by M A Comley
“Do you want something to eat?” Debs asked.
“Maybe a sandwich, I don’t think I could stomach much.”
“Me neither. What about we share a sandwich and ask if they’ll do us a bowl of chips, just to make sure we have something hot inside us? Who knows when we’ll be eating again, if we need to get on the road later?”
“Good idea.” He reached for her hand. She slipped hers into his and he squeezed it tightly. “I’m glad you’re here with me. I’d be a lost cause without you.”
“Nonsense, you’re stronger than you think. I’ll place the order.” She stood and touched a hand to his cheek, the way she used to do when they were married. It felt comforting to feel her touch, and tears dampened his eyes. Not for the first time, he found himself wondering how their once solid relationship had ended. He watched her walk away, and images of her carrying Adele as a bump swept through his mind. Not being able to stand the heartrending emotions a moment longer, his gaze returned to the dwindling activity going on outside. Finally, the media were packing up and leaving. His heart sank at the realisation that the police wouldn’t be far behind them.
“Everything all right?” Debs asked, placing two bundles of cutlery on the table along with vinegar and ketchup.
“You remembered.” He smiled, gesturing to the condiments.
“Of course, it hasn’t been that long since you were in my life.”
He was silent while he collected his thoughts. “I have so many regrets in this life, the biggest being leaving you and our child.”
“You say that now, only because of the situation we’re in. You left because you were unhappy.”
“Not true. I thought I was. My dick did the talking for me. Sorry to be so crude, but it’s the truth. I still loved you, right up to the day I packed my stuff and gave you back the keys to the house.” Debs glanced down at her lap. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed by his confession or whether she was trying to avoid the subject. He reached for her hand. “Speak to me.”
She looked up, and he saw the sadness in her eyes and the tears forming. “You broke my heart that day. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to forgive you, but here we are, supporting each other in a desperate attempt to get through this horrendous ordeal.”
“I’ll forever be grateful to you for coming here, to be with me. The way you’ve reacted has put me to shame. Many women would have come here wielding a knife if their ex had ‘lost their child’, but not you. You accepted it for the disaster it was and have forgiven me. At least, that’s how I’m reading it.”
“There was never anything to forgive, Martin. I could see the torment you were going through. The last thing you needed was me heaping more guilt on you. Anyway, you weren’t to blame, not directly, not if you weren’t there, although…”
“Go on, say it. I need to feel your anger, so far you haven’t shown much emotion. It’s good to get it out, sweetheart, believe me.”
“Haven’t shown much emotion? Are you kidding me? I’m gutted, as much as you are, if not more. I’ve taken a step back and realised there’s no point in ranting and raving at you or anyone else, what use would it be in the long run? I’m aware of how much you love Adele, going through the court system reinforced that. Please, let’s not go over old ground here. I really don’t see the point. Our priority remains to get our daughter back home. What happens after we’ve achieved that, well… let’s cross that bridge later, eh?”
“Are you telling me there’s hope for us in the future? Despite me letting you and Adele down?” His heart skipped around in his chest doing a happy dance at the prospect of getting back together with Debs and Adele, once she came home. If she came home.
“They say you should never go back, but I don’t believe that’s true. I think everyone deserves a second chance in this life. I’ve never stopped loving you, Martin.”
Taken aback, he stared at her for a while and then leaned over and their lips met in the lightest of kisses.
A cough behind them broke them apart. He looked back to find Inspector Cobbs standing there with Sergeant Jones. He leapt out of his seat, embarrassed they’d been caught out. “Have you found something?” He wiped the sweat from his palms on his jeans.
“I’ve come to tell you that a nearby police force is staking out a house at present, following a lead from the public.”
“My God. Do they believe Adele is inside? They must do, right? Dumb question.”
“We need you to remain calm, Martin, Deborah. The general public, in their eagerness to reach out and help, can often be wrong in cases such as this.”
“What are they going to do? Why don’t they burst in there?”
“I’ve just explained why, Martin, we have to be cautious. I’ve sent a photo of Adele, let’s sit tight and see how that pans out, okay?”
“Thank you, Inspector,” Debs replied. She tugged on Martin’s arm to make him sit down again. “Let’s have some faith, Martin. This could be the news we’ve been waiting for. Try to remain calm.”
He fell back into his chair. “I want to be there. Where is it?”
“I’m not prepared to divulge that information just yet, Martin. We won’t let you down. If Adele is there, we’ll find her and have the three of you reunited ASAP, I promise.”
Just then, the waitress arrived with their food. The inspector stepped away from the table and sat in one of the sofas on the other side of the room where she continued to make calls. Martin kept one eye on her as he tucked into his bacon sandwich and chips. His appetite had wavered and he picked at his lunch, while Debs tucked into hers without a problem.
He noticed the inspector shaking her head a lot and that her fist was clenched beside her, beating the chair. That doesn’t look good! Please, please let Adele be safe.
