by Jolie, Mika
Since her lover was obviously inside, Lily did what any sane woman who was about to dump someone would do. She slowly removed her jacket and escaped into the powder room to ensure she looked like she was coming back from an awesome date. She reapplied the red lipstick and tousled her dark brown pixie hair to give it the appearance that someone’s fingers had already been there, and then pulled the little strapless black dress an inch or two above her thighs.
Well, her eyes were on the puffy side. And she looked a little dazed from her cold, but those attributes could work to her advantage.
There, Mr. Italian-sex-god.
She found him on her sofa. All six foot plus of perfect lean muscles fast asleep. She didn’t approach him. Not out of concern of waking him up. Nope. She learned long ago, one should not seek out a predator. He could and would eat her alive. Instead, she stood a few inches away, mesmerized. Even asleep, the man managed to look sexy as hell.
She scanned the body she had become familiar with. He appeared as if he threw whatever was within reach on, and oh my, how beautiful he looked in casual attire. His jeans sat low on his lean hips, the Captain America cotton V-neck tee stretched across his broad shoulders and his rock-hard abs. She knew that because she had kissed every part of him on many occasions.
A smile tugged the corner of her lips. Such a conundrum he was. Born American, raised in Italy, and now splitting his time between the two countries. A man without a home, who belonged everywhere and nowhere.
She took in his large frame. He was too big for her sofa; his worn New Balance hung over the armrest. He had gotten a haircut since she last saw him. Although now shorter, his jet-black hair was still unruly with strands wildly tousled in his face. Lily fought the urge to reach out, brush the curls aside and touch the scar on his left eyebrow. For a fleeting moment she wondered how he got it.
Lily quickly dismissed the desire to know everything about the man on her sofa and continued to survey him. His jaw was firm and strong, even in sleep stood with pride. His arrogant masculine nose was slightly crooked, like it had been broken and left to its imperfections. His lips full, well-defined and inviting; even in a relaxed state they looked sinfully delicious. She fought the need to surrender to her desires and suck on his lower lip. Memories of the many times they brought her to ecstasy flashed in her mind. Even the thin crease on the corners of his mouth, not from age but of laughter, was downright sexy. Every piece of him was molded to perfection, a thing of beauty and he knew it.
Oh, God. She should not be thinking about ecstasy or how perfectly sculpted he was. She needed to dump him, not jump him. Lily blew out a breath and started to walk past him into the living room to make her way down the hall to her bedroom. She could dump his ass in the morning. She paused inches away from him and stole one last glance, noticing for the first time the fatigue on his face.
Well, what did you expect, Lily? The man looked like he had flown straight from Morocco when he was supposed to be in Italy relaxing.
Why would he do that?
“Because you refused to answer your phone,” he muttered, his eyes still closed as he reached and caught her arm. “I never made it to Italy.”
His voice and the realization she had spoken out loud startled her. Oh, well, at least she didn’t voice all the crazy thoughts of what she’d like to do to his body. “You didn’t go see your parents?”
Eyes still closed, he shook his head. “I came straight here.”
This meant he had been in her condo during those text messages. Puzzled, she stared at his handsome face. The question she wanted to ask but didn’t dare. Why?
“It’s late,” he continued in a calm but steely voice, eyes still closed. “Where were you? Although I have a feeling I already know. You’re all dressed up.”
“How do you know that? Your eyes are closed.”
He chuckled, that cocky, confident chuckle that used to irritate her when they first met. No, she corrected. It still irritated the hell out of her.
“How long have we been together now? A little over a year.”
So he was keeping track. A year, two months and two weeks, but who was counting? “We are not together.”
He smiled that sweet, sexy smile that always made her want to devour him. Tonight was no exception.
“You were checking me out,” he continued, his voice filled with humor, though Lily also traced fatigue underneath.
She stared at him. Long, thick eyelashes no man should have swept over his hard and handsome face. “I wasn’t,” she lied. “You look tired, so I was concerned.” Naturally she cared, even if they were fuck-buddies.
Eyes the color of the earth, rich and fertile, opened, captured her gaze and held it. Lily loved his eyes. They were expressive and changed based on the time of the day. At sunset, they’d had golden flecks in them that would fade as night settled in. They had the power to captivate her, hold her hostage.
She always found herself gazing into them a little longer than she probably should. They held warmth and knowledge in them, secrets as well. Secrets that sparked her curiosity but never felt close enough to him to ask. Even after a year of sleeping together, they were still strangers.
“So you actually care,” he teased, bringing her back to the reality of the state of their relationship. They didn’t do feelings, sentiments or any of that mushy stuff. No, those were for Keely and Blake and now Minka and Jason.
Still holding her hand, he came to his feet and circled his arms around her waist. His lips touched the corner of hers. The same lips that had been kissing another woman only forty-eight hours ago. Peeved, she brought her free hand against his muscular chest and pushed out of his grip.
