.”
Nagato Yuki slowly lifted her head, then slowly took off her glasses and gave them to Haruhi, and then slowly moved her gaze back to her book. Can you even read without glasses?
Haruhi took the glasses and placed them on Asahina-san’s face.
“The glasses would look better if they’re slightly tilted. There, that would be perfect! Kyon, remember to take more pictures of the four-eyed, innocent and well-endowed maid!”
Putting aside the argument of whether to take the photos or not, just what do you intend to do with the photos of Asahina-san in a maid costume anyway?
“Mikuru-chan, from now on you are to wear this costume every time you come for club activities!”
“How could you…”
Asahina-san tried her best to express refusal, but Haruhi grabbed her and caressed her face endlessly.
“Who asked you to be so cute? Man, even a girl like me can’t resist doing this to you now!”
Asahina-san screamed and tried to escape, but to no avail, being at the mercy of Haruhi’s molesting hands.
Damn, Haruhi, I’m so jealous of you. No, wait, how can I even think like that!? I should be trying to save her!
“All right, I think it’s time for you to stop now!”
I tried to pull Haruhi away from her sexual harassment of Asahina-san, but she just wouldn’t let go.
“That’s enough, stop it already!”
“Does it matter? Why don’t you join in as well?”
Not a bad idea actually, but seeing Asahina-san’s face going white, I naturally said nothing.
“Whoa, what’s going on here?”
Turning around, I saw Koizumi Itsuki standing at the entrance with his bag.
He looked amusedly first at Haruhi, whose hands were moving onto Asahina-san’s breasts; then at me, who was trying to stop Haruhi’s madness; then to Asahina-san in a maid costume, trembling nonstop; and finally to Nagato, who remained unfazed, peacefully reading her book even without her glasses.
Koizumi: “Is this some sort of club activity?”
“Is this some sort of club activity?”
“Koizumi, you came at just the right time! Let’s play with Asahina-san!”
What on earth are you talking about!?
Koizumi only grinned. Please, if you actually agree with Haruhi’s suggestions, then you’ve got some serious issues.
“No thanks, seems pretty scary to me.”
Koizumi placed his bag on the table and unfolded one of the chairs by the wall.
“Mind if I just sit and watch?”
He sat with his legs crossed and looked at me as if he were watching a parade.
“Don’t mind me. Please, continue.”
No! You got it all wrong! I’m not trying to molest Asahina-san! I’m trying to save her!
Eventually, I was able to squeeze in between Haruhi and Asahina-san, and frantically picked up Asahina-san just in time before she fell on the ground. I was amazed by how light Asahina-san was as I placed her back on her seat. Asahina-san’s maid costume was ragged and untidy, and she looked totally worn out, but honestly speaking, I thought she looked rather sexy.
“Oh well, we’ve taken plenty of photos anyway.”
Asahina-san was so exhausted that she just weakly collapsed on the table. Haruhi took off the glasses from her cute face and returned them to Nagato.
Nagato silently received the glasses, putting them back on without saying a word. It’s as though her endless speech last night never happened. She was fooling with me last night, wasn’t she?
“Right, let’s now begin the first SOS Brigade meeting!”
Haruhi, who was standing on the commander’s seat, suddenly shouted. Please stop startling people by suddenly shouting!
“Before this, we’ve already done a lot of work. Like distributing flyers and setting up the webpage, the SOS Brigade’s reputation in the school has soared sky high, so I announce phase one of the work to be a great success.”
How can making Asahina-san mentally scarred be called a success!?
“But our inbox has yet to receive a single email about any mysterious events, and no one has yet come to us to discuss their concerns with their experiences.”
Reputation alone doesn’t help a lot, since until now, not everyone knows what this club is all about. Besides, the school doesn’t even recognize this club!
“There used to be a saying that ‘patience is a virtue’, but times have changed. Even if we have to turn the earth around, we’ll find them on our own. So everyone, let’s begin searching!”
“… What are we looking for?”
Since no one else asked, I decided to do it myself.
“To find out all the mysterious events of this world! As long as we try hard, we’ll be able to find one or two events in this town!”