Eventually, once their lunch plates had been whisked away, the inspector approached them again with an update. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t good news. The child at the property turned out to be a little boy with shoulder-length hair.”
Debs broke down and Martin immediately comforted her. “I thought it was her. How many more times are we going to have to go through similar experiences? Getting our hopes up only for them to be dashed?” Debs mumbled.
“If you’d rather I don’t tell you in the future, I’m okay with that,” Cobbs replied.
“No. I want to know, every step of the way, I want to know what’s going on with the investigation,” Debs confirmed.
“That’s what I thought. Okay, this time was a negative result, but hopefully, it won’t be long before we have a positive one for you. Again, I apologise if you felt I built your hopes up. I think it’s a lesson for us all to not take things for granted until there is some degree of certainty attached to the news.”
“I agree,” Martin replied. “Are you all right, Debs?” Up until now, she had been the stronger one, and it was hard for him to see the tough shell encasing her disintegrate before his eyes.
“I will be. It’s my own fault. I’ve told myself to remain calm. I’ve been practising my yoga techniques and what I’ve learnt from my instructor about keeping calm, and up until now, it’s worked. Hearing that she might have been found broke something inside and the dam burst when it turned out to be a mistake. I’ll gather my thoughts together and stop being a blubbering wreck.”
He held her hand. “You’re allowed to show your feelings, no one will think any worse of you, Debs.”
“Martin is right, Deborah. I’m sorry to have given you false hope only to strip it away again within minutes. I feel bad about that,” the inspector said.
“No, no. Please, don’t feel bad. We want to know these things, don’t we, Martin?”
“Yes, she’s right. I think being in the dark will only prove to be more damaging in the long run.”
“As you wish. I’m going to get the teams together now. See what their reaction is to calling it a day out here, if that’s okay with you?”
“If you think that’s the right call, then Deb
s and I won’t stand in your way.”
As soon as the inspector left the room Martin gathered Debs in his arms and the dam burst again. He mopped up her tears and rocked her back and forth for the next ten minutes, until she lifted her head and kissed him on the cheek.
“I’m fine now. My old nan used to swear by a good cry, now and again. It’s good for the system, apparently.”
Grinning, he said, “Maybe I should try it sometimes.”
“What now?”
Martin glanced out of the window and saw the dejected crowd dispersing. “I suppose we should head back to Liverpool; as much as that thought horrifies me, I think we have to take what the inspector said on board and believe that someone, an opportunist, took Adele. I detest the thought of her being with someone else. Furthermore, if ever I lay my hands on the bastard who grabbed her, I’m going to bloody tear him to shreds, limb by limb. I’ll search the internet for the most gruesome ways to kill people and hold him captive until he cries for mercy and then I’ll up the ante.”
Shocked, Debs asked, “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“You bet I am. What gives a person the right to take someone else’s child? They’re in the wrong, not me.”
“My nan had another saying she used to band about too.”
He tilted his head and asked, “Which was?”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“Ah, that old chestnut. Maybe she’s right, but you know what? I couldn’t give a toss, at the end of the day, torturing the culprit will make me feel good inside. At the moment, I’m raw with guilt and helplessness.”
“You have nothing to feel guilty about, but I hear you on the helplessness. I suppose it goes with the territory. Talking about driving home, when we get there, what will you do? Go back to Louise’s?”
“No. There’s no future for us, not now. I’ll stay at a friend’s house. I’m sure Sean and Tania will put me up for a few days.”
“Or…”
“Or?” He gripped her hand.
“You could move back into the family home again. After all, you’re still paying half the mortgage and towards some of the bills, or had you forgotten that?”
“Blimey, is that truly an option? After the way I treated you?”
“Let’s just say, my heart is ruling my head on this one.”
“You’re such a wonderfully forgiving person, Debs. I’m not worthy to know you, let alone anything else…” He let his words die off, not wishing to ruin anything.
“Nonsense. We all make mistakes in this life, Martin. Let’s move on within reason, and deal with whatever lies in our future together. We’ll be far stronger as a unit than if we dealt with this shit separately.”
“You took the words out of my mouth.” He leaned over and kissed her on the lips; a kiss that was neither fleeting nor lingering, it settled somewhere in between, which seemed to suit both of them.
The inspector returned to see them half an hour later, to give them an update. They had a coffee together. She laid her cards on the table, and she was honest and forthright in what she told them. “I would advise you to go home today. I can honestly say I can’t see any point in you remaining in the area. However, I also want to assure you that we will continue the search for Adele, maybe not physically out here, because I believe it will be a waste of time, but we’ll search every means available to us, continue to work with the nearby forces in the hope that some clues or evidence will surface that urge us to investigate. You have my number, don’t hesitate to call me if you’re unsure about anything you hear in the news. I will warn you though, some journalists are in the job to make mischief and to further their careers, just be aware of that whilst watching the news and reading the newspapers.”
“We will. Can we ask that you give us regular updates?” Martin suggested.
“Of course, every other day?”