“What are you doing here?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I missed you.”
“You flew from Morocco to see me. I didn’t realize I was that good.” She walked past him into her small kitchen to turn on the stove and retrieved a tea kettle. She needed a hot toddy, tea with a nice shot of whiskey to take care of this darn cold. Of course he followed, every piece of her sensed his presence in the tight space of her kitchen. God, he radiated sex. Pure, unadulterated, raw, wonderful sex. And good-looking, she reminded herself. Too freaking good-looking for his own good. Good looks and sex appeal were a lethal combination. Her body went damp, responding to his closeness.
She went about setting the kettle in an attempt to show his presence didn’t affect her. That was a complete lie, of course; she felt his gaze warm on her back as he leaned against her bench top inspecting her every move, her black fitted dress and her four-inch heels elongating her legs. She glanced at him as she walked over the pantry to retrieve the raw honey. His lips twisted into a snarl; obviously the realization she had been out on a date had settled.
“What happened to our not sleeping with anyone else rule?” His voice was controlled and tight. She knew him well enough to know he was livid.
Good. That makes two of us.
“I was on a date, Adam. That doesn’t necessarily mean I was screwing someone’s brains out.” She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at him. “Something you wouldn’t be familiar with.”
“We had an agreement.”
Lily squared her shoulders and forced herself to face what she was trying to postpone till the morning. No time like the present, her mother always said. And the images of Adam lip-locking with that woman still seared anger through her. She reached for her phone on the counter, flipped through her pictures until she landed on a particular one and tossed it across the room at him. He caught the device just as it hit his chest.
“Our agreement is now void.” Take that. Two can play this game.
She watched his eyes focus on the picture, the one of him kissing that floozy. His brows creased and then the unexpected happened. He smiled.
He actually smiled and looked amused. Why was he smiling? Feeling her anger rising, Lily glared at him, but he seemed unfazed and took three easy steps to close the gap between them. She cursed her ki
tchen for being so small. Her only reaction was to take a step back, away from him and ended pinned against the wall. Literally.
“You stayed up and watched my race.” A smug smile tugged the corners of his mouth, satisfaction radiating off of him. As much as she hated his profession, she actually watched him win the last Formula One. He was missing the point.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He grinned. “You’re lying.”
So what? Everyone who knew her could detect when she was lying. “Whatever.”
One long, tanned finger stroked her bottom lip. “She kissed me,” he explained. His voice low and husky. “The camera chose not to show the part where I broke it off. Do you know why I did that?”
She knew. They had an agreement. Nonetheless, she waited, wanting to hear it once more.
“Because of you. Because of us.” His lips were dangerously close to hers now. “I only want to kiss you, touch you, fuck you.”
“There is no us,” she managed to argue, but even in her own ears, the argument sounded feeble and weak.
Chapter Two
“In a perfect world, you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glittering kiss and every touch of flesh is another shard of heart you’ll never see again.”
Neil Gaiman
“Am I forgiven?” he whispered.
Oh, so close, she could easily slip her tongue into that delicious mouth of his and take over.
No. At least that’s what common sense told her to say; instead her lips parted for him, wanting and need to feel his mouth on hers. But she held back, savoring the sweet torture. “I don’t want to forgive you.”
His eyes gleamed with amusement. “We can’t kiss until you do. It’s important to me that you believe I would never break a promise.” The beguilement was now replaced by an intense look of determination. The heat of his breath caressed her face, making her shiver with need.
She closed her eyes and blocked the seriousness in his. Not too long ago, similar words were spoken and broken by another man. Only the funny thing was, she believed Adam. He’d kept their promise for the last year. Sex and fun, but only with each other. At least, until the kiss. With his lips so close she couldn’t think straight.
“Liliana?”
The sound of her name in that seductive accent slid over her and pooled in her belly. Did he really need to say her name? That was pure sexual torture. No man should have the power to make a woman’s name sound so sensuous.
“I’m thinking.”
His finger trailed along her cheek to her jaw then her bottom lip.
“You’re not playing fair,” she breathed softly.
He threaded his fingers through her hair, yanked her head back and skimmed his lips over her neck, almost but not quite kissing her. “I never intended to play fair. So say you believe me.”
She did. But something else nagged her. Fear that she might be a bit too inexperienced for the game they’ve been playing. Fear, sooner or later her heart would be affected and want more. Liar. You already want more, the little voice inside her taunted. Lily quickly shut it down. Wanting Adam was one thing, allowing her heart to get involved was another matter. Her goal had always been to keep a firm grip on her emotions, live on the wild side a bit and be reckless. But somewhere along the way, her heart had gone bonkers and changed direction. The nonchalant, unconcerned was all an illusion.
The truth was she cared. More than she’d like to admit.