Your thinking is a mystery in itself, missy!
I displayed my reluctance, Koizumi only smiled enigmatically, Nagato remained wooden faced, while Asahina-san seemed resigned to her fate, too exhausted to answer. Ignoring everyone’s reactions, Haruhi waved her arms and yelled:
“This Saturday, which is tomorrow! We meet outside the north station before nine in the morning! Don’t be late! Absentees will be executed!”
Sigh, not the death penalty again?
What did Haruhi do with Asahina-san’s maid costume photos? I’m sure most of you have guessed, the stupid girl intended to upload all of them onto the webpage so that they could attract people to the website for discussion.
When I discovered this, she had just finished uploading them all on the front page to welcome visitors. She was even typing in the personal details.
Do you know what you’re doing!? This could alert a lot of people!
I tried my best to stop her foolish behavior and had all the images removed. If Asahina-san had known that images of her posing sexily in her maid costume had been spread all over the world, she’d probably faint on the spot.
I quickly warned her about the dangers of putting personal details on the web, and amazingly for once, Haruhi actually paid attention and listened to me seriously. Eventually, as if to spite me, she said rather grumpily:
“I know that already!”
She then very reluctantly allowed me to remove the images from the page. At this moment, I should have been deleting all of Asahina-san’s photos, but it would have been too much of a pity doing that. Hence, I secretly saved them all in a file document within the computer’s hard drive and had it protected with a password.
Only I can view those photos!
Chapter 4
What kind of joke is this!? Asking us to meet at nine in the morning on a weekend! Despite that, though, I still pedaled hard on my bike towards the station. I’m so hopeless!
Being located in the center of town, Kitaguchi Station acts as an important railway hub, and every weekend, the square in front of the station is packed with window-shopping youngsters. Apart from going to a larger city, there’s really not much to do in this town besides going to the mall near the station. It always amazes me how people can live normal lives in this town with so little to do.
Randomly placing my bike at the closed entrance to the bank, I ran to the turnstiles on the north entrance of the station. It was still five minutes to nine, but everyone else had arrived.
Haruhi turned her head and said.
“You’re late! You’ve got to be fined!”
“But it’s not nine yet.”
“Even if you didn’t arrive late, the last person to arrive still has to be punished. That’s the rule!”
“How come I never heard that rule before?”
/> “Because I just thought it up!”
Dressed in a long sleeved T-shirt and a short denim skirt, Haruhi looked very cheerful.
“You’ll have to treat all of us to drinks.”
Placing her arms on her waist with ease, Haruhi looked much more approachable than her usual scowling self. Unable to argue, I obligingly agreed to her command and led everyone to a nearby café.
Asahina-san was dressed in a white sleeveless one-piece dress with a light blue knitted shirt on top. Her long wavy hair was clipped at the back of her head with a hair clip. Every time she moved, it would bounce slightly, making her look cute. Her smile gave her an impression of a well cultured cute young lady. Even her handbag looked trendy.
Standing next to me, Koizumi wore a pink shirt with a jacket on top, as well as sporting a bright red necktie, making him look very formal. I was irritated but I had to admit he looked rather cool, plus he’s taller than me.
Nagato, as usual, stood in the back wearing her sailor uniform. Even though she completely viewed herself as a member of the SOS Brigade, technically she was still with the Literature Club. Hearing her say all those strange things to me the other night made me even more concerned about her cool expression. By the way, why was she wearing a school uniform even on the weekends?
As the Mystery Five walked into the café by the roundabout and sat down in our chairs, the waitress started taking our orders. Only Nagato studied the menu seriously - still no expression displayed, of course - taking her time to decide. Honestly, the time it took for her to decide on what to drink was enough to cook a bowl of ramen!
“Almond tea.” She finally said.
It doesn’t matter what you order, anyway, as I’m the one who’s paying.
Haruhi made the following suggestions:
We would split into two parties. If any of us were to find anything that looked mysterious we were to contact each other at once by cell phone then meet up to discuss what to do next. Once it was all over a debriefing would be held to review and prepare for further developments.
Volume 1 - The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi Page 8