“That would be great. We’ll give you our mobile numbers.”
“I know this probably looks to you like we’re giving up, but I promise you, our investigation has only just begun. I also want to warn you that there are sure to be numerous dark days ahead of you. I’m glad you have each other to lean on, that will be a bonus for you in the battle that lies ahead.”
Debs and Martin clung to each other’s hands. “We’re going to help each other get through this. Reunited for however long it takes to find Adele. Who knows what will happen after she comes home?” Debs said, smiling at Martin.
“I’m glad. There’s nothing worse than warring parents who have separated and are intent on blaming each other when things get bad. It helps no one and risks putting the child in further jeopardy, in my opinion.”
“Exactly. We want to thank you for keeping us up to date, Inspector. For treating us like human beings and not casting our concerns aside,” Martin said.
“Different officers deal with victims’ families in varying ways. I’ve always found the direct approach to be the fairest and most productive to all concerned. I’ll be in touch soon. Have a safe trip home.”
“Thank you. We’re glad to have you leading the investigation,” Martin replied, offering his hand to shake. The inspector smiled and shook it.
“Teamwork, all round, remember that.” She left the room and they watched her go in silence until the door shut.
“At least I don’t have the feeling we’re all alone,” Debs said.
Martin watched the inspector issue instructions to her team outside. “I agree.”
8
During the journey back south, Debs had insisted Martin should drive. The car remained quiet most of the time. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. Each of them lost, deep in their own thoughts. Martin found himself keeping vigilant throughout. As he passed every car, he couldn’t help but cast a cursory glance at the passengers. Ever hopeful that Adele might be staring back at him. It was a daft thought; nevertheless, it was one that made the journey more bearable at times.
“Do you have the rest of the week off?” Debs asked when they were about twenty miles from home.
“Yes, I’d booked the cottage for a week. Are you supposed to be at work?”
“No, I booked the week off to put my feet up and make the most of Adele not being around.” Her voice became strained.
He reached for her hand. “I know what you meant. Don’t get upset, love. We’ll get through this. She’ll come back to us soon, I’m sure she will.”
“I hope you’re right. I’m trying to keep upbeat about it, but every now and then, a simple thought catches me out.”
“It’s the same for me. I know you said to stop thinking about it and blaming myself, but it’s easier said than done. The what-ifs coursing through my mind are driving me nuts.”
“Remember what I said, you need to let the guilt go; otherwise, it’s going to make you ill. Then where would I be, without you around to comfort me during my darkest days?”
He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“Good. We’re more powerful as a team. What will you do about your belongings?”
“Ugh, I’ll need to drop over and have a chat with Louise soon. It’s only fair to let her know what’s been decided. If you’re still okay about me moving back in with you?”
“Of course. I’d be lost without you beside me. And that’s not me being slushy, it’s a fact. Let’s face it, neither of us knows what lies ahead of us. I sense a rollercoaster ride of emotions could overwhelm us. Having you around will make it easier to deal with. I’m grateful to you moving back in, I know the decision wasn’t an easy one for you to make, love.”
“I’m determined to make things work between us, Debs. I can never expect you to fully forgive me, but I want to assure you that I will never stray in the future. If this awful incident has taught me anything, it’s that we belong together.”
Debs kissed his hand in return. “I agree. The past is the past, some things are best left there. Can I ask yo
u something personal?”
“Oh, God, here goes. What’s that?”
“Why did Louise’s husband walk out on her and the kids?”
“I asked the same question and never really received a proper answer. She told me that one day he walked out and never came back.”
“What? Don’t you think that’s weird?”
“Yes, definitely. I did ask the question, but she couldn’t supply any answers. I asked if they were happy up until that point, and she replied, yes, as far as she knew. I suppose it goes to prove you really don’t know what’s going on in someone’s head until it’s too late.”
“That’s terrible, abandoning the kids like that. And they’ve had no contact with him at all?”
“Nope, nothing.”
“I hate to say it, but could he have committed suicide? Was that ever a consideration?”
Martin nodded and indicated to pass another car on his left. He peeked through the window as he sped past. “It was considered, but discounted pretty quickly by Louise and Chris’s parents.”
“I see. What about his job? Don’t tell me he left that as well?”
“First place Louise checked. He’d handed his notice in two weeks before. Even pretended to Louise that he was going to work the week before he took off.”
“Wow, so it was… what do the police call it? Pre-something.”
“Premeditated, yep, so it would seem. Louise even tried to employ a private detective to do some digging for her, but he drew a blank as well.”
“Bloody hell. I suppose if someone chooses to just disappear like that, there’s very little anyone else can do about it. I feel sorry for Louise, now she’s about to lose you as well.”
“I know. I feel like shit for walking away, but I wouldn’t be able to keep up the pretence, Debs. I don’t love her, I’m still in love with you.”
Debs swallowed and sniffled. He handed her a tissue from the central console. “All we need now is to get our baby back and then we can be a proper family again.”