Even after the disaster of her engagement, she still believed in the HEA–Happily Ever After. Just not with Adam. Behind that calm, cool demeanor, lay a force she’d only seen during moments of passion, but she guessed it ran deeper than he’d allowed her to see. A bête noire, that was Adam. Too dark, too intense, and too impulsive. A part of her feared him, fear of being consumed by him, driven over and flattened to nothing, burned to a crisp by his intensity. Nope, she wanted none of that. The last thing she wanted to do was lose herself in loving him.
“I believe you, Adam.”
He tilted her chin. “But there’s more. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
The fact they expected nothing from each other helped and made it easier for Lily to voice any concern. Finally she opened her eyes. “When will we know this is too much?”
Rich cocoa eyes penetrated hers, giving her once again a glimpse of his spirit. Lily swallowed hard.
“Do you want to end us, Lily?”
Yes. No. Her stomach filled with angst.
“Just say the word and I will walk away.” His voice was curt with no hint of being affected by the possibility of their end.
Could it really be that easy? “Just like that?”
With his body still pressing against hers, he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
Something buzzed insistently against her. Adam stepped an inch or two away, reached in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. His shoulders tensed up a bit as he frowned at the screen. “No fucking interview,” he growled, ended the call and dropped the phone on the counter.
“Another woman?” she asked, arms crossed over her chest.
“No other woman, Liliana, just you, for as long as you want. I gave you my word.” He walked over to the stove and poured the hot water into the cup with the tea bag. Then he opened her refrigerator to retrieve a piece of ginger and a lemon. Lily watched him move with ease and familiarity around her kitchen. He knew where everything was located.
She recalled the nervous feeling the first time he came to visit. Even after the half pitcher of sangria Minka had poured down her throat, her heart had been racing. And now here he was standing in her kitchen like he belonged. The fact that her condo was not even half the size of his house in Chilmark, or that their relationship was nonexistent didn’t stop him from settling right in.
He brought out the cutting board to slice the ginger and split the Meyer lemon. Then he squeezed the juice into her tea, and stirred the pieces of the seed-bearing plant in the cup as well. He walked over to the other side of her kitchen to the liquor cabinet and poured a shot of whiskey into the cup and finished it with a tablespoon of raw honey.
“There,” he said with a smile as he handed her the cup. “A hot toddy. This will knock you out for the night.”
She took a sip of the warm liquid. Hot and sumptuous, with delectable undertones of sweet vanilla that awoke her slumbering palate and filled her with comfort. “Thank you.”
He didn’t move. Instead, his large body leaned against the counter as he continued to watch her. And the more he did so, the more she wanted to spread her legs and welcome him home. Especially since the last time they were together was a month ago.
Home. Ha! Not in a million years. Get over the romantics, Lily. She couldn’t even fault Adam for that. He had always been straightforward about their relationship–a physical commitment with no emotional attachment. Sex with me only, because I’m the alpha male. I rock your world, and I promise I will only have sex with you too kind of commitment. Nothing serious. He never made promises or led her to believe they could be more.
Lily brushed away the thoughts. No thinking about possibilities. That was a definite no-no.
For four hundred and sixty-nine days. A year, three months and two weeks she had been fine with their “committed but no chance for happily ever after” status. Lord knew it was exactly what she needed after her failed engagement. A relationship where the only thing she could count on was Adam’s physical fidelity. Anything else would be too complicated and at this point in her life, complication was a major no-no. Except for that nagging void creeping up lately. Again, she dismissed it.
The question echoed in her head. What was she thinking?
Sex with no strings attached rarely resulted in uncomplicated. More like a complete disaster. Especially when feelings were starting to crawl their way in, never mind she was never really good at the just sex thing.
She blamed it all on her heart.
Treacherous
heart.
“Should I call for a car to pick me up?” His voice interrupted her thoughts.
If she said yes he would not fight her, this much she knew. He’d walk out of her life the same way he entered. Totally unexpected, and it would leave her broken because as scared as she was of what ifs, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye. “You look tired.” She gave him a coy smile. “You should at least stay the night.”
He arched a brow. “Is that your excuse for me to spend the night?”
“I have a cold. I could use another hot toddy later.” She took another sip of the drink Adam had introduced her to over the winter. A drink she’d come to associate with him. It even tasted like him, delicious and intoxicating.
Adam smiled. He walked over and erased the distance between them. “I see that.” He brushed her bangs away from her face. “I’m still going to fuck you.”
He better. “You might get sick.”
His wide hands cupped her face. “Have I ever told you I like to live on the edge?”
Yes, as a matter of fact he’d established that right away. His thirst for natural rushes usually involved snowboarding, surfing, plane gliding and, let’s not forget, the need for speed.
“Once or twice.”
“Besides.” Strong arms circled her waist and held her against him. “I don’t get sick…ever.”
Somehow she believed that.
“But if I were to get sick, I can’t think of a more beautiful woman to get sick with,” he continued with that sexy smile of his.
Adam had a way of making her feel as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. One day she might start to believe